I noticed that if u bite ur tongue accidentally then it hurts but if u bite it on purpose then it wont hurt... and u bite ur tongue didnt u? #IwantMyLike

Tolerance and overlooking

Understanding, tolerance, respect, and fear of God

Commitment, sacrifice, love, patience, patience & patience.
Women can be very unreasonable so be very patient

Tolerance.

Love isn't enough. Pu35y tightness. If not, he will love you and still cheat on you. Or why do you think men cheat on people they love? It's simply because the babes have had lots of men in there

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

No go put all ur trust and love for woman o! Dem dey Bleep married men wives anyhow in my area. No trust women o. Dey are the biggest bastards that ever liveth. One man in my area just caught another man on top him wife recently. Don't put all ur trust and love for women o!

adorablevic:
God, money, understanding...

So no love some ladies thinking en

As the man of the house, simply love your wife, don't let your love die, shower her with care, respect her, take her out once in a while, know how to say sorry when you are wrong, help her out in house chores because the house belongs to both of you, don't be proud or boossy in your marriage and be prayerful and God fearing. your wife will do anything to make you happy. marry someone you can tolerate her negative sides. make sure she knows your negative side, if she can tolerate them, every other thing is secondary.

God commanded men to shower love and care to their with wives. frankly speaking, any man that does all these to his wife don't need to beg for her respect. she must respect you and be submissive as the bible said but don't expect respect when you are not doing your own role just as they bible said. two can't work together except they agree. respect is earned. how you make your bed, so shall you lay on it. if you change, your partner will change too.

actions and reactions are equal and for things to move on in marriage, there must be good communication, understanding, listening ear, forgiving spirit and ready to adjust and amend your ways always. if not, you will turn the other partner into a nagging and depressed partner.

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

Check my nairaland threads.

1bkaye:
Hmm

I want to hear your thoughts on this

You need some juice and sauce

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

financial stability is the number 1 feature in present day marriage. Many marriages today fail due to financial pressure and monetary obligations.

So make sure your wife has something meaningful, viable and sustainable doing. It maybe business, good job, good and viable handwork, etc...she must not be idle.

Make sure she is on track before u tie the knot....dont wait until u marry her cos most ladies become lazy once they marry. so she must start doing something viable while u guys are courting....dont marry an idle or lazy lady no matter how cute or amazing her character is....being hardworking and industrious is a must have quality of a good wife. Lazy ladies make worst wives. Hardworking ladies are very easy to please and keep.

After setting the financial aspect, make sure u marry your friend...marry a lady who sees you as her king....dont marry any lady u begged and pressured to accept your marriage proposal.

marry the most loyal, the most supportive, the most hardworking, the most forgiving, the most friendly close female friends u are attracted to!

Don't ever marry a lazy, idle, jobless lady or else u will regret ever getting married!!

Yes, only romantic love is not enough to get married.

Sexual, emotional and intellectual compatibility count. These things will glue you together when that romantic feeling wanes (give it 2-5yrs).

Take a look at your mother in law physically, will you still be in love if your wife-to-be looks that way 20+ years from now? How about their family values, do they align with what you believe or want for your new family? Know that no matter what we choose to believe, you are marrying into a family, or as my people say, you are marrying a family.

How is your partner's financial intelligence? You may make all the money in the world, but if your wife is not intelligent financially, you will soon have problems or even run broke. Does she like saving or spending? Does she opt for alternatives or insists on brand names?

I dey come. make I read other contributions

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

Sir, I like your courage and sincerity to get it right. The best and most important you need to live with any person including your wife is KNOWLEDGE. If you know yourself and seek to know the other person, you will be able to live with the next person. Never seek to be understood first, always try to understand the other person and you can live with them. Know your temperament and the other persons.

Read books to help you. There is no similar marriage, but there are similar problems.

My simple submission....
1. Courtship is not where you chose who to marry! It is when you test your choice!
2. The beautiful thing is that the test in courtship is both ways, you are both a candidate and an examiner!
3. Even if you heard God, courtship is when you see how you match! What do you need to adjust and what is prayer point
4. You are both God's imperfect gift! Courtship is where you learn the kind of imperfection you are dealing with!
5. Courtship is where you come to and may have to run back to God and ask 'is this the one or I should expect another!
6. Oftentimes, courtship is God's major test for your own readiness! It can stretch you so hard your immaturity snaps
7. When you start having sex you have stopped courting, you have started marriage! That thing blinds too much
8. The more premarital sex goes in the world, the more marriages will fail because discipline and preparation is lost
9. Failed courtships account for a lot of failed marriages! The lost art of preparation is the reason for bad performance
10. Whilst I don't prescribe any length of time, you better get yourself some time before marriage to relate and familiarize! To appreciate who you both are on a basic level. To reasonably forecast the full weight of what your combination will be. To reasonably predict outcomes and appreciate signals of both pleasures and pressures!
11. Courtship must not end in marriage if you realize the choice was a mistake or the choice is corrupted! Next points will explain
12. God anointed King Saul but rejected Him! God can give you a partner and because of their personal choices reject them before marriage
13. I know you have been going out for so so and so years, that's not enough to marry a person you suddenly realize is outside GOD'S order for you
14. Don't lie to yourself about the truth in courtship, marriage tells bitter truths to those who lie such lie!
15. Don't stay in the relationship on blackmail when your heart knows it's over!

IamK2I:


Sir, I like your courage and sincerity to get it right. The best and most important you need to live with any person including your wife is KNOWLEDGE. If you know yourself and seek to know the other person, you will be able to live with the next person. Never seek to be understood first, always try to understand the other person and you can live with them. Know your temperament and the other persons.

Read books to help you. There is no similar marriage, but there are similar problems.

tobianthony:
When it comes to marriage first things first you need to know yourself and you need to be painfully realistic with yourself .

Finances - very very key ... Ask your partner to write down at least five financial principles they believe in and practice . Nobody has enough money to do what they want all the time it's all about managing resources .

Spirituality - if you guys are not on the same level spiritually you need to resolve this .

Sexuality - everybody more than often cheats one way or the other ...do not let this bug you to the point of insanity just take it for what it is and respect boundaries . Make sure your partner is on the same level with you when it comes to sex . If you are a level 9 on the freak meter do not marry a level 5 or below . If you do be prepared to come down to her level or cheat .

Family - the average Nigerian woman expects you to take care of her family from time to time in one way or the other ...draw the line according to your capacity .

Life goals - Be clear about where you are going in life and see if they support you . if your partner is not an entrepreneur or more like a salary inclined person be careful and expose her to your world if it's the other way do the same . be open with your finances . Trust me the day you die you die you do not want her to start running around like a headless chicken looking for money .

Children - don't let anyone steamroll you into having children if you can't afford to ...we men need to stop this attitude of making babies we can't​ afford to feed . Make sure you are clear on how many kids you want and do not ...I repeat do not exceed that number . Three is the maximum .

Conflict resolution - make sure your partner is emotionally experienced and intelligent to say I'm sorry and move on . You must learn to forgive and forget . Your wife go do you many things that will make you want to run her over with your car and vice versa just forgive and do your best .

My dude it's an adventure many have entered and some failed while some people succeeded . Nobody has a perfect marriage .

If you think you are ready take your partner to justice Idowu's court at igbosherie Lagos high court and sit down and watch divorce proceedings and just note the mistakes that people make .

Even if you do all this still might not go according to plan .

Marriage is a Ponzi scheme and the best thing in life at the same time ...those who take advantage of the system will enjoy it .

All the best .

@OP, This guy has given you the real manual. These are the ingredients you need 85% to make a happy marriage.

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

Forget about love in marriage, it fluctuates.
Marriage is about sacrifice, commitment and respect foremost.

Unfortunately marriage as we know it is dead.

tobianthony:
When it comes to marriage first things first you need to know yourself and you need to be painfully realistic with yourself.... Contd.

You've spoken well. Thumbs up

Idk but to me I think both people should have strong work ethic, strong sense of responsibility, and strong sense of commitment. You have those traits as well as love and you have a formula for working through hard times, understanding that it's more than just a matter of "being" in love and a willingness to honor the vow and vision you have even when you change or feel less "in love"...when I ask couples who've been married 20, 30 years they say that there were times they didn't like each other or didn't feel "in love" with each other but they honored the vow and worked to get back to those feelings (that's different than those who just endure bad marriages for the sake of saying they stayed together but make no effort to improve their marriage). Btw...no one should be #relationshipgoals till they've crossed the 20 year mark imo. You don't get to the Golden years by accident or luck...it doesn't just work out for them. They worked it out so that's why I think a strong work ethic is key. You see all these get rich quick n easy guys bet they'll view marriage the same way.

LalaLushness:
Trust
Finances
Children

Ehen..

Thinking

Proudlyngwa:


Forget about love in marriage, it fluctuates.
Marriage is about sacrifice, commitment and respect foremost.

Unfortunately marriage as we know it is dead.

Na mehn, don't say that...I think it's still possible. Just depends on the people. I have many friends in healthy strong marriages. I think that what we see in media skews our reality.

Find someone who understands you and you understand, a lady that can respect you and a lady

you can love. A lady that's very open with you, no pretence, no unnecessary forming.a lady that

can love you and sincerely encourage you even when you are short of funds without going all

about borrowing money from friend and relatives for flimsy reasons, a woman that is willing to

Learn. Find a woman that fears and loves God.

daylyt:


Ehen..

Thinking

Sir

Perspectives:
Marriage is one of the next thing in my life right now and I don't want to get it wrong.

What are those things that can convince a person to tie a knot without regretting later in the future?

Are there signs that should be looked out for?

What are those red flags that shouldn't be ignored?

Married people, about to married, people in serious relationship, please we need your input.

To get married understand yourself first. What are your weaknesses, what are your strength, what are the things you can't stand in a person? Master yourself before you seek to master another. When you are armed with appropriate answers to those questions, you can then go out using them to sieve through different choices you meet on the way. Every failed relationship you ever go into should assist you in knowing yourself more. Ask yourself, what went wrong, what is it that make that relationship failed? What could I have done better. Focus more on self. Looking for a suitable partner involves a diligent search. Stay away from premarital sex. It beclouds your judgement and often obscure your ability to properly analyse your partner. Above all pray and let God be your guide. Hope you believe he exists? He does and your opinion won't change that. Seek his counsel.

@OP one rule....on marriage:

Don't believe the num 1 lie: 4 better for worse TILL ....,.,,,,,,, do "u" path

You can leave at anytime.........it's not do or die, live by this rule and you would be alright.

Tank me later ...........

If u get in and it works for u, u tell ur story , and if u get in, n it doesn't work, u also ve a story to tell

Either way, u alone can tell your story.

money...is what its about

Pemmy15:


Na mehn, don't say that...I think it's still possible. Just depends on the people. I have many friends in healthy strong marriages. I think that what we see in media skews our reality.

Leave that talk, traditional marriage and by extension family is dying. What we have are union of people with mutual interests living together this days, yes a very high percentage of marriages are still stable, but when the divorce rate is logarithmical and time is linear, know that a very dangerous trend is kicking in.

Before you marry, you need to sit down and outline your plan for a married life, if you are marrying for love, sorry for you. Remember sacrifice and commitments are key.

Piiko:
I want to hear your thoughts on this

Lol well it helps to have it, but it definitely isn’t sufficient enough on its own, plus it can be too much of a fleeting emotion to be getting married just because of it. Standard things to have in addition are financial stability, personalities that aren’t necessarily the same but work well with each other, a willingness to compromise and a level of respect and trust for one another, in my opinion

Love is actually the last thing with to be considered in marriage,you just have to find someone who doesn't have your uncompromisables as a distinct flaw, then at least be Friends

Nobody quite knows the full answer. Simply because everybody is different.

(A) Be very realistic. Ensure your dreams, aspirations & expectations are realistic. Know your own capabilities too.

(B) Ensure you are ready for the commitment: financially, emotional maturity, tolerance, compromise, etc

(C)Know your future spouse: her expectations, dreams, character, her upbringing, family background/expectations, etc. To avoid someone on a different wavelength as you: including sexuality, family planning, religious attitudes, resilience in the face of challenges etc. compatibility is crucial.

(D)Believe: Ensure you both believe you can make it work. No reluctance. Through shared experiences, religious faith, support network and so on.

(E) Do not ignore certain warning signs. People do not change for the better after marriage most times. For the worse if anything.