₦airaland Forum

You can call it poverty mentality due to inferiority complex

majekdom2:
we live in a sick society. We have a social problem. You are perceived successful by the car you drive and house you live in. We go to church so God can bless us to be rich. We go to school because we believe education is key to becoming rich. People become politicians because they want to be rich. Some people that are surviving will go abroad because they want to be rich, some will push drugs. We have internet fraudsters who could have survived without being fraudsters because they want to be rich. There is no other motivation in Nigeria other than the quest to become rich. A very big social problem that has affected our thought pattern.

nahzyla:
The Op isn't making any deep points, the truth is that you men don't like hearing women talk about how they want quality men for themselves. That is always the trend. Whether money is involved or not, even if a woman says she wants a handsome romantic man, Nairalamd men will still swoop on her and insult her and tell her she will grow old and have to settle for a shoemaker.

The other day a lady started a thread saying women should take care to not be materialistic and end up marrying men with questionable sources of wealth yet men still came to the thread to insult her. What exactly do you people want?

The lady that started this thread repeated it so many times that the women who should have high standards must also be hard working and rich and ambitious but it's like you men deliberately ignore that part and just rush into anger because she isn't saying women should lower their standardsand accept just any man. Men don't always say yes to women that are older/richer than them because they have ego issues, they don't like it when women are better/more intelligent or more experienced than them, much less the woman they call their wives. They want a woman they can dominate in all aspects of life. Ordinarily it's not a bad thing to want a partner that is equal to you in financial status, which is what Op is saying some women like
Men don't want a woman that is equal financially because they think they should be better than their wives in all ramifications including wealth.

so many assumptions in your posts that are not true. One of my point on this thread is We Nigerians should stop being critical about the unnecessary. You don't need a pastor to tell you to go for quality or have high standards. It is a natural thing to want something good and better. This thread was created to berate struggling man. NL is full of kids that have not even had life experiences so don't conclude about Nigerian men. Do you need someone to tell you to eat your food? The society we live in so critical about everything and quick put a stigma. So many social things that make people abroad can't be done in Nigeria. Threads as this are unnecessary because it adds no real value to the society.

Daeylar:
IamaNigerianGuy

You couldn't reply me when I asked you to show me where I said people should marry for money, or shouldn't marry for love and compatibility, you just jumped to conclusions to the point of telling me that the part I'm treading is not discernable from a gold digger, Please, next time, understand my statements before tagging me with your advice, and if you don't understand my statements, ask me for clarification before jumping into conclusions.

You did not.
I apologize and I've deleted the offending post.

majekdom2:
so many assumptions in your posts that are not true. One of my point on this thread is We Nigerians should stop being critical about the unnecessary. You don't need a pastor to tell you to go for quality or have high standards. It is a natural thing to want something good and better. This thread was created to berate struggling man. NL is full of kids that have not even had life experiences so don't conclude about Nigerian men. Do you need someone to tell you to eat your food? The society we live in so critical about everything and quick put a stigma. So many social things that make people abroad can't be done in Nigeria. Threads as this are unnecessary because it adds no real value to the society.

The thread really isn't berating anyone, you guys are just paranoid.

Again, in the Op it was mentioned that women with high standards can and will also settle for a man who is currently struggling but has the potential and intelligence to be somebody great in future.
Go back and read the Op, it's written there. The thread doesn't say women should avoid all struggling guys or berate them.

Quinn22:
You can call it poverty mentality due to inferiority complex

those seven logics made on ur dp is quite some food for thought.who is the gentleman?
would love to google him.

Well out of 100%,only 2.5% of women has such financial standards.... The rest of them are just liabilities.. As for the Op, I hope u marry an intelligent and a well connected drug Baron in the future..

nahzyla:
The thread really isn't berating anyone, you guys are just paranoid.

Again, in the Op it was mentioned that women with high standards can and will also settle for a man who is currently struggling but has the potential and intelligence to be somebody great in future.
Go back and read the Op, it's written there. The thread doesn't say women should avoid all struggling guys or berate them.

attributing being broke to laziness and un intelligence? A society as Nigeria does not see woman equal to men. The earlier many of you try to see that the better and the earlier many of you ladies start to advocate against threads as this the better women rights/ equality manifest. See, whether OP was advising or berating, point is threads as this would always create conflicts and should be avoided. Like I said, nobody needs to tell you to make money or hustle or want something good. Its a Natural instinct. Nobody likes to settle for less, it's all Natural. Now talking down on the less is where the problem. Like I said earlier, the OP would have done better if she didn't attribute certain things to a particular gender. Imagine if the topic was people should understand some people have financial standards and in her post she does not differentiate gender. That's being smart.

So if a woman has financial standards, she should now lower it for some guy because of what? What does the guy have to offer that more financially bouyant and ambitious men don't have? Is it by force to date somebori? It's not like she sees men as lower status, it's just that she can't date them. Shikena. Is it your life? Is it not her life?
Most wealthy men are ambitious, intelligent, well informed and successful, and when they marry, they marry equally intelligent, ambitious, well informed and successful women. Stop watching Nollywood movies and engage with reality.

Oh please. It's not only the women who marry rich men that suffer domestic abuse. Women who are married to broke men also suffer domestic abuse. Domestic violence occurs across all boards.

Lolzzz. Sorry to say this but you are so ignorant about reality. Who told you white women aren't concerned about financial status? How many white women do you know? There are women of different races who have financial standards, and so can't settle for less. And they have the right to. Instead of complaining and abusing them, why don't you strive to be financially successful so you can meet the standards of most women?

so ur reason of getting wealth is to meet the standard of women....smh you are just a big fool

majekdom2:
attributing being broke to laziness and un intelligence? A society as Nigeria does not see woman equal to men. The earlier many of you try to see that the better and the earlier many of you ladies start to advocate against threads as this the better women rights/ equality manifest. See, whether OP was advising or berating, point is threads as this would always create conflicts and should be avoided. Like I said, nobody needs to tell you to make money or hustle or want something good. Its a Natural instinct. Nobody likes to settle for less, it's all Natural. Now talking down on the less is where the problem. Like I said earlier, the OP would have done better if she didn't attribute certain things to a particular gender. Imagine if the topic was people should understand some people have financial standards and in her post she does not differentiate gender. That's being smart.

@bold,Op never talked down on anybody. She only said she prefers hardworking and ambitious men. I dunno how many times this point will be repeated before yall get it. The only way you feel she is talking down on you is if you are not a hardworking or ambitious person.
And nowhere in this thread was being broke attributed to laziness and unintelligence, it's obvious you didn't read op's post to understand it.
Secondly,
Men start threads nearly everyday telling women how to behave, both before marriage and after marriage and I don't recall seeing any of you telling those men not to differentiate gender when suggesting how people should behave. A girl starts a thread talking about what some women want and suddenly there is a need to not differentiate gender, there is need to address the topic to both men and women. There is need to avoid conflict created by the thread.
Very funny.
Anybody can write any article and attribute it to any gender, it's left for the readers to use common sense and realize that the article can also apply to the other gender not addressed.

IamaNigerianGuy:
You did not.
I apologize and I've deleted the offending post.

forgiven
Thanks

It is indeed! I don't know him, I was very fortunate to find the pic. You can do your own research by googling "seven logics for peaceful living", you will definitely see him all over

lefulefu:
those seven logics made on ur dp is quite some food for thought.who is the gentleman?
would love to google him.

greyboy5000:
yes I can read thank you

So you said a lady should leave the guy right if he is not making it , now here is my question what if something bad were to happen to this very" sucessful lady" and she seems not to be making progress too
What do you suggest for the very successful guy to do?


Or really, I guess you didn't read in your post where you said uneducated, unintelligent is a trait of broke guys right
So you mean been a tout like maleye or rouge like evans is now new the intelligent and educated for you very "successful ladies"

Really, now you tell me you don't go Into relationship because of money because all I saw in your earlier post was money, money, money and money
However, since you claim you have other things you go into relationship for, why don't you enlighten us

don't mind all this Mumu girls.... A ritualist is intelligent, a kidnapper is intelligent, so long u have money in their dictionary you are intelligent...dumb girls everywhere

How many rich people in Nigeria are intelligent. How many honest people in Nigeria are rich. What if the rich guy is a womanizer or a beater or something happens to his wealth. That's the problem with our ladies. They have a right to choose to be with rich guys but when things go wrong it's there business they shouldn't come and play victim. That's why I would look for loyalty rather than love.

hibiscus76:
its a pity no one talks about Love anymore... marriage shouldn't be all about money oo OP..

ur such a damsel

be my friend plzz

Abeg make I go find where them they argue better something. This is almost like arguing father and mother who is more important in the home, or boy child and girl child who is more important in the home.

Highly opinionated premises lead to empty arguments which won't teach an honest reader anything.

�������������� Lemme come and be going jare

MsRoe:
This is very well articulated. Logic wouldn't argue with this. Stupidity will.

Logic must have a new meaning-stupidity.

First op, your write-up makes you sound like a feminist-a lay parlance-a lady that believes in equality of gender. Now tell me please, when is it the sole responsibility of a guy in a relationship to take financial care of a lady. Who and when was that consensus reached by both gender. Pray tell Wiseacre.

Now what do this your imaginary intelligent lady, that her currency of intelligence is money do or contribute to the relationship, what does she contribute, her torso and v. shape!, and that is worth all the monies in the world, from your world view right!

Since you have consistently objectify your gender with no shame, we will continue to pick you girls up with cheddars. And woe betide any one of you that come crying that a dude cheated on him and broke his heart, since your benchmark for a good relationship is money, menfolks will also throw out, loyalty, chastity, sincerity, love etc to sex dolls and continue to purchase you girls for a cache of variety, why do you blame us, variety is the spice of life any way.

Having admitted not all women are intelligent, what gave you the vaunted high chair to think this your write-up is an intelligent one.

As for you, this piece of shit is not a justification for selling yourself or your sexuality, it is a black hole that most women ended up in.

RaggedyAnn:
I think it was clear. True success is not accidental. It's a convergence of several variables: diligence, intelligence, discipline, drive, focus, and a bit of luck too. These are all desirable qualities in a potential mate (or even just friends). And people who exhibit these traits eventually become successful. Money follows naturally.

Now you might want to throw people like Melaye into the category of successful men, but I don't think he cuts it. He might be wealthy, yes, but how did he get there? We all know that most of these politicians are thieves who have nothing to contribute except the cash. A man who has built himself into a success at his legitimate field may not have the stupid cash these politicians throw around, but he would have a bank of lessons learned, and the character that he's honed over the time it took to get his wealth. It's durable.

The post is not implying that if a man runs into some bad luck, a woman should leave him. It simply suggests that consistent failures should be looked at critically because they may be as a result of a series of bad decisions which may prove a level of indiscipline, immaturity, or laziness. These qualities have ways of affecting a relationship negatively too. And yes, guys are also free to make such inferences.

I agree with you on this 100%

MrMystrO:
You are a Special Woman, And someone who will definitely be a priceless asset and a constant source of motivation to any man you choose to build your Life with. May God bless you with a Man who will Appreciate and treasure these values You Possess. Have a Great evening ma'am.

Amen! And thank you.

havilla:
This post is soo senseless, vain, shallow and childish. Op you Think you sound intelligent but you sound fake and dumb with soo much pride.

There is so much more to a man or anyone than money, what is even so special about rich people? They are just normal human beings like every one else who are just fortunate to make it in life. Every single human being is valuable, but it seems financial status is the most important thing for you because you have nothing else to offer.

What have you done for mankind with your intelligence and status, let me guess NOTHING! Just to buy Brazilian hair and be feeling like one goddess and posting stupid pictures up and down on social media.

I honestly admire humble people and those hustling to make it in life, God bless your hard work and determination and don't let this dumb post bring you down.

I would like to know u more

Dumaknesset:
Logic must have a new meaning-stupidity.

First op, your write-up makes you sound like a feminist-a lay parlance-a lady that believes in equality of gender. Now tell me please, when is it the sole responsibility of a guy in a relationship to take financial care of a lady. Who and when was that consensus reached by both gender. Pray tell Wiseacre.

Now what do this your imaginary intelligent lady, that her currency of intelligence is money do or contribute to the relationship, what does she contribute, her torso and v. shape!, and that is worth all the monies in the world, from your world view right!

Since you have consistently objectify your gender with no shame, we will continue to pick you girls up with cheddars. And woe betide any one of you that come crying that a dude cheated on him and broke his heart, since your benchmark for a good relationship is money, menfolks will also throw out, loyalty, chastity, sincerity, love etc to sex dolls and continue to purchase you girls for a cache of variety, why do you blame us, variety is the spice of life any way.

Having admitted not all women are intelligent, what gave you the vaunted high chair to think this your write-up is an intelligent one.

As for you, this piece of shit is not a justification for selling yourself or your sexuality, it is a black hole that most women ended up in.

It's like a said: only stupidity would argue with the original post. You don't even have (or don't want to have) the capacity to understand what was written. Where does one start to explain anything to one who has decided to be so obtuse?

It's useless, really.

I didn't read all if your post, the first paragraph defined your mindset. But if you have genuine questions, you'll find them addressed on this thread.

If, on the other hand, you're interested in insulting the ladies here, you can leave your comments here for those who care and go on with your life. I'm not interested that.

praise1705:
what is the worth of a man?

is it his money, houses he built, cars he owns, his sense of reasoning,character? or is there more

a woman who is thinking of how her family or kids should turn out wouldn't have time for these

what if the said lady or man looses his source of income?

some ladies even will all the class n money they have can't even raise or rear ordinary fowl (it will die)

Your last sentence though, hilarious.. Lol

"Rubbish" is what someone types when he reads the truth and it hurts so bad.

1-0

MsRoe:
It's like a said: only stupidity would argue with the original post. You don't even have (or don't want to have) the capacity to understand what was written. Where does one start to explain anything to one who has decided to be so obtuse?

It's useless, really.

I didn't read all if your post, the first paragraph defined your mindset. But if you have genuine questions, you'll find them addressed on this thread.

If, on the other hand, you're interested in insulting the ladies here, you can leave your comments here for those who care and go on with your life. I'm not interested that.

You didn't read my post and you have the temerity to reply it. What exactly are you replying, my mind set. I see truly, stupidity is the new logic. By using the word logic does not mean you are logical.

Ladies! Ladies are used for decent people not the lots we have the misfortune of seeing their minds here. Please use that word ladies carefully, don't corrupt it like you corrupted logic.

I don't give a hoot about you too, just don't come on public forum and foist an audacious stupidity on us. Some us don't suffer fools.

You think people will be put off by saying only fools will dispute the hogwash of the op. Your Logic is stupidity.

MsRoe:
It's like a said: only stupidity would argue with the original post. You don't even have (or don't want to have) the capacity to understand what was written. Where does one start to explain anything to one who has decided to be so obtuse?

It's useless, really.

I didn't read all if your post, the first paragraph defined your mindset. But if you have genuine questions, you'll find them addressed on this thread.

If, on the other hand, you're interested in insulting the ladies here, you can leave your comments here for those who care and go on with your life. I'm not interested that.

Don't get it wrong, The Post was meant to be an Eye opener About financial compatibility in Relationships, and frankly, I think The Op made some pretty valid points but she spoilt it all on the long run, By bringing the usual female bias to her answers to the questions asked by males, And by Refusing to address the issue from both genders perspective. You are an intelligent woman, just like the op, but u can't lie, and have to admit, u are seeing the issue from a female perspective only and not from the perspective of both gender like it rightly should be. Truth be told, if I was a woman, I would agree with the op's post 100%. But If u were to look at her post from both gender perspectives, you will discover that she was wrong in some areas as she cannot be 100% right. So try not to limit your perspective okay, as It hinders the mind from making The Best Rational Approach to problem solving. Have a great sunday.

nahzyla:
@bold,Op never talked down on anybody. She only said she prefers hardworking and ambitious men. I dunno how many times this point will be repeated before yall get it. The only way you feel she is talking down on you is if you are not a hardworking or ambitious person.
And nowhere in this thread was being broke attributed to laziness and unintelligence, [/b]it's obvious you didn't read op's post to understand it.
Secondly,
Men start threads nearly everyday telling women how to behave, both before marriage and after marriage and I don't recall seeing any of you telling those men not to differentiate gender when suggesting how people should behave. A [b]girl starts a thread talking about what some women want and suddenly there is a need to not differentiate gender, there is need to address the topic to both men and women. There is need to avoid conflict created by the thread.
Very funny.
Anybody can write any article and attribute it to any gender, it's left for the readers to use common sense and realize that the article can also apply to the other gender not addressed.

@ first bolded, the OP clearly stated a lady is free to dump a guy if things are not working the way she wants financially, read that again. Abi, you cannot comprehend? It means even in marriage a woman can. @ second bolded, read it the post again.@ 3rd bolded, if you follow me, know me and my post very well. You will know I don't support threads as this whether created by a guy or babe. Check through my post. I am not the regular "Boy" on nairaland. I can boast of my pedigree. It afforded me quality in life though it may not be the best available. I have had experiences and that is why I usually advise people with my experience. Has the OP had any experience before creating this kind of thread? My cousin had a babe when he didn't have a job, they were both graduates, he even tok the babe to the venue of her test with the then STB, a bank. After she got the job, she started with attitude, later on she went to the UK. Got married. My cousin moved on, he got a job with a parastatal Obasanjo created then pay was about 80k. Later, he met his wife now at first bank, babe was earning like 120. Had a masters degree. Bro is HND. Later changed. Now he earns more than a mill. His wife isn't even working, she had to resign. But I can tell you they are balling big time. Tho wrong, he brags about still sleeping with the STB babe. Me personally don get before, later I come down, get again. See, finance is a status. Anybody can change level at any time be it male or female. Wealth only comes from God, Be it masculine and feminine. Many of billionaire ladies many of you celebrate or want to be like see many things differently. @ last bolded, if you truly are smart and can comprehend, you will see I stated clearly, this kind of articles should not be encouraged as it adds no value in its real sense but hate and conflict.

Realhommie:
Your last sentence though, hilarious.. Lol

but it's true na

Honestly being financially handicap isn't good for a relationship. It sucks.

praise1705:
but it's true na

100%...

MsRoe:
It's like a said: only stupidity would argue with the original post. You don't even have (or don't want to have) the capacity to understand what was written. Where does one start to explain anything to one who has decided to be so obtuse?

It's useless, really.

I didn't read all if your post, the first paragraph defined your mindset. But if you have genuine questions, you'll find them addressed on this thread.

If, on the other hand, you're interested in insulting the ladies here, you can leave your comments here for those who care and go on with your life. I'm not interested that.

Just because you agree with the original post and some others have alternative opinions that makes them stupid. Nawa! Later them go say them go school.

"How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does"

Mr/Mrs/Miss Nobody, what a nice write up, However, i don't agree with you on the quoted statement above.

For ladies who are waiting for guys earning higher than them to keep their standards are unreasonable. My sisters married men earning lesser and now doing fine, in fact one building house in lekki already.

So ladies you can wait till ur 35yrs or till u run out of market value waiting for Mr big money. My advice, remain humble.

Hotshawarma:
anyone that reads this and is still arguing with you must be someone who is ready to roam with a pig on the floor....many yahoo boys are financially successful and they make bastard money,ritualist have plenty money too so people like you outside will see them in their cars and the first impression u will have is that they must be intelligent for them to have made such money,those that are ritualist are intelligent too ba??dumbest post I have read this year on the Internet...and what makes you think Dino melaye is an intelligent man??because he is rich??do you know how many millions of Naira they embezzle??so because they embezzle money and become rich means they are intelligent??and hope you know that broke is relative??someone u think is rich might be broke to another person and someone u think is broke might be rich to another person.....so u have no moral right to call anyone "broke"besides in my own standards you are a broke lady too because am very sure u do not have at least ten million Naira in your account,so successful men should not date people like you because you are of low standards since they consider someone with less than ten million Naira as broke??how does that sound to youand you talking about a lady not dating anyone that earns less than her that means if for example you are a lady you get lucky and become the CEO of a very big company and you are extremely rich so if you see a guy who is very rich too you will say you won't date him because he earns less than you??even though he is very rich??then is either u are looking for old men like dangote or maybe you believe you cannot be very rich so it will be easier for u to date someone that is richer than you.....

.