Gone were the days, when men were MEN!!! The private part that one can never endure to see even in the night, talk less of day time, will never..I repeat..will never ever be a problem to me through out my life. Bros, pls lock her away and throw the key straight into the Pacific Ocean

pocohantas:
Na una go tire.
Continue to blast single ladies o.
They'll keep breaking your hearts and marrying the ready guy. It's a vicious cycle.

When you are also ready, another young guy will be heartbroken.

Exactly. Many people don’t understand that putting pressure on young girls to get married at a young age has ripple effects.

The Genevieve they are yabbing today, they don’t know if she’s still single because she spent her 20s in a long relationship with someone hoping it would lead to marriage .

Mr Philosophia. What a name!

What will pain me is if you go and beg this girl not to leave you. If you try it, I might "swear" for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she is selfish and wants to dump you, etc. Mr man, let her go.

This is one painful situation many guys have endured. The earlier you forget her, the better. Move on. In fact don't just move on, move AHEAD.

You are not the first man to face this situation and you won't be the last. Many powerful men have had difficulty persuading women to marry them. One of such was Prime minister Churchill. Just plunge yourself into productive stuff.

pocohantas:
Na una go tire.
Continue to blast single ladies o.
They'll keep breaking your hearts and marrying the ready guy. It's a vicious cycle.

When you are also ready, another young guy will be heartbroken.

Lol, bitter truth.
So you mean for every married couples there's a heartbroken man/lady crying out his/her hear out.
Tell me more please

Philosophia:
Thanks Rokia2, wristbangle, freepop, danladi7, fayded and ilekokonit and others that commented before.

You guys have really saved a life tonight. I'm so glad I brought this here. God bless you all. Thank you all for your advices. I feel better but I have to sleep on it.

My head aches and my vision is blurry but my heart is less heavy.
I will still fast and do whatever prayers I can if not for revelation, atleast to put the situation into God's hands. I don't think God is a God of injustice and I will not be guilty of not doing what she has advised me to do. Since she said she did it, I need to as well.

Thank you all. I will update you as things progress.

Just hope u are posting this from ur heart nd not pretending. Pls do everything within ur power to channel ya energy towards a meaningful venture instead of crying nd wincing like a small baby over woman matter. Be strong bro u ll be just fine trust me, o was there.

First of all, I would like to say that those who opined that he shouldn't have spent money on this girl seem to have omitted the part where he said that they had been pooling resources as a couple. I particulary detest guys who see themselves as being too smart to spend on the girls they are with. They end up being the fools in the long run.
Now, back to the issue at hand. If the girl wants to get married, please let her be if you aren't ready. This thing called emotion is like disco lights. The very fact that you are in love with her today, doesn't mean you would eventually feel the same tomorrow. If you can't strike now by getting married to her while the iron of love is still hot , let her go. One thing I have come to realize is that only about 10% of women actually get married to men of their dreams. When women get to a particular age, they have to settle for whoever meets certain criteria, and is ready when they are. True, she may be passionately head over heels in love with you, but she wants a family and kids too. Unfortunately, you aren't ready. If you really want to, all these excuses about money wont even come in at all. There are so many young men who get married with family support. Some later turned out well. A very good example is the Mount Zion Movies guy. You have two options- ask her to marry you so you don't lose her or forget her.

cococandy:
But 6 years of relationship. How long were you planning on dating her?

Thanks! My sister. nasoo dem dey ask person.
I was with her before she got into the university.
I stood by her thru all ds period. I was alrdy working and all dt.
She slowed me down actaully!
The 6 yrs was for her maturity, her family approval and all dt shit. It is a vry long story, but l av tried to highlight d few points. I had all it took to get married.
To Mr OP, fast forward to ds moment, l have seen growth in my life in a short time l had not seen in 6 yrs.

Ronneby:
I cant remember when last I logged into naira land but I usually view peoples post and comment.

What strikes me about your post is that I went through a sort of similar experience in the past and I seem to know how you are feeling right now. Feeling of rejection sort of?

What I did in my own case was to detach myself from the relationship I can assure you it wasn't easy but I promised myself one thing and which is that I will strive to be successful in life that years after when the girls family members or the girl herself see me or come across me they will know they made a wrong choice by letting go of me.

That was the push for me which propelled me to achieve greater heights through legal means . Though it might initially look like things are not working out for you initially but I can assure you that if you put your heart to it with determination and trusting God, you will surely get there.

This is the spirit, i honestly think that men should subjected to this sort of experience cos it propelled you to achieve and become successful in life.

The moment you get over it, your life usually take a new turn to a better tomorrow.

It’s a good thing for a smart man...

ezenwajosh:
It happened to me...my oga just settled me and few years later her mother developed eye problem that can lead to blindness if not operated...and the mother is all she and her sister got their father died when they where kids...I had to sell all in my shop collected my money from those owing me...gave it to her, the money still wasn't enough remains small but was later paid by somebody....a prince...after the operation it was a success I thank God but I now have little remaining of me....she stopped caring or asking how am doing....she later told me her mom wants her to marry i said to whom she said a prince that took care of her remaining bill...but her friend who pittied me told me she has been dating a prince and the guy has proposed and she accepted....I confronted her she asked me if she's the one that ran down my business....I will never forget that day I was coming back from my shop in evening...speaking on the phone she asked me that question tears ran down my eyes in the keke.....alot happened but i stood strong managed sell all I had remaining and left nigeria to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.....today she's not married yet, I don't know if this will make you feel any better but let her go....it's will be difficult take it go through it and move on...ITS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE if u can manage do all u can and leave Nigeria....that place will not grow ur finance

So na drug pushing go help him finance?

cruchenutii:


EHHHHHNN !!! Madam Feminist. So you too can be so nice like this? Wawu !!!

Who told you feminism has anything against people being nice to each other?

Philosophia:
Hello Romancelanders,

Please help me! I have a very serious issue on my hands. I opened this account because of this, for advice from you. It's actually a long story, but I will try to keep it short.

I have been in a relationship with my gf for 3yrs+ now. We had both not been ready for marriage at the time. She said she had things that she wanted to achieve so she would give herself 5yrs. I felt the same way too but I was looking at my age to settle down as 29 or 30. She was almost 21 at the time, I was 24 at the time.

When I met her she was a shaken, frightened, stubborn and love-starved young lady. Her parents were trying to force into marriage with a "family friend's" son whom she did not like plus she was not ready to settle down at the time. Her father is a retired military man and would use extreme measures like locking her up in a room for days. Anyways, I supported her in everyway I could at the time even at a time meeting the so-called "family friend's" son. I did not intend to get into a relationship at the time but certain things happened and I began to fall in love with her plus she needed love and care so badly. She is a very smart, motivated and beautiful young lady.

We got into a relationship and with time, the pressure as regards marrying the guy died or so I thought. From then till now, we have both been striving hard to make things get better. She was trying to run a business while I was working at a small magazine company. Unfortunately I admit, even though I was not earning much at the magazine, I was careless with my finances. I would spend on her, us and on a couple of mundane things but the bulk was on her and us.

Well, the financial crunch hit and I lost my job being owed several months in back-salary. I had very little savings. Things were not going too well with her in her business either. And so what little savings I had plus borrowed money from my parents joined with her own funds(including borrowed money), we started a business. We have been almost a year into the business now. Things are so dull. She hardly comes to the office anymore. I manage to go with little funds raised from teaching at minor places plus my parents support. We have been trying a "new" field though which seems a bit positive.

You have the back story now. Here is the problem.

Of recent, her body language and speech + whatsapp chat seemed to be dodgy, non-committal and atimes even coated with disdain. I knew something was wrong. I had wanted to talk to her and she said she wanted to discuss something with me as well, but she had basically refused to show-up when I call her out. Well, I was not so much a fan of going to her house because of chances of meeting her mum plus her several siblings But I braved it and showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her what the matter was.

She told me of how her family was pressuring her and almost everyone she met was telling her to try and settle down. She said how she knows that I am not ready to settle down anytime soon. She said she had been praying about it and she has received an answer that she should settle down and that she do so before this time next year. She wants to get married before her birthday. People, she said several things and I said several things and I walked out angrily and dazed but I just gave the highlight of the issue. I could not wrap my head properly around it for a while but later I calmed down and I asked her a few questions.

It seems her mind is made up on marriage. She says she would prefer if it was me because she loves me, but if not, it is the will of God. She said some other things. I am just dazed and I don't know how to take it or how to act or what to do.

My life is not where I want it to be. I don't have the resources to turn things around right now. I am in a quagmire. Please Help!

Fück you

Okay

ofalu047:


Thanks! My sister. nasoo dem dey ask person.
I was with her before she got into the university.
I stood by her thru all ds period. I was alrdy working and all dt.
She slowed me down actaully!
The 6 yrs was for her maturity, her family approval and all dt shit. It is a vry long story, but l av tried to highlight d few points. I had all it took to get married.
To Mr OP, fast forward to ds moment, l have seen growth in my life in a short time l had not seen in 6 yrs.

Philosophia:
So many things have crossed my mind. Is she seeing someone? But she assures me that she's not seeing anyone. Is she just looking for a fresh start? What did I do terribly wrong?

I am so confused. I called her, maybe to get direction or to hear something else. I'm not sure. She is advising me to fast and pray about it to get direction on what to do. She said she has prayed and fasted and she was told to prepare her mind for marriage.

I do not want to loose her but I don't know how I am supposed to do that. What is that supposed to achieve for me?

I am so lost.

in every tin give thanks to God.God knows the best,there is way that seemth rite unto a man but the end is destruction. bros it's well

Jonathan:

Fück you

Bros pls can you justify this?

The girl is telling you to cry to God for a change. Fast and pray as you told her then fix a time to get married to her. In my opinion it is more about you having a profitable living and second raising a family

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Ehyaa don't worry ooh

Come and cry on my shoulders ooh, is empty

Take handkerchief......... ngwa wipe ur face oooh

My brother, I've been in those shoes before. I dated mine for eight years, at a point she started showing the other side of her. I held on to her like she's my life, couldn't imagine losing her to another, and she took every advantage of my love to hot me mercilessly without remorse. We had dreams and aspirations for the futures, but trust our girls, they always have something up their sleeves. She cheated multiple times, out of ma unconditional love for her, I still held on to her. I knew this girl would leave me one day, but I couldn't bear the thought of moving on without her. She was literally the air that I breathed, until it happened over three years ago. She jilted me when I needed her most, at the lowest moment of my life, when I needed her moral support, love and care, claiming SHE'S NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, thinking she'll be getting married soon to a ready suitor. Little did I know she was seeing two other guys as well. To cut the long story short my guy, almost four years down the lane, my ex is yet to get a ring. Bottom line, although I went through hell then, I found the courage to move on and I'm better for it cus I learnt so many things from that mistake. Don't see her as you all in all. I know you must be thinking of the loss of investment on her, but let me assure you, this is gonna be the best that has ever happened to you. Just let her go, you'll be fine without her. You were living before you met her and you can still live better without her. The freedom and relief you will enjoy without her in your life is beyond imagination. Just make good use of your life, now that the distraction is about to kiss the door.

Philosophia:
[img][/img]

What you guys are saying is the hardest thing for me to do right now. It is hard to even contemplate. My hands are even shaking as I type this.

lolz, it hurts cos it's your first time, now you've learnt a big lesson, don't do any stupid thing to yourself, cheer up, pick up yourself and move on, now you've understood better the way the games are being played hahaha, gone are days ladies wait on love, since 1960 they now go for the highest bidder, grow your bank account grow it very well and make it fat then go for any lady you want, you will see its gonna be easy, that's the only language they understand, mehn I've got a diva spying on my FB, see ya later. All the best.

Go after her sisters. Finish them all.

Bibi294:

When you don't know what it means to love...

We have all been through that shiit called love at some point in our lives...it isnt worth it...

I know couple of years from now, op will curse himself for allowing emotion to rule him...

pocohantas:
Na una go tire.
Continue to blast single ladies o.
They'll keep breaking your hearts and marrying the ready guy. It's a vicious cycle.

When you are also ready, another young guy will be heartbroken.

I had to quote for the laughs.

At bolded, I reason that if young women are not castigated or excessively pressured into getting married before a certain age. Most guys will marry their first love or loved partners. But then, nature has a way of paying someone for deeds done.

You force ladies to marry before 28 like Emusimthy did months back, they retaliate by marrying the ready guy. OP's GF does not want to be seen as a leftover, "slay queen", standard looking kind of girl. Let her marry before she becomes 28 years old and have a thread created because of her spinsterhood.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

She wants to get married in one year's time,why not begin to plan towards it? Just double your hustle?

Bro, I know how u are feeling, to an extent-believe me I do. Buh from what u said, u are not likely settling down anytime sooner, and she gave u a time frame when she's expected to settle down. For her to sound like this, and u have discovered that gross disconnection in the strong chemistry u guys once shared or still sharing as the case may be...she's seen someone she thinks she can settle down with, and her family seems to be in full support. If u can make it within the time she said, ok, hence u really love this girl buh if she's gon put u into undue pressure, please let her go...there's someone special out there that is deserving of u and that can take all the pressure for u and stick with u. It's not the end of the world..goodluck man!

Philosophia:
[img][/img]

What you guys are saying is the hardest thing for me to do right now. It is hard to even contemplate. My hands are even shaking as I type this.

Suck it up bro...such is life....it will all end in praise...Never give up...your time to laugh and forget your past is on the way...cheer up.

i feel u bro.. women ar nt to be trusted a bit.. dts dere primary goal in life sha.. gettin married even if it means gettin married to the devil himself...
Hustle hard.. nd collect anoda person serious babe to marry .. d circle co
ntinue..

cococandy:

Who told you feminism has anything against people being nice to each other?

Awwwww !!! Coming from you, this is so niccce. Infact I'm blushing

Maduawuchukwu:


So na drug pushing go help him finance?

And who said anything àbout pushing drugs....Ur brains processing unit is outdated

cruchenutii:


Awwwww !!! Coming from you, this is so niccce. Infact I'm blushing

.

Because I’m allergic to BS doesn’t mean I’m not nice. This isn’t a rare occurrence. I’m always nice.
Except when I’m expected to entertain BS.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

I was exactly in ur shoes during January, almost exactly same scenario and it was 3yrs also.. but here I am feeling more life, trust me time really heals almost everything.. my advice just learn to love you first!

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

I feel your pain bro but you just have to let go. Double your hustle, a better match will show up. You will be fine in no time. Trust God, and believe in yourself.

Why date for 8 years?
What was your plan?

oebson:
My brother, I've been in those shoes before. I dated mine for eight years, at a point she started showing the other side of her. I held on to her like she's my life, couldn't imagine losing her to another, and she took every advantage of my love to hot me mercilessly without remorse. We had dreams and aspirations for the futures, but trust our girls, they always have something up their sleeves. She cheated multiple times, out of ma unconditional love for her, I still held on to her. I knew this girl would leave me one day, but I couldn't bear the thought of moving on without her. She was literally the air that I breathed, until it happened over three years ago. She jilted me when I needed her most, at the lowest moment of my life, when I needed her moral support, love and care, claiming SHE'S NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, thinking she'll be getting married soon to a ready suitor. Little did I know she was seeing two other guys as well. To cut the long story short my guy, almost four years down the lane, my ex is yet to get a ring. Bottom line, although I went through hell then, I found the courage to move on and I'm better for it cus I learnt so many things from that mistake. Don't see her as you all in all. I know you must be thinking of the loss of investment on her, but let me assure you, this is gonna be the best that has ever happened to you. Just let her go, you'll be fine without her. You were living before you met her and you can still live better without her. The freedom and relief you will enjoy without her in your life is beyond imagination. Just make good use of your life, now that the distraction is about to kiss the door.