If I had never been in ur situation, I would have called u stupid names. But guy, don't get yourself troubled. Just give her some time, then return to her to find out if she z still on her stand. My own was that after all stories she told me, she quickly made a U-turn before another lady takes over.

fuckpro:
...surprise I know ... Unlike child bride you are use to

always talking out of point am tired of all dis Nairaland talkatives jare

What exactly did Sai Baba collected from you?

Keneking:
But where is lalasticlala sef...

Buhari's govt destroying relationships since 2015

Philosophia:
Hello Romancelanders,

Please help me! I have a very serious issue on my hands. I opened this account because of this, for advice from you. It's actually a long story, but I will try to keep it short.

I have been in a relationship with my gf for 3yrs+ now. We had both not been ready for marriage at the time. She said she had things that she wanted to achieve so she would give herself 5yrs. I felt the same way too but I was looking at my age to settle down as 29 or 30. She was almost 21 at the time, I was 24 at the time.

When I met her she was a shaken, frightened, stubborn and love-starved young lady. Her parents were trying to force into marriage with a "family friend's" son whom she did not like plus she was not ready to settle down at the time. Her father is a retired military man and would use extreme measures like locking her up in a room for days. Anyways, I supported her in everyway I could at the time even at a time meeting the so-called "family friend's" son. I did not intend to get into a relationship at the time but certain things happened and I began to fall in love with her plus she needed love and care so badly. She is a very smart, motivated and beautiful young lady.

We got into a relationship and with time, the pressure as regards marrying the guy died or so I thought. From then till now, we have both been striving hard to make things get better. She was trying to run a business while I was working at a small magazine company. Unfortunately I admit, even though I was not earning much at the magazine, I was careless with my finances. I would spend on her, us and on a couple of mundane things but the bulk was on her and us.

Well, the financial crunch hit and I lost my job being owed several months in back-salary. I had very little savings. Things were not going too well with her in her business either. And so what little savings I had plus borrowed money from my parents joined with her own funds(including borrowed money), we started a business. We have been almost a year into the business now. Things are so dull. She hardly comes to the office anymore. I manage to go with little funds raised from teaching at minor places plus my parents support. We have been trying a "new" field though which seems a bit positive.

You have the back story now. Here is the problem.

Of recent, her body language and speech + whatsapp chat seemed to be dodgy, non-committal and atimes even coated with disdain. I knew something was wrong. I had wanted to talk to her and she said she wanted to discuss something with me as well, but she had basically refused to show-up when I call her out. Well, I was not so much a fan of going to her house because of chances of meeting her mum plus her several siblings But I braved it and showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her what the matter was.

She told me of how her family was pressuring her and almost everyone she met was telling her to try and settle down. She said how she knows that I am not ready to settle down anytime soon. She said she had been praying about it and she has received an answer that she should settle down and that she do so before this time next year. She wants to get married before her birthday. People, she said several things and I said several things and I walked out angrily and dazed but I just gave the highlight of the issue. I could not wrap my head properly around it for a while but later I calmed down and I asked her a few questions.

It seems her mind is made up on marriage. She says she would prefer if it was me because she loves me, but if not, it is the will of God. She said some other things. I am just dazed and I don't know how to take it or how to act or what to do.

My life is not where I want it to be. I don't have the resources to turn things around right now. I am in a quagmire. Please Help!

It's not late, first I would like to help you out in your financial aspect, not asking you for money, I would like to give you something to use and watch your financial life turn around within a week, what I will give you will attract all kinds of women to you you can get a new better one if you choose, will also attract your current GF back to you. It's for both love and business prosperity. When you confirm it. You can come thank me later with something nice.

I brought our time to read your writeup and I will advise you to allow her be. That girl is a distraction to you and without her, I see you becoming focused on your life.

She loves you yes, but she already has an alternative and that's a good thing for you at this time if your life.

If you plan to move up in life, forget love and women for now. Love is a good thing but at this stage of your life, it's a destiny killer.

oga be a man, the girl didn't do anything wrong
there are many reasons a girl leave a guy
this just one as the gal claimed
go for another

Philosophia:
So many things have crossed my mind. Is she seeing someone? But she assures me that she's not seeing anyone. Is she just looking for a fresh start? What did I do terribly wrong?

I am so confused. I called her, maybe to get direction or to hear something else. I'm not sure. She is advising me to fast and pray about it to get direction on what to do. She said she has prayed and fasted and she was told to prepare her mind for marriage.

I do not want to loose her but I don't know how I am supposed to do that. What is that supposed to achieve for me?

I am so lost.

Guy, I perfectly get what your going through... because I went through similar stuff.

I'll summeriise, and be brief...yes your in pain now..but this pain will do two things to you, depending on you, if you stay positive, be God dependent you will meet a better person...or let it depress you and soak you in negativity which will drag you years back in terms of finance, etc. But your thinking won't affect bher plans or her intended marriage so you'll only be killing yourself.

Talking frm experience, years from now you will see her and laugh over the matter...she may not laugh though because evidently she loves you...but girls marry for many reasons love is not in the top of their list.so she may most likely suffer in this new relationship because, she's spent more time with you and is marrying the other. Guy for society...she may suffer or not but she will put up a front like shes happy

Move on bro, girls are hard hearted... both chuch and non church girls ..they don't marry for love

Don't depress your self with some one who eloped, because things went bad financially, get busy and get your mind occupied, you'll laugh over the matter with time...she will probably cry over bthe matter with time...she eneterd a spiritual concept with a physical idea..

jdluv:
you have bein gettin advice from men... Let me give you froma lady view, that lady has someone else knockin. She might Not have said yes but the guy is tellin her the "i am not here for jokesi really wantto marry you if you say yes we can have the wedding before the year run out" line. then This Got her thinkin. if i wereto advice you i will say tell her to do a break down costin for a weddin

she wantto have then fix date for introduction make It distant. During this period she will come backto her sense. If she hasnt fall finish forthe new person. You can thankme later

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

You'll have to get over it, the first time usually hurts the most. If she doesn't want to be with you, the sooner you let her go, the quicker you'll get over the heartbreak.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Bro, i understand ya emotion and i know how you feel. One thing i want ye to know is that the girl's love for you has fade away. She's leaving ye not because she needs to marry but because she has gotten a side guy unscrewing her brain with some tame. If truly she loves you and want to get marry at instant,then why can't she encourage you to get little money to just do low key wedding. A lady loves is being determine and measure at this point you are. To cut it short my lovely brother, ask her if you can get marry with the way you are now,just the blessing from both parent and move together. If she insist, then leave her and let her do her wish,it may be difficult but with time,you will get yaself back. But i promise you something she will regret her action except if you are not ready to marry her

l didn't read your write up bro... but ll advice u let that girl do what she wants... " if u love someone, set them free! if they return then they are for u and if they don't then it was never destined to be" ( que Sera Sera)... move on

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

bro calm down. I dated a girl for three and a half years, showed her to all my family and all that and she still went ahead and cheated with a little undergrad guy. She is married now and we even still spoke today. Women these days live only for the present. The moment u understand this, nothin will ever surprise u. U will heal. Just stay calm.

Baba, go jhor! Na today ?? Let her go please herself.

Wetin deh do me now, woh e pass heart break... jah put a smile on my face

chillychill:
always talking out of point am tired of all dis Nairaland talkatives jare

...u need to be intelligent while reading my post
you depict a northerner and child marriage is common there,hence your acclamation of three years! get it!
...and am no talkative am sure you mistook me for someone else

Safe journey to her..we have seen this happen many times.. forget her bro...she is already gone..forget that lame excuse..."boo you are not ready...my folks are pressuring me and this guy is ready to marry...I love boo but I can't go against the wishes of my people...bla bla bla....same old story bro

I read stories like this sometimes and wonder what's wrong with some guys . You are not ready to settle down and she wants to ,just let her go ,it ain't easy but you have to.
Stay focused on your hussle.

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

There is a part of love that works selflessly. If you believe your partner has a chance of a better life if she move on with someone else and you try to keep her against her will, in years to come if you guys still remain on the same financial scale, she would detest you as the one she sacrificed a lot for and all for naught. If you guys are true friends, wishing her the best will be what you should aim before and wherever you are, she would always appreciate you for this. Better to part as friends with you letting her know that her happiness is top rankling in your heart than your self love. You will be fine dear.

A good thing you realized where you went wrong concerning finances and that different seasons come to man in his lifetime. Now, work on your earning ability and do well for yourself as well. Once again, you will be fine.

Wishing you well - Teemy

fuckpro:
...u need to be intelligent while reading my post
you depict a northerner and child marriage is common there,hence your acclamation of three years! get it!
...and am no talkative am sure you mistook me for someone else

I wish u aren't a talkative...

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

OGBENI be a man and move on.

If you like, stay sad from now till next year, the yam is already burnt.

Danladi7:

Get ready for marriage with her.you both dont have to be rich to get married if she really loves you.If you become rich,get married and things take downtown will you divorce each other.If you now propose marriage and she says NO,then just know the girl is using "marriage" as an excuse to break up with you.Then move on,she is not your wife.she is not really to struggle with you and she will definitely give you serious problem in future.

@ Your First 2 Sentence, Who Told You That?

Brother fact is bitter,can't swallow it easily,to me love is an ancient word that's we generation of today borrowed it to blackmail ourselves so to achieve our marital aim,so guy be a man and decide to make it in life,if she decide she want to go then makeup your mind and let her blame herself and her family for leaving you,SO BE A MAN

Honestly is not easy.. But you have to be financially stable first.. Let her go if she cant wait. You would fine another girl. Think about it would you allow your sister get married to a man like you. Baba hustle first

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

kilode why all this emotions just tripple ur hustle annd see d girl turn to ur guardian angel

so sorry bro but my advice dough its hard but u can get tru it...............move on

Headlesschicken:
Always put You first,and always make sure Yuh bank account x large b4 u start dating,women need serious financial security, money x d life line of every serious relationship phuck d love man,love doesn't put food on d table @ d end of d day,you have groomed her well,now x tym for u to let another n!gga reap d benefits, n wen x Yuh turn to settle down u snatch someone else's ,so x d circle of life,cheer up man...

Good One man

Don't kill ur self for dis there are many fishes in d river for u.

chillychill:
I wish u aren't a talkative...

...its actually a good thing a whole career can be built on it,its called mass communication and you could be the nation mouth piece 'mass disinformation '
but no am not a talkative actually the antithesis of one in real life

Philosophia:


Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Well,
I will keep on saying dis bro
"So far Satan fit betrayed God
So what about we" humans "
Life per head bro!
U ve learnt ya lesson bro
"Never in ya humble life seek for
joy or happiness from any fucking body"
U better clean ya face...u better think about
ya life....cos life is shit and shit can come any fucking time.....
She didn't receive any feed back from her prayer
Na lie,why is it dat,it was now she is praying about dis issue,why not back den, Oga na excuse
Let her go!
#ciao

So she will now marry another guy she dies not love just because she has to settle down. Marriage is not by force. I know of a friend's aunt that never married but she is more successful than a lot of ppl even going on to become a big woman in one of the states in naija. Now when she goes off and marries the other guy she will still come back to op to satisfy her love and it will lead to cheating. Naija sha.

Op sha I understand ur situation but I don't have advice as I'm way too inexperienced for this

I cant remember when last I logged into naira land but I usually view peoples post and comment.

What strikes me about your post is that I went through a sort of similar experience in the past and I seem to know how you are feeling right now. Feeling of rejection sort of?

What I did in my own case was to detach myself from the relationship I can assure you it wasn't easy but I promised myself one thing and which is that I will strive to be successful in life that years after when the girls family members or the girl herself see me or come across me they will know they made a wrong choice by letting go of me.

That was the push for me which propelled me to achieve greater heights through legal means . Though it might initially look like things are not working out for you initially but I can assure you that if you put your heart to it with determination and trusting God, you will surely get there.