I met this 22 years old girl 1 year ago. We both got along and decided to settle down together.when we met she told me her past and one of the thing she told me about her past is she had a baby when she was 15years. She asked me if my family will allow me to marry her I said that should be my decision.i went ahead to Introduced her to my family which all of them accepted her.but recently my younger brother finds out she once gave birth,he then went ahead to tell my family about it. and they have called the family meeting which I was asked to appear on Sunday.my problem here is I love her so much and we are planning to settle down together this year and my family will want to stop me from marrying her.most her things her in my house. Am kinda confused I don't know Wat to do. Am going through some emotional pains rite now. I don't know if I should tell her, any time she calls my heart beat. Please I need ur advice..

Should we marry her for you?

Put your self in your parent's shoes, would you allow your child who has had a child before??Think very hard before answering the question.

I understand your fears OP. But the truth is if you really love her, then you should put your foot down. You are the one who's going to live with her, not your family.

The only downside is your family might result to mistreating her which can cause friction in your home.

But from your write up it seems you are still very young. Am I wrong?

So na your family they control you abi? You cannot make decision on your own regardless of other people's opinions be it family or other wise? You are not mature enough and you say you want to marry?

Its best to marry into a family where u are wanted. I thought love conquers all?

Nma27:
Its best to marry into a family where u are wanted. I thought love conquers all?

Love in relationships is the absence of common sense.



It doesn't conquer anything.




@Op.


I personally can't marry a single mom and I won't allow my daughter to marry a single dad. I have my reasons for that but if you are sure that the woman is a good woman, a great marriage material that will not change to something else in the long then marry her.

You will parents will start to love her soon if she has good character but if you're not sure then I suggest you let go because marrying her against your parents wish means nobody will stand by you when she starts showing you her real color.

BleSSedMee:
I understand your fears OP. But the truth is if you really love her, then you should put your foot down. You are the one who's going to live with her, not your family.

The only downside is your family might result to mistreating her which can cause friction in your home.

But from your write up it seems you are still very young. Am I wrong?

Kenshinmunac:
So na your family they control you abi? You cannot make decision on your own regardless of other people's opinions be it family or other wise? You are not mature enough and you say you want to marry?

you guys are advising him against his family/parents right? smh

it's his life tho, but future complications await him if he continues that relationship


#positivevibes

The first mistake is letting this kinda of news to be discovered. You are supposed to call whoever is closest to you between your dad and mom and explain the situation to him/her. This would have doused the tension by the time you present her to the whole family.


Young man, you have to watch before you leap...a girl got pregnant and gave birth at 15...she wasn't raped, I presume, her upbringing is what you should carefully examine.

Whether your family approve or not, the decision is strictly yours. But remember, its a decision that could make or mar your present and future, you must consider all sides of the coin.

May God help you.

Epositive:



you guys are advising him against his family/parents right? smh

it's his life tho, but future complications await him if he continues that relationship


#positivevibes

I want to believe you read my second paragraph.

It's in your hands.

BleSSedMee:


I want to believe you read my second paragraph.

so contradicting!!! .

Hmmmm....why are you even scared?....you don't know why they called you to appear on Sunday,you're already shaking like a jellyfish.....tell them what you want if they try to go against your relationship.....shikena.....having a baby is not a disease tho...

Epositive:



you guys are advising him against his family/parents right? smh

it's his life tho, but future complications await him if he continues that relationship


#positivevibes

What about people who has no family?

Your decision to make...choose your fate

It's easier for you to stand your ground and marry the lady, your family won't stop loving you but the girl... She go hear wehnnnnn, pls just let her go. God will give you another girl ehn

Epositive:


so contradicting!!! .

It's not my dear. It will help him weigh his options I think. I might be wrong though.

It's a dicey one you know.

If You Both Are Convinced In Yourselves! Nothing. I repeat, NO THING can stop you from being ONE! It is just a matter of firm determination. And stronger will from You Both!
Then, comes the another part: where not just you two are involved, but families are also involved.
So, better idea will be, to get a few members in your favour. and she should also do the same.
Once U have done it, then ask them, how you should go ahead for it? Yes, leave it onto them.

let her go. no need of you subjecting her to wahala from your family. family support is very important in marriage.

Kenshinmunac:


What about people who has no family?

that's a different issue entirely.... even without family, they still have people they call family... be it close friends or guardians...

bottom line is when you think, you think family also(it's very important) ... micheal j fox once said;

"family is not an important thing, it's everything"


#positivevibes

Kondomatic:
Love in relationships is the absence of common sense.



It doesn't conquer anything.




@Op.


I personally can't marry a single mom and I won't allow my daughter to marry a single dad. I have my reasons for that but if you are sure that the woman is a good woman, a great marriage material that will not change to something else in the long then marry her.

You will parents will start to love her soon if she has good character but if you're not sure then I suggest you let go because marrying her against your parents wish means nobody will stand by you when she starts showing you her real color.

Nice

What is the gender of the girl's child ?

Let your family understand that you love her and there's nothing wrong with being a single mum. If you eventually go ahead and marry, have it at back of your mind that your family might want to frustrate her. If you know that you will not be able to stand up for her and protect her against your family, kindly let her go.

Nzj

Try to convince them.




If you can't, Listen to your parents.

Hmmmmmm, I jst pity d gal, if she is nt needed in dat family, she kindly walk away, some families cn fight u both physically and spiritually even after marriage, even though ur hubby luvs u. If trouble start later, na she go hear am nt d man

Ok.

She's your choice and your heart knows that. She's been polite with you by telling you the truth that she had a child and if your parents will accept her. You won't be the first to marry a single mum neither will you be the last. Marry for love as it sees beyond that. Though your parent might kick against it but this is certainly the best time you fight for what you want. Cos the choice you make now will live with you forever. Cheers

kunlesufyan:
Put your self in your parent's shoes, would you allow your child who has had a child before??Think very hard before answering the question.

Please sir, what's wrong with having a child before.....Is it a disease....It's unfortunate that she gave birth early but that doesn't make her any less human....This is not even supposed to be an issue talkless of having to attend a family meeting over it

Sebi you talk say na your decision. Biko decide.