₦airaland Forum

BaesDiary:
VegetableSoupIsBae, abi?
I hope you don't find yourself in that situation ooooo

Simple truth you can not say, mtcheeeew see what it had cost you
wetin concern me sef

@op I understand ur situation a call of nature person no fit form boss 4 it, mine was very annoying not even poo but serious stomach purging2 make matters worst I boarded a public trans a journey of 2hrs - 3hrs men dat day was hell 4 me but I tnk God d passengers was helpful once d driver wan high they cum 2 my defense d bus stop 4 me 3times b4 I reach park.. cnt 4get dat day.

I pity the day monkey will go market and not return, I've had issues with one of those things before. Not sure if it was gala now. Long time ago.

buygala:
This is why I always eat only Gala before going on any date

Gala is loyal....it will never put me to shame


BUY GALA....BUY PEACE

One girl said she remembers the day a gala seller put his hand through the window to knock her head for changing her mind about buying the gala.. Lol... Maybe the guy don run tire

haahahhahahahaaha funny but doesnt seem real sha

You've made my Sunday

Lol
Fiction

BaesDiary:
There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom's shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn't really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.

So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend's wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend's place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.

While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect  phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn't serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.


Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend's house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.

By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend's place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo. I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like 'kuku kill me now'.

Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won't stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.

"But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee," he said. "The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor's flat since last week."

I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.

Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn't his fault, I  blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/heres-how-plate-of-vegetable-soup-can.html#more

hmmn..... So no FIN Sis has made a comment so far? Kontunu

Hahaha... Next time u go talk true to avoid stories that touch!!!

Lmfao

BaesDiary:
There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom's shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn't really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.

So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend's wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend's place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.

While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect  phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn't serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.


Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend's house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.

By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend's place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo . I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like 'kuku kill me now'.

Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won't stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.

"But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee," he said. "The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor's flat since last week."

I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.

Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn't his fault, I  blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/heres-how-plate-of-vegetable-soup-can.html#more

Hian......who does dt!

Gye, u just won urself d "nairaland prize 4 fiction"
Collect ur prize at the registry. Ask after a certain Mr. Lalasticlala!

Buhahahaha, can't stop laughing ooo, girl ur a good narrator, pls start writing books ooo,but d guy sef nawa, shey we cannot play with you again...
Just give him time, if he really likes u, he'd still come around, else it myt b a sign dat his nt real. He myt b one of dis forming guys.

BaesDiary:
There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom's shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn't really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.

So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend's wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend's place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.

While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect  phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn't serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.


Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend's house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.

By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend's place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo. I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like 'kuku kill me now'.

Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won't stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.

"But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee," he said. "The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor's flat since last week."

I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.

Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn't his fault, I  blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/heres-how-plate-of-vegetable-soup-can.html#more

I think you should ve joined dem packing the poo,possibly take the whole work from them and ask the friend to only guide you because he knows his environment bera. and you should have been like I'm sorry,I didn't initially have the mind to poo as i was only trying to pee but....
If It were me and you did those I said, I wud ignore the ugly incident and still carry on with you as the normal

This post is from female in Nigeria (FIN)

BaesDiary:
I blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.

You blame the wrong stuff. Blame your lie about whether it was poo or pee!

BaesDiary:
There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom's shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn't really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.

So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend's wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend's place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.

While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect  phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn't serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.


Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend's house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.

By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend's place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo. I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like 'kuku kill me now'.

Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won't stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.

"But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee," he said. "The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor's flat since last week."

I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.

Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn't his fault, I  blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/heres-how-plate-of-vegetable-soup-can.html#more

Good one. You have a bright future in creative writing.

LeView1:
To those saying that the guy acted immature then you are some weird people! God forbid bad things but if I was in that situation, I would never want to see that guy again. If I was the man, I'd never see her again! He picked up her pooo omg!!!! This is too embarrassing to be real.

thanks so much for your reply... How can she lie first of all and den embarrass him in his friends house.. Den all of a sudden, some dumbfvck is saying he acted immature.. They don't know that d story will go round his friends... Infact dey will ask him where he picked up that girl from... If they still were together and he introduced her to his friends,they would know dat she was d one who messed up herself. So it would do both of them good since dey cut ties

buygala:
This is why I always eat only Gala before going on any date

Gala is loyal....it will never put me to shame


BUY GALA....BUY PEACE

Oga, have you paid for the advert. Anyway, I no kuku like gala. Continue to advertise from today till tomorrow.

BaesDiary:
There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom's shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn't really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.

So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend's wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend's place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.

While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect  phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn't serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.


Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend's house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.

By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend's place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo. I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like 'kuku kill me now'.

Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won't stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.

"But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee," he said. "The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor's flat since last week."

I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.

Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn't his fault, I  blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/heres-how-plate-of-vegetable-soup-can.html#more

Dat guy is not serious. Forget him. Can't one be urinating and feels like pooing. Plz don't blame ursef. D guy is a hit and run guy. Move on with ur life. Imagine fake lifestyle even u too. R u not human. Plz nxt time tell d truth and free ursef. It pays more. Don't lead a fake life or live in a borrowed robe.

Saying the truth always helps.

What really pains is the lie,the call of nature is phenomenon nobody is too big to answer it when its calls at anytime.but nonetheless if truely the guy wants you that should not discourage him from moving out with or stop buying recharge cards from your mum.
Find ways to solemly apologise for your irrational behaviour or you a close friend of his to apologise on your behalf.pls never repeat such be plain with people and be honest when its comes to words.
If possible give him a surprise gift or any kind of things that spike up friendship.......best of luck cheersss

buygala:
This is why I always eat only Gala before going on any date

Gala is loyal....it will never put me to shame


BUY GALA....BUY PEACE

Guess you must have been going for dateS n you never see your mind

Kwantinue

Lmao!!!!! Its all kul....not ur fault, its all nature

mclaaro:
This post is from female in Nigeria (FIN)

I see you Sis.....I have been wondering o

DanXplore:
Your poop defied gravity because its relative density was less than one. Next time, find a stick or any object to break the poop into smaller particles then flush. This will solve the problem.

How are you sure the poo will be soluble in water ?.

If my analysis were correct such poo will leave residue .

Vhicthorade:
But shey you no get hand ni, you poo you pack by yourself. No story

Lol! My though exactly. Op you didn't try o. You don't do well under pressure, I guess. No one can fault what happened to you. It's quite sad and embarrassing...where I fault you is on your inaction when shit hit the fan. You didn't call for a mop and bucket, at least pack your own shit. Even if they wanted to assist. You should've insisted on cleaning that bathroom on your own. Watching someone clean up such mess for you should even embarrass you more than a purge which could happen to anyone

I will comment even though every reasonable person knows that this is never a real life story. The entire episode is irreconcileable.

But @Op, you tried by cooking up a story like this to keep nairaland busy since there is no more latest happenings to make headlines and front page on N/L.

Don't ever try to prove that this is a true story before I would bombard you with questions that might expose your 'nyansh'.

You are very creative. I think I like you for being that creative.

Electronzeez:
How are you sure the poo will be soluble in water ?.

If my analysis were correct such poo will leave residue .

Reducing the particle size will not make it soluble. It will only improve its flow properties

Funny shit got me lmao....../
What woulda happened if yu had beans??

Idydarling:
that's how I react to vegetable soup too, I hardly eat it

a calabar chic that doesn't eat vegetable soup, is that one a calabarian?

charlsecy:
You blame the wrong stuff. Blame your lie about whether it was poo or pee!

Lol. At that point, I guess she was too pressed for such questions. If she had said shit, how 're u sure she wouldn't 've pooed on herself before they got to the neighbor's flat? This is purge we are talking about...