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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here (44238 Views)
'Frustrated' Lastborn Tired Of Housework Writes Warning Letter To Family Members / My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy / My MIL Is Driving Me Craazzy. Help! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Dexema(m): 5:35pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
She's just being selfish and uncaring, fix a monthly budget for your home and reduce all access to direct cash and also try to move your money around (incase she has access to your balance). May God help u. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Coldfeet(f): 5:35pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Genea:Hahahahah that's the aim of the thread nah! For single ladies to notice and see him like a loaded guy. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by bettercreature(m): 5:35pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
HARDDON:You have lot of experience i love your advice,this is a best advice for you go and buy land and start spending your money on it she will only mismanage the left over,and make sure you have a secret account Note..YOU MUST NOT STOP HER otherwise you will set your home on fire 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by jaz(m): 5:35pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Yeah right. Go to grand square VI and the likes and then come back with your figures Sacluxpaint: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ladyverere(f): 5:35pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
2 of my brothers wives are exactly like your wife. My younger brother kept indulging her until he was neck deep in serious debt with his bank! But for our intervention and bail out it would have been another story that touch. Now he's learnt his lesson and now hardens his heart to her extravagant and lavish lifestyle. Of course they fight a lot but he no longer parts unless it is absolutely necessary. My eldest brother dealt with his as soon as he noticed his wife persistent extravagance and ostentatious lifestyle. He told her bluntly that she should be ready to foot her extravagance lifestyle. She thought he was joking so she went out and bought some real expensive stuff, things they don't even need. But my brother refused to pay. They fought bitterly over it and she threatened to pack out. He told her that if she left she should never return! She saw he meant business and decided to sit put. She paid every penny of that debt by herself and never repeated same again. Now she ditches out advice on financial prudence! So Op you must put your foot down firmly and mean it. Alternatively, you can continue buying the things you need at home yourself, I mean those things you know your wife will take you to the cleaners for. Also, don't tell her about your savings and such since she believes such must be spent extravagantly. And make the rules as the head of your home. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 5:37pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Alondra: Matured response. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Billiondoe: 5:37pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Simply give her a certain amount of money so you dnt bother ur self with what she buys in d house or how much she spends on one item....and make her understand that's all she would be getting for the month...you don't have to fight or argue with her...take her to dinner and give her the news like you are on her side, she would be overwhelmed...you are the man!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by badblog: 5:37pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Unfortunately no one has asked Op what he defines as lavish.. until he does so, I won't judge or comment.. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by DonaTee(f): 5:38pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: @op u av to calm down a little. Try to make a mental pix or calculation of the basic important spending u guys make in a month. By this I mean feeding. also calculate wat u spend on luxury. Table it n show her. Ask her how she thinks d money will flow when d kids start coming. Ask her how u guys would b able to build ur own house n houses for rent ask her jow u guys would b able to hav health n emergency savings ask her how u guys can b able to create plan B businesses ask het how u both can fund vacations. When she answer finish wether gud or bad pls remind her dat timea are hard. And tell her 1. how much u ll b giving her for house upkeep. 2. How much u ll b giving her as pocket money (just a tease...like awuff) 3. Her salary is for her upkeep n hair. But during festivities n birthday n anniversary u go dey giv am money as it pleases u. verily I say unto u, soon she may get advice abt stopping u from buying foodstuffs n such. Dat na her department n apriko is allowed. Even my hubby knws I do apiriko in market list n he uses it to tease me. When we started some times he ll withold things frm me. After throwing tantrum I ll couple myself. Yrs down he told me he was testing n training me on how to forfeit during lack. Im grateful for dat. But seriously be firm in ur financial management if not na she go first tell u how u dey lazy wen ur mates r hustling. sorry for boring long post |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by bigtt76(f): 5:39pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Sit her down and lay out your long term plans before her and how you both intend to achieve it. Family holidays, bringing forth kids, owning own house, catering for extended families etc are issues you guys need to discuss together. Make her understand the need for a monthly budget. If she insists on expensive stuff, then some other items on the budget list would suffer. Do not go out of your way to stock the house, reason a budget with her based on the household items required. If she shoots above it .....do not try to make it up rather ensure both of you endure the need to sacrifice other items on the list. For example, if she insists on buying 4 ply toilet rolls @500 naira each when a 2ply goes for 100 naira (meaning 500 hundred would have bought 5 2ply toilet rolls instead of 1 4ply). If the 4ply finishes ....no buying another until the next month. You both go use water ....only then would she see the import of what you want her to learn. overcomer123: |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Billiondoe: 5:45pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
maysimsimple:You cldt keep your wife so you should not be giving advise on marital issues, with all due respect..A man who drives his dad's car has no business in the council of men who own bicycles... 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Originalsly: 5:46pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
You're already in the soup. .... already spoken to her. Whatever you or anyone else tells her would enter one ear and exit the other. Actions speak louder than words.. you did well to make a chunk of your savings disappear. Consult with her in investing the remainder in another scheme to recoup the money lost in MMM..... make up one if need be.....she would tell you to invest. Make that money disappear as well.... that would be on her..... then let her manage what is left. Her brain will reset. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Icon79(m): 5:48pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Bros, welcome to my world. That's all I gotta say |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by habsydiamond(m): 5:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
this is an example of up's and down's in marriage. Too much argument can lead to fight which can divide ur home. Na Verb (action word) u need. Display Action cos they say it speak louder than voice. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by no1madman(m): 5:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
If u eliminate her,Dem go say. . . |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 5:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
bro, I understand how you feel. My partner doesn't have equal issue but has got other characteristics in relation. My advice is to stop arguing; don't talk too much. I know how frustrating it is when the right thing is known and your partner chooses otherwise even after your talking and her promises.... it gets to you right into the bone. She knows what she's doing is wrong. stop trying to show her. keep quiet and do what you want. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by usfreshen: 5:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: Well for me you mistakenly causes it by spending extravagantly for her during the courtship, but God on your side you have mistakenly gotten the solution by telling her how you lost a ghost money through MMM. You build on that and never make her no what you have in your account again and above all try to be in control as a man. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by firstclassmumu: 5:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
One chance marriage |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Genea(f): 5:52pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Coldfeet:lolx, u r very smart ooo |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by HarveySpecter1: 5:53pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Madam bukatyne, This was the same argument we were having earlier today. When a woman doesn't contribute to her home, she spends frivolously. In this case, the op is at fault for not discussing with the wife, her own contribution ( substantial) to the family. Before I left Nigeria, my immediate boss' take home was more than 600k and his wife ,a banker, was earning over 300k. Even at that ,there were substantial contribution from the two of them. Family/Marriage is like an investment so why let such a partner do all the contribution. Op (overcomer123), you laid you bed this way, so you will lie on it. Please allow her make you broke. You never see anything. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by yakbauer: 5:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Bros you're on a tight leash here oh, I think you've taken the right steps so far, my only addition is to talk a lot less, & just act, d more u talk the more arguments you'll have. Just to add, this might seem like a bad idea, but there's this short video clip I saw about "vitamin NO" which needs to be administered in regular doses. Once in a while deny her some "wants" but try to ensure she gets all her "needs". I hope she changes, cheers |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Sorry o brother, I don't want to derail o. Please did you snap pre wedding pictures?.. Just for humour.. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ocelot2006(m): 5:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
'had the same issue with my wife years ago. Don't get me wrong, she isn't vane with a taste for expensive fashion and all that, BUT she tends to care way too much about the needs of other and overspend as a result without thinking about the family. We sat down and talked about it, still she insisted on playing the Mother Theresa role. So I read the riot act. That was not going to happened. I practically stopped her allowances. I think it did the trick. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by kjhova(m): 6:00pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
@OP, Hardly is there a marriage anywhere on planet Earth where approach to financials is not a major issue in the early period if not all through the lifetime of the marriage. There is also no one-size-fits-all solution to it wether you join accounts, hide accounts or make her privy to your financial details. You guys will grind each other out with time and I hope it will be for the better. Your wife may not necessarily be a spendsthrift as your post suggests. Maybe you guys just defer in spending preferences e.g. she wants to have the Samsung 50" TV of N220K while doing DSTV Access bouquet sub of N2000/month for Africa Magic while you would rather have an LG 32" TV of N90K while doing Premium bouquet of N14K/month for full EPL/Liga BBVA. You see her preferences as frivolous while she considers you as same. Who is right? Like another poster said earlier, men are critical while women tend to be emotional. Background also matters. You guys can only talk about it and hopefully find your way round it. No two families will ever chat the same part. BTW, all these guys telling you to be the man and put your foot DOWN...disregard them, they are the one's who more likely grovel before their wives in bed by 2am in the morning. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:00pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123:when love don scatter head, why you no go show am everything... Guys abeg, make una dey try control una emotions... Una no know women ooo!...hmmm |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by queenblossom(f): 6:00pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Joe4lv: I disagree with u. In my own case d reverse is d case. I am d prudent one while my husband is d extravagant type. And it still drives me crazy cos I don't like wasting money 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by HarveySpecter1: 6:03pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Coldfeet: Go look for your husband. Who told you the op gives a f0rk about frustrated single girls like you. Hunger go hammer your kind. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:07pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Alondra:Brilliant!. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Benita27:Thanks Benny |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by CHOREM(f): 6:10pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
U have to take the pain of going to market to buy needed stuff without declosing the price to her wen u get home. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by klassic(m): 6:10pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
[quote author=Billiondoe post=52498540]Simply give her a certain amount of money so you dnt bother ur self with what she buys in d house or how much she spends on one item....and make her understand that's all she would be getting for the month...you don't have to fight or argue with her...take her to dinner and give her the news like you are on her side, she would be overwhelmed...you are the man!!![/quote Op this won't work. Stand your ground and make her feel your finances are nose diving. But it will make you lie or avoid discussing financial issues with her. |
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