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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here (44526 Views)
'Frustrated' Lastborn Tired Of Housework Writes Warning Letter To Family Members / My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy / My MIL Is Driving Me Craazzy. Help! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by toprealman: 10:53pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
During courtship, be as stingy as possible. In fact if possible, make sure you guys split the bills. Test, retest and finally test her financial management abilities. If she scales through....with other tests though, pop the question. Take pre-wedding pics **winks** and upload online for busybody NLanders to feast on. The story will end like this...and they lived happily ever after. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 11:05pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
zolapeperenpe:Nairaland is a place ur identity is anonymous. So let say i like to come on nairaland, to rant about my personal affairs is it a crime? |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by JayJustus(m): 11:10pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
you are an overcomer you will overcome Nigerian girls hehehehehehe |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by kjhova(m): 11:12pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by olumide4christ: 11:12pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
DrogoG: SIR..YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD...THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TOLD MANY SINGLES INTENDING TO MARRY!! THAT'S WHERE THE OP MADE A BIG MISTAKE!! WHILE I WAS COURTING MY WIFE, I ENSURED THAT SHE ACCEPTED ME FOR WHOM I WAS, NOT FOR WHAT I HAD & I THANK GOD THAT 5 YEARS AFTER, SHE IS STILL VERY CONSIDERATE WHEN THERE IS MONEY & NO MONEY, SHE IS NOT LAVISH IN SPENDING & EVEN HELPS OUT FINANCIALLY WHEN REQUIRED, THOUGH I EARN FAR MORE THAN HER 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by NemzySeries(m): 11:18pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
no matter aw spirit filled u are itz not everything u share wit a woman especially on areas shez got huge weakness......she shd av an idea of ur financial strength but not xact figures & sumtimes get want u want 4 d family & let it appear as a surprise ......success to ur marriage bro |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 12:02am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Op I read through your previous posts and you wanted to call off the wedding. The deed was done and you now have regrets. All the red flags were there, but you passed them. If you are going to leave the marriage, now is the time. Do not wait until you have brought children. If you haven't done the church wedding yet, you can move on. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by maysimsimple(m): 12:37am On Jan 04, 2017 |
FortuneTeller: I wish u well. Maybe u can tell their fortunes where u are ma'am. Her life was never in danger in her matrimonial home. Please again dont say things u dont know about me. i'm not d uncultured type. I'm not a flirt. Social media Network is annoynymous, anybody can pretend n say whatever they like, Use any pics. And never ever say God is not pleased with me. Bcoz u Dont know my story so shut ur mouth. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by princessayesha(f): 12:42am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Divorce is not an option though...all the best |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by olumide4christ: 12:57am On Jan 04, 2017 |
I have 2 or 3 points to make on this issue; POINT NO.1 [b]I have said it time and again that courtship period is so important to the success of any marriage that it should not be rushed and it should be well utilized. Some people have said in time past that they would only have a 3-months courtship before marriage since age-wise, time was not on their side. 3 months courtship can never be adequate for a successful marriage becos there would be little or no time for the couple to discuss vital/critical issues about their future which could affect the success of the marriage such as the issue that the OP has raised. I believe that if the OP had had a courtship of at least 1 year in which he discussed vital issues with his spouse and studied her to find out some peculiar traits about her, he would have discovered this particular trait and others in her and tried correcting them and if the lady was not bug, then he would have decided if he wanted to continue with the relationship or just break up with her (a broken courtship is always better than a broken marriage)[/b] These things are very practical...they worked for me...I actually would intentionally ask my wife-to-be some questions which would give me some idea of the kind of person she was and where there was need for corrections/adjustments, we would go over it and resolve it. I also gave her the opportunity to do vice-versa. It worked out at the end of the day. Some people spend all their courtship period going to eateries the beach, the cinema, etc just for the fun of it without giving quality time to discussing their future and knowing their spouse better. POINT NO. 2 A lot of people marry a particular person for the wrong reasons..like someone said in this thread...because the lady has a fine face, big breasts and backside or because the man has money or is muscular, etc and not because of their inner qualities or traits. However, it should be known that it is not the outward characteristics that keep a marriage, but the inner qualities..as we can see in the OP's case. The bible emphasizes this in many places like Prov. 31:30 (favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord shall be praised)..infact I urge every serious man/woman who desires a good partner/marriage to read the whole of Proverbs 30 where it talks about the virtuous woman..you can't go wrong if you decide to emulate what the bible says there..also consider 1Peter 3:1-7 where the bible talks about the inner qualities..these passages and many more helped me in making a right choice of a marriage partner Come think of it...how long does one spend in intercourse enjoying these physical attributes of a woman/man compared with relating with his/her inner character on a daily or weekly basis..there simply is no basis for comparison. This, we should concentrate more on the inner qualities rather than otherwise. OP, MY CORRECTIVE REMEDY FOR YOU IS - you need to put your foot down a lot more; more talking with your wife to make her see reason and more importantly, pray that God touches her (if you have a genuine relationship with God) IT IS WELL!! 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 1:02am On Jan 04, 2017 |
maysimsimple: You have become so angry, you cannot see the error in your thinking. I will take not take panadol for your headache. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by DrogoG(m): 1:11am On Jan 04, 2017 |
nairamaniac: Any woman (whether beautiful or ugly or rich or poor) who really loves you, won't stress you out to buy her Gucci bag or diamond ring. That's a fact! Any woman who wants to live large on your money with total disregard for your feelings, doesn't love you! If you toast a woman you hope to marry with money, she'll love the money first and then "love" you only for spending a lot on her. I'm sure that's not the kind of love you want in your marriage If you meet a woman you hope to have a long relationship with, spend far less in the beginning and focus more in knowing each other. You can spend on her the way you want only after you're sure she really loves you and she's the one. Remember, a woman who would still love you without money, does not need money to know or love you. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 3:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Xaddy:i used to be the financial secretary of the 'I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THUNDER WILL FIRE YOU' CREW, BUT NOW OUR GROUP DON DISBAND, ABEG FORM STILL REMAIN FOR THAT UNA IDGAF CREW? I WAN JOIN.
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:09am On Jan 04, 2017 |
overcomer123:You the cause of your problem, you gave a woman an inch she wants a mile. It time to adjust. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
daretodiffer:What! Is this cknkng from you? |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:17am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Joavid:Retired olosho on the street! Marriage drunk girls |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:19am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Bizibi:end that sh!t right away! All those pocked sucking demons |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:21am On Jan 04, 2017 |
ebby9z:do t be quick to say that! He who wears the shoes knows where it pinches |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Sunnypar(m): 3:30am On Jan 04, 2017 |
eRex:This worked for an uncle of mine infact the woman scrutinises everything he buys in the house 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by bayelsaowei(m): 5:30am On Jan 04, 2017 |
nwaanambra1:you no serious at all... |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ogawisdom(m): 6:43am On Jan 04, 2017 |
overcomer123: U can only reset this if she kws hw had it is to earn money, let her work |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Reptyle(m): 8:19am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Bring her back into the family financial planning...but this time have a real discussion. Draw up a financial plan and discuss the details with her. I am sure if she is made aware of how you intend to spread the money to ensure you get by as a family while also planning for the future, you will get her buy in. Secondly, if she has a job, please insist that she contributes her quota to the common purse both in the recurrent and capital expenditure aspect and in the "saving for a rainy day" also. That sense of inclusiveness could go a long way in forcing her back to reality and curbing her "wastefulness". It doesn't look to me like your wife is a bad woman. She's probably still caught up in the euphoria of a whirlwind period of courtship and been married to an upwardly mobile young man. Do not give up on her and avoid acting from a position of frustration and anger at her current behaviour. She is still the woman you fell in love with and married. What you saw is still in her. See it as your duty to ensure you add value to her by helping her overcome her excesses and you will be the better for it. Also realise that you are also not perfect so open up yourself up to improvement. A good marriage is so because a lot of work went into it. Roll up your sleeves and get to work bringing out the best in your wife. Take charge of your home! 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by adconline(m): 9:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Give her some financial responsibilities like paying cable bills, Gas and electrical bills. You should not solely take on the while responsibility to yourself. That's why men die before women. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by KAYD007(m): 9:25am On Jan 04, 2017 |
[quote author=maysimsimple post=52503100][/quote] my guy, ignore that lady! |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by maysimsimple(m): 9:53am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Already done that bro... She's reasoning irrationally, from her comments I'll know bird of same feathers... U know d rest bro.. Panadol for my headache. Imagine, when am not d op.... te author=KAYD007 post=52515998] my guy, ignore that lady![/quote] |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by sherozy(m): 9:57am On Jan 04, 2017 |
bro try get her pregnant. then she would know how it feels to care for one another. she will have a good spending habbit. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by vislabraye(m): 10:31am On Jan 04, 2017 |
overcomer123: Is that how she spends the money she WORKS for ? If she spends her hard earned money the way she wishes, that shouldn't be a problem. But if it's only your money spends like something out of fashion, then something is wrong with her. . Allow her to spend the money she works for and work on a strict budget with her. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by olushowunm(m): 10:40am On Jan 04, 2017 |
overcomer123:Oga Op.. First thing to do in this case is to call her and discuss what you both want to spend per month. After fixing it, let her know she will be contributing 40% of the money. So by first day of the month you will give her your own part. Let her spend it the way she wants. Even on the budget, you can draw money for fuel for car and generator. So this way you will know your wife is a better manager of resources. If your mmm story is working, then stick to this plan I advised you because it's what I calls "Structural Adjustment Program"... 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by our9ja: 11:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
My Broda move ahead oh or in fact change formation.either 442 or 343 which corently chelsea formation either act soon because you wont enjoy what is called Marriage ... But if the money don't be stingy oh come dey form akagom for her let her spend it |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by GodsLastBorn: 12:20pm On Jan 04, 2017 |
DonaTee:This is one of the reasons I find marriage appalling, to find someone on same or even higher logical reasoning so that we can avoid all these unnecessary drama. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by GodsLastBorn: 1:03pm On Jan 04, 2017 |
Genea:you and coldfeet are very funny based on naivety. Why would a loaded guy come here, an online forum to seek such nonsense as " letting the females know he's loaded"? And the worse part is that you even encouraged coldfeet smh. In similar discourse pls you can try not to comment if what you want to post makes no sense or helps the op, thanks. @Op You are the architect of your problem, Never ever let your partner know how much you have, salary until she proves herself and even after she proved herself you still don't let her know about 50 or 40% of your financial status. This advice have saved a lot of wise men. That's what saved an uncle of mine after his wife divorced him and he's grateful to God that he did so and more but that's a story for another day. You guys are newly married and you're supposed to have a separate account (set up a trustfund)where you are to be saving money for your future children's education to avoid hbp of how to pay schools fees in future and to ensure they get good education and another account where you can save up money for rainy days, unforseen circumstances, projects and more. Life is all about good plans and execution so it really drives me crazy that your wife is doing this, it pisses me off that in such economic situation that a human being with brains will be lavishing anothers savings ( you gave her the right to do so) based on the excuse that she's a wife?! Not that she's Babangida's or Abacha's daughter. This has to stop and it depends on you, you better man up and be ready for the temptations she's going to throw at you, nagging, silent treatment, emotional blackmail and more but but never let her manipulate you and use wisdom, don't engage her but study her. Her personality will determine how far you will have to go before she learns because now its no more a discussion issue, sometimes women are like children. Some kids, you talk to them and the understand and follow the instructions while some other kids you have to use action to a certain degree before the understand you. Sorry to say this, your wife doesn't respect you or your opinion and getting it back will take some sacrifice which I don't think you're ready to do from your mindset. Find your càhónes/balls before you completely loose it. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Genea(f): 1:46pm On Jan 04, 2017 |
GodsLastBorn:hullo!! Don't quote me again... Tnx |
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