₦airaland Forum

greyboy5000:
don't mind her she is trying to dodge many of my questions
But I was tired of repetition
So I stopped

This mindset has driven a lot of ladies to depression 2day. If she wants a billionaire 4a husband,fine n good. Its her choice. But don't berate a man who makes his legit money,however little it maybe. Her kind might marry a fraudster becos of such mindset.

ephi123:
Poor OP has deactivated, you people are wicked on this Nairaland, chai

She wanted attention. She got it. Couldn't handle it. According to her, if you're broke you're not intelligent AKA dumb which she clearly is and everyone else on nairaland.

Jelal0007:
This mindset has driven a lot of ladies to depression 2day. If she wants a billionaire 4a husband,fine n good. Its her choice. But don't berate a man who makes his legit money,however little it maybe. Her kind might marry a fraudster becos of such mindset.

Too many series, movies and keeping up with the kardashians. Yesterday was who virgin epp?, Today na financial buoyant. Tomorrow na I need a God fearing man.

TheLordIsGr8:
There is just so much wrong with your piece. There is blackmail, logical error, factual inconsistency, wishful thinking, undefined terms. And they are all packed so densely that it takes critical reflection to unpack it all.


1. Undefined term:
You failed to define what you mean by financially buoyant.

2. Wishful thinking:
This is clearly wishful thinking. Like seriously, what percentage of the population of Nigerian women are in this category? I know you'd like every woman to be financially buoyant so that they won't have to be at the "mercy" of a man. But alas! Even men are on a tightrope.

3. Logical inconsistency:
First of all, we have to consider what makes women call guys "broke". Its simply because they've asked for something and the guy couldn't afford it. If they know the guy can afford it but won't buy it, they'll call him stingy. So we got our working definition of broke.

The major flaw in your this statement is that you assume that ONLY women who can't afford something for themselves ask men for it. Wrong! What you're saying is akin to claiming that people who have lots of money don't steal. Ask stealer odua or yakubu saraki. So in case you don't know, whether a woman is financially buoyant or not, she'll still ask a man for gifts.





I really did agree with some of the points in the body of your piece, but your conclusion is an epic fail.

1. Blackmail:
In your world, its okay for a woman to "sometimes" lower her standards so she can meet a man halfway. But when a guy does go after a woman who is lower in the financial ladder, he IS. low standards personified. You could not even countenance the fact that a guy could lower his standards to meet a woman halfway. You once again bring up the tested and proven technique of blackmail. Yes! Women live on blackmail. Shaming men into doing something they won't do ordinarily.

"You're such a loser going after broke girls," says a woman like you.

So a man thinks to himself,
"If I'm not to be considered a loser, then I have to go for "big" girls.
And if I'm to go for big girls, I have to meet their standards.
And if I'm to meet their standards I have to work my ass off and bring home the money
And if I can't get that money I'm looking for then I'm a failure.
So I have to keep trying and trying and trying...."all so he could please a woman

This is a woman's most effective weapon guys. In case you're reading just to learn. Let no woman blackmail you. If you want your bed warm at night, contrary to what OP thinks, you can get two for a penny, plus you get to enjoy your hard-earned money.


OP, the world doesn't work the way you wish for it to work. There will be broke guys and broke ladies. And broke ladies will far outnumber the broke guys because nature has made it so that the guys can take up practically any kind of job. And for the few juicy job out there, there are only a few ladies who will actually get them compared to guys. So financial standards or not, a woman who wants a man for a man's sake will go after a man. A woman who wants a man for money's sake will go after a man with money. It matters not what her account balance is.

God Will Bless You and your Generation More than you can ever imagine, in fact u are my new mentor now man! I never wanted to quote anybody here since I've been on this thread but you, You deserve to be acknowledged! you are an enlightened man jare!

You are indeed a legend. All these girls calling themselves women are really confused.

IamLEGEND1:
[b] what is this nonsense?
financial compatibility my big,black,hairy ass.
i don't see dem hoes factoring financial compatibility into their decision making when they spread their legs like rumour for dudes with 30billion for the akant.

this whole writeup only helps validate fears that guys have long as regards to dating financially well-to-do women - that Sooner or later,pride kicks in.
Men around the world on average earn way more than women do,but dating a financially deficient woman who earns less than we do has never been a problem....... everyone is considered to have an equal stake in said relationship. we support and stand by our women come rain come sunshine

meanwhile a woman who does that is considered a sugar mummy but those who refuse to date economically disadvantaged guys are now considered determined,21st century women with goals.
i'll tell you what those women are: spineless,reverse gold-diggers masquerading as modern women.

and you'll still find some crazy keyboard feminazis screaming 'DEATH TO THE PATRIARCHY' & joining 'free the nipple_' marches around the world. [/b]

Jelal0007:
This mindset has driven a lot of ladies to depression 2day. If she wants a billionaire 4a husband,fine n good. Its her choice. But don't berate a man who makes his legit money,however little it maybe. Her kind might marry a fraudster becos of such mindset.

Thank you. I mentioned earlier that the social problem we have has eaten deep into our thought process. This is one reason why many don't even appreciate anything good, many are quick to talk down anything as long as it's not upto what the "society" expects. Silly individuals came defending the OP and talking about her making a point of people having right to their choices. Everyone knows this. We all have a choice and owe no one explanation but the truth remains the silly lady created a thread to talk down the struggling male gender. it would have made better sense if she didn't refer to any gender in particular. I wonder why seun and his mods push threads that creates Gender/ status conflicts to the FP. It seems Seun does not know the effect of this on his business in the long term

sekxy:
this is very good...those ignoramus will come to shout olosho...and all whatnot..but never mind the truth shall always prevail

What truth? Where are the facts in what she the OP posted? The ignoramus here is you becos ur understanding about life is pathetic. It isn't about money all the time u hear? Get that in2 ur head. If u want dangote 4a husband,its ur choice. But don't ever berate a man who makes his money (legit money) however little it maybe. A rich man can go broke and a broke guy can become rich and stay rich all his life. Adenuga was a taxi driver in New York b4 he became a billionaire 2day. Change ur ideals,its sooo backward.

vanpeele:
Too many series, movies and keeping up with the kardashians. Yesterday was who virgin epp?, Today na financial buoyant. Tomorrow na I need a God fearing man.

Lol

Check her very well she must be one of those bitter girls already over ripe for marriage but look for excuse like her original post to just her current marital status. When time reach na "any man" she go marry.

toastedbread:
she should be there waiting for a guy who works in a fortune 500 coy, lives on the 15th floor, makes 6 figures (with the first digit an even number),... and later she'll blame one innocent devil.





PS:
go watch THINK LIKE A MAN

TheLordIsGr8:
There is just so much wrong with your piece. There is blackmail, logical error, factual inconsistency, wishful thinking, undefined terms. And they are all packed so densely that it takes critical reflection to unpack it all.


1. Undefined term:
You failed to define what you mean by financially buoyant.

2. Wishful thinking:
This is clearly wishful thinking. Like seriously, what percentage of the population of Nigerian women are in this category? I know you'd like every woman to be financially buoyant so that they won't have to be at the "mercy" of a man. But alas! Even men are on a tightrope.

3. Logical inconsistency:
First of all, we have to consider what makes women call guys "broke". Its simply because they've asked for something and the guy couldn't afford it. If they know the guy can afford it but won't buy it, they'll call him stingy. So we got our working definition of broke.

The major flaw in your this statement is that you assume that ONLY women who can't afford something for themselves ask men for it. Wrong! What you're saying is akin to claiming that people who have lots of money don't steal. Ask stealer odua or yakubu saraki. So in case you don't know, whether a woman is financially buoyant or not, she'll still ask a man for gifts.





I really did agree with some of the points in the body of your piece, but your conclusion is an epic fail.

1. Blackmail:
In your world, its okay for a woman to "sometimes" lower her standards so she can meet a man halfway. But when a guy does go after a woman who is lower in the financial ladder, he IS. low standards personified. You could not even countenance the fact that a guy could lower his standards to meet a woman halfway. You once again bring up the tested and proven technique of blackmail. Yes! Women live on blackmail. Shaming men into doing something they won't do ordinarily.

"You're such a loser going after broke girls," says a woman like you.

So a man thinks to himself,
"If I'm not to be considered a loser, then I have to go for "big" girls.
And if I'm to go for big girls, I have to meet their standards.
And if I'm to meet their standards I have to work my ass off and bring home the money
And if I can't get that money I'm looking for then I'm a failure.
So I have to keep trying and trying and trying...."all so he could please a woman

This is a woman's most effective weapon guys. In case you're reading just to learn. Let no woman blackmail you. If you want your bed warm at night, contrary to what OP thinks, you can get two for a penny, plus you get to enjoy your hard-earned money.


OP, the world doesn't work the way you wish for it to work. There will be broke guys and broke ladies. And broke ladies will far outnumber the broke guys because nature has made it so that the guys can take up practically any kind of job. And for the few juicy job out there, there are only a few ladies who will actually get them compared to guys. So financial standards or not, a woman who wants a man for a man's sake will go after a man. A woman who wants a man for money's sake will go after a man with money. It matters not what her account balance is.

Nice One .

Her type is a poison to any man's life. They death packaged pretty clothing.

Fadman4real:
What happened to love?
What happened to faithfulness?

This is nothing but poverty mentality which is most prevalent among our Nigerian ladies. The most important thing they look out for is how much is a guy worth forgetting everything else.

Let me tell you something you don't know we live in a poor country relatively. Most of us youths who finish school with a good grade find it difficult to get a good job and settle for a little job to put food on d table and keep hustling for a better job and even when you eventually find it. The pay is much smaller than what your peers receive in developed countries for doing the same thing you do. So relatively it would take a young man 10 years to achieve what his mates would achieve if he were in a developed country. Being broke here is not as a result of lack of intelligence or laziness but as a result of the type of situation he/she has found himself.

If you are lucky as a lady to get a good job and have a pretty good life that doesn't mean you shouldn't be humble enough to let love have its way and date someone who loves and treats you right. If someone that really loves you approaches you and is one of those struggling you won't even give him a chance and even if you do it would be with an ultimatum. Make it or I leave.

What happens if in d future the big boy you married loses everything and is broke. You would treat him like shit cause u are d one now paying the bills. I pray to make it big one day but my most important prayer is to avoid materialistic women like you.

MathsChic:
Thumbs up! 10000+ likes

However, it's almost a futile exercise explaining this to Nigerian men. Most don't even recognize that humans, right from ancient times, have always been driven to seek out mates who would provide the best for them in terms of quality of life. That gibberish about blindly loving, is just gibberish. Natural selection ensures that even successful humans are driven to better partners who are not only compatible with them, but can also cater for them. Like attracts like.

Typical Naija slay queen mentality. This is all they think until reality sets in.

greyboy5000:
thanks my man
We just dey try

Correct G!... NL feminist on the RISE.

Although, it's not even far fetched that only uninformed guys say women don't know what they want. In recent years we found out ladies want what they can't​ have for a keep, which has been trending from the ages of Adam and mother Eve ( she knew she couldn't have that tree that they we unequivocally warned against for a keep but she couldn't help it) and this is what we're are experiencing in our modern day life. It's take that guy that gets it to decipher them as they come.

Cheers broderman!

Gerrard59:
OP is correct.

Women date/marry up not down(there are studies to prove it). Unfortunately, majority of NL males are ignorant of this fact.

Funny thing is: Same men that criticise her will not want to marry a lady who is not up and running. She'll be termed as a liability. Yet it's believed this same lady should not have standards.


People have standards, if it cannot be increased, it must be maintained.

Perhaps u didn't read the part where she berated people in the struggling class. Its not a bad thing 2 have class,but don't berate a man who struggles 2 make it (legitimately) by calling him broke. Mind U,some rich men have married women 4rm poor backgrounds;who practically had nothing (materially). But we don't go about making noise about broke this,class that. U get the gist?

Gerrard59:
OP is correct.

Women date/marry up not down(there are studies to prove it). Unfortunately, majority of NL males are ignorant of this fact.

Funny thing is: Same men that criticise her will not want to marry a lady who is not up and running. She'll be termed as a liability. Yet it's believed this same lady should not have standards.


People have standards, if it cannot be increased, it must be maintained.

Perhaps u didn't read the part where she berated people in the struggling class. Its not a bad thing 2 have class,but don't berate a man who struggles 2 make it (legitimately) by calling him broke. Mind U,some rich men have married women 4rm poor backgrounds;who practically had nothing (materially). But we don't go about making noise about broke this,class that. U get the gist?

jagugu88li:
greyboy5000 keep em quite bro. Your first comment was sensible enough. I dont wanna say you hit the nail straight and sent it home coz they might come for me but.....YOU HIT THE NAIL STRAIGHT AND SENT IT HOME.

If I were a guy, I would use threads like these as notes to study

I'm already doing that Mami, Trust me I am Lol

One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed pathetic.

How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does? How can a financially ambitious woman lower her standards and spend years waiting for some guy "who has potential" to make it? Let me unpack this last statement because it's a bit radioactive. There are different gradations of potential and that's why I used quotation marks. There are men who have an education that confers a high competitive advantage in the job market, or skills that can catapult them to high rungs on the financial ladder. If a financially ambitious woman meets this kind of guy and he is working hard everyday to become financially stable and secure, then she can lower her standards a bit and grind with him, but only for a while. If after few months or years and this guy isn't making any progress and she decides to go, no one should blame her. Maybe the guy isn't smart enough or isn't just lucky enough. She has the right to leave him and find someone who is financially compatible with her. Yes.
But this only applies to men who have real potential, not some guy who just has a degree or skills and isn't taking diligent steps to improve his finances.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education. It's not the fault of a financially ambitious woman who is financially bouyant herself if she doesn't want to mingle with broke people, let alone date them.

Instead of dating a guy that has good qualities, the kind of women I am referring to would rather find financially bouyant and ambitious men like themselves, and then proceed to look for these good qualities. And YES they are justified in doing that. Abi is it only broke guys that have good qualities?

Lastly, if any guy is asking out women who don't fall into the category of women I am referring to, then such guy has low standards and deserves the rejection he is receiving from his fellow broke girl.

God bless you plenty for us....

Mkbryants:
Correct G!... NL feminist on the RISE.

Although, it's not even far fetched that only uninformed guys say women don't know what they want. In recent years we found out ladies want what they can't​ have for a keep, which has been trending from the ages of Adam and mother Eve ( she knew she couldn't have that tree that they we unequivocally warned against for a keep but she couldn't help it) and this is what we're are experiencing in our modern day life. It's take that guy that gets it to decipher them as they come.

Cheers broderman!

Guy. When you call them feminists, you dey even try for them. They think they know what it means just because them they watch series. They'll be shouting "a woman is independent" (destiny's child bin hamma with their song wey still dey deceive them) when there's no such thing. There's only interdependence for both sexes. One can't do without the other. Women will always and forever want to eat their cake and have it. As for the men, we go just do our best to do what is right.

Well, any guy who lets the opinion of these deluded ladies drive them into desperation and crime just to impress ladies would only have himself to blame. The problem with Nigerian girls is that are deluded to stupor. They are self-entitled, self-centered, self-absorbed and have an acute case of delusions of grandeur. Years b4, when Nigeria was better, most men were comfortable. Poverty levels were not as severe as this then. But times have changed, the polithiefcians have stolen the nation blind. The old men have stolen and destroyed the future of young men and women. The economy is not smiling and the masses are struggling so much just to make ends meet. Yet, our girls are still in fairytale land. They do not want to come to terms with reality. They feel when boys grow into men, a vault of cash is waiting for them somewhere for them to claim and then to come and spend on them, the ladies. They do not realise that it is everybody for themselves now, survival of the fittest. Just the way you ladies were born into this country with no hope of a better future is the same thing for guys. So it bothers me when girls still expect guys to just become rich overnight and then spoil them with goodies. It bothers me when girls call some struggling guys, broke when the majority of them are broke as hell themselves.

These self-entitled slobs only see men as tools to take care of all their wants. They don't care about how these guys are faring at all. All they care about is what the guy can offer and not what they can offer. They are like overgrown babies looking to get things from others, things they cannot get themselves or give to others. It's okay for comfy guys to date broke girls, but not okay for comfy ladies to date broke boys? Double standards. This just shows women only care about themselves and no one else. If you meet a great guy with great qualities with only finances holding him back, but then, you have the finances, why not help him out and build something together? But Naija girls are just leeches, looking for who to suck dry while they keep their own bank accounts fat. The op has tried to pass off all broke guys as lazy people, without factoring the vital issues like the economy et.al. Girls don't realise that no guy is comfortable being broke. It is a thing of pride for guys to be able to take care of the women they love. But no one likes to be scammed by gold diggers. Gold diggers, that's what these girls are. Guys are actually hustling badly, some are delving into crime just to take care of these unappreciative women. If a woman has the financial aspect of her life sorted out, isn't it an opportunity for her search for other reasonable qualities in a man apart from money? Since she has the financial veil covering her eyes and brain removed, isn't that an opportunity to clear her eyes and search for other actually virtuous qualities? If she finds a rich man with good qualities, fine, but if she finds a guy with great qualities and then discards him because he's struggling, it only shows she's shallow and dumb since she values money which she already has btw, over more important qualities which she should be looking for. And boy, are women dumb.

yesterday, we were in church while the sanctuary keepers did their fantastic work if keeping the place clean. the girl I sat with then said, I can't be a sanctuary keeper I don't like the Job, I can't stand dust. I immediately rebuked her, does it mean cos you are in the choir you see yourself better than the sanctuary keepers? so bad. I nearly gave up on her on that mentality but held on as I saw she is till a growing baby. why couldn't she just say, I love working in the choir department? why can't the op just say I want to marry a rich man with 9M monthly salary? Why will you even call someone broke? Anyway, much has been said and the wise should know how to take the good and leave the bad. Go for what you want in life and stop feeling your life is the best. For the seemingly broke guys, you are not broke cos I know its just a functions of time and opportunity before people will start seeing the blessings you have always carried. At a time in my life when my Biz was completely down I never saw myself as broke and never allowed anyone name me broke.

Na poverty dey worry Nigerian girls. Even the so call independent ones working in offices with big title, na poverty mentality dey worry them.

cristianisraeli:
nigerian girls with their headache..they expect u to be the boyfriend and father at the same time..its always about money money money...if the money finish now una go run..if the man go do evans or huspuppi when kasala burst una go run.let us know when u catch that E money..truth is nigerian girls too get wahala..guys try dating any other lady any african country..u will understand what i mean

majekdom2:
we live in a sick society. We have a social problem. You are perceived successful by the car you drive and house you live in. We go to church so God can bless us to be rich. We go to school because we believe education is key to becoming rich. People become politicians because they want to be rich. Some people that are surviving will go abroad because they want to be rich, some will push drugs. We have internet fraudsters who could have survived without being fraudsters because they want to be rich. There is no other motivation in Nigeria other than the quest to become rich. A very big social problem that has affected our thought pattern.

Another enlightened fellow speaking here. Those words are too deep for these shallow minded women to understand so don't bother.

This kind of thought from op is so poisonous and should not be allowed here considering the fact the internet doesnt forget our daughters may come to read this.. Gone are the days when women pride on the dignity of the labour of their men, all this malaysian hustler girls will come back and call our lectures, doctors, accountant etc unintelligent because they dont drive the latest mecedes benz like their yahoo bf [sup][/sup]

RaggedyAnn:
I'm afraid of launching into another lengthy conversation, and I so want to avoid that. So I'll avoid generalizations and speak for myself only (which you should have the decency not to argue with, since you don't know me): the point isn't to marry someone who is filthy rich. The diligence that has made successes out of the lecturer and the career soldier has liberated them financially. They're not broke and financially desperate. Not everyone will live six months on a yacht and bathe in champagne.

Except you don't mean LAUTECH Lecturers.

RaggedyAnn:
I'm afraid of launching into another lengthy conversation, and I so want to avoid that. So I'll avoid generalizations and speak for myself only (which you should have the decency not to argue with, since you don't know me): the point isn't to marry someone who is filthy rich. The diligence that has made successes out of the lecturer and the career soldier has liberated them financially. They're not broke and financially desperate. Not everyone will live six months on a yacht and bathe in champagne.

Except you don't mean LAUTECH Lecturers.

evexx1:
I already have a big reason to reject you, it is either your english is poor or you simply cannot type correctly.

It is a huge turn off for me. Enjoy

Madam Brighter Grammar, I just got ur point. Sorry dear, The truth is bitter. Back to my point, after looking up some of ur posts, I realized my English tutor hasn't posted more than a sentence (a phrase in most cases). So Madam, I challenge you to write a paragraph, post it before commenting whether I'm bad in English or typing.

vanpeele:
Summary of all the rants: what I've learned.

1. Women have standards (obviously).
2. A woman can quit her relationship or marriage when she feels the other is pulling her back.
3. Only the rich are intelligent, even if you steal, rape or ritual kill provided it gives money you're intelligent.
4. The richest people in the world don't account for 1% of the world's population, which means that 99% of the rest of the world including me and the OP aren't intelligent.
5. In conclusion, everybody who wrote on this thread including the OP are dumb because clearly she and her supports and attackers are broke.

Some women make me laugh though. Anyways, different strokes for different folks.

greyboy5000 Lubyna RaggedyAnn

bro you included your self
Cause you wrote on the thread

Anyway cheers

Daeylar:
if lalasticlala moves this to FP, they will come for you in their thousands,
I hope you will be ready,
Everyone has standards, nice thread

All the op is saying is that some ladies have standards on the type of men they can date or marry, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The girl eventually deleted her account. You actually warned her indeed

sekxy:
this is very good...those ignoramus will come to shout olosho...and all whatnot..but never mind the truth shall always prevail

Money money money! that's why you are always trying to develop places.

greyboy5000:
bro you included your self Cause you wrote on the thread
Anyway cheers

Was being sarcastic bro.

Olabestonic001:
Except you don't mean LAUTECH Lecturers.

If you don't want become a lecturer, then that's your decision. But don't look down on people that are making a legitimate living. They're financially secure and provide for their families. Respect that at the very least.

GuidoVanRossum:
These characteristics you keep painting, do they guarantee good marital life?
The money, intelligence, diligence, discipline and co, do they transform into a happy home? What is marriage to you? Is it a business venture?


I pray I never meet someone with this mentality in life. To me, marriage is till death do us path no matter the circumstances, I wouldn't want to endure a hellish marital life because I made the wrong choice.

Bro, stop wasting your time here!
Most of those girls are too young to understand what marriage is all about. When they use their styles and it worked perfectly while they remain married in the next 40yrs, let them come and state all these wild imagination again.
Until you've stayed married till death do you part, you ain't know nothing about the dynamics of marriage.
I used to have my wild imagination of how my wife should look and what I want her to be but now, brokenness have me and marriage have been heaven on earth for me and for her.
Marriage is not all about you or your spouse or your culture or tradition or religion but all about GOD and HIS life. The others I listed are so varying that using them as major yardstick will certainly make you confused. And that's why I see potentially confused girls and boys up there; its all about them! They are inherently self-centered and disasters waiting to happen.
Until brokenness is attained, either riches and poverty will bring its headaches. The poor man/lady (without brokenness) is always anger-proned, selfish, insensitive, inconsiderate and gold-digger. The rich man/lady (without brokenness) is always proud, arrogant, insensitive, snobbish and too assuming. Both are nought!
Till brokenness be attained, marriage will always be frustrating.
(And yes, I'm not in any way a broke guy)

vanpeele:
Was being sarcastic bro.

OK my bro
No harm intended myself