₦airaland Forum

bennyann:

GoodMuyis you better come for brother Hope

GoodMuyis:
@bennyann

You have arrived at a very good point, but the problem is not with Godly ladies, but those who perceived they dont deserve such kind of lady due to their previous life-style, hence they look at them as Holier than I and their some who arrived at the judgement that the Godly ladies where always Do not come near me for I am Holier than thou. Their assumption is usually with Phobia of getting negative response from them.

Its just like you being know to be a Preacher lady in your area, It will only take a person like you or almost to approach you for life-time relationship.

Even the so called Marriage of most of them is as a result of tolerating each other, either of them is just managing due to many factor.

The last point you raised, must be taken seriously, a lot of guys had with wick emotion end-up engaging themselves. There is no way you can engaged in close relationship with friend without developing feelings for them, its Just natural, especially for young people. Even myself their two ladies very close me, I do partially avoid sometimes when i feel my emotion is not stable, one older than me, this one share personal stuff with me yet she is engage.

The Emotional feeling or affection is generally Young peoples challenge, But the best is not to make opposite gender a too-close friend.

hopefulLandlord:
lol

my point is that just as the word "good" has different meanings and levels to different people, so does the word "Godly"

eg certain Christians see any trouser wearing female as "Ungodly", some see nothing wrong in it

certain Christians see any makeup wearing female as "Ungodly", some see nothing wrong in it

certain Christians see any earrings wearing female as "Ungodly", some see nothing wrong in it

so it goes on and on and on, varying amongst even church members


miss you too

frank317:
When you Desire something you work towards it. This attitude increases you chance of having that thing you desire (although it's not a guarantee)

The problem with good and godly girls is that they think that being God and godly is the same thing as working towards having the kind of man you want. That's not true.

The man you desire also have needs, he has other personalities he like in a lady and good and godly lifestyle is just one out of many of them.

Good girls tend to think that being good is the formula to getting their desired man. But bad girl are willing to go the extra mile.

This is just the difference. A good girl who is willing to understand more about life and needs of others stands a better chance that bad girls.. but many good girls would prefer to remain in their comfort zone until it is too late

hopefulLandlord:
nah, but it is what it is

akintom:
The only bad thing in good babes, is the very godliness.

bennyann:
Na so. He has come. I salute you.
Oya explain what's bad about the Godliness. List them ooo

bennyann:
Thank you dear. You also knew where I went wrong. I noticed and I'm trying to come out of it.

You know, I just locked myself in all in the name of protecting myself. It worked though but it's time to come out of it for my own good.

Thank you onyenze123

dingbang:
Hmmm na so one girl stroll into my room oo.. Say she want tea... I give am tea...

But they won't ask for fvck... Raabisssssh...


Dingbang I am hungry . I resemble ya papa...

hopefulLandlord:
okay, very sensible post

akintom:
Longest time my sister in the Lord .

dingbang:
Hmmm na so one girl stroll into my room oo.. Say she want tea... I give am tea...

But they won't ask for fvck... Raabisssssh...


Dingbang I am hungry . I resemble ya papa...

bennyann:

bennyann:
Shior...

bennyann:
Brother Akin is that a typo error? In the Lord ke?

bennyann:
Shé ewa OK sha ?

obinna58:
How you live your lifestyle is one of the strongest indicators of future success. Everything from how you spend your leisure time to how you view your current state and ur dreams can make serious impact on ur life, whether Godliness or not
The more hardwork and intelligent ur are the more successful ur likely to be
Living godly lifestyle can not automatically make u successful

MZLady39:
BennyAnn,
Sister..wow! It's been a long time! Glad to know you're alive & well.
Believe it or not, but I've been thinking about you...wondering if you were okay.
Well I got my answer today.
Anyhow, I take it you are young....late teens to maybe mid 20s or so?
I really felt impressed to respond to you after reading your post because you seem like a sincere, kind and Godly young lady who loves her Lord and wants honest answers.
The fate of a Godly young lady.....is to be mated with a Godly young man...(the man God has for you). If you've been praying, God knows...and at the appointed time (if He has called you to be married)...then that man will recognize you as his helper and it will happen. Have faith!
Sister,
I'm gonna be very transparent right now.....brutally honest.
According to Nigeria's standard, I'm an old maid...(all my youth is gone, my eggs rotten, best years gone etc.) since I am single at 39. If I had low self-esteem, I would probably go into a depression from all that I've read on NL in these few months I've been a member
YET in my mind, I know the best is yet to come...be it marriage or singleness! And no one can tell me differently or steal my joy!
"Feelings/emotions" are a state of mind. They, however, can change and are not always reliable. You have to have that unshakeable joy....that peace only Christ can give...about a future relationship.
Part 2 Coming In A Moment

MZLady39:
BennyAnn,
Sister..wow! It's been a long time! Glad to know you're alive & well.
Believe it or not, but I've been thinking about you...wondering if you were okay.
Well I got my answer today.
Anyhow, I take it you are young....late teens to maybe mid 20s or so?
I really felt impressed to respond to you after reading your post because you seem like a sincere, kind and Godly young lady who loves her Lord and wants honest answers.
The fate of a Godly young lady.....is to be mated with a Godly young man...(the man God has for you). If you've been praying, God knows...and at the appointed time (if He has called you to be married)...then that man will recognize you as his helper and it will happen. Have faith!
Sister,
I'm gonna be very transparent right now.....brutally honest.
According to Nigeria's standard, I'm an old maid...(all my youth is gone, my eggs rotten, best years gone etc.) since I am single at 39. If I had low self-esteem, I would probably go into a depression from all that I've read on NL in these few months I've been a member
YET in my mind, I know the best is yet to come...be it marriage or singleness! And no one can tell me differently or steal my joy!
"Feelings/emotions" are a state of mind. They, however, can change and are not always reliable. You have to have that unshakeable joy....that peace only Christ can give...about a future relationship.
Part 2 Coming In A Moment

LiberaDeus:
I dont know if this is the right time to say this but i have to tell you that you are a very special, wonderful, beautiful and lovely person. Continue loving yourself and i hope and know that the best in your life is yet to come. Blot out all the negative words typical nigerians throw to you and listen to only statements like mine and the positive things you say to yourself

dingbang:
can I help u?

MizMyColi:
This issue of good girls and marriage is one that is so close to my heart.
I really want to speak my mind, like bare it all.
But sometimes I remember that I can be very honest and open to a fault, so I hold back.
I wish I could talk to you in private.

https://www.nairaland.com/2638676/woman-know-thyself-more-than

Several months ago, I found myself thinking about how whenever a girl or young lady in my nation is corrected by her parents or guardians, it is always done in view of her eventual marriage. For example

“Chinwe look how dirty your room is! Is this how you will handle your home?!”

“Rebecca this your arrogance and tongue will drive away your husband”

“You need to learn how to do domestic chores so that you can be a good wife to your husband”

And so on

bennyann:
Sometime ago, a man told me "good girls like me are the ones who turn out so pitiable and they eventually settle down with men that aren't noble or Honourable while the bad ones end up settling down with wealthy and Honourable men and tend to be treated like a queen as though they never lived a despicable life"

I immediately renounced it by replying that won't be my portion and he'll live to see how God would beautify my life to the extent he would wish he had swallowed up those words.

But after that scene died down, I thought to myself - is this man not saying the truth? Because I looked around me and realized most ladies have things going well for them and even settled down with high caliber of men one never thought would settle with them.
But I thank God and I'm happy for such people because I do spend time praying for such people when I feel if they continue with that lifestyle, it may lead to their regret. So it feels so good to see them blessed and prosperous and especially, settled down with their own family already. I mean that's a testimony But what that man told me began creating fear in me.

LESSONS LEARNT
Though I sometimes get scared of what the man said but as a Christian, I shouldn't allow that and I think if what the man said come to pass, it would be because of some of my behaviors and principles I ought to change and which are:

1. I have to minimize the way I stay indoors or just keep to myself. I have to let go of the fear of going to New places, making new friends and getting to know people all in the name of protecting me. If God has protected me this far, He can't leave me now.

2. A strong mindset of being in only one relationship which it's a must it leads to marriage. I desire so much just to be in a relationship with one person in my life. I hate with a passion being in a romantic relationship here and there, not to talk of the imagination of being touched by different people all over the place. Eeeeeeeww.
But what do I do when such a relationship doesn't work? Should I then kill myself or force it? NO

3. Being in a relationship with someone that's as Godly as you or should I say more Godly. Some persons especially pastors to be or pastors because of the height of purity they believe they've attained in life makes it difficult for them to overlook some mistakes their partners make which could have easily been overlooked by unbelievers or 'the not so righteous'.

I desired being taken to the altar by a Pastor but I doubt that now. Because it seems those in the world know how to love their woman than the so called Holy Ghost filled men.

4. I shouldn't give too much attention to those who claim they love me or they just want to be my friends. I've observed most men don't like to be given attention by the woman they claim they love, even the so called good guys. It's like it's in their nature, immediately they find out or they think you care too much for them or you love them way too much, they then think you can't do without them. This makes them take you for a fool or a non entity. No wonder good guys get married to bad girls and vice versa.

That makes me wonder, when they get married, should their wives not care for them or give them attention as they desired? I doubt if they would find that funny

This 4th point should be my No.1 lesson but I don't think it would be easy for me to go by it. Because my heart is filled with too much love to give out. To me, it takes more than a strong heart or a strong decision not to care for those you like not to talk of those you love or cherish. I hope I get to that point though but it will really hurt not giving attention to the one you care about.

5. I should not love first. I should be the one to receive love, enough of it before I can say yes, it's time for me to give back love.
This is a major lesson I've learnt but it's also the one that would really hurt if I have to make the person who genuinely loves me and is not blinded by ego go through that. He doesn't deserve it.

6. I no longer believe in the platonic kind of friendship between members of the opposite sex. I'm a kind who do have one close friend at a time depending on the change of environment and it turned out guys have been more of my close friends than the ladies. Though ladies are more comfortable with male friends but I think I can advise that the opposite sex shouldn't be a 'best friend'.
I realized it doesn't actually turn out pure as people portray. And that's because one of you might have developed or will eventually develop what I can call a Sexual kind of feeling towards the other. And guys out there who doesn't want to come closer to you for friendship sake but for relationship sake will find it difficult to come closer to you and may eventually quit and that's because they see what you don't see or what you pretend to never see.

After my platonic friendship with the second or third guy, I came to the conclusion that there's nothing like 'best friends' between a guy and a lady and that's because I got to know they had feelings for me in one way or the other. Though some denied the feelings, I eventually got to know through how they tried having a feel of my body.
That shows there seems to be something going on behind closed doors so I wouldn't advice anyone to get so close to the opposite sex in the guise of best friends. I also wouldn't advise anyone to leave his or her partner in the friendship of the opposite sex.

What's my fate then? I'm waiting to see because I refuse to be a good girl gone bad. I won't let the words of men that want to destroy me change me. I won't let the failure of good or Godly guys loving me change me. If someone like me exists and can still love then there should be someone for me out there who is good, Godly and still knows how to love.
I refuse to be among the good girls who end up badly. God help me.

I hope to look back on this thread and smile that I made it, some time in the future.

---

Are you married or single? Let me know your view of good, Godly single girls, the advantages and disadvantages.

kingralph:
The question is what makes one a good girl or bad girl? Who is a good girl and who is a bad girl?

bennyann:
I believe ladies in general have all experienced some of this from excerpts of your thread below:


I'm very smallish in stature and I recollect a close member of my family I cherish a lot, telling me I need to grow fat or big so I can get someone better to marry me.

You have no idea how I suffered from inferiority complex to a very high extent after that. The only thing that has saved me is that I've never desired to be like someone else, it would have been worse for me.

I went back to school after that looking smaller because those words really ate me up. I'm far better now in my emotions though I haven't grown big still

But if I should add some flesh, I would be happier.

It's just so amazing because it seems the society is structured in a way that suggests ladies live for men. Like that's their entire responsibility - grooming themselves for men.

God help us.

I'm honored to have you here MizMyColi

But the truth is women were made to be men's best companion. Maybe that's why all those are being thrown at our faces. It's only a man of maturity, humility, great understanding and a man that loves his woman as himself that can live to the full expectations of a virtuous woman or wife material.

orisa37:
Same as any good Godly Born Again Christian.

MizMyColi:
Sis.
I can relate with your thoughts on this thread.
It may tarry, but if it's that which you strongly desire, it will come to pass.

I know the kind of person I am, so it was a subconscious mantra that I won't settle for less. If my heart and soul did not feel good about him, I'd rather remain single.

Honestly, there were times when I questioned my father. There were those times when it felt depressing. I didn't want some partner. I wanted THE PARTNER.

Even here on NL, folks taunted me. Lol

Well, I am where I am today.

Through it all, I just knew that it would happen at the right time. I was mostly happy and at peace. I was filled with joy and an unshakable quiet faith that the one in whom I have placed my hopes and fears and dreams on would always see me through.

Also, remember, it is one thing to be good and godly, it's another thing to be full of Love. Love does not discriminate, love is not judgemental. Are you the kind that discriminates? Do you somehow think of yourself as better than others because you have found the Lord? This shouldn't be.

There is nothing wrong in desiring a life partner. Please keep on. One Day....
I believe that link has really said it all.

limamintruth:
Good questions bro.
The irony of it all is a lot of the supposedly 'good/godly' girls tend to have certain attitudes that often prevent good guys from approaching them for relationship.

For instance, some tend to be so judgemental, unfriendly, and extremely reserved; thereby unintentionally sending away prospective suitors who did mean well.

Thus, being a godly lady doesn't just mean being religious, but it also means relating well with every person one comes across with utmost humility, kindness & respect.

akintom:
se o ti yo eebu niyen


Se o mo prophet Obadare?



Oo do'gbon yo eebu lara baba faa

bennyann:
Egba mi ooo. Éjo, mi o gbo ede yin to be yen. Ke shanu mi ooo.

bennyann:
That prophet is from CAC, right?