tomtyte02:
You dont know if this makes sense? Bro, you have jedi-jedi from too much sense. Thumbs up.

simsay:
[s]Op will always find everything wrong about the women folk. Do you have any woman in your life at alleged . Do you appreciate them. When will you create a topic to appreciate them. I think I can guess why your marriage dint work. You may have expected to much from her than she can give. You sound like the complaining, nagging and the unsatisfiable kind of person.
I will advice that you get help. Most of what you write here are from your head and it says a lot about what goes on in your mind and life.

Forgive that woman that hurt you, forgive your exwife, if you miss her so much, call her and set things right with her instead of coming here to pour out your frustration on the women[/s]

Benita27:
RIP English.

Toks2008:


LWKMD! Your savagery is out of this word...

tosyne2much:
A very good one oga Toks

Sometimes in life, you have to slightly lower your standard before you can get the best in life. Many married men and women today actually found themselves getting married to that very person who was probably below their standard.

The earlier you know that you just can't continue to live by a particular standard, the better for you


There's a whole lot of sense in this write-up

tosyne2much:
A very good one oga Toks

Sometimes in life, you have to slightly lower your standard before you can get the best in life. Many married men and women today actually found themselves getting married to that very person who was probably below their standard.

The earlier you know that you just can't continue to live by a particular standard, the better for you


There's a whole lot of sense in this write-up

alexialin:







I beg to disagree on that marry below standards.

Nah.

I rather remain single than marry below my standards.
Too much headaches ,can't deal.

lefulefu:
though u have a point but i no fit marry a stark illiterate ugly fish seller...even if she has back.wouldn't want my paddies to laugh at me.

You still dey miss the point baba.. I no dey talk about fish seller jawe

Read my previous comment to see what I'm trying to talk about

tosyne2much:
How many people dey marry their standard? How many people end up becoming pilots, doctors and engineers as we used to brag about it when we were kids?

Why do men who love classy and curvy ladies end up marrying ladies moderately looking ladies?

Abeg just pray for a good partner jawe. I was right when I said most people don't end up marrying their taste

lefulefu:
though u have a point but i no fit marry a stark illiterate ugly fish seller...even if she has back.wouldn't want my paddies to laugh at me.

alexialin:






Am very aware alot of people marry below their standards. Just few months back, friend and neighbor was advising me to marry a guy below my standards and below standards in my own definition does not mean the career he's into.

Well career may be part of it but my major concern is the IQ, and wisdom in handling issues not just his accumulation of degrees.
There are pilots, doctors, bankers out there, that their mentality is all mixed up and one will be like? Is this person living in this world or out of space.. Lol.

So my friend was like I should marry a guy, whose sister came to meet me for marriage. I was touched when the sister was explaining how she would love me to marry their brother, who is their first born but still single and no job at hand.
As she put her story, maybe if I marry him. My goodwill will rub off on him and he will definitely be a good husband till the end of time.
Sighs I looked at the lady and I said OK, lemme meet your brother.

Her face beamed with smiles and hope. She said he will come tomorrow and see me. I said OK. But Lo and behold I. Met him, I wasn't attracted at all. And he has a glint of anger in his eyes, which he tried concealing with smiles. Anyways we talked sha. And I told him I will think about it. And give him a call if God says he's the one.


Please am not making shakara, am. Just been careful. And am not in the school. Of thoughts that love will grow as the years go by.

If the feelings is not there, then I can't venture in. It will be suicidal for both of us at the end.
So my neighbor was like, but I can Behind him up to my standards, I smiled I said am. Not talking about dressing him up on fancy clothes and feeding him till he becomes muscular. That's not the standards am talking about.

Naturally am flashy and magnificent in looks. Am not boasting Pls. So if a guy like him wants to marry me, his heart must be strong cos of the snide remarks of his friends and people when they see us together. Orelse a time may come he will crack after a while and start beating me up, so I will end up looking haggard and over old sef. which is one bondage am Not ready to place myself in.

Although I didn't tell him all these o.

So that's just it. But thank God am dating a guy whos my standard and have so much patience to handle my impulsiveness sometimes.

My dear, Na my standard Biko I prefer.
I can't settle for less. Orelse there will be disaster inbetween.

It's good to know that your new found lover is your standard. Abeg sha let me know when wedding date don set ooo

tosyne2much:
It's good to know that your new found lover is your standard. Abeg sha let me know when wedding date don set ooo

Toks2008:


I set you free from symptoms of CPDS(Chronic psychological disorientation syndrome)

simsay:


Well done op, you are really worse than I thought, you became an addict to nairaland to gain supports from sociopaths like you who share in your sick ideologies. Look for how to deal with your depression. Someone who is a failure in marriage is not by any standard fit to advice anyone about it. If she's as bad as u paint her, how come u married her in the first place, with all the write up on nairaland, how come you choose wrongly. How come is it that you dint live by your own advices. What if she isn't the problem but you are. You think and dream of how to hurt women's feeling then come here to put down those thoughts.
Tokunbo, or whoever you are, you need help.

Toks2008:


First class troll...Chai! all these on top of another man Matta. ..for the records,I'm not in the league of guys that talk down on my ex NEVER...in fact she was the best thing that ever happened to me but sometimes shits happen.

Yes I was sonewhat married and even if it crashed I still believe I'm very qualified to give marital advise cos I have passed through the road...

Please spend your time contructively and stop trolling....Odensin

simsay:


Well done op, you are really worse than I thought, you became an addict to nairaland to gain supports from sociopaths like you who share in your sick ideologies. Look for how to deal with your depression. Someone who is a failure in marriage is not by any standard fit to advice anyone about it. If she's as bad as u paint her, how come u married her in the first place, with all the write up on nairaland, how come you choose wrongly. How come is it that you dint live by your own advices. What if she isn't the problem but you are. You think and dream of how to hurt women's feeling then come here to put down those thoughts.
Tokunbo, or whoever you are, you need help.

simsay:


You put yourself in the position to be trolled, a self acclaimed relashionship expert that can't put his own house in order. She was the best thing that happened to you, really, but you just couldn't fight for her, for your marriage, isn't it. Well am not suprised, you ruined yours, and you are teaching others to tow that line with this hates on women topics.
Everytime you create a topic here, you further create a wedge between men and women. They come here hating on each other. You further empower misogynists.
And some simple minded people take in the garbage to their own detriment. At the end of the day, you have ruined someone's relationship out there.
Stop, this thing you are doing toks, it won't help. Look inwards first and put the pieces of your life together. If all you think of is how bad women are or could be, that is all you will get.
Like I said earlier, how much do you love the women in your life, take out time to appreciate the women by creating a lovely topic. Love changes things toks, when you truly love, we will all see it

Toks2008:


I wont be surprised if you are a lady cos you put emotions in everything you do,say or think.I decide o respond just to set the tables straight and if after reading this comment,you stillhold on toyour view then im sorry i cant help further.

Look at my threads and read them normally and not upsidedown as many nairalanders do expecially the ladies. Now get this clear..we live in a wicked and uncaring world of men and o matter how i preach about the need for guys to be good to their ladies,those who will misbehave will still do so.

My threads are mostly geared towards making the women strong SHOULD THEY END UP WITH UNCARING GUYS AND CHEATS. We all know that few guys are good but most guys willbreak a ladys heart without any mercy.

Claiming that my threads encourages guys to do bad towarsd their women is the dumbest thing i have ever read on nairaland.

Everyday i see female divorcees or single mums and surprisingly,8 out of 10 left their husbands because he cheated on hem and i tend to wonder if ladies will ever get it..THERE IS NOTHING LIKE ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN in the real sense but what we mostl have is one man one wife and many concubines but i guess its ok by the deluded woman as long as the man does not marry them..how foolish.

A man who stays faithful to one woman all his marital life is a rare gem but what happens to most ladies who find themselves with a cheat?these are the set of ladies i focus on..to let them know that there is more to life than looking for a faithful man upandan...

If you are still unmarried then it is really a waste of time for me to respond but i hope other will learn from these responses and if you are married then just pray you never catch your man or better still your man never cheats on hou cos if he ever does then come back and read m threads.

And lastly an advise for you..i am a very simpe minded man,and ou dont need to create new ID to counter me..just use your old one,and be free to ask questions rather than attack me and my personal life.

tosyne2much:
So, you mean someone is not worthy of giving relationship advice because his own relationship actually ended on a sour note?


Is that not what you're driving at?

simsay:



You need to understand that as there are different cultures and traditions, so do their interpretations to relationships and marriages differ.
Some cultural practices of marriage is wrong like marriage conducted between children as we have in India or marriage to minors as we have in some religion. For such people, the world is putting them under intense pressure to change their culture.
There is nothing as such as static culture. The Africa we have today is not the same as the precolonial era, so as the interpretation to relashionships
Moslem men are allowed to marry as many as 4women, if a woman decides to live with that, that is her choice and everyone should be happy for her.
In christianity, it's one man and one wife, the standard will never change. If you are a Christian man, you must never haveconcubines or 2 wives, that is the standard. Of course there are Christian men who cheat and there are lots of men who remain faithful to their wives, and yes, women are allowed to demand faithfulness from their men.
A man whose his wife cheat on has the choice to stay in the marriage or leave. A woman who makes the same choice should be have her choice respected. Not everyone can deal with a cheating partner and must know that.

Now, there is nothing as such as cheating is in a man's DNA. The truth is cheating is in everyone's DNA. Everyone has the capability to cheat. There are women who also cheat on faithful men. The difference between a cheating partner and a non cheating partner is a word and that word is selfcontrol.
Now, more girls than boys are taught self control from childhood, such that it becomes part of them more than their male counterparts.
Things are so bad with our men such that we hear cases of men sexually harassing their own children, househelp, even babies

We all need to step back a little and train our men how to have self control instead of trying to configure women to accepting a cheating husband.

We now leave in a difficult world were baby girls can't be left in the hand of their fathers, uncle,brothers, friends. Don't u see its a serous problem.

We need teach our men, women inclusive of how to respect other people's privacy more importantly self control. The lack of self control as I said earlier is what leads to cheating and don't forget, everyone is capable of cheating.

And please don't bring up, this is Africa rhymes. There is no static culture, if we teach our children, teenagers and even adults right, we will have a better future.

simsay:


What would be your reaction if mercy Aigbe where to go online and become a relationship expert? Everyone has a right to express themselves and anybody can learn from anyone's experience.

Relationship and marriage is a very delicate matter, such that, if you are looking for a mentor, the basic standards is Someone who is happily married for a long time whose marriage has gone through the thick and thin. Such person will go as far as telling personal experiences, how he solves disput with his wife, the secrets to a lasting marriage.

But you come online and tokunbo tells you it's OK to cheat on your wife, women just have to deal with it cos there are no better men out there, then you absorb it and treat your wife shabily, hurt her feeling, she becomes withdrawn and start looking for someone to fill the empty space.
Am not saying that all he says on this forum is wrong. But look at the thread on women being their ownworst enemies and see how men and women are calling themselves names. I feel so bad reading such. But it makes toks feel accomplished which worries me.

Toks2008:


You deserve a standing ovation for your never ending hilarious myopia of the mind regarding this subject matter.

As long as you have passed through a road,you are very qualified to educate people about the road regardless of your experience on the road.

I strongly sense that you are a lady and I pray you don't end up in psycaltry if your man ever cheats on you(no pun) because with the way you are going,you won't be able to handle it so I really pray for you.

As I will always reiterate,polygamy is complex and not for every man but enough of this silly mindset of women clamoring for me and my husband alone cos most of them end up miserable,lonely and an intimacy gadget in the hands of randy guys after they leave their husbands as a result of cheating.
It's none of your business if they end up lonely and desperate, they made their decision, respect their decision. If cheating was the cause of the breakup, why not address the problem, instead of asking someone to adjust with the problem.
You want to know if am a lady so you can look away from the topic and focus on the gender with all bias. If more men stand for what is right, things could actually be better.
Hey, that you pass through a road doesn't qualify you, cos you couldn't endure the thick and thin of the road before you gave up. Did u study womanology or the study of women, my guess is no,do you have a wife- no, have you trained a girl child upto the university level- my guess is no. Are you a trained marriage counsellor, if so, where is your certificate.

Guy, u can't give what you don't have. You failed in your marriage (the bitter truth, marriage doesn't work for everyone, fine, but for a self acclaimed marriage counsellor, you dint even take your own advice in choosing a life partner) and it seems you have deep seated issues with women. You should be seeing a psychologist or a certified marriage counsellor instead of advertising yourself as one.


And this is where I drop my pen.

Toks2008:


You deserve a standing ovation for your never ending hilarious myopia of the mind regarding this subject matter.

As long as you have passed through a road,you are very qualified to educate people about the road regardless of your experience on the road.

I strongly sense that you are a lady and I pray you don't end up in psycaltry if your man ever cheats on you(no pun) because with the way you are going,you won't be able to handle it so I really pray for you.

As I will always reiterate,polygamy is complex and not for every man but enough of this silly mindset of women clamoring for me and my husband alone cos most of them end up miserable,lonely and an intimacy gadget in the hands of randy guys after they leave their husbands as a result of cheating.

simsay:


It's none of your business if they end up lonely and desperate, they made their decision, respect their decision. If cheating was the cause of the breakup, why not address the problem, instead of asking someone to adjust with the problem.
You want to know if am a lady so you can look away from the topic and focus on the gender with all bias. If more men stand for what is right, things could actually be better.
Hey, that you pass through a road doesn't qualify you, cos you couldn't endure the thick and thin of the road before you gave up. Did u study womanology or the study of women, my guess is no,do you have a wife- no, have you trained a girl child upto the university level- my guess is no. Are you a trained marriage counsellor, if so, where is your certificate.

Guy, u can't give what you don't have. You failed in your marriage (the bitter truth, marriage doesn't work for everyone, fine, but for a self acclaimed marriage counsellor, you dint even take your own advice in choosing a life partner) and it seems you have deep seated issues with women. You should be seeing a psychologist or a certified marriage counsellor instead of advertising yourself as one.


And this is where I drop my pen.

Toks2008:


My GOD! All this epistle!

Sorry sir or madam...will this your epistle stop en from cheating? And who told you its a Christian standard to have one wife? where are you getting your doctrines from?

There was no where in the bible that condemns polygamy and what many Christians do is use human philosophy to give that doctrine.

The nearest quote of the striptures that ADVISES against not condemn polygamy was where Paul was advising Bishops and general overseers to be husband of one wife.

Please leave all these stories and focus on better things of life. If you are a lady and you find your husband cheating on you please do the best thing and leave him then come back after years to share your experience.

Have a great sunday

simsay:



You need to understand that as there are different cultures and traditions, so do their interpretations to relationships and marriages differ.
Some cultural practices of marriage is wrong like marriage conducted between children as we have in India or marriage to minors as we have in some religion. For such people, the world is putting them under intense pressure to change their culture.
There is nothing as such as static culture. The Africa we have today is not the same as the precolonial era, so as the interpretation to relashionships
Moslem men are allowed to marry as many as 4women, if a woman decides to live with that, that is her choice and everyone should be happy for her.
In christianity, it's one man and one wife, the standard will never change. If you are a Christian man, you must never haveconcubines or 2 wives, that is the standard. Of course there are Christian men who cheat and there are lots of men who remain faithful to their wives, and yes, women are allowed to demand faithfulness from their men.
A man whose his wife cheat on has the choice to stay in the marriage or leave. A woman who makes the same choice should be have her choice respected. Not everyone can deal with a cheating partner and must know that.

Now, there is nothing as such as cheating is in a man's DNA. The truth is cheating is in everyone's DNA. Everyone has the capability to cheat. There are women who also cheat on faithful men. The difference between a cheating partner and a non cheating partner is a word and that word is selfcontrol.
Now, more girls than boys are taught self control from childhood, such that it becomes part of them more than their male counterparts.
Things are so bad with our men such that we hear cases of men sexually harassing their own children, househelp, even babies

We all need to step back a little and train our men how to have self control instead of trying to configure women to accepting a cheating husband.

We now leave in a difficult world were baby girls can't be left in the hand of their fathers, uncle,brothers, friends. Don't u see its a serous problem.

We need teach our men, women inclusive of how to respect other people's privacy more importantly self control. The lack of self control as I said earlier is what leads to cheating and don't forget, everyone is capable of cheating.

And please don't bring up, this is Africa rhymes. There is no static culture, if we teach our children, teenagers and even adults right, we will have a better future.

Julivas:


Brilliant submission no doubt, but can you please tell me the reason why God took only one rib from the ribs of Adam to create Eve?