₦airaland Forum

sben2308:
I AV one like that left me 2013 that I don't look serious for marriage n now it's 2017 yet to b married o .Now d dey drain my ba3 with calls n msgs but me no get ha tym again cuz God don butter my bread

Spectre007:
you're strong oo,u passed thru all these nd still maintained ur sanity.... nd ur still friends with the girl.all the memories u both shared,hope u hv found another girl?

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

sben2308:
I AV one like that left me 2013 that I don't look serious for marriage n now it's 2017 yet to b married o .Now d dey drain my ba3 with calls n msgs but me no get ha tym again cuz God don butter my bread

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Philosophia:
So many things have crossed my mind. Is she seeing someone? But she assures me that she's not seeing anyone. Is she just looking for a fresh start? What did I do terribly wrong?

I am so confused. I called her, maybe to get direction or to hear something else. I'm not sure. She is advising me to fast and pray about it to get direction on what to do. She said she has prayed and fasted and she was told to prepare her mind for marriage.

I do not want to loose her but I don't know how I am supposed to do that. What is that supposed to achieve for me?

I am so lost.

Philosophia:
Thanks Rokia2, wristbangle, freepop, danladi7, fayded and ilekokonit and others that commented before.

You guys have really saved a life tonight. I'm so glad I brought this here. God bless you all. Thank you all for your advices. I feel better but I have to sleep on it.

My head aches and my vision is blurry but my heart is less heavy.
I will still fast and do whatever prayers I can if not for revelation, atleast to put the situation into God's hands. I don't think God is a God of injustice and I will not be guilty of not doing what she has advised me to do. Since she said she did it, I need to as well.

Thank you all. I will update you as things progress.

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Philosophia:
What kind of prayer am I supposed to pray?

wristbangle:
Don't be a "sissy". She has technically informed you to let her go in order to settle for the arranged man by her family. She has made the decision.

It is time for u to accept reality that she is no longer yours hence time for you to struggle for success.

Wetin u want fast about the situation? U go dry finish while she go dey enjoy with her arrangee rich man. U beta go face your life. Don't be a weak man

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Philosophia:
Hello Romancelanders,

Please help me! I have a very serious issue on my hands. I opened this account because of this, for advice from you. It's actually a long story, but I will try to keep it short.

I have been in a relationship with my gf for 3yrs+ now. We had both not been ready for marriage at the time. She said she had things that she wanted to achieve so she would give herself 5yrs. I felt the same way too but I was looking at my age to settle down as 29 or 30. She was almost 21 at the time, I was 24 at the time.

When I met her she was a shaken, frightened, stubborn and love-starved young lady. Her parents were trying to force into marriage with a "family friend's" son whom she did not like plus she was not ready to settle down at the time. Her father is a retired military man and would use extreme measures like locking her up in a room for days. Anyways, I supported her in everyway I could at the time even at a time meeting the so-called "family friend's" son. I did not intend to get into a relationship at the time but certain things happened and I began to fall in love with her plus she needed love and care so badly. She is a very smart, motivated and beautiful young lady.

We got into a relationship and with time, the pressure as regards marrying the guy died or so I thought. From then till now, we have both been striving hard to make things get better. She was trying to run a business while I was working at a small magazine company. Unfortunately I admit, even though I was not earning much at the magazine, I was careless with my finances. I would spend on her, us and on a couple of mundane things but the bulk was on her and us.

Well, the financial crunch hit and I lost my job being owed several months in back-salary. I had very little savings. Things were not going too well with her in her business either. And so what little savings I had plus borrowed money from my parents joined with her own funds(including borrowed money), we started a business. We have been almost a year into the business now. Things are so dull. She hardly comes to the office anymore. I manage to go with little funds raised from teaching at minor places plus my parents support. We have been trying a "new" field though which seems a bit positive.

You have the back story now. Here is the problem.

Of recent, her body language and speech + whatsapp chat seemed to be dodgy, non-committal and atimes even coated with disdain. I knew something was wrong. I had wanted to talk to her and she said she wanted to discuss something with me as well, but she had basically refused to show-up when I call her out. Well, I was not so much a fan of going to her house because of chances of meeting her mum plus her several siblings But I braved it and showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her what the matter was.

She told me of how her family was pressuring her and almost everyone she met was telling her to try and settle down. She said how she knows that I am not ready to settle down anytime soon. She said she had been praying about it and she has received an answer that she should settle down and that she do so before this time next year. She wants to get married before her birthday. People, she said several things and I said several things and I walked out angrily and dazed but I just gave the highlight of the issue. I could not wrap my head properly around it for a while but later I calmed down and I asked her a few questions.

It seems her mind is made up on marriage. She says she would prefer if it was me because she loves me, but if not, it is the will of God. She said some other things. I am just dazed and I don't know how to take it or how to act or what to do.

My life is not where I want it to be. I don't have the resources to turn things around right now. I am in a quagmire. Please Help!

Demigods666:
It's not late, first I would like to help you out in your financial aspect, not asking you for money, I would like to give you something to use and watch your financial life turn around within a week, what I will give you will attract all kinds of women to you you can get a new better one if you choose, will also attract your current GF back to you. It's for both love and business prosperity. When you confirm it. You can come thank me later with something nice.

cescky:
Guy, I perfectly get what your going through... because I went through similar stuff.

I'll summeriise, and be brief...yes your in pain now..but this pain will do two things to you, depending on you, if you stay positive, be God dependent you will meet a better person...or let it depress you and soak you in negativity which will drag you years back in terms of finance, etc. But your thinking won't affect bher plans or her intended marriage so you'll only be killing yourself.

Talking frm experience, years from now you will see her and laugh over the matter...she may not laugh though because evidently she loves you...but girls marry for many reasons love is not in the top of their list.so she may most likely suffer in this new relationship because, she's spent more time with you and is marrying the other. Guy for society...she may suffer or not but she will put up a front like shes happy

Move on bro, girls are hard hearted... both chuch and non church girls ..they don't marry for love

Don't depress your self with some one who eloped, because things went bad financially, get busy and get your mind occupied, you'll laugh over the matter with time...she will probably cry over bthe matter with time...she eneterd a spiritual concept with a physical idea..

MrHistorian:
You've written well.No surprises you worked in a Magazine company.

Now to your story,I will castigate you for over-investing in a lady you are not officially betrothed to.Thank God you acknowledged that and must have learnt from it.However,her sudden change in character might not be unconnected to the following points;;;

FINANCIAL INSTABILITY
Since you lost your job and have being financially crippled to meet her demands unlike before when you shower her with unrequested gifts.She "might" be a too materialistic lady who finds it very difficult to adjust with situations thus her sudden excuse of getting too late to marry just to find a mutual way of breaking up with you afterall she believes there are other rich suitors awaiting her.

REMOUNTING PARENTAL/SOCIETAL PRESSURE
Your Post claimed that her parents didn't give an approval of your relationship at first which makes it easier for her to pull up any action that might endanger your relationship with her since her parents approval of you was sluggish and not entirely wholeheartedly.Also,The recent proliferation of pre wedding pictures on the cyber space and other related social platform might just have triggered her obsession witj getting married as at this time irrespective of the opposing odds.

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

emmyreb:
There are two things involve in this, is either she's seeing someone else which I'm positive about that or she's about to, about to means she has been friend with d man in question...... secondly, you claims to love her right? pls don't beg her to stay but have it that her leaving is a stepping stone to success for you...... had similar experience but story for another day dou

Philosophia:
Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Philosophia:
Hello Romancelanders,

Please help me! I have a very serious issue on my hands. I opened this account because of this, for advice from you. It's actually a long story, but I will try to keep it short.

I have been in a relationship with my gf for 3yrs+ now. We had both not been ready for marriage at the time. She said she had things that she wanted to achieve so she would give herself 5yrs. I felt the same way too but I was looking at my age to settle down as 29 or 30. She was almost 21 at the time, I was 24 at the time.

When I met her she was a shaken, frightened, stubborn and love-starved young lady. Her parents were trying to force into marriage with a "family friend's" son whom she did not like plus she was not ready to settle down at the time. Her father is a retired military man and would use extreme measures like locking her up in a room for days. Anyways, I supported her in everyway I could at the time even at a time meeting the so-called "family friend's" son. I did not intend to get into a relationship at the time but certain things happened and I began to fall in love with her plus she needed love and care so badly. She is a very smart, motivated and beautiful young lady.

We got into a relationship and with time, the pressure as regards marrying the guy died or so I thought. From then till now, we have both been striving hard to make things get better. She was trying to run a business while I was working at a small magazine company. Unfortunately I admit, even though I was not earning much at the magazine, I was careless with my finances. I would spend on her, us and on a couple of mundane things but the bulk was on her and us.

Well, the financial crunch hit and I lost my job being owed several months in back-salary. I had very little savings. Things were not going too well with her in her business either. And so what little savings I had plus borrowed money from my parents joined with her own funds(including borrowed money), we started a business. We have been almost a year into the business now. Things are so dull. She hardly comes to the office anymore. I manage to go with little funds raised from teaching at minor places plus my parents support. We have been trying a "new" field though which seems a bit positive.

You have the back story now. Here is the problem.

Of recent, her body language and speech + whatsapp chat seemed to be dodgy, non-committal and atimes even coated with disdain. I knew something was wrong. I had wanted to talk to her and she said she wanted to discuss something with me as well, but she had basically refused to show-up when I call her out. Well, I was not so much a fan of going to her house because of chances of meeting her mum plus her several siblings But I braved it and showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her what the matter was.

She told me of how her family was pressuring her and almost everyone she met was telling her to try and settle down. She said how she knows that I am not ready to settle down anytime soon. She said she had been praying about it and she has received an answer that she should settle down and that she do so before this time next year. She wants to get married before her birthday. People, she said several things and I said several things and I walked out angrily and dazed but I just gave the highlight of the issue. I could not wrap my head properly around it for a while but later I calmed down and I asked her a few questions.

It seems her mind is made up on marriage. She says she would prefer if it was me because she loves me, but if not, it is the will of God. She said some other things. I am just dazed and I don't know how to take it or how to act or what to do.

My life is not where I want it to be. I don't have the resources to turn things around right now. I am in a quagmire. Please Help!