greyboy5000:
really!
Now you see the world like a ruler with straight edges
As if anything is certain, as if love is easy to find like a cup of rice
You mean the lady should leave like that and find a sucessful guy like the nigga is just waiting to be bought off the market

So what happens if these richer guy were to loose his money or source of fund immediately they started dating
Don't tell me because i know your answer; the lady should move to another sucessful guy
You know what society call those type of ladies that move around looking for gold

On the insults
You need to read where she painted the picture of a broke guy in her post and come back to tell me how she was glorify them

RaggedyAnn:



No, you misunderstand me. I said a person should leave once they're being held back by their mate because that amounts to an unhealthy relationship. In the course of this back and forth, I mentioned the attributes of a go getter: diligence, drive, discipline, intelligence and, yes, luck. All of which bring the sort of energy that a fellow go-getter craves to enhance their own vibe. A laggard, however, brings on a negativity (laziness, complacency, etc) which is undesirable; and with a late-bloomer, one would require the patience of job to watch them eventually discover their niche.

I also said that failures should be disintegrated and attributed to whatever inadequacies fit: laziness, indiscipline, immaturity. A person cannot consistently have bad luck. If it seems like that's the case, he's probably not doing the things he should.

So when I say that a person is being held back by his/her mate, it's not about the money in the account. It's about contributing to/ enabling or not interfering with their personal progress and also the vision they have for themselves. And it goes both ways. Some men, for instance, would reckon that their fiancée would graduate in four years (they want a wife with at least a first degree). Then she spends ten years and still has nothing to show for it. She changes schools a few times but still cannot cut it. It becomes apparent that she's dull, or lazy, or unfavored by God. But such a man must make a decision if he will adjust his dreams to accommodate his woman's inadequacies (which will still reflect on the household) or if he should cut her loose without compromise.

Of course, this is when decisions are made with one's head. When the heart is involved, illogical things happen. But not everyone will find love in their prime childbearing age and so people forge ahead instead of waiting around.

To your penultimate point: If someone you have already identified as a go-getter loses his money, he would not lose his character. So he's still very viable. He can become detrimental to the relationship if he is suddenly consumed by anger and depression and not responding to psychiatric treatment. He would even affect the children negatively. This is why people make the hard decision to split up.

On the insults: it wasn't supposed flatter anyone either, so please forgive the fact that the fragile egos of some guys were not seriously considered before composing this.

sekxy:
this is very good...those ignoramus will come to shout olosho...and all whatnot..but never mind the truth shall always prevail

greyboy5000:
yes I got your point
But her initial post was quiet clear
She said it is characteristic of a broke guy to be uneducated , unintelligent and to lacks drive which I tried to correct
Note: I am not against her choice of rich guys though

Daeylar:


I've seen the offending paragraph, well what can I say, maybe she would explain better,

what I'm saying though is that she never stated that it's all about money (which is what some posters were trying to accuse her of doing) and that is what she maintained to this point, it's about the fact that everyone has standards and the ladies shouldn't be shamed for having such standards which you seem to agree with.

greyboy5000:
first of all no fragile ego of any guy was bruised
However, some guys find the idea of ladies who find it easy to step on other people's ego to make them self look saint or better as ridiculous

Now back to the topic
I don't know why you keep running away from the fact that this thread talks about money. However, if you want to do that let follow you up.
Now clearly your permutations are one sided how do you determine a guy is not working hard enough and holding a lady back

Now let me play by your way of using analogy
Now think of a guy who struggles to finish top of his class, clearly that shows drive
But for some reason or the other is unable to get a job( pheraps job is hard to get for the degree he studied)
However, his school gf finds work so what do you suggest for the lady, should she drop the guy after sometime and move to the next guy



Like I said before there is no way you can equate hard work as hard work and drive itself doesn't equate success

greyboy5000:
I never oppose that part of her post
Like I wrote previously, every has the right to a choice but don't try to insult others to justify it
Rather make your point

Lubyna:
Lalasticlala please move my thread to the home page.

Lubyna:
One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed pathetic.

How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does? How can a financially ambitious woman lower her standards and spend years waiting for some guy "who has potential" to make it? Let me unpack this last statement because it's a bit radioactive. There are different gradations of potential and that's why I used quotation marks. There are men who have an education that confers a high competitive advantage in the job market, or skills that can catapult them to high rungs on the financial ladder. If a financially ambitious woman meets this kind of guy and he is working hard everyday to become financially stable and secure, then she can lower her standards a bit and grind with him, but only for a while. If after few months or years and this guy isn't making any progress and she decides to go, no one should blame her. Maybe the guy isn't smart enough or isn't just lucky enough. She has the right to leave him and find someone who is financially compatible with her. Yes.
But this only applies to men who have real potential, not some guy who just has a degree or skills and isn't taking diligent steps to improve his finances.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education. It's not the fault of a financially ambitious woman who is financially bouyant herself if she doesn't want to mingle with broke people, let alone date them.

Instead of dating a guy that has good qualities, the kind of women I am referring to would rather find financially bouyant and ambitious men like themselves, and then proceed to look for these good qualities. And YES they are justified in doing that. Abi is it only broke guys that have good qualities?

Lastly, if any guy is asking out women who don't fall into the category of women I am referring to, then such guy has low standards and deserves the rejection he is receiving from his fellow broke girl.

hibiscus76:
its a pity no one talks about Love anymore... marriage shouldn't be all about money oo OP..

blackberlin:
This is exactly the problem with some ladies. Once they begin making some peanuts, they believe any guy earning less than them is of a lower status, unless they're desperate to get married cos their female clock is ticking. Whereas a man can be as rich as Mike Adenuga and still chose to settle with a peniless village girl because of love.

Lubyna:


"Rubbish" is what someone types when he reads the truth and it hurts so bad.

Lubyna:


"Rubbish" is what someone types when he reads the truth and it hurts so bad.

Lubyna:


Thanks sis. I am patiently waiting for the male refuters to arrive.

blackberlin:
This is exactly the problem with some ladies. Once they begin making some peanuts, they believe any guy earning less than them is of a lower status, unless they're desperate to get married cos their female clock is ticking. Whereas a man can be as rich as Mike Adenuga and still chose to settle with a peniless village girl because of love.

Lubyna:


So if a woman has financial standards, she should now lower it for some guy because of what? What does the guy have to offer that more financially bouyant and ambitious men don't have? Is it by force to date somebori? It's not like she sees men as lower status, it's just that she can't date them. Shikena. Is it your life? Is it not her life?
Most wealthy men are ambitious, intelligent, well informed and successful, and when they marry, they marry equally intelligent, ambitious, well informed and successful women. Stop watching Nollywood movies and engage with reality.

Oh please. It's not only the women who marry rich men that suffer domestic abuse. Women who are married to broke men also suffer domestic abuse. Domestic violence occurs across all boards.

Lolzzz. Sorry to say this but you are so ignorant about reality. Who told you white women aren't concerned about financial status? How many white women do you know? There are women of different races who have financial standards, and so can't settle for less. And they have the right to. Instead of complaining and abusing them, why don't you strive to be financially successful so you can meet the standards of most women?

Lubyna:


So if a woman has financial standards, she should now lower it for some guy because of what? What does the guy have to offer that more financially bouyant and ambitious men don't have? Is it by force to date somebori? It's not like she sees men as lower status, it's just that she can't date them. Shikena. Is it your life? Is it not her life?
Most wealthy men are ambitious, intelligent, well informed and successful, and when they marry, they marry equally intelligent, ambitious, well informed and successful women. Stop watching Nollywood movies and engage with reality.

Oh please. It's not only the women who marry rich men that suffer domestic abuse. Women who are married to broke men also suffer domestic abuse. Domestic violence occurs across all boards.

Lolzzz. Sorry to say this but you are so ignorant about reality. Who told you white women aren't concerned about financial status? How many white women do you know? There are women of different races who have financial standards, and so can't settle for less. And they have the right to. Instead of complaining and abusing them, why don't you strive to be financially successful so you can meet the standards of most women?

RaggedyAnn:




You would find that the post alludes to the fact that the financial status of a man is indicative of certain attributes: intelligence, diligence, etc. this is the issue. I'm not running away from the issue. The money is a pointer to those qualities we've mentioned over an over. That's when you said Dino Melaye's money isn't pointing to any quality and I agreed that he didn't represent my interest group. I told you: financial reward = successful enterprise which in turn depends on said attributes. Bottom line: at the root of this isn't the money.

To your analogy after one of mine: if a man's fiancée gained a hundred pounds. Hits the gym after persuasions looses the weight after showing incredible drive only to gain it back. And then finds it impossible to find the discipline and consistency to keep the weight off and instead, decides to blame it on bad genes accepting her fate as an obese woman. Would you say she's driven? Just because she demonstrated it once?

If the boy is unfortunate to get a job, his drive should be directed towards other worthwhile endeavors that are bound to prove rewarding eventually. He can't sit on his ass blaming fate. He should evaluate his prospects and use his time well. That would be the intelligent thing to do under the circumstances. Otherwise his lack of resourcefulness becomes apparent.

Yes, hard work and drive alone isn't enough to be successful, you must posses those other qualities as well.

Lubyna:
One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed l.

Lubyna:
One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed pathetic.

How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does? How can a financially ambitious woman lower her standards and spend years waiting for some guy "who has potential" to make it? Let me unpack this last statement because it's a bit radioactive. There are different gradations of potential and that's why I used quotation marks. There are men who have an education that confers a high competitive advantage in the job market, or skills that can catapult them to high rungs on the financial ladder. If a financially ambitious woman meets this kind of guy and he is working hard everyday to become financially stable and secure, then she can lower her standards a bit and grind with him, but only for a while. If after few months or years and this guy isn't making any progress and she decides to go, no one should blame her. Maybe the guy isn't smart enough or isn't just lucky enough. She has the right to leave him and find someone who is financially compatible with her. Yes.
But this only applies to men who have real potential, not some guy who just has a degree or skills and isn't taking diligent steps to improve his finances.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education. It's not the fault of a financially ambitious woman who is financially bouyant herself if she doesn't want to mingle with broke people, let alone date them.

Instead of dating a guy that has good qualities, the kind of women I am referring to would rather find financially bouyant and ambitious men like themselves, and then proceed to look for these good qualities. And YES they are justified in doing that. Abi is it only broke guys that have good qualities?

Lastly, if any guy is asking out women who don't fall into the category of women I am referring to, then such guy has low standards and deserves the rejection he is receiving from his fellow broke girl.