₦airaland Forum

I just feel sad . And I don't know why .

I wish I could just get a girl pregnant and not get married .

If you see what I experience with married ladies , you would pity the husbands .

I for one would never sleep with any of these whores called married women . So if I ever have a reason to believe my wife is cheating , I pray to God to give me the strength and grace to end the marriage right there and then .

chinybelle:
Oga
You obviously pushed your wife away.

You were not innocent at the early stage. It took her some time to discover that and wants a revenge_ a caring ex was available to stand in.
She was still in the process but from what you wrote, she hasn't summoned enough courage to do it,not yet, even though she almosthdid because you push her out emotional during your not so innocent days.

Now you are a changed man
She can see it as well
That's why she can confide in you and not daring you with a bigger joystick

Your wife isn't cheating
You almost pushed her to
Be careful and groom your home.
Ex was just taking advantage of her emotional state to chop free kpomo but I know he didn't succeed. I can deduce that from your post. No cheating wife will cheat and come back home to tell. She was just daring you or trying to get you jealous.
Your wife needs you so much even though she may not have been communicating it

My opinion.
Cc rogovo20

One sided opinion

That wife's eyes sef still dey her ex body....her eyes and feelings no gree comot her ex

joladoyin:
One sided opinion

My opinion
You can just state yours and we can all move on.

Thank you

kelvinrhs:
How will dat be possible.

It's possible bro, u will just make d girl to understand u be shud be a very good frds, so intimate and calling each other almost every time, it depends though, she might actually nid a dating from u, base on agreement btw u people

Oga, stay faithful to your wife.
Unfaithfulness always start with a first seed.
The excuse for her to cheat is your own cheating. Abeg. For the sake of your kids.

Oyindidi:
I no understand



Make I follow put mouth for this your matter. You are a chronic cheat and your wife is seeking revenge. I av said it times without number that most men are the reason their wives are unfaithful. Now you're claiming you only look at a lady's backside.
You are the cause of the problem in your home.

As for your wife, she is plainly childish.
Both of you are cheats reason she replied with the big dick issh.

Be faithful to your wife Mr man. You've caused enough damage already.

if I should say what's on my mind we will end up sending assassins to each other

Just receive sense

I can't believe a man would allow himself to be dragged around like this . Shame




In this time and age when even better and rich women would give anything to be with a man you're being a fool for a woman eh?



Thunder fire you woman who will come to me about her ex

U don't have moral justification to go after the Ex, blame your wife, she is a prostitute, u ought to have involve her parent too, omo elepo ni that will never stop sleeping around, u only discovered Ex, wot about those dat. are yet to be discover?

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kelvinrhs:
And a substitute will pack in the next day... No time to waste

sharp sharp

Op, if you don't act to address the trust issues in your marriage decisively you will soon be your wife's ex-husband.

99% of women still keep in touch with their Ex.....
They will say it's just friendship.

rogovo20:
Hi Nlanders,

Happy Childrens day to all the daddies and mummies. Quick one, my wife and I are 6 years into our marriage with 2 kids, from the inception of our marital union we have always had issues that stems on trust, we both have that issue, and when I say trust, it has
to strictly do with her bickering into my phone and finding somethings not worth shouting or condemning me for, rather for communication, but she does otherwise. In her own case, it had to do with her ex she always talked about when we courted for a short period before marrying. She told me she called him to seek advise and confide in him, told her to stop and threatened fire n brimstone, but later found out that she saved the guys number with another name, gave me excuse as to the reason she did it.

One faithful day, a year after marriage, 5 years ago to be precise, she had gone to the school she worked as a teacher, there also she takes my dauther who resumes at the day care there. 2 hrs later, she called me crying over the phone that there was an accident, I asked what happened, she said my daughter of 9 months old then had a severe deep cut on her lips that I should rush down. Immediately, I left and branched at the clinic where she was being stitched, I felt for the poor baby, because at that age with such injury was not nice. Immediately, I told her that we'll leave for home for the day. The clinic was not far from the school where she parked her car, so I asked for the key so I could go ahead and pick the car so we can all be going home. On reaching the car, I saw her wedding ring kept in the glove compartment. Was surprised because she always wear it, and wore it out to work. At that moment, was more worried about my daughter.

We got home, and I asked her why her ring was in the car instead of her finger,she said the reason why she removed it was because last Sunday I was staring at a girls ass and she was mad about it. In which I did, but didnt do it deliberately or seemed too obvious, I use style look, and it was more of a reflex, I am human. I apologized that very day, but to think after then, she decided to remove her ring because of that? RED FLAG. I kept my mute. Once in a while throughout the years, when we still have arguments, I ask her that I still wonder why she removed her ring, that it cant be the issue of ass staring that would make it that bad for her to do that. She kept on saying it was the reason. 5 years into the marriage now, we were having a deep discussion, then she started saying things about what happened during our early stage of marriage, that she called her ex, because that was the only person he knew as a bf then, reason why she confided in him, that he talked about leaving his wife too with two kids and run away to Canada with her bla bla bla. But the major thing about her point was that, she discussed the issue of me stearing at another womans ass with him, that was when the guy started packaging some stories that entered her head, which was the reason why she removed that ring on that faithful day. Wow! She now stated that she noticed he was trying to seduce her by seeing her, that he went to the extent of saying, if I should come and see u at that ur place of work, I might be forced to kiss you, stating that was when she knew he was trying to use words to have him come around, so he could have sex with her. I told her that whats the probability that they have not been seeing, she said NEVER. But then I reminded her of the day we had issues, she came back from work late, and I asked where she had gone, she replied by saying, I went to go and have sex with someone that has a bigger joystick that urs. She later denounced that it was a joke to get at me, its possible,, and it could be true.

Nlanders, sorry for my long story, if i dont put it down well, u wont know my stance on this issue, I wont say am a saint when I started this marriage, but I have changed, this woman up until now has not, I have another post to share right after this. Now my question here is, I WANT to keep my family regardless of whatever, but is it wise to Bleep that ex up? Because of what she told me he said, to me hes trying to spoil me to get into my wife, thats if he has not, because I one way or the other found this her ex wife number. And I have evidences to prove that she has been in communication with my wife. Or should I just let God judge? Cos as I bad reach b4 I marry, I have never, and will never sleep with a married woman, nor will I ever try to sleep with an ex who is already married. Sincere opinion needed.

Hello,
Most times in life there is just one ex we never get over. I have held an ex that I loved for about 11 years after we broke up in my heart. Don't mean that your wife loves him, but her feelings aren't yet severed with his.
If I may ask, what was the nature of their breakup? And the inception of your marriage? If you could provide the following information I can give you the best counsel I can... Lots of love

Married men bothering themselves. Just do a paternity test. If the children are yours, then she is faithful. Otherwise she is not. However, your gain is the children whether yours or not. Life is short, a little cheating makes it interesting. In summary if U have never bleeped out, then she will also most probably have never bleeped out.

rogovo20:
Thats why I tried to interrogate her to know if they saw each other, she said they never did, theres no how to know that, only Jah does. But the only thing that gave me a feeling they saw each other was the ring she pulled, her version of the reason why she pulled it sounds RED FLAG to me. In modern days now, some men and women who cheat always remove their ring aside.

Can u recall the exact date? I think i can assist here

Oyindidi:
I no understand



Make I follow put mouth for this your matter. You are a chronic cheat and your wife is seeking revenge. I av said it times without number that most men are the reason their wives are unfaithful. Now you're claiming you only look at a lady's backside.
You are the cause of the problem in your home.

As for your wife, she is plainly childish.
Both of you are cheats reason she replied with the big dick issh.

Be faithful to your wife Mr man. You've caused enough damage already.

u said it all,but still remain one thing,make them repent o!

Can't take that for whatever reason,

daben1:
kai!! It pains me alot... You see why i may not marry? I can't tolerate this shi.t

mst of dis ladies cant let go of their ex'es spcially wen they've dated for up to 3yrs, more or less, d ex stamp signature is stored in their fish brain. i sometimes get dat ex ish frm my woman(because we yet to hav sex after 9months of dateing) about him callin n stil disturbing her about getin back. i alwayz tell her she knws wats best for her the choices she makes will determine hw far we go. man women are simple n complicated i believe u knw her better than any one jst try as much as u can to straighten things up.

kaffy4tope:
Don't blame the 'Ex'...Blame the prostitute you married as a woman that body language still gives the 'Ex' some hopes.



Are you sure the so called Ex have not or still banging your wife??

Why are Nigerians this fvcking judgmental?

Have some respect for his wife. Why would you call her a 'prostitute' to his face just because he's asking for opinions?

Yes, it's possible that it's her body-language that's giving the guy hope but you & I know that these things are mental & emotional & many times may not be intentional. The body language she's radiating might be unconscious due to possible emotions/feelings she might still have for him....but we can't even be sure of that a 100%.

@OP, sit your wife & talk serious sense into her head. Tell her how she MUST stop ALL forms of communication with her ex. Tell her how disrespectful her actions are to you & the crack they're causing to you guys' marriage.
Do not be hostile when you're telling her but be FIRM & calm.

missomo:
I think you have a very good woman as a wife. Let me tell you why.

Your wife obviously was very close to her ex. It is obvious that the issues she had in the marriage made her confide in someone she thought was a close friend. The fact that he was married too made her more comfortable. Unfortunately, he turned out to be an opportunist. Immediately she discovered he had ulterior motives she backed away and let it be. That's a good woman. People make mistakes and she didn't even commit adultery but fled from it.

She is a bit foolish and immature though but good because she told you. Most women won't ever tell you what happened but because she has a simple mind and an innocent spirit she did.

Poster, can you come out here and say truthfully that you haven't had an extra marital affair since you married her? She probably discovered one or two of your flings and she decided to retaliate during a fight by saying that she went to see a man. She didn't see any man. She came back late because she spent time with a female friend complaining and vowing to teach you a lesson. She said she was with a man simply to prove to you that she too can be found appealing by someone outside. No woman unless she is feeding you will ever admit or flaunt her infidelity to your face.

You should sit down with you wife and in a civil manner tell her what you think she has done wrong. You people should sort it all out in one night and there should be no secrets or secret movements between you two.

Lastly know that there is no perfect marriage. Don't listen to anyone here saying she is a prostitute because you know she isn't and that is why you wifed her. I wish you both the best.

Nice analogy but I think she actually cheated DAT night she cracked that expensive joke. women react to pain n heartbreak by having sex with either their bfs best friend or close friend or a nice guy she confides in. its their payback strategy n u know this. For she to say it when angry,she most likely did it.
OP,ur wife is cheating already. Either u track her calls n chats for proof or u let go. solution, tell her u found something disturbing about her,n u are taking ur kids for a DNA test before starting the divorce process. Watch her reaction. Actually take the kids for the test to prove u are serious. Invite a lawyer over to the house n discuss divorce process in her presence. Again,watch her reaction. If she breaks down,ask her how many times she has cheated on u,. DAT u know but u just want her to confess to show she is remorseful n regrets her actions.

Oyindidi:
I no understand



Make I follow put mouth for this your matter. You are a chronic cheat and your wife is seeking revenge. I av said it times without number that most men are the reason their wives are unfaithful. Now you're claiming you only look at a lady's backside.
You are the cause of the problem in your home.

As for your wife, she is plainly childish.
Both of you are cheats reason she replied with the big dick issh.

Be faithful to your wife Mr man. You've caused enough damage already.

One sided thrash as usual

basty:
I know you are not married and you are naive of what marriage is all about. You are one sided judge. Why are you blaming this man for God's sake?

By the grace of God this is my 10th year, that man knows he's a cheat.

buragidi:
Guy, this is a dangerous development. I have been in marriage for eight years and I have realised that one of the greatest threat to marriage is the issue of ex. I have about 5 ladies that we had dated at one time or the other, whom are now married, some with up to four kids, who are still contacting me and demanding for ssex. I know one of them, whose husband is so rich and had built house for her Mum, and bought her a Land cruiser, yet she wants to still commit adultery with me, who is equally married. In Nigeria, she was begging to buy me flight tickets from Abuja to Lagos and pay for hotel and all bills, but I declined, because I can't do married women. When she came to London, I don't know how she got my contact again, she was practically begging that we should meet, I had to avoid her completely. Honestly, I don't know why many married women find it difficult to break away completely from their exs. I am sorry to break your heart. I can tell you that there is 80% chance that the guy has been 4king your wife, for her to have the audacity of even displaying it to you. I think you are also weak as a nan in certain aspects. Even though my knows that I have the tendency to lick plates outside (she never caught me, but she knows my history b4 marriage and due knows I have very high libbido), she dare not tell me such nonsense about one ex. We are very close and best of friends and she is a very beautiful woman. I know men toast her and she tells me. But she can be mad to tell me she has gone to 4ck a ddik, she won't try it. Even immediately after the marriage, when her ex was always calling and asking after her, she would tell and how she told him to stop calling her and the guy will say they should just remain friends. She told the guy that the only male friend she has is her husband and whosoever her husband approves to be her friend, hence, he should be her husband friend before becoming her friend. The poor guy would not stop calling. I remember he called on a Saturday, I was at home. My wife just said, my husband is here now, just tell him you want to be a secret friend of his wife. That was the last time the guy disturbed her, to the best of my knowledge. So, your wife appears to be willing, the ex is willing and you are not in charge of the marriage. Too bad Bro. Honestly, too bad.

Bro thanks for this comment although am still far for marriage you've said what i suppose to be carefully observing about my future wife and that was of the reasons I wanted to forbidden marriage and I don't know why marriage is just like relationship nowadays which makes any of the two parties to be doing any how he or she like just because of no longevity assurance

Bro,revenge....Bleep his own wife

Obviously, your wife's ex knows her weak point very well, and he's exploring it to the maximum. Perhaps, he succeeded in pummelling your wife's vanilla area with accurate perfection (that's blown her mind away), or had given her unwavering attention/advice when they dated - hence, the emotional and psychological attachment between them.

It's normal for you to be irritated, uncomfortable and worried with this sort of behaviour she's putting up, cause she's playing with your emotions. However, you'll need a lot of patience and craftiness in order to break the emotional and psychological spells her ex had put on her. You've got no dealings with her ex at all, but kindly work on your woman, provided you still love her. On the other hand, you'll need to stop snooping down at wicked backsides' anywhere you find yourself, with or without your wife's presence - it's a sign of respect and reassurance for her. For the fact that you predisposed such behaviour in her presence has led to some of this mess (a bit of distrust).

You need to constantly reassure her of your love and commitment, perhaps via surprise gifts; spoil her with massages (preferably before koitus); and kindly make sure you get to the point of blowing her mind off, especially during koitus; listening to her (attention) etc. Women are emotional beings, whilst guys are logically wired.

I wish you well bruv...

StarPlayer:
One sided thrash as usual

mtcheeeew

Bro,let me start by saying you are patient type of somebody and its really a bravo considering the factors at hand.
Bro with the fact that she's your wife gives you every right to fight for your marriage irrespective of the factors,don't sit back and expect things to work out by itself. Call the guy and warn him to steer off from your wife, implore all means,buh not the drastic ones u might end up regretting.

She is your wife, exposing her ex-boyfriend is exposing your wife ,beside her ex-boyfriend is her past, just as u have your past.

Any power or juju. Your wife using to control you......i command such power to die in Jesus name......

. man be free now

rogovo20:
We got home, and I asked her why her ring was in the car instead of her finger, she said the reason why she removed it was because last Sunday I was staring at a girls ass and she was mad about it.

LMAO . So someone cannot check out bootey again in peace? That's a lame excuse for putting off that ring!

Oyindidi:
I no understand



Make I follow put mouth for this your matter. You are a chronic cheat and your wife is seeking revenge. I av said it times without number that most men are the reason their wives are unfaithful. Now you're claiming you only look at a lady's backside.
You are the cause of the problem in your home.

As for your wife, she is plainly childish.
Both of you are cheats reason she replied with the big dick issh.

Be faithful to your wife Mr man. You've caused enough damage already.

Unfaithful wives of Nairaland