maysimsimple:
Yes miss, at d bolded. That's what I made it look like. I can't stop thanking God I did that, n He showed me her true colour. I changed my line, she tried getting thru to me after 5 months, but couldn't, she call a friend of mine to know if she can get thru to me. This said friend of mine asked her did u regret packing out of ur matrimonial home for no just cause, yes I regretted it was her response. So y did u pack out? Her answer will shock u..... She answered I want to use her do Ogun owo. Do u understand Yoruba?

Genea:
Eeeeehya, I'm still single, can't relate

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

klassic:
Currently thanking God. Cos I thought my wife had issues with spending cash I nor sabi say God use am bless me. If I give her 200k this month, she Will only spend on basics and manage the weekly cash I drop. Six months time when I need emergency cash, that money fit done reach 250-300k for me to borrow first cos she nor dey even spend the salaries I pay her. No unnecessary spending and I saw this as not being classy or trendy. As she will rather make her dress than buy and I love her to spend the money, buy some trendy outfit, some good stuff but one na lie. She go rather make couples dress for two and keep the change than buy same for some thousands. Anytime I give her cash, na me come even dey spend am again cos she will save it all over the house. I never really valued it until now.

konjishild:

lol single ko,searching ni

Joe4lv:
My brother,I must say is always like that with women but your wife's own is much though. You didn't make mistakes in lavishing some stuffs on her during courtship but you seem not to have given her the idea that you are broke before and so she thinks your money grows like tree.

Once in a while,give a woman an idea that you're broke and watch her reaction. It will give you a better picture of her. She likes good things probably but you should get your wife a mentor. Either a woman in your church or someone she respects so much either in her office or neighborhood.

Don't take it to the point of one day,hitting her as I know those stuffs she is doing will make you look less of a man but hang on and and get a woman figure to help out.

Lastly,make her contribute in getting some things in the house so you don't kill yourself as a man. She is not there to just cook,give birth and be good in the other room but to also support you financially.

maysimsimple:
I never bothered to go thru ur profile or comments on other thread. But, with this ur last Comment have to check out ur comments. U are having a misconception about this person here. I understand u be talking as a lady, fair enough. Their was no hardship, I attend celestial n I always pray to God anyday, the thought of harming someone so I can get rich, d good lord should take my life. From ur comments u don't stay in 9ja. It's a cold world ma'am. D risk, d pain n d sacrifice that I gave into my marriage.. Uhmmmm

idupaul:
This is the type of girl that goes to a shop to ask if they have peak milk from holland

cutetj:
whereas she can't spend her own money to buy peak from Nigeria not to talk of the one from Holland

tijayjay:
Seriously, i have dated a lady that behaved exactly like your wife, once she discovered any money with me, the next thought or idea that will come from her is to spend the money, even if i protest that the money should be save or put to investment, she rather prefer the money being spend on buying flashy items such as expensive cloths or items.
But amazingly, when she earned her own money, she will never spend it she will rather prefer to save it and lavish my own money, and when you go broke and asked her for money she will never agreed that she have, i had to called off the relationship so i will not die young.
On several occasion i had to stamped my authority as man and it will lead to quarrel as she is also authoritative.
My advise to you since you are already married, talking will not help, ladies dont listen to talks, they prefer action, stamped your authority, talk less and act more, stop given her money, give her money for only items you approved of, and if she add up her money fine, but if she spend lavishly without your approval punish her and let her know the reason, never raised your hand on her, the punishment here is a coded one, either u cut down her next allowance or when she ask for fund let her know you are broke.

HarveySpecter1:


Why are you so mean to that guy?

Dont forget that you are in your late 20s and can't seem to have any direction in your relationship. Btw, you can't handle an ordinary relationship so how can advice a married person?

People living in glass buildings shouldn't be throwing stones.

DrogoG:


You see where I marked bold? That's the root of her behavior.

Most common mistakes some men make is that they use money to get a woman they want to marry. You can use money to get a woman for one night stand but NOT the one you hope to marry!

When you use money to get a woman, you may not know if the woman is in the relationship for the money or not! And some women hardly go backwards in lifestyle. When you start spending a lot of money on her from the very beginning, that's the life style she will continue expecting in the relationship. When you stop spending, problem starts.

Even if you're a billionaire NEVER start a relationship expensively if you really want a woman who will love you for who you're and not for the material stuff she stands to gain from you. Let the woman know the real you not your money.

Alondra:
This is what happens when you go extra miles to impress a lady during courtship. Its best to let your fiancée/ fiancé know your financial capability. Rushing into marriage is bad too, you never know some flaws in your partner.

Since you are married you can only handle this situation with patience and maturity. My advice is.. Cut down the allowance you give to her. You are the man so you have to act like one. Even when she complains tell her its all you could afford. But never spend what is left of the reduced allowance. Safe it.

Do this for some months, When the saved money is sufficient to get her something valuable that you know she needs... Get it for her with the money. Let her know it was bought from the money you saved.

She will be sober and see things from your angel. I.e the advantage of saving.

Marriage is an institution which has its wheels on maturity, patience and wisdom. You don't take drastic actions but correct with love.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

kjhova:
@OP,

Hardly is there a marriage anywhere on planet Earth where approach to financials is not a major issue in the early period if not all through the lifetime of the marriage. There is also no one-size-fits-all solution to it wether you join accounts, hide accounts or make her privy to your financial details.

You guys will grind each other out with time and I hope it will be for the better. Your wife may not necessarily be a spendsthrift as your post suggests. Maybe you guys just defer in spending preferences e.g. she wants to have the Samsung 50" TV of N220K while doing DSTV Access bouquet sub of N2000/month for Africa Magic while you would rather have an LG 32" TV of N90K while doing Premium bouquet of N14K/month for full EPL/Liga BBVA. You see her preferences as frivolous while she considers you as same. Who is right?

Like another poster said earlier, men are critical while women tend to be emotional. Background also matters. You guys can only talk about it and hopefully find your way round it. No two families will ever chat the same part.

BTW, all these guys telling you to be the man and put your foot DOWN...disregard them, they are the one's who more likely grovel before their wives in bed by 2am in the morning.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

Mobsync:


I clicked on your profile and I saw all the topics you created regarding your wife. You even almost canceled the wedding. Her problem started before now and with the way things are, would lead to divorce. I suggest you two visit a counselor.