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My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by jaxxy(m): 9:44pm On Apr 30, 2017
adam500hr:


I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

U problem is complex bt yet simple. U guys just need a frank talk about ur relationship and then marriage. Relationship 1st then marriage 2nd.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by technicallyrich(m): 9:44pm On Apr 30, 2017
You are a big fool for been rich according to you and allow a woman have a say in your house.if I was the one I will use koboko and wipe her arse and then pursue her out of my home.not Even for cheating but for been stuborn.make she go call police na money e. Go chop.
Just incase you don't know.women. Dont have say when you are rich
.u dey Bleep up

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by messiedidylakes(f): 9:44pm On Apr 30, 2017
Acidosis:
This thing always happen when women marry money.

Your wife married your money, not you. You were only there as a portfolio; fact is the wedding was between your wife and your money. Like a teller, your main duty is to dispense cash.

It is highly unreasonable for one who has neither managed any reasonable business, nor make profit from an existing shop that cost over N2m to go further to request for a whooping N2m on rent.

I sha hope you harvest money from a tree, else you will soon become broke.

I'd advise you to invest as much as possible on your immediate family. I'm sure someone needs your assistance. Establish a sibling now that you can, they will support you later in life.

I don't know your monetary worth, but please don't go 'forming' a made careless spender. N2m is still a huge money in the current day Nigeria. That's the average yearly earning of a Banker in UBA. Imagine setting ablaze a banker's yearly salary because of an unreasonable spouse!

An average Nigerian based Professor would need to work tirelessly for 4 months to earn that.. Be wise now that your sanity has not been ruined.

That one yeyebrity opened a shop for a slay queen doesn't mean you should do same. Like their marriages, we all know those shops don't stay 3 years. Its all meant to oppress their followers on Instagram.

The aim of business is to make money and if and when your wife proves to be unreasonable with finance, get her to sit indoors or get her trained somewhere.


I've decided to ignore allegations regarding her cheating tendencies.. I believe you're man enough to handle that aspect.


You said my mind 100%

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by UncleJudax(m): 9:45pm On Apr 30, 2017
modelmike7:
Communication is the key.
Sometimes the door is welded, not locked.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by henryhemon(m): 9:46pm On Apr 30, 2017
sisisioge:
Well well well...make una take am easy biko.

I think she did something too or wanted to...just leave it be without plying too hard. What you don't know won't kill you. It is welly o.

What's this one saying??

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by shumuel(m): 9:48pm On Apr 30, 2017
adam500hr:


Prognose, u dey pokenose, it can happen to you too, nobody badder dan, nobody holy pass when it comes to woman matter. Without all these yeye thing with my woman, aswear my family too sweet. He dey pain me sha, u nor go understand though.


Have read your story, have seen the good advises rendered to you, and i am here to add to it because i feel your pain.

First of all; don't, no matter what rush into marriage, especially if you know you don't really love the person.

Now, from what you have said, the business wasn't succeeding, i am sure that might also be the reason why your wife wants to change location, she is the one handling the business, so i believe she would know better, she probably made the decision for the progress of the business, am sure she had done some research, you should had been calm and reason with her; see things through her own eye, and give her the money if you can afford it but if you couldn't you should had explained that to her calmly instead of rubbing her failure on her face by pointing it out that the business hadn't succeed yet, anyways i understand, N2million isn't childs play, and it probably made you mad knowing you'll have to cough out such an amount again but you should had taken it easy with her, women are very emotional creatures, and one thing i would like you to know is; when someone sets their mind on something(A goal) and feels it so real, if they don't achieve it it would make them surfucate, and this is very common with women, so... In order to stay alive, they find every means posible to get it done, and yes even if it means cheating.

Well, i'll advice you sit her down, talk things through and if you can afford the new rent she had demanded, please give it to her or assist her to secure the loan but please only use properties that wont affect you or the family later, incase she was unable to pay back.

Now for the ''If'' she had cheated part, look brother i'll tell you clean clear, there isn't any lady out there that wont or isn't cheating, so forget it and let it go, yes i know it hurts but let me ask you; was she a Virgin when you met her, were you yourself a virgin when you both met ? So if the answer is No why be bothered about she cheating now, i know it might sound stupid to you but just think it through.

All i want for you is to keep your marriage, and don't allow people who don't know your wife insult her, incase you don't know you are now one and if she is insulted you are also insulted. And as for she being quick to jump into conclusions, come brother we all know divorce is the new trend, married today, divorce tomorrow, i guess thats why she has always been insecured, just let it go, forgive her, support her and love her because either you like it or not, she is your wife.

Don't let third parties come in between you both.

Have a nice life, regards to your wife

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by isnovic(m): 9:51pm On Apr 30, 2017
OP, though it is obvious your wife is cheating on you, what is not known to her is the fact that, you do not know to what extent.

What is sure is that, she knows she has goofed big time and the details will make you convulse.

For her to already settle her mind to quite easing off means the shit is really big and you will do well not to know the details.

However, you are to provide the atmosphere for her to come clean. If it is something you can let go, then forgive but do not forget.

If it is something you feel will always be in between both of you due to the graveness of the betrayal then ease her without disgrace for God

frowns at it.



Remember, he who is without sin should cast the first stone.

God help you deal with this as it is can be really energy sapping.

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Originalsly: 9:52pm On Apr 30, 2017
I would say your wife is cheating... has been cheating.. and 90% believes you have evidence. Even the suspicions you have... don't ever bring it up...let her remain in the dark. A few nights stay out late.. very late. ...never make an excuse.. give her the cold shoulder. Never say what would happen to the children... tell her she should've known that before she began gallivanting outside the marriage.Part of the money can very well be to pay someone blackmailing her... that's why the desperation.. maybe someone made a video...just saying.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by CHARLOE(m): 9:52pm On Apr 30, 2017
favoured78:
I am not siding her.....but your last statement really got me there "I can't stand a cheating wife"
But it is a known fact that men cheat for no reason as against yours that is cheating for 2 million naira......

If you are having your kids at mind and your pride as a man as you can't stand a wife who is cheating for an available 2 million then you will have to play the role of a fool to save your marriage.......this must always be done by either of the partner in all marriages, ....listen, let me put it plainly to you that you will be giving up your marriage, your respect, reputation, respect from your kids etc for just 2 million. .......is that what you really proposed to do at the altar, is that what you set your mind to as you chose to join the cliché of the married brothers who said for better for worse .........this is not even close to worst and you two are thinking of parting ways......where foes your thinking as a man, pride as a man.......and the extra number 7th sense men claim to have that makes them see themselves superior to women when you are already chickened out by this test....if you were to be in her shoes, I doubt if you will behave better

Women take more shit than this which your are complaning of .....and you men including myself will bear witness to this......we cheat for stupid reasons but most women cheat for reasons quite tangible but not justifiable. ....so , Married man......it is a temptation you should overcome.....talk things with your wife ooo ......to me, your story is incomplete. .....something is really lacking, engage in meaningful conversation......and your bond will be better.


Divorce for such a thing is not worth . Use WISDOM.[color=#990000][/color]
Stupid talk frm a pussy nigga! Guy how old are u?

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Luvdk(f): 9:53pm On Apr 30, 2017
wristbangle:


Your mate dey buy private jet for their husband too cool
God forbid I shud date poor men...
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Jesusgirl92(f): 9:53pm On Apr 30, 2017
Omotayor123:

I addressed that read my post well. She must have said those hurtful words because she feels disappointed. Most women do.

what Shame could be worse than leaving your marriage people will definitely want to know what happen. And can Even Cook up stories.
she was just hurt about how her husband could think worse of her and can't take it.

seriously, I can feel her pain.
The husband should man up and apologize. No marriage is perfect.
And she didn't try to defend herself even a lil when he accused her of infidelity?? Nah... I think she's guilty as charged..... Op, if she's willing to change and make things work, please forgive her..... And the 2 million naira I so do not support giving in to her demand especially as she has nothing to show for the first one you gave her.... I pray God gives you wisdom to handle this situation the best way possible.... I really feel for your kids.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 9:54pm On Apr 30, 2017
klexycole:

This is the root of the problem. Very pathetic! embarassed
so courtship is the way to avoid marital problems abi? yinmu forget courtship is nothing but nonsense

1 Like

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by SheIsElle(f): 9:54pm On Apr 30, 2017
...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Ericsdm55(m): 9:56pm On Apr 30, 2017
Somebody mentioned sth like didn't you people courts and for how long? Believe me I av come to understand that you cannot know you partner except he/she wants you to. My wife hardly talk not to talk of shouting at me at the time were still courting. But now that she's married, she yelled at any slightest provocation. The moment she is not happy or satisfy with any issue at home, she gets out of hands; making gesture with her hands in a very disrespectful manner, shouting at me at the same time.We once had an issue before our marriage and was happy the way we calmly resolved it. I wouldn't say that today. However, we live happily and I have learnt to tolerant her behavior. Most atimes when she sees how matured I often handle her disrespectful behaviors, she regretfully apologized. Such is married; for better for worst. I advised you to talk over this whole issue calmly and maturely by first apologizinf for calling her names and you may be surprise how easier it may turnout. Divorce is never a good option, even if you are on your right. Pray over the issue, call her explain why you didn't give her the money at the time she requested it, give her the assurance that you will give the money. You will notice she starts calming down and focusing more on you, then tactfully bring up the issue. Dialogue is very important in marriage. Wish you well.

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Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by henryhemon(m): 9:57pm On Apr 30, 2017
adam500hr:


I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

I blame you for going on with your parents advise now who is feeling the pang? You. However e don happen,the way forward brother it's clear she doesn't love you and no matter what you do once a woman is fed up she is fed up.....allow her go please,You will be be faced with more pains and difficulties if she stays put and will further exploit you. Just do it quietly if it's broken trust,it wouldn't be same again ever.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Origin(f): 9:58pm On Apr 30, 2017
That woman is not cheating. Zero evidence except from your overactive imagination.

Every woman threatens her husband or boyfriend with " I know what to do to get the money o". We also know where your mind will go once we say it. grin


She also knows if you start the cheating allegation. No hope again. All of you will vote for chasing the woman out. Even when you have zero evidence.


By the way do BJs costs N2m. Na solid 2 months retreat be N2m based on logistics (movies). She gave you a lie that you can easily forgive. Please see a marriage councillor before you use over imagination to ruin your marriage because of a defiant wife.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by freshbear(m): 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
VeniJu:

My dear adam500hr, i know how such issues are. I know the psychological effects of such marital problems. However, all you need now is a concrete evidence before any decision is taken by you. I have handled such issues for over 4 people. Even on this platform.
Contact me via whatsapp 08129078105.. Let's get some proof if she's cheating or not.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Handsomecutepie: 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
favoured78:
I am not siding her.....but your last statement really got me there "I can't stand a cheating wife"
But it is a known fact that men cheat for no reason as against yours that is cheating for 2 million naira......

If you are having your kids at mind and your pride as a man as you can't stand a wife who is cheating for an available 2 million then you will have to play the role of a fool to save your marriage.......this must always be done by either of the partner in all marriages, ....listen, let me put it plainly to you that you will be giving up your marriage, your respect, reputation, respect from your kids etc for just 2 million. .......is that what you really proposed to do at the altar, is that what you set your mind to as you chose to join the cliché of the married brothers who said for better for worse .........this is not even close to worst and you two are thinking of parting ways......where foes your thinking as a man, pride as a man.......and the extra number 7th sense men claim to have that makes them see themselves superior to women when you are already chickened out by this test....if you were to be in her shoes, I doubt if you will behave better

Women take more shit than this which your are complaning of .....and you men including myself will bear witness to this......we cheat for stupid reasons but most women cheat for reasons quite tangible but not justifiable. ....so , Married man......it is a temptation you should overcome.....talk things with your wife ooo ......to me, your story is incomplete. .....something is really lacking, engage in meaningful conversation......and your bond will be better.


Divorce for such a thing is not worth . Use WISDOM.

Condemn the fact she is messing up her marriage first or keep your freaking advice to yourself.

Get the Bleep out of here you lazy ass duncebag. It pains me to see these lazy ass called ladies with sense of entitlement advising an hardworking young men to save their marriages when their fellow baggages called wives are nothing but parasites.

These fool(hoes) are over IG shouting domestic violence against women should stop while encouraging their fellow hoes to carry on cheating(Indirectly).

What marriage is he saving when it is obvious that the hoe in question will never be satisfied?

It baffles me to see these good-for-nothing and economic parasite called 21st century ladies bringing children into their stupidity. Why can she be the one to worry about the children?

Don't allow these hoes to hold you in ransom with your children. If you die tomorrow or remain poor, the woman ll dump your ass and take the children along and the funny thing is that the children ll move on without looking back until they attain age of 18 and above...These children ll survive while your life is forever fuckedd.

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by adontcare(f): 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.
. Now I see where ur problems started from. Ingrates are d worst people to live with. Just stand ur ground about d money thing. Apologise for calling her a hoe. If she still insist of leaving, let her go. Give her some space to rethink. She will call u to apologise. If not let her be. She is not suppose to be a waster but to be a helper.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by wristbangle: 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
Luvdk:
God forbid I shud date poor men...


Be careful for what you wish for dear. If you and your husband are financially strong, what stops both of you from exchanging expensive gifts?

Besides, I hope you learning from this thread. What makes marriage successful is the bond between husband and wife. It all starts from relationship.

Nice dp by the way wink

1 Like

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
angelTI:
Eleyi gidi gan o
is that all you have to say
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
angelTI:
Eleyi gidi gan o

is that all you have to say embarassed
angelTI:
Eleyi gidi gan o

is that all you have to say
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Adecks01(m): 9:59pm On Apr 30, 2017
my dear I think you have to take things easy.
1.Your wife telling you that she was having mouth work and her receiving strange calls is just tricks to intimidate you because of your refusal to give her the money.She probably knows that you're the jealous type who can't stand that.
2.check your consciences yourself because.from your Narration you've not being suspecting her until you declined her demand for money which she is so bend for.
I know that right inside you,you always think that as man of the house your decision should stand as pronouncement.which is not suppose to be.In your narration,you never complaint of her being extravagant neither did you demand to know how far with the last shop.It will only be good for you if you reason with your wife on why she desperately needs that money and sort things together,you can even give her better reasons on why you said "NO" and she'll surely understand after reasoning together.
3.as of why your wife is saying you shouldn't make it a showby by exposing her doesn't justify her involvement in Illicit relationship.where you expecting your wife to protest or retaliate when you call her a hoe and other names? How will you feel if she Retaliate in same manner? And what did you think will happen after that?
While,if you ask me,I will tell you that you're lucky to have her as a good wife because even your story vindicate her as a virtues emotional woman.Were you not aware that even when some women were being caught with men,they don't tolerate that word "hoe" but yours did and was even pleading for you guyz to amicably resolve things-which is the best way-Lastly Your wife don't want you guyz to traumatise the innocent kids that's why she said " atleast for the sake of the children"
If you think your wife is not good change her with love because I know a man that married real ashawo (that had worked for almost 15yrs as prostitute) but have Change her and he's proud of her.He always travel abroad for months but yet,he 100% trust the former prostitute that she can't cheat because he has influenced her with "love"
STOP thinking of divorce.THANKs

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 10:00pm On Apr 30, 2017
The "good" in your last statement doesn't serve any purpose lol. When removed, the statement looks whole!



princessayesha:
Please say something nice to Op...what he is going thu is not easy.
If I were u,i would leave that marriage. No Good man/ woman deserves to be cheated on.
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by SheIsElle(f): 10:00pm On Apr 30, 2017
....

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by messiedidylakes(f): 10:01pm On Apr 30, 2017
bettercreature:
She did nothing wrong! she simply want a new shop beside you should stop calling her a hoe it's wrong.

would you give your wife 2m to rent a shop after spending over 2m in about a year to start up a business for her without any income from the said buisness? don't you think she might ask for another 2m next year?

Should the man continue investing 2m on a yearly bases in a white elephant project?

I really pity the op if all he wrote here is true then his wife might soon render him broke with her frivoulouse demands.

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 10:02pm On Apr 30, 2017
I don't comment on social media but this thread is mehn..

@oP Communication is key in business and partnerships. And when intentions are not clear, different things happen and majority of it is speculative. Not taking sides, but your wife probably didn't grow after marriage, and you kept feeding the system that kept demanding for more and all of a sudden, you're trying to cut down the system which you nurtured and raised... Your wife simply asked for status quo and she expected by all means that you obliged.

Let's play a game, tell he ou've been thinking and you want peace and you'll help her with the money and see how the whole divorce thingey plays out.. Tell her to give you a week, ask for intimacy within this period several times and watch to see if changes occurs in your intimate sessions and life as a couple.. If you experience some changes, after one week, call her parents and or a counselor. It simply implies she's an extortionists and playing games with you..


After this seek a prophet, hot one, to dig deeper to see if there's a way out..or if there's a deeper problem.. Take this steps and see how it goes, take it step by step, play her game and see how it goes...

1 Like

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 10:02pm On Apr 30, 2017
Show me a grateful woman and I'll show you a unicorn.

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Luvdk(f): 10:03pm On Apr 30, 2017
wristbangle:


Be careful for what you wish for dear. If you and your husband are financially strong, what stops both of you from exchanging expensive gifts?

Besides, I hope you learning from this thread. What makes marriage successful is the bond between husband and wife. It all starts from relationship.

Nice dp by the way wink
You sound matured wink
10x!
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by SIRKAY98(m): 10:04pm On Apr 30, 2017
Guy cool down first.this not the time to react

More observations will do
Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by hamzeiy: 10:07pm On Apr 30, 2017
sebod:

You actually slept with a stranger probably just to ease off, she in turn fell in love with your money and thought it would always be business as usual. And when what got her attracted to you seems no longer forthcoming, she's got to sort herself out.

You are already married, try and do whatever you could to save your marriage, bearing in mind you are the architect of whatever happens. You can't afford to make another mistake of having a broken home unless she decides to walk away.
so make the man wait untill the cheat of a wofe decides to walk away?.. thats a spineless advice pls

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by abels(m): 10:08pm On Apr 30, 2017
SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED TO STRANGERS THIS DAYS

1 Like

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