Hi Nairalanders,

I need your mature advice here. I am in a committed relationship with this lady. She works in lagos and I work in Asaba. I was initially in lagos but was transferred to Asaba. I do visit her regularly in lagos and she comes to Asaba too. Recently, an opening came up in Lagos within the company and I applied to be transferred back to fill this position. My application is currently pending approval. My reason for asking for this transfer is because I want to get married to this lady. And it is best we live in the same state after marriage. She can't move to Asaba because that will mean she has to look for another job. Instead, I felt I can work my transfer back to lagos.

Over the long independence holiday, I decided to visit my fiancee in lagos to share my plans with her. When I got to lagos, I noticed she was all moody. I then asked her wassup. She then said she is pregnant. After saying it, she paused and looked at my face. I was excited. I hugged her. Kissed her and brought out a new wristwatch I bought for her (she loves wristwatches). Then, I started explaining how I applied to be transferred back to lagos because I want to start a family with her. While I was talking, she started crying. I then asked to know what the issue was. She then answered that she aborted the pregnancy. I was shocked. She showed me the doctor's report confirming she was 4 weeks pregnant. But, she said she did not want to receive the usual rejection that comes from a guy when she tells the guy she is pregnant. Therefore, she just removed it. She said, she told herself that when she tells me I got her pregnant, and I start to act up, she will just tell me that she has already taken it off.

Since that day, I have not being myself. I do not know if I should continue with her. She has a big problem. She assumes too much. She concludes too much. She always tries to act like she is smarter than everyone in the room. Before you say A, she concludes you will also say B and C. A part of me wants my application for transfer to be denied.

What should I do? Mature advice only.

Some people are so forward mehn. She should have just kept shut about the pregnancy since she already removed it. Why did she remove it without waiting for whatever your reaction would be seff? Smh

Brother ehn, it's not advisable that you get married to a lady like that. She's gonn be doing a lot of things behind your back, both good and bad.

Something similar happened to me and I feel your pain.

In my case, we were even cohabiting, 2yrs in at the time and I noticed signs of pregnancy in her. Went for a test and came out positive; 8weeks. I can say it remains the happiest moment of my life.

The next day, I discovered my girl was moody. It was all about one stupid hungry fake pastor that told her I would abandon her with the baby not marry her in future. A 'prophesy' I still find laughable till today. Calmed her down, promised her heaven and even swore on my life.

The day after, she went out to visit a friend (one who I discovered gave her abortion concoctions) while I planned to take her to my family in Lagos and get everything settled. When she got back, I told her to pack her bags and we headed for Lagos.

I remember that on entering the gate of my parent's house to introduce them to my 'pregnant fiancée', I noticed blood coming out. I didn't need anyone to tell me what has happened. Confirmed it medically the next day, and ended up paying for an operation for her because it caused some medical complications.


Since that day, Man or woman, friend or foe, if you are the overly religious type whose brain does not function, nor have the tenacity to think on its own without following some silly fabricated book or listening to conmen who hide under religion, I stay away from you.

1) The pregnancy wasn't never yours.

2) Have you guys talked about her hasty conclusions? If yes and she hasn't changed, please let her go.

Bro, I won't be surprised if the baby wasn't yours.

But then this attitude, because of it she killed her child. Can you marry such a woman? That'll conclude to the point of murder.

She is self centered!

That's a very 'not good' character. She really isn't ready to mother a child that's all. Forget her many flimsy excuses.

Hope she isn't seeing someone else

Forgive her....its not totally her fault that some guys are thoughtless beasts.....

Abortion is not a good thing but...she made a mistake everyone does....

FORGIVE HER!!

Except you're ready to be a puppet, I won't advise you to marry such an oversabi lady. There'll be too many disagreements and you know what that can cause.

1 Red Flag! play along... something more serious will come up.. take ur decision then.

Jodha:
Forgive her....its not totally her fault that some guys are thoughtless beasts.....

Abortion is not a good thing but...she made a mistake everyone does....

FORGIVuE HER!!

Murder actually and you are welcome

Blackhawk01:
1) The pregnancy wasn't never yours.

2) Have you guys talked about her hasty conclusions? If yes and she hasn't changed, please let her go.

If the pregnancy wasnt his....she wouldnt have bothered telling him...
no one is that stupid...

Jodha:
Forgive her....its not totally her fault that some guys are thoughtless beasts.....

Abortion is not a good thing but...she made a mistake everyone does....

FORGIVE HER!!

Well many guys will prefare abortion but since she didn't mind going for abortion she should have asked first.

The decision was meant to be made by you both.... I suggest you forgive her

Lol wetin person no go see for NL

What she did is very bad, assumption kills alot of relationship, the deed is done what you need do now is to have a heart to heart talk with her and make known your intention. peace.

pcguru1:


Murder actually and you are welcome

She made a mistake....i bet she did it for the child....a child will suffer emotional truama growing up and been called a bastard...if the guy rejected...

Jodha:


She made a mistake....i bet she did it for the child....a child will suffer emotional truama growing up and been called a bastard...if the guy rejected...

She didn't wait for the guy to reject first tho.

ColdSun:

Well many guys will prefare abortion but since she didn't mind going for abortion she should have asked first.

Yh thats the mistake she made...maybe she didnt think it that way...

Mehn..its a serious matter o..First I'm inclined to believe the pregnancy was never urz..secondly, if u think u can live with such woman for the rest of ur life, then u can go ahead and marry her but if u feel u can't just let her go bro.

Jodha:
Forgive her....its not totally her fault that some guys are thoughtless beasts.....

Abortion is not a good thing but...she made a mistake everyone does....

FORGIVE HER!!

How is it not her fault? Whose fault is it? She took the life of "their" unborn child because of her insecurity issues. Did she think of her man, how he would feel about it? She would definitely do anything to be on the safe side next time, I mean anything, as long as she doesn't get hurt.

She's self-centered
She's a pessimist, you don't want to get involved with these kinda people, they only see the dark side of everything.
This isn't a mistake, she gave it enough thought before doing it. I hate selfish people.

Jodha:


She made a mistake....i bet she did it for the child....a child will suffer emotional truama growing up and been called a bastard...if the guy rejected...

Lol am so sure the child would be preferred to be called a bastard than to be murdered you can't convince me on abortion, I see people who are into it as less than human,

Jodha:


Yh thats the mistake she made...maybe she didnt think it that way...

According to op na oversabi lady and such are dangerous.

Jodha:


She made a mistake....i bet she did it for the child....a child will suffer emotional truama growing up and been called a bastard...if the guy rejected...

No dey justify this kain thing abeg. She didn't get herself pregnant. When things like this happens, you tell the other party then you guys can conclude. She was plain WRONG.

H2Ossss:
The decision was meant to be made by you both.... I suggest you forgive her

According to feminist it's her body so she can chose to murder her child as much as she wants

Jodha:
Forgive her....its not totally her fault that some guys are thoughtless beasts.....

Abortion is not a good thing but...she made a mistake everyone does....

FORGIVE HER!!

Abortion is not a mistake. it's murder.

If you're not ready to get pregnant, condoms are cheap, so are pills. Use them all, I don't care.

I am only concerned when you start killing babies.

Hmm,it is possible that she thought wrong it also possible she no get faith for the relationship,as for the pregnancy not been urs...na u know when last u visit her...she get little faith in you and the relationship,it is possible you did not let her know her much you truly love her,or may you no de show m...so na u know your girl,so do the maths ..but for me,if the relationship was really clear from the onset that it was heading towards marriage she no go do like that.

Thanks God this happened. Brother the very moment you start thinking of getting married that's when common sense is about leaving ur body. Instead of u to give ur heart to a woman pls donate it out for charity.

Jodha:


If the pregnancy wasnt his....she wouldnt have bothered telling him...
no one is that stupid...

No, she isn't stupid, she is evil. You ask why? She wanted to guilt-ride him, make him feel she took that decision because he hasn't given her enough reason to see him as a responsible man.

Any woman stupid enough to take the life of an unborn child without seeking the opinion of het partner is capable of anything.

U have alot to do if u realy love her

Mille:



Since that day, if you are the overly religious type whose brain does not function, nor have the tenacity to think on its own without following some silly fabricated book or listening to conmen who hide under religion, I stay away from you.

on point

pcguru1:


According to feminist it's her body so she can chose to murder her child as much as she wants

Yeah yeah... But its both their child