₦airaland Forum

Try to work things out and if it doesn't workout, then I suggest you move on.

Benita27:
I have never followed a boyfriend on any social media platform beside whatsapp which seem private. Never used a bf's pic as dp, and that doesn't mean I double-date.

Whether I'm weird?, I don't think so...I think certain things should be kept private till a ring is on the finger.

smart girl..I will only flaunt a guy on social media a day to our wedding

valnelly:
As I write this.... I'm filled with so much hurt and regret.
My girlfriend whom I thought would be patient enough for me so I could get married to her has broken up with me.
I met her while I was writing my final year project in Yabatech about 4 years ago. We were cool together and the distance between us didn't mean that much to me even though she stays in ikorodu and I stay in surulere. The problem started when I gained admission to Unilag due to my decision for self development. I'm 31 years old and she is 25.
During the last 2 years I noticed she has changed drastically I notice that she now has stuffs like new shoes and new bags. Which of course ordinarily she wouldn't have been able to afford. The only time we see is on weekends and that's because she is still in Yabatech schooling and sometime when she comes like that she acts funny with phone calls. The way she talks to some certain people so suspicious. But none the less she always feels cool with me and always wants to be around me. Could it be because of sex?

I noticed that she behaves single at school and even on social media. We do not chat or use social media, we added each other but at a point I had to take her off because she doesn't portray any thing that shows we are actually dating...i took her off all platform of social media and she wasn't perturbed about it. I don't actually know what's going on in school or her place of residence but I have a very strong feeling that she has been cheating on me and some other guy have been buying her things I can't get for her. But on top of this she was actually looking for school fees and I was deploying all methods to make sure she pays this on time and that alone made me confused!. We had a heated argument on Sunday and she was yelling and talking back at me... I left the house for her in annoyance only for me to come back and she is gone. She left a note that says that she is no longer interested. Guys please what should I do. I love this girl so frigging much. I can't sleep or think straight right now. It's almost impossible for me to start all over again. I feel hopeless. Please guys your advice!

Well, the signs have been there which you ignored. At least she had the guts to tell you its over. Move on. Finish ya schooling and get yasef beefed up financially cox everything rotates around it whether girls agree or not. Just deal with it bro. It aint easy though but you have to.

BuddhaPalm:
In all fairness, a 25-year old girl shouldn't be made to wait for anyone...

She is in the prime of her life after which it's mostly downhill from there.

She might wait for 5 more years and after you've gotten a hold of yourself, hopefully, you will now find one ridiculous reason to dump her.

The only advice I'll give you is to use this incident to fuel your fury to "succeed" - whatever that means to you.

In relationships leading to marriage, our PRIMARY role is that of PROVIDER.

There's no getting around it.

So don't blame a girl if she gravitates towards men who can provide.

And on a final note, you will still find lots of new loves.

Truss me on that one...

Way back in 2008, I thought girls were beautiful then. But right now in 2017, I see some girls and I am speechless.

They are so beautiful in ways you can't even describe.

The Universe just keeps outdoing itself.

You will meet women you will love more than this one.

Just take the lesson.

Your statement "
Way back in 2008, I thought girls were beautiful then. But right now in 2017, I see some girls and I am speechless.

They are so beautiful in ways you can't even describe.

The Universe just keeps outdoing itself"

Is truly factual.

God bless bro... Cj

Benita27:
Fùckboys are very easy to spot in the game, and I don't pay a blind eye to their activities around me. How do one know he's serious if he comes with the "Ring" proposal immediate?, use the "No sex before marriage" tool, and he'll disappear. No fùckboy would stick around if he isn't getting the pussy.

U nailed it.

I recommend Novalin for the insomnia & Roro (Baba Blue) for the heartbreak

Pray for that girl and bless her for she did u good by dumping u now that u ain't got money

Finally, get money, upgrade and enjoy your life bro.

It is a blessing in disguise, she has just motivated u to channel your time to something more meaningful. When u are successful you don't go around worshiping women.

Antina:
U nailed it.

Nailed what?
Talk your own and leave that which have been said... Cj

pocohantas:
You see, some of these ladies would have loved to remain with the love of their lives for however long it takes him to be ready...but, you people will not stop putting pressure on them. You have dated her for 4years? 4 years of constant testing and tasting. Now she is 25...Very soon emusmith will remind her she is 28 and single.

Don't worry bro, it's not your fault that things are this way. One thing you should understand is, most ladies don't have that patience of dating one guy for years. It's a risk in this Nigeria where they keep reminding you of biological clock and the guy can change his mind.



I know how you feel, i'll advise you channel your time into lucrative ventures. Don't go begging with catarrh falling out of your nose. That'll spell desperation and would turn her off, you'll lose your respect. Don't bug her with calls, call once and let go. If she deems it necessary to call, fine. If she doesn't...life goes on.

I like this.... Thump up

Baba go beer parlor and drink away ur sorrow, love no dey finish u will still find another one day... For me, u ar supposed to use those time u spent wit her nd hustle fo ur sef, women ar distraction, its hard fo dem to stay loyal to u. Another tin my brother is i dnt blame her u know ladies look out fo wat impresses dem and can easily fall fo dem.... As u see me so I no fit kill my sef bcus of love so foget bout hr nd move on wit ur life...

Go and make money, later you'll thank me...

valnelly:
As I write this.... I'm filled with so much hurt and regret.
My girlfriend whom I thought would be patient enough for me so I could get married to her has broken up with me.
I met her while I was writing my final year project in Yabatech about 4 years ago. We were cool together and the distance between us didn't mean that much to me even though she stays in ikorodu and I stay in surulere. The problem started when I gained admission to Unilag due to my decision for self development. I'm 31 years old and she is 25.
During the last 2 years I noticed she has changed drastically I notice that she now has stuffs like new shoes and new bags. Which of course ordinarily she wouldn't have been able to afford. The only time we see is on weekends and that's because she is still in Yabatech schooling and sometime when she comes like that she acts funny with phone calls. The way she talks to some certain people so suspicious. But none the less she always feels cool with me and always wants to be around me. Could it be because of sex?

I noticed that she behaves single at school and even on social media. We do not chat or use social media, we added each other but at a point I had to take her off because she doesn't portray any thing that shows we are actually dating...i took her off all platform of social media and she wasn't perturbed about it. I don't actually know what's going on in school or her place of residence but I have a very strong feeling that she has been cheating on me and some other guy have been buying her things I can't get for her. But on top of this she was actually looking for school fees and I was deploying all methods to make sure she pays this on time and that alone made me confused!. We had a heated argument on Sunday and she was yelling and talking back at me... I left the house for her in annoyance only for me to come back and she is gone. She left a note that says that she is no longer interested. Guys please what should I do. I love this girl so frigging much. I can't sleep or think straight right now. It's almost impossible for me to start all over again. I feel hopeless. Please guys your advice!

Forget her and focus on your dreams belive me a better girl will come

Benita27:
Your assumptions that you noticed she possessed things she could not afford like; handbags and shoes is funny, are you saying she's an orphan or doesn't have a relative who could give her money for those?. The only thing that validates she might be cheating was the calls you were suspecting. As for her not adding you on social media beside whatsapp is a good thing. Were you expecting her to flaunt you on social media 'cause you two are dating?...Silly girls do that .

N just wen i tot ive heard d worse from u, you pull another one of your parochial classics!
Smh

@ op, the signs have been obvious, u were just too blindly in luv to see.
Try as you may, only a few ladies out there can hold off n turn down an opportunity for a more confortable instant life with another when pitched agaisnt an upcoming Male species.

Hard Truth 1:
She hasnt been yours all along( u lost her a long time ago) n was just tagging along considering u aint always up in her space n u only get to see on some weekends. I know some other weekends, she gives flimsy excuses why she cant come over.

You Knew but was too sissy to confront her because u were scared of two things: what u wud find out n losing her after d outburst( which just happened now. Talk about putting forth dooms day)

Hard Truth 2:

Here r the possible situations with her:

1. She'z into high class runz( has one or two big boys taking care of her financial needs n she pays in kind. Most likely n daz why she receives coded calls. She tells them her Dad forbids her spending d weekend in sch n uses dat as excuse to come see u)

Or there is one she really luvs n told him @ d beginning about u n he's been pestering her to dump u. She been looking for an opportunity


Or low class runs( service different random guys for pay) or a combination of both

2. There is some1 she holds in high regards on SM. Maybe one of her private financial or she is one of d very few reserved type that dont do SM PDA


Recommendation:

Yes ofcos, She just did you a favour by ending it( crude but advantagous awakening) cos u nida had d guts nor d balls to. You must pick the pieces n move on but not before you find out what exactly she was hiding. It wud help u know the kinda snake you've bn wit n help your healing process also. N u wud be wiser for it with ur nxt.

Dont know how u wud do it considering d distace but you must find out.

What u wud not wano do is go begging her like a needy bleeping nerd whose singular idiosyncrasy is a penchant for some wet freaking cleft

Focus on your buks n mk sure in d nearest future ,she regrets these ways of hers when she sees or hears about u fvcking success.

Now be gone

Move on bro. Lives goes on.

Victornezzar:
Bro dats not an issue 2 get worried over....just forget her.....delete everything about her
Infact ur lucky cos u no go dey think about anything again.....Make money nd look 4 someone better

This ^^^^^^^

Na naija girl matter I go dey carry for head?

If you truly love her, you will go for her... Have once being in your shoe too buh i couldn't make any amendment because it doesn't worth it, i bet you don't wanna know my story. Try n approach her, beg her n tell her you are sorry, make her realise four years relationship is not a child play and if she proves so stubborn, you shouldn't relent in begging her n pleading with tears because am sure if you guys get back together fortunately then, the relationship will wax stronger n it will lead to marriage... I don't know the level of your relationship with her, does she know your parent and also do you know hers, are you planning on getting married to her next year or soonest and also do you have any plan for her..... If you dont mind lets chat

bonnyhope:
why would ur gf denies u sex when she is not a virgin, if she is a virgn i will be patient wit her till d d-day
but i dont tink any rite tinkin guy will allow dat. what is d justificatn for not submitin d stuf.

She is a secondary virgin.

Some would be fast to say "forget about her and move on ". Do you think it's that easy?

We haven't heard from the girl?


Deal with mature minds. Set out time to analyze the situation, think of what you've done to her in the course of your friendship.

Benita27:
What I stated is relative, and that was why I said "Silly girls" indulge in such, 'cause no matter the love both parties are professing to each other, anything could go wrong which would bring you back to square one. So in a situation you tagged him/her as boo/bae with all sorta flattering comments which your social media contacts are well aware of, then suddenly there is a breakup, you delete his/her existence, answer questions as to what happened, and the next time you're in another...you repeat the same rubbish. How will those who want to take you seriously do so?, obviously, you could be sending 'Mr right' far away with your activities. Personally, I don't even us "I'm in a relationship".

I totally support all your comments.

Benita27:
What I stated is relative, and that was why I said "Silly girls" indulge in such, 'cause no matter the love both parties are professing to each other, anything could go wrong which would bring you back to square one. So in a situation you tagged him/her as boo/bae with all sorta flattering comments which your social media contacts are well aware of, then suddenly there is a breakup, you delete his/her existence, answer questions as to what happened, and the next time you're in another...you repeat the same rubbish. How will those who want to take you seriously do so?, obviously, you could be sending 'Mr right' far away with your activities. Personally, I don't even us "I'm in a relationship".

ur so on point babe, some yrs bk I did an introduction wit my den fiancé we were all over d media later we ended d r/ship ,wenever pple on social media ask after him I bcom so ashame as thou it a mockery my nxt guy complaind of me nt bein proud of him nd wantin toasters on social media I told him to chill oo hw many tyms I go embarrass maself ,for me I aint flaunting till am officially dat persons MRS

Blame the economy, bro.

If you were paid, that babe would tag you all day like a bug.
But now, you're struggling; this is how it sometimes goes.
A broke man should cement his heart with steel because girls can leave you anytime.

But its all good. Now, you know her love for you wasn't real.
Keep hustling and look out for your real love.

Let that girl go. Pls.

hmmm

valnelly:
As I write this.... I'm filled with so much hurt and regret.
My girlfriend whom I thought would be patient enough for me so I could get married to her has broken up with me.
I met her while I was writing my final year project in Yabatech about 4 years ago. We were cool together and the distance between us didn't mean that much to me even though she stays in ikorodu and I stay in surulere. The problem started when I gained admission to Unilag due to my decision for self development. I'm 31 years old and she is 25.
During the last 2 years I noticed she has changed drastically I notice that she now has stuffs like new shoes and new bags. Which of course ordinarily she wouldn't have been able to afford. The only time we see is on weekends and that's because she is still in Yabatech schooling and sometime when she comes like that she acts funny with phone calls. The way she talks to some certain people so suspicious. But none the less she always feels cool with me and always wants to be around me. Could it be because of sex?

I noticed that she behaves single at school and even on social media. We do not chat or use social media, we added each other but at a point I had to take her off because she doesn't portray any thing that shows we are actually dating...i took her off all platform of social media and she wasn't perturbed about it. I don't actually know what's going on in school or her place of residence but I have a very strong feeling that she has been cheating on me and some other guy have been buying her things I can't get for her. But on top of this she was actually looking for school fees and I was deploying all methods to make sure she pays this on time and that alone made me confused!. We had a heated argument on Sunday and she was yelling and talking back at me... I left the house for her in annoyance only for me to come back and she is gone. She left a note that says that she is no longer interested. Guys please what should I do. I love this girl so frigging much. I can't sleep or think straight right now. It's almost impossible for me to start all over again. I feel hopeless. Please guys your advice!

bros forget her, let's start our own.... You will overcome the heart break

Chibydinho:
To say you're hopeless is the height of stupidity as a man, sorry I said that. But Boss, this is not the time to count losses.
.
Learn one thing today about ladies, too much attention dey blow their head even if na she fall for you first. That is why even if you no be fvckboy, you need a side chick always as a way to deflect the whole attention from ya main babe.
.
Finally, on ya case, you've got to be a man. Love doesn't beg, so don't beg her. Try and find ways to improve yourself and be happy. To be happy will drag babes to you and don't forget, you need to learn how to handle them or you fall victim again.
.
I wish you well on ya recovery journey but sin no more.. Oh! You said was it coz of sex? Like you dey deny am the stuff.. Chai.. Be a slay guy and enjoy as long as it last coz more of these relationship are just medium term.

may God bless you man. I like that part you wrote "you need a side chick always as a way to deflect the whole attention from your main babe"... Very true

Do you prefer her leaving now or leaving later in the marriage. That love you talk about is called infatuation. there is an attachment of interest and when the expectations are not being met the love wanes. move on brother and forget the girl

This is why I say don't date untill u are ready to marry. Young guys should focus on purpose and making money. To avoid all this.

The girl even try by dating u for 4 years. Now she should be about 29 and the op is still in uni. By the time he graduates and spend time looking for a good job and save enough for marriage, girl will be a woman pushing towards menopause!

By the way the guy could change his mind any time!

So in my opinion the girl did what any sensible young woman would have done.

Op focus on been successful enough to marry then and only they can u start dating.

Viking007:
You need to set Your priorities straight oga op. You're 31! Still in school & You're feeling hopeless because a girl dumped You?
Ok.

lol am telling you, at 31 no backup? That's crazy

Benita27:
Your assumptions that you noticed she possessed things she could not afford like; handbags and shoes is funny, are you saying she's an orphan or doesn't have a relative who could give her money for those?. The only thing that validates she might be cheating was the calls you were suspecting. As for her not adding you on social media beside whatsapp is a good thing. Were you expecting her to flaunt you on social media 'cause you two are dating?...Silly girls do that.

RED ALERT; CHEATER SPOTTED

Viking007:
You need to set Your priorities straight oga op. You're 31! Still in school & You're feeling hopeless because a girl dumped You?
Ok.

Absolutely!
He should focus on building himself not dating.

The only surest way to avoid this shii is to have a backup or a side chick even when you get a steady babe. As your babe eff up, you won't even think twice before calling another one to come.
This shii happen to my man..... Hyn nearly die. My man start dey smoke weed pass fela.. I told him to wake up.....

valnelly:
As I write this.... I'm filled with so much hurt and regret.
My girlfriend whom I thought would be patient enough for me so I could get married to her has broken up with me.
I met her while I was writing my final year project in Yabatech about 4 years ago. We were cool together and the distance between us didn't mean that much to me even though she stays in ikorodu and I stay in surulere. The problem started when I gained admission to Unilag due to my decision for self development. I'm 31 years old and she is 25.
During the last 2 years I noticed she has changed drastically I notice that she now has stuffs like new shoes and new bags. Which of course ordinarily she wouldn't have been able to afford. The only time we see is on weekends and that's because she is still in Yabatech schooling and sometime when she comes like that she acts funny with phone calls. The way she talks to some certain people so suspicious. But none the less she always feels cool with me and always wants to be around me. Could it be because of sex?

I noticed that she behaves single at school and even on social media. We do not chat or use social media, we added each other but at a point I had to take her off because she doesn't portray any thing that shows we are actually dating...i took her off all platform of social media and she wasn't perturbed about it. I don't actually know what's going on in school or her place of residence but I have a very strong feeling that she has been cheating on me and some other guy have been buying her things I can't get for her. But on top of this she was actually looking for school fees and I was deploying all methods to make sure she pays this on time and that alone made me confused!. We had a heated argument on Sunday and she was yelling and talking back at me... I left the house for her in annoyance only for me to come back and she is gone. She left a note that says that she is no longer interested. Guys please what should I do. I love this girl so frigging much. I can't sleep or think straight right now. It's almost impossible for me to start all over again. I feel hopeless. Please guys your advice!

Let her be dude and move on.Face your self development and let her go develop herself.

But wait o...did you just say you can't sleep? come closer...just come closer and gently...

Benita27:
Your assumptions that you noticed she possessed things she could not afford like; handbags and shoes is funny, are you saying she's an orphan or doesn't have a relative who could give her money for those?. The only thing that validates she might be cheating was the calls you were suspecting. As for her not adding you on social media beside whatsapp is a good thing. Were you expecting her to flaunt you on social media 'cause you two are dating?...Silly girls do that.

I hate some silly responses on Nairaland which this belongs. This feminist judgement is out of point. Please don't contribute to reasonable and matured discuss like this in future.