₦airaland Forum

should your wife expose your girlfriend?

rogovo20:
Thats why I tried to interrogate her to know if they saw each other, she said they never did, theres no how to know that, only Jah does. But the only thing that gave me a feeling they saw each other was the ring she pulled, her version of the reason why she pulled it sounds RED FLAG to me. In modern days now, some men and women who cheat always remove their ring aside.

You can know boss. Hire guys to track her and take pictures of her every move. You can even buy a tracker online, put it on any clothes she is gonna wear and track her asss.

My elder brother and his friends were used to track our neighbour in the 90s and they caught the man with another woman and then came back to tell the wife. My mum was mad at my brother back then but the truth was revealed and eventually a child from outside became a member of the family. The man had 3 solid boys o.

TRACK her down boss... it's as simple as that!

buragidi:
Guy, this is a dangerous development. I have been in marriage for eight years and I have realised that one of the greatest threat to marriage is the issue of ex. I have about 5 ladies that we had dated at one time or the other, whom are now married, some with up to four kids, who are still contacting me and demanding for ssex. I know one of them, whose husband is so rich and had built house for her Mum, and bought her a Land cruiser, yet she wants to still commit adultery with me, who is equally married. In Nigeria, she was begging to buy me flight tickets from Abuja to Lagos and pay for hotel and all bills, but I declined, because I can't do married women. When she came to London, I don't know how she got my contact again, she was practically begging that we should meet, I had to avoid her completely. Honestly, I don't know why many married women find it difficult to break away completely from their exs. I am sorry to break your heart. I can tell you that there is 80% chance that the guy has been 4king your wife, for her to have the audacity of even displaying it to you. I think you are also weak as a nan in certain aspects. Even though my knows that I have the tendency to lick plates outside (she never caught me, but she knows my history b4 marriage and due knows I have very high libbido), she dare not tell me such nonsense about one ex. We are very close and best of friends and she is a very beautiful woman. I know men toast her and she tells me. But she can be mad to tell me she has gone to 4ck a ddik, she won't try it. Even immediately after the marriage, when her ex was always calling and asking after her, she would tell and how she told him to stop calling her and the guy will say they should just remain friends. She told the guy that the only male friend she has is her husband and whosoever her husband approves to be her friend, hence, he should be her husband friend before becoming her friend. The poor guy would not stop calling. I remember he called on a Saturday, I was at home. My wife just said, my husband is here now, just tell him you want to be a secret friend of his wife. That was the last time the guy disturbed her, to the best of my knowledge. So, your wife appears to be willing, the ex is willing and you are not in charge of the marriage. Too bad Bro. Honestly, too bad.

U are cheat!...that's all i can deduce from ur long epistle...

U guys hate to see ur wife cheat but derive pleasure in cheating...that's plain EVIl bro...

mikkyphp:
Bra, i dont think you have a marriage. What you have is an "Alliance of Convenience". i dont see how u can be whole again whilst remaining in that marriage. A woman that can say she had sex with someone with a bigger joystick than yours isnt a life partner, let alone wife!
Be Wise, cut your losses, pay child support and move on with your life either alone or with someone that actually loves you.

My 2Cents

Wisest words...

She can cheat...if not now..... later she can.

rogovo20:
Hi Nlanders,

Happy Childrens day to all the daddies and mummies. Quick one, my wife and I are 6 years into our marriage with 2 kids, from the inception of our marital union we have always had issues that stems on trust, we both have that issue, and when I say trust, it has
to strictly do with her bickering into my phone and finding somethings not worth shouting or condemning me for, rather for communication, but she does otherwise. In her own case, it had to do with her ex she always talked about when we courted for a short period before marrying. She told me she called him to seek advise and confide in him, told her to stop and threatened fire n brimstone, but later found out that she saved the guys number with another name, gave me excuse as to the reason she did it.

One faithful day, a year after marriage, 5 years ago to be precise, she had gone to the school she worked as a teacher, there also she takes my dauther who resumes at the day care there. 2 hrs later, she called me crying over the phone that there was an accident, I asked what happened, she said my daughter of 9 months old then had a severe deep cut on her lips that I should rush down. Immediately, I left and branched at the clinic where she was being stitched, I felt for the poor baby, because at that age with such injury was not nice. Immediately, I told her that we'll leave for home for the day. The clinic was not far from the school where she parked her car, so I asked for the key so I could go ahead and pick the car so we can all be going home. On reaching the car, I saw her wedding ring kept in the glove compartment. Was surprised because she always wear it, and wore it out to work. At that moment, was more worried about my daughter.

We got home, and I asked her why her ring was in the car instead of her finger,she said the reason why she removed it was because last Sunday I was staring at a girls ass and she was mad about it. In which I did, but didnt do it deliberately or seemed too obvious, I use style look, and it was more of a reflex, I am human. I apologized that very day, but to think after then, she decided to remove her ring because of that? RED FLAG. I kept my mute. Once in a while throughout the years, when we still have arguments, I ask her that I still wonder why she removed her ring, that it cant be the issue of ass staring that would make it that bad for her to do that. She kept on saying it was the reason. 5 years into the marriage now, we were having a deep discussion, then she started saying things about what happened during our early stage of marriage, that she called her ex, because that was the only person he knew as a bf then, reason why she confided in him, that he talked about leaving his wife too with two kids and run away to Canada with her bla bla bla. But the major thing about her point was that, she discussed the issue of me stearing at another womans ass with him, that was when the guy started packaging some stories that entered her head, which was the reason why she removed that ring on that faithful day. Wow! She now stated that she noticed he was trying to seduce her by seeing her, that he went to the extent of saying, if I should come and see u at that ur place of work, I might be forced to kiss you, stating that was when she knew he was trying to use words to have him come around, so he could have sex with her. I told her that whats the probability that they have not been seeing, she said NEVER. But then I reminded her of the day we had issues, she came back from work late, and I asked where she had gone, she replied by saying, I went to go and have sex with someone that has a bigger joystick that urs. She later denounced that it was a joke to get at me, its possible,, and it could be true.

Nlanders, sorry for my long story, if i dont put it down well, u wont know my stance on this issue, I wont say am a saint when I started this marriage, but I have changed, this woman up until now has not, I have another post to share right after this. Now my question here is, I WANT to keep my family regardless of whatever, but is it wise to Bleep that ex up? Because of what she told me he said, to me hes trying to spoil me to get into my wife, thats if he has not, because I one way or the other found this her ex wife number. And I have evidences to prove that she has been in communication with my wife. Or should I just let God judge? Cos as I bad reach b4 I marry, I have never, and will never sleep with a married woman, nor will I ever try to sleep with an ex who is already married. Sincere opinion needed.

u will Neva sleep wit a married woman but u will surely sleep with unmarried women ba? ur wife knows DAT u nd women's bombom are like 5&6 so she's decided to get back at u. ignorant of her, she's putting her marriage at risk and might make a mistake of which everyone will blame her for not knowing u pushed her into it. cos DAT ex will surely try to sleep wit her nd no matter how had she tries not to as long as she kips seeing him she will fall into it. wen dis happens u can kiss ur wife bye bye. to avoid dis cos its close to happening u gonna av to trail ur wife wen she visits him, throw dem a surprise appearance, shake d guy and tell him dis woman is mine, take ur wife home without scolding her lovingly talk to her and do oda tins DAT real gentlemen do. I forgot to add dey myt av started kissing each other o. na so e dey start. act fast

234ng44uk:
How old are you? This toddlers sha. You for just waka pass and leave the matter for adults.

Even though you are older than i am.. which most definately you arent.. if coming on NAIRALAND to seek this kind of advice is your defination of being an adult.. i cry for you.

rogovo20:
Hi Nlanders,

Happy Childrens day to all the daddies and mummies. Quick one, my wife and I are 6 years into our marriage with 2 kids, from the inception of our marital union we have always had issues that stems on trust, we both have that issue, and when I say trust, it has
to strictly do with her bickering into my phone and finding somethings not worth shouting or condemning me for, rather for communication, but she does otherwise. In her own case, it had to do with her ex she always talked about when we courted for a short period before marrying. She told me she called him to seek advise and confide in him, told her to stop and threatened fire n brimstone, but later found out that she saved the guys number with another name, gave me excuse as to the reason she did it.

One faithful day, a year after marriage, 5 years ago to be precise, she had gone to the school she worked as a teacher, there also she takes my dauther who resumes at the day care there. 2 hrs later, she called me crying over the phone that there was an accident, I asked what happened, she said my daughter of 9 months old then had a severe deep cut on her lips that I should rush down. Immediately, I left and branched at the clinic where she was being stitched, I felt for the poor baby, because at that age with such injury was not nice. Immediately, I told her that we'll leave for home for the day. The clinic was not far from the school where she parked her car, so I asked for the key so I could go ahead and pick the car so we can all be going home. On reaching the car, I saw her wedding ring kept in the glove compartment. Was surprised because she always wear it, and wore it out to work. At that moment, was more worried about my daughter.

We got home, and I asked her why her ring was in the car instead of her finger,she said the reason why she removed it was because last Sunday I was staring at a girls ass and she was mad about it. In which I did, but didnt do it deliberately or seemed too obvious, I use style look, and it was more of a reflex, I am human. I apologized that very day, but to think after then, she decided to remove her ring because of that? RED FLAG. I kept my mute. Once in a while throughout the years, when we still have arguments, I ask her that I still wonder why she removed her ring, that it cant be the issue of ass staring that would make it that bad for her to do that. She kept on saying it was the reason. 5 years into the marriage now, we were having a deep discussion, then she started saying things about what happened during our early stage of marriage, that she called her ex, because that was the only person he knew as a bf then, reason why she confided in him, that he talked about leaving his wife too with two kids and run away to Canada with her bla bla bla. But the major thing about her point was that, she discussed the issue of me stearing at another womans ass with him, that was when the guy started packaging some stories that entered her head, which was the reason why she removed that ring on that faithful day. Wow! She now stated that she noticed he was trying to seduce her by seeing her, that he went to the extent of saying, if I should come and see u at that ur place of work, I might be forced to kiss you, stating that was when she knew he was trying to use words to have him come around, so he could have sex with her. I told her that whats the probability that they have not been seeing, she said NEVER. But then I reminded her of the day we had issues, she came back from work late, and I asked where she had gone, she replied by saying, I went to go and have sex with someone that has a bigger joystick that urs. She later denounced that it was a joke to get at me, its possible,, and it could be true.

Nlanders, sorry for my long story, if i dont put it down well, u wont know my stance on this issue, I wont say am a saint when I started this marriage, but I have changed, this woman up until now has not, I have another post to share right after this. Now my question here is, I WANT to keep my family regardless of whatever, but is it wise to Bleep that ex up? Because of what she told me he said, to me hes trying to spoil me to get into my wife, thats if he has not, because I one way or the other found this her ex wife number. And I have evidences to prove that she has been in communication with my wife. Or should I just let God judge? Cos as I bad reach b4 I marry, I have never, and will never sleep with a married woman, nor will I ever try to sleep with an ex who is already married. Sincere opinion needed.

seriously, I still can't understand what a married woman will be discussing with her ex. marriages these days, I don't know. bro she's your wife and you need to talk things over with her. marriage is all about communication, so don't allow an outsider to destroy your marriage. forget about the guy the guy, sit your wife down and talk things over with her. also make every effort to to work on yourself too

What I will say is
1. Be mindful of suggestions here many are not experienced , they talk in their feelings.
2. Just keep quiet and observe her a lot , don't go after her ex because u don't have business with him. Reduce alot u do. Changes will come.

Bro please sorry about this, but your story sounds similar to mine(Me and my girlfriend). Can a marriage survive without trust initially or can it be rebuilt, i love this girl and dont want to leave her, but i keep pushing my marriages further because of fear please i want your experienced advise on this.

rogovo20:
Hi Nlanders,

Happy Childrens day to all the daddies and mummies. Quick one, my wife and I are 6 years into our marriage with 2 kids, from the inception of our marital union we have always had issues that stems on trust, we both have that issue, and when I say trust, it has
to strictly do with her bickering into my phone and finding somethings not worth shouting or condemning me for, rather for communication, but she does otherwise. In her own case, it had to do with her ex she always talked about when we courted for a short period before marrying. She told me she called him to seek advise and confide in him, told her to stop and threatened fire n brimstone, but later found out that she saved the guys number with another name, gave me excuse as to the reason she did it.

One faithful day, a year after marriage, 5 years ago to be precise, she had gone to the school she worked as a teacher, there also she takes my dauther who resumes at the day care there. 2 hrs later, she called me crying over the phone that there was an accident, I asked what happened, she said my daughter of 9 months old then had a severe deep cut on her lips that I should rush down. Immediately, I left and branched at the clinic where she was being stitched, I felt for the poor baby, because at that age with such injury was not nice. Immediately, I told her that we'll leave for home for the day. The clinic was not far from the school where she parked her car, so I asked for the key so I could go ahead and pick the car so we can all be going home. On reaching the car, I saw her wedding ring kept in the glove compartment. Was surprised because she always wear it, and wore it out to work. At that moment, was more worried about my daughter.

We got home, and I asked her why her ring was in the car instead of her finger,she said the reason why she removed it was because last Sunday I was staring at a girls ass and she was mad about it. In which I did, but didnt do it deliberately or seemed too obvious, I use style look, and it was more of a reflex, I am human. I apologized that very day, but to think after then, she decided to remove her ring because of that? RED FLAG. I kept my mute. Once in a while throughout the years, when we still have arguments, I ask her that I still wonder why she removed her ring, that it cant be the issue of ass staring that would make it that bad for her to do that. She kept on saying it was the reason. 5 years into the marriage now, we were having a deep discussion, then she started saying things about what happened during our early stage of marriage, that she called her ex, because that was the only person he knew as a bf then, reason why she confided in him, that he talked about leaving his wife too with two kids and run away to Canada with her bla bla bla. But the major thing about her point was that, she discussed the issue of me stearing at another womans ass with him, that was when the guy started packaging some stories that entered her head, which was the reason why she removed that ring on that faithful day. Wow! She now stated that she noticed he was trying to seduce her by seeing her, that he went to the extent of saying, if I should come and see u at that ur place of work, I might be forced to kiss you, stating that was when she knew he was trying to use words to have him come around, so he could have sex with her. I told her that whats the probability that they have not been seeing, she said NEVER. But then I reminded her of the day we had issues, she came back from work late, and I asked where she had gone, she replied by saying, I went to go and have sex with someone that has a bigger joystick that urs. She later denounced that it was a joke to get at me, its possible,, and it could be true.

Nlanders, sorry for my long story, if i dont put it down well, u wont know my stance on this issue, I wont say am a saint when I started this marriage, but I have changed, this woman up until now has not, I have another post to share right after this. Now my question here is, I WANT to keep my family regardless of whatever, but is it wise to Bleep that ex up? Because of what she told me he said, to me hes trying to spoil me to get into my wife, thats if he has not, because I one way or the other found this her ex wife number. And I have evidences to prove that she has been in communication with my wife. Or should I just let God judge? Cos as I bad reach b4 I marry, I have never, and will never sleep with a married woman, nor will I ever try to sleep with an ex who is already married. Sincere opinion needed.

[color=#006600][/color]in my little experience,ur wife is d problem.....pls n pls dont confront d young man,bc if na me i go brake ur head...ur wife gave him room to cum in...believe me sir women r still move by wat dey hear...wat exactly is her problem...rite from the moment she acepted to marry u...she should av cut communication with him completely....my elder sis once told me she will cheat bc her husband does.....n i told her she was stupit n unreasonable...my advice bro....if u love ur wife.,,,work on her....seeking advice from ex is madness...instead of her to run to God...she is running to devil.....n work on ur self too.....d yansh u dey look no better pass ur wife...even if na queen eliza u f*ck....at d end u go cum...den u start feeling stupid,regretful n pile up ur judgement file....learn to enjoy her pu**y..afterall all cum na cum....non produces gold

For any marriage to work and stand the test of time, the wife should love the husband more than the husband loves the wife: wife 60%; husband 40%.

Guys don't force any girl to marry you o, don't marry any girl who feels she is doing you a favour marrying you. Marry the lady who loves you, knows and accepts your flaws, respects you and obeys your words.

Don't marry a girl just because she is beautiful, marry the lady that has been most loyal and supportive to you during your days of little beginning.

Don't marry a lady that finds it difficult to forgive u, because all ladies can forgive the man they love more than a 100 times but will never forgive the man they do not love even for once. Women operate more on emotion than men. Emotion control women than men...if you marry a Lady you begged to marry you, you will forever regret ever getting married.

Op, you directly or indirectly forced your wife to marry u and she is regretting not marrying her ex....and I am sure there were lovely and loyal ladies in your life you abandoned maybe because you felt they weren't beautiful enough, to marry your wife; many guys make this mistake in life.

Guys, good wife no be by beauty o, Annie Ididia isn't that beautiful, neither can she be compared to thousands of hot pretty ladies 2face dated or crossed path with, but 2face married Annie simply because Annie is the most loyal woman in his life ready to condone and tolerate his cheating habits and still love, respect and obey him without trying to cheat back on him in the name of revenge.

Guys wise up, marry the most loyal woman in your life who has stood by you irrespective of your mumuness

attitude is all you need at the moment...women 're difficult to control expclly whn they 're into another man. it's obvious u dnt trust her...let her knw that by your actions not words. e.g, advice her to play safe sex by putting condoms in her bag, put up all possible act that wll mke her understnd u doesn't trust her anymore. make her feel her guilt, found her uninteresting. possibly, detest making love to her. ensure she undstnd her incessant behavior caused it. Blv me, if she loves u and wants to save her marriage, she wll do everything possible to win your trust again. most importantly, u need the heart of a man to persevere.

I won't say anything but am sure you understand

Airforce1:
Your wife is not loyal

Is he loyal??

MICHEALADEX:
I won't say anything but am sure you understand

Alleged adultery is not a crime. Murder is.

midehi2:
that woman is stupiid ooo, what kind of mumu joke be dat say that to my man and he will never fvck you again

but at d same time, u can't say what d husband did in d early days of d marriage dat got her 2 say dat just 2 hurt him. I just think it's good 2 hear both sides, because a man looking at ass upandan 2 d point of his wife catching him staring sounds disrespectful 2 me.

emmykingsok:
seriously, I still can't understand what a married woman will be discussing with her ex. marriages these days, I don't know. bro she's your wife and you need to talk things over with her. marriage is all about communication, so don't allow an outsider to destroy your marriage. forget about the guy the guy, sit your wife down and talk things over with her. also make every effort to to work on yourself too

Isn't it obvious that it's the op action that drove her back to communication with her ex

I'd love to hear the woman's side.

buragidi:
Guy, this is a dangerous development. I have been in marriage for eight years and I have realised that one of the greatest threat to marriage is the issue of ex. I have about 5 ladies that we had dated at one time or the other, whom are now married, some with up to four kids, who are still contacting me and demanding for ssex. I know one of them, whose husband is so rich and had built house for her Mum, and bought her a Land cruiser, yet she wants to still commit adultery with me, who is equally married. In Nigeria, she was begging to buy me flight tickets from Abuja to Lagos and pay for hotel and all bills, but I declined, because I can't do married women. When she came to London, I don't know how she got my contact again, she was practically begging that we should meet, I had to avoid her completely. Honestly, I don't know why many married women find it difficult to break away completely from their exs. I am sorry to break your heart. I can tell you that there is 80% chance that the guy has been 4king your wife, for her to have the audacity of even displaying it to you. I think you are also weak as a nan in certain aspects. Even though my knows that I have the tendency to lick plates outside (she never caught me, but she knows my history b4 marriage and due knows I have very high libbido), she dare not tell me such nonsense about one ex. We are very close and best of friends and she is a very beautiful woman. I know men toast her and she tells me. But she can be mad to tell me she has gone to 4ck a ddik, she won't try it. Even immediately after the marriage, when her ex was always calling and asking after her, she would tell and how she told him to stop calling her and the guy will say they should just remain friends. She told the guy that the only male friend she has is her husband and whosoever her husband approves to be her friend, hence, he should be her husband friend before becoming her friend. The poor guy would not stop calling. I remember he called on a Saturday, I was at home. My wife just said, my husband is here now, just tell him you want to be a secret friend of his wife. That was the last time the guy disturbed her, to the best of my knowledge. So, your wife appears to be willing, the ex is willing and you are not in charge of the marriage. Too bad Bro. Honestly, too bad.

Ladies can you now see the reason why most men want to marry virgin as wife I have a friend who used to be a playboy, you won't believe that more than 6 different ex girlfriends of his that are married to rich guys now keep disturbing him for secret hookup, and these ladies are married o, the world is evolving, our women are catching up, nice 1

kelvinrhs:
I'm not thinking anymore.I'm putting it to u that u are d wife... Give me Holla Holla Holla if I'm right

You're wrong. Very very wrong.

aumeehn:
sit down with her in a civil manner my foot! Women naturally disrespect weaklings, he's the one in charge not the other way round, op slap the hell out of her ddirty olosho face and sent her packing! She wants to eat her cake and have it back, for this generation wallai na babymama go fit your kind cus your husband will die of heart attack if he dont have street ot! Confiding in her Ex cus he is her friend mtsw olosho!

If slapping your wife comes easy to you I can imagine the type of home you grew up in. May God heal your diseased mind.

OP, you really are immature. If u have issues in your marriage, is nairaland the place to seek help?
You give strangers the opportunity to call ur wife names (prostitute, LovePeddler blah blah) and that is the help you seek or want.
I read comments where the poster called your woman "stupid" another said she's a prostitute and you replied those comment like d victim u are acting out to be. Seriously

My advice: There are marriage counsellors, they do work, visit them. You and ur wife both. Until you can both agree to being at fault, it's not gonna get better. Don't try to act like a victim, She'll play d same victim card too and u won't resolve nothing.
So, visit a marriage counsellor, agree that u both played a part in the issues you are facing as a couple, then watch ur marriage get better.


Now get off NL with this childish attitude!

Who forced you guys into marriage? Because from your post, it can't be love.

Oyindidi:
I no understand



Make I follow put mouth for this your matter. You are a chronic cheat and your wife is seeking revenge. I av said it times without number that most men are the reason their wives are unfaithful. Now you're claiming you only look at a lady's backside.
You are the cause of the problem in your home.

As for your wife, she is plainly childish.
Both of you are cheats reason she replied with the big dick issh.

Be faithful to your wife Mr man. You've caused enough damage already.

Modified
Kids of Nl quoting me upandan abeg I no support the wife as she dey cheat but this op start the wahala for him family. If the wife talk her own side una no go too yab her.

Which married man doesn't look at other ladies/women backsides but not necessarily need to be a lust? That couldn't be the reason for the wife's misbehaviour, trust me.

kelvinrhs:
I think u are d wife. Your write up is very realistic

I'm not his wife. I've seen many of these type of situations so I can easily assume what could have happened.

babooshka:
but at d same time, u can't say what d husband did in d early days of d marriage dat got her 2 say dat just 2 hurt him. I just think it's good 2 hear both sides, because a man looking at ass upandan 2 d point of his wife catching him staring sounds disrespectful 2 me.

my own concern is her words, too suspicious

N0 girlfriend, how much more a wife of mine DARE tell me she went to screw a bigger jon-t than mine!...I REPEAT!...NONE!

Mtchew!...e be like say na baby mama sure pass now sef!

N0 girlfriend, how much more a wife of mine DARE tell me she went to screw a bigger jon-t than mine!...I REPEAT! NONE!

But op, is your SHOCK ABSORBER manufactured in jupiter??

missomo:
I think you have a very good woman as a wife. Let me tell you why.

Your wife obviously was very close to her ex. It is obvious that the issues she had in the marriage made her confide in someone she thought was a close friend. The fact that he was married too made her more comfortable. Unfortunately, he turned out to be an opportunist. Immediately she discovered he had ulterior motives she backed away and let it be. That's a good woman. People make mistakes and she didn't even commit adultery but fled from it.

She is a bit foolish and immature though but good because she told you. Most women won't ever tell you what happened but because she has a simple mind and an innocent spirit she did.

Poster, can you come out here and say truthfully that you haven't had an extra marital affair since you married her? She probably discovered one or two of your flings and she decided to retaliate during a fight by saying that she went to see a man. She didn't see any man. She came back late because she spent time with a female friend complaining and vowing to teach you a lesson. She said she was with a man simply to prove to you that she too can be found appealing by someone outside. No woman unless she is feeding you will ever admit or flaunt her infidelity to your face.

You should sit down with you wife and in a civil manner tell her what you think she has done wrong. You people should sort it all out in one night and there should be no secrets or secret movements between you two.

Lastly know that there is no perfect marriage. Don't listen to anyone here saying she is a prostitute because you know she isn't and that is why you wifed her. I wish you both the best.

God bless you.