₦airaland Forum

cuteme88:
Why are mine having this feeling that we are dating the same guy? lol. Well no difference with mine too.

I attended a Singles programme last week, the Speaker was a married counsellor and he said one thing that just sound like a bomb in my head. Well my breakup was new and u know we ladies we are so emotional, trying to like u know just go back and manage with the guy that kind tin. This Man mentioned exactly my case as if my spirit was connected to him. he said there's no how a man or a woman should be too busy to communicate with each other, you both should discuss and sort out the time you can see, or talk to each other. communication is very effective in a relationship, it makes u know each other better, tend to understand yourself more, know your weaknesses and strength and how to let it have a play in your relationship. He now went further to say that although we learn new things about our partner EVERYDAY that even till this day he keeps learning new things about his wife, some new habits,attitude that he never knew about her during their relationship keeps unveiling it selves as their marriage grows older.
This is the Man who dated his wife for 8yrs and married now for 12yrs. Tell me if you don't communicate while dating what do u want to learn or know about your partner? How do u wanna understand your partner? Or is it when u both are Married that u will want to start knowing her better? No wonder in most marital issues the man or the woman will start complaining that the partner has been pretending to be this why he is Not! Why won't u notice some signs when u have distance yourself with your partner without communicating in order to know yourselves better and understand your differences in order to balance your relationship.

Well back to this wonderful speaker. He ended it all by saying if you and your partner are not communicating with each other or reaching out to each other through any means u can, especially when technology is make communication easier now; that relationship is dead. Just quit! And I was like ooooh yes he is definitely talking to me; I never made the wrong choice.

My sister as i'm talking to u now till today and till this minute. My guy don't know i have broken up with him and we have not reach out to each other for two months now. Well as usual, I've always been the one reaching out to him but i just decided not to reach out and i'm done. Maybe he will call in 6months time or perhaps if he got the heart 3months time. I will be waiting for that day he will call for me to tell him "Bro's Relationship don end ooooh!" Lol

I will send you a pm lol
Mine doesn't know I've broken up with him either. One thing I cherish the most in relationships is effective communication. I know if you love me,you will do everything possible to hear from me and be with me.
As for me,I don't waste time at all. I don't know how to wait endlessly on people. Once I spot a red flag,I'm gone within a twinkle of an eye. I'm a hot cake lol. I know my worth. I can't beat myself over the wrong person when there is someone better somewhere. What I can say about these guys(ladies too) is,if you know you don't want a serious relationship with someone, don't lead them on. It hurts a lot. Stick to whoever you want... Don't waste my time. Ladies should know when to MOVE. Don't waste time. Don't! Be financially independent...explore and have fun. Life doesn't have to revolve around a man.

boiz2men:
lol... u keep sayin i dont have a job and each time i rush to see ya dp... im dissapointed each time seeing where u live... i b wan ask u for job since u think i dont have a job...

see this squatter wey dey form Behind
I don't give job to brainless dude

Toks2008 you made much sense on this thread... Keep it up

Toks2008:
There is one absurdity i have seen in romantic affairs...it's the act of unbalance feelings of love and affection from both parties which usually leaves one party feeling unloved and in many cases will lead to sadness, depression, anger, nagging when they feel they are not getting the love and attention they deserve....If you find yourself expressing the aforementioned then you are clearly begging for love.

If you ever observe this just pause and ask yourself why you are begging for the love and affection...if there is something you are doing wrong then adjust but if it is just your partner who is not just connecting with you please move on.

Stop crying and begging for love from someone who is not willing to give it. Stop begging fot attention,compliments, praise,admiration,hugs,kisses because at the end it will lead to serious depression and you will start thinking you are not good enough and this destructive mindset will prevent you from attaining your goals and dreams in life.

If you are dating someone who makes you beg for love and affection please close your eyes and leave that union...*MOVE ON* cos you are too special to beg for love from anyone because in the real sense. ...such person is not worth it but if you go ahead to marry such with the hope that he or she will change then you are on a wild goose chase cos it will most likely get worse.

And if you are married yet see yourself begging for love and affection please get a grip of yourself and channel your energy on yourself and your kids if any. ..
the constant nagging makes you look desperate. Deal with it by learning how to love yourself, and take care of yourself (mentally, physically, and spiritually).

Stop waiting for that other person to grab your hand, and motivate yourself by moving forth in your life and acknowledging that you are a dynamic, unique, beautiful, talented person with or without the love or attention from another individual.

The problem is that rather than move on,many people would rather remain in that affair hoping things will change thereby sinking deeper and deeper into a sorry state.

Remember that there is always someone out there who is ready to give you all the love and affection you can ever dream of so stop wasting your time and life with someone who does not deserve you.

The strange twist is that in most cases,if you care less and focus on yourself,the other party will realize how valuable you are and will most likely give you more than the attention you deserve.

Always remember that the wrong person will make you beg for affection, attention and commitment but the right person will give you very effortlessly because he or she truly wants you.

Don't know if this makes sense.

On point dear.
This makes much sense though at times they change and the love grows in them with time.
Nice one from you.

adajoe555:
One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed. I can't go a day without crying. I'm trying my best to pull out but it still keep coming. For one week now I've just been in my room ,I haven't gone out ( crying)

whats this? You're not engaged in anything or?

Omotayor123:
see this squatter wey dey form Behind
I don't give job to brainless dude

small woman... how is u?

montezz:
I will send you a pm lol
Mine doesn't know I've broken up with him either. One thing I cherish the most in relationships is effective communication. I know if you love me,you will do everything possible to hear from me and be with me.
As for me,I don't waste time at all. I don't know how to wait endlessly on people. Once I spot a red flag,I'm gone within a twinkle of an eye. I'm a hot cake lol. I know my worth. I can't beat myself over the wrong person when there is someone better somewhere. What I can say about these guys(ladies too) is,if you know you don't want a serious relationship with someone, don't lead them on. It hurts a lot. Stick to whoever you want... Don't waste my time. Ladies should know when to MOVE. Don't waste time. Don't! Be financially independent...explore and have fun. Life doesn't have to revolve around a man.

hot cake ke? who bake you?

bjhaid:
whats this? You're not engaged in anything or?

.
I am ..that's just how it is

Joseid:
Another outstanding thread by Toks2008, well done.
Virtually everything has been said already. I have just a little thing to chip in.
If you're in a one sided relationship, don't try to make things work. Don't force it. Relationships requires work not struggle. Let it go. The simple truth is, your presence does not mean much to your partner anymore. That's the plain truth. He/she has come to take you for granted. It's not your fault that you are caring; it's their fault that they got so complacent with who you are.
The best way to get over this? Achieve something tangible. Go for success that makes a difference. Immerse yourself into a new project, take a course in hotel and catering or professional course, start a business... Just do something daring. Take the pain, the frustration, the anger and very other emotion you feel into that new venture and pour it all into it. Is it music? Is it a clothing line? Is it a new book? Whatever it may be, do something that will take your breath away in the end. It will help you heal. But beyond that, it will be your revenge. It will be proof that your self esteem is intact and it was not damaged by the negligence of others.
My fellow guys, above all, make money. If you have made money, make more money. It will help you. When you've made more money, ensure you make loads of it. Very important.
You will eventually realize that your broken relationship is a blessing in disguise. Yes, you have the power to allow it break you or mould you. It's in your hand!

this really got.
Ima make the money

Joseid:
Another outstanding thread by Toks2008, well done.
Virtually everything has been said already. I have just a little thing to chip in.
If you're in a one sided relationship, don't try to make things work. Don't force it. Relationships requires work not struggle. Let it go. The simple truth is, your presence does not mean much to your partner anymore. That's the plain truth. He/she has come to take you for granted. It's not your fault that you are caring; it's their fault that they got so complacent with who you are.
The best way to get over this? Achieve something tangible. Go for success that makes a difference. Immerse yourself into a new project, take a course in hotel and catering or professional course, start a business... Just do something daring. Take the pain, the frustration, the anger and very other emotion you feel into that new venture and pour it all into it. Is it music? Is it a clothing line? Is it a new book? Whatever it may be, do something that will take your breath away in the end. It will help you heal. But beyond that, it will be your revenge. It will be proof that your self esteem is intact and it was not damaged by the negligence of others.
My fellow guys, above all, make money. If you have made money, make more money. It will help you. When you've made more money, ensure you make loads of it. Very important.
You will eventually realize that your broken relationship is a blessing in disguise. Yes, you have the power to allow it break you or mould you. It's in your hand!

Best comment of the year. You have said it all.

montezz:
I will send you a pm lol
Mine doesn't know I've broken up with him either. One thing I cherish the most in relationships is effective communication. I know if you love me,you will do everything possible to hear from me and be with me.
As for me,I don't waste time at all. I don't know how to wait endlessly on people. Once I spot a red flag,I'm gone within a twinkle of an eye. I'm a hot cake lol. I know my worth. I can't beat myself over the wrong person when there is someone better somewhere. What I can say about these guys(ladies too) is,if you know you don't want a serious relationship with someone, don't lead them on. It hurts a lot. Stick to whoever you want... Don't waste my time. Ladies should know when to MOVE. Don't waste time. Don't! Be financially independent...explore and have fun. Life doesn't have to revolve around a man.

Thank you for this ...I was smiling reading this .

adajoe555:
Thank you for this ...I was smiling reading this .

Awwwww!
Hugs!

Hope you feel much better now?

montezz:
Awwwww!
Hugs!

Hope you feel much better now?

Far more better than yesterday ( smiling)

dingbang:
Nickizoe

Dingbang

montezz:
I will send you a pm lol
Mine doesn't know I've broken up with him either. One thing I cherish the most in relationships is effective communication. I know if you love me,you will do everything possible to hear from me and be with me.
As for me,I don't waste time at all. I don't know how to wait endlessly on people. Once I spot a red flag,I'm gone within a twinkle of an eye. I'm a hot cake lol. I know my worth. I can't beat myself over the wrong person when there is someone better somewhere. What I can say about these guys(ladies too) is,if you know you don't want a serious relationship with someone, don't lead them on. It hurts a lot. Stick to whoever you want... Don't waste my time. Ladies should know when to MOVE. Don't waste time. Don't! Be financially independent...explore and have fun. Life doesn't have to revolve around a man.

I think you should have spelt it out to him in black and blue that u are someone who loves to keep in touch and expect the same or close to the same level from him... I

cuteme88:
Infact ehhhhh! Is like u are even talking to me directly. I ended My first relationship of 3yrs because it so seems like i was the one trying to make the relationship work, and it turns out to be a one-sided relationship thing. I do the calling,texting and check up on my guy i just like what's all this? Na me toast am abi na him come toast me? If he loves me as he claim make him too dey try reach out to me. And now i just ended another relationship of 2yrs because of the same issue. I till do the calling, texting and check up. Imagine calling your Man to say hello after 3months of no communication and he says I'm busy will call u back! And u till have to wait another 3months for his so called statement of calling u back Chei! Na u come and find me. I never ask to be in a relationship with u, na me till go dey call, text and even try to reach out to u. I no fit shout oooh jawe! Kilode

Thanks for the article.

sounds like he has found another gal , or he is just a player...

Oyindidi:


Love is a funny feeling, those you fell head over heels for, feels nothing about you and the one you feel nothing for is ready to die for you.

Oyindidi
so who are you falling over for

robosky02:
Oyindidi
so who are you falling over for

You

Tydarl:
The best thing is for a woman to earn her own cash and be independent. What you mistake for love is mostly the thirst for security and financial help from men by dependent women; and vice versa. Most people don't even know what love is, they just want to be parasites. People cling to others for their selfish reasons, once everyone is independent, you would see that the begging for love charade would reduce.

As for people who are truly in love, they don't listen to advice, they had rather die with the object of their affection. They are the ones that end up commiting suicide for love.

Brilliant. You couldn't have said it any better

Kudos Op

makes beautiful sense