₦airaland Forum

LordAdam:
Your last statement says it all.

How anyone can reduce all women from individuals having different desires to a singularity with one idealistic frame of mind is beyond me.

And later they complain that our women only care about money. When you firmly believe anyone who is a side chick for anything but money has "zero self-worth"? Why should she risk the stigma to be with you for any other reason but money? If she had other reasons, she'd dismiss or hastily bury them.

-Lord

Lool. Is this the excuse you want to use to justify why some girls are so materialistic , Come on you can do better. A girl who likes money likes money, it's that simple. Just this week, I was arguing with some people, that not all Nigerian girls are after money even thou it's really hard to make a case for them. Of course we know not all women are the same, nothing in this world applies to 100%. Even thou most girls would tell you "all men are the same"
Like I said before, I was talking about a specific context based on the example the OP gave. And I'm very sure the girl was single

weyreypey:
why are you cheating on your partner?

No I'm not cheating on anybody. What has that got to do with this topic if I may ask?

CeeKay17:
Exactly, and that was the kind of example he gave in his write-up. Of course we know not all women are the same. Women date guys for different reasons,women cheat on their partners for different reasons. That's not the context we were talking about

gbam! Its like a 22 yr old guy who has a girlfriend dating a 48 yr old lady married to a rich man. Now could u refer to the 48 yr old lady as his sidechic? Of course u can't. Such a relationship would have a whole different definition.

CeeKay17:
I never said it's only money. You are mistaking me for the other guy. I said most of the time it's for the money but there are always exceptions.
And yes I don't believe in people settling for less. I'm the kind of person that doesn't stick around if I feel you're not invested in me the way I am. Maybe I misunderstood the context of side chick here, But If a girl is playing wife/gf duties for a guy who only treats her like a side-chick, yes she has zero self-worth. That's what I meant. If you choose to call it judgmental fine.
I actually realize some girls who are side chicks, know where they stand in the r/ship, so they don't go playing wifely duties to a guy who doesn't take them seriously.
So I take back my earlier statement seeing that the word 'side-chick' is a very broad term and can easily be misinterpreted.

Dude, what you believe doesn't f*cking matter! You don't live in the heads of the 80+ million females in Nigeria.

So if you're thinking she's settling for less by not screwing for cash, that may not be her thought. And you have no reason under the sun to think your thought is more valid than hers; after all you are not the one entering the relationship on her behalf. You can still hold your 19th century thought, after all there are guys half way across the world who think ladies shouldn't drive because it arouses them.

There are also gfs and wives who are main chicks who get treated worse than side chicks. Do they also have zero self-worth? And by the way, not all guys treat their side chicks like sh*t. And there are side chicks out there who are treated better than most so-called main chicks.

You guys just jumped into a discussion without specifying the terms of your engagement and are now eating your words out of sheer embarrassment.

-Lord

LordAdam:
Your last statement says it all.

How anyone can reduce all women from individuals having different desires to a singularity with one idealistic frame of mind is beyond me.

And later they complain that our women only care about money. When you firmly believe anyone who is a side chick for anything but money has "zero self-worth"? Why should she risk the stigma to be with you for any other reason but money? If she had other reasons, she'd dismiss or hastily bury them.

-Lord

u just being sentimental.a young single lady who agrees to be a sidechic to a married man is mostly doing it for monetary gains.lets call a spade a spade. There are married men who are unable to meet their family demands cos of the way the spend on their sidechic/sidechics outside their marriage so i don't understand u why acting as if its a good thing. That some single nigerian ladies allow themselves to be sidechics doesn't mean every Nigeria lady is into it. We are talking about d ones who are involved in the racket.

lefulefu:
and i said that in Nigeria the major factor for a single lady to accept whole heartedly to be a sidechic to married man or a man in a serious relationship is money and he started attacking me. The way u and highbow argue on this issue its like u guys watch a lot of telenovella movies.Seems like its where u guys get your experience on it.

A. Oga, "only thing" is not the same thing as "major thing".
B. I've never watched a telenovela and I'm not a romantic. You simply can't go around saying all women accept to be sidechicks solely for financial security. That smacks of ignorance. It's that simple. If you say all the women you've interacted with, I wouldn't have a problem, you can't give what you don't have; and we are who we are attract for the most part. But to extend it to every Nigerian woman, 99.99% of which you haven't met, is over the top.

-Lord

LordAdam:
Dude, what you believe doesn't f*cking matter! You don't live in the heads of the 80+ million females in Nigeria.

So if you're thinking she's settling for less by not screwing for cash, that may not be her thought. And you have no reason under the sun to think your thought is more valid than hers; after all you are not the one entering the relationship on her behalf. You can still hold your 19th century thought, after all there are guys half way across the world who think ladies shouldn't drive because it arouses them.

There are also gfs and wives who are main chicks who get treated worse than side chicks. Do they also have zero self-worth? And by the way, not all guys treat their side chicks like sh*t. And there are side chicks out there who are treated better than most so-called main chicks.

You guys just jumped into a discussion without specifying the terms of your engagement and are now eating your words out of sheer embarrassment.

-Lord

What you believe doesn't matter either. And nowhere in my post did I say my opinion is more valid than others. To be honest I don't know why you are so pained. See as you carry woman matter for head like gala . Goodnight Mr Woman Rights Activist

CeeKay17:
No I'm not cheating on anybody. What has that got to do with this topic if I may ask?

not difficult to identify a cheat

CeeKay17:
Lool. Is this the excuse you want to use to justify why some girls are so materialistic , Come on you can do better. A girl who likes money likes money, it's that simple. Just this week, I was arguing with some people, that not all Nigerian girls are after money even thou it's really hard to make a case for them. Of course we know not all women are the same, nothing in this world applies to 100%. Even thou most girls would tell you "all men are the same"
Like I said before, I was talking about a specific context based on the example the OP gave. And I'm very sure the girl was single

Really, do you want to change the conversation? Everyone (well, except the Ascetics) likes money! So stop making it seem like anyone came to this life to escort others.

We're talking about the reasons why women accept to be side chicks. Stick to the topic.

-Lord

lefulefu:
gbam! Its like a 22 yr old guy who has a girlfriend dating a 48 yr old lady married to a rich man. Now could u refer to the 48 yr old lady as his sidechic? Of course u can't. Such a relationship would have a whole different definition.

Very true. Yes technically she's still a side-chick, but that not what we generally refer to as side-chicks. It's like someone referring to humans as animals. Yes we are all animals, but we generally don't refer to ourselves as animals.
Both the topic and the write-up is a bit misleading to be honest. If you're referring to married women or girls in a r/ship dating another guy outside, we can't really say they are "agreeing to become sidechicks" because that obviously what they'll be in any case. The phrase "agreeing to become a sidechick" implies a single girl who decides to date a man that's already taken.

LordAdam:
A. Oga, "only thing" is not the same thing as "major thing".
B. I've never watched a telenovela and I'm not a romantic. You simply can't go around saying all women accept to be sidechicks solely for financial security. That smacks of ignorance. It's that simple. If you say all the women you've interacted with, I wouldn't have a problem, you can't give what you don't have; and we are who we are attract for the most part. But to extend it to every Nigerian woman, 99.99% of which you haven't met, is over the top.

-Lord

there are ladies in Nigeria who think they are in serious relationships but they are actually sidechics because their boyfriend might give them dat false impression while behind her back he's already doing marriage arrangements with another lady. We are not talking of such ladies. What we are talking about are single ladies who know the man they are involved with is already married or about to get married but they still agree to play the second fiddle. In such a situation, financial inducements can never be downplayed.

Highbrow:
And why would the wife of a rich man be the side chick of a poor mechanic?

Now you have returned back to his point... It's all about the financial reward.
Am surprised you guys are arguing about this. It's a non factor in Nigeria, it might different in other regions/countries.

lefulefu:
u just being sentimental.a young single lady who agrees to be a sidechic to a married man is mostly doing it for monetary gains.lets call a spade a spade. There are married men who are unable to meet their family demands cos of the way the spend on their sidechic/sidechics outside their marriage so i don't understand u why acting as if its a good thing. That some single nigerian ladies allow themselves to be sidechics doesn't mean every Nigeria lady is into it. We are talking about d ones who are involved in the racket.

And yet again you throw up a limited definition of side chic. Are married men the only guys who have side chics?

One minute you realize side chick is a broad term, the next you're limiting your use of it.

BTW, who said every Nigerian lady is into becoming a side chick? And no one except you is talking only about the ones involved in the racket.

-Lord

CeeKay17:
Both the topic and the write-up is a bit misleading to be honest. If you're referring to married women or girls in a r/ship dating another guy, we can't really say they are "agreeing to become sidechicks" because that obviously what they'll be in any case. The phrase "agreeing to become a sidechick" implies a singl girls who decides to date a man that's already taken.

a lady already married or in a serious relationship dating another guy in a serious relationship or who is married..dat one na friends with benefit na. Yea d topic is a lady misleading.

Highbrow:
Thank you. This is another reason.

There are always many reasons but the major one is seen or identified as the real reason.

laliga01:
Now you have returned back to his point... It's all about the financial reward.
Am surprised you guys are arguing about this. It's a non factor in Nigeria, it might different in other regions/countries.

Funny thing is we aren't even bashing these ladies, we understand how things and we're just stating the obvious are but you would be surprised how some Nairaland activists would go at any length to defend these ladies. Maybe because they had the fortune of meeting the few 5-10% of Naija girls who aren't really concerned about money. I'm looking forward to the day NL girls would defend our Naija guys the way some guys are doing here

CeeKay17:
What you believe doesn't matter either. And nowhere in my post did I say my opinion is more valid than others. To be honest I don't know why you are so pained. See as you carry woman matter for head like gala . Goodnight Mr Woman Rights Activist

I've not even shared my belief. I've kept it to myself. All I'm pointing out is common sense. Side chick is an all-encompassing term, and financial security is far from the only credible reason why women become side chicks. You're the one making wild aspersions like you're an authority on the matter or have met and interviewed every Nigerian woman out there.

Calling you out for making a judgmental statement doesn't mean I'm pained. It's just that, calling you out. Your attempt to float this back at me is poor.

What were you expecting? You'd say women who agree to be side chicks for anything other than money have "zero self-worth" and everyone would swallow it like its syrup? Don't go about typing controversial stuff if you don't want to be pilloried for it.

No one is talking about women rights here. This is your second attempt to change the conversation, I wonder what your motive is.

If no one called you guys out, you wouldn't be taking back statements.

-Lord

lefulefu:
a lady already married or in a serious relationship dating another guy in a serious relationship or who is married..dat one na friends with benefit na. Yea d topic is a lady misleading.

That's exactly what I said earlier on. Yes they are still side-chicks or side-guy but we generally refer to them as FWBs cuz they have their own r/ship.
Nomenclature is important most times. When a Nigerian uses the word "Fuel", Kerosene, Diseal, Gas are all Fuels, but we know he's most likely referring to Petrol, not any of those.

CeeKay17:
Funny thing is we aren't even bashing these ladies, we understand how things and we're just stating the obvious are but you would be surprised how some Nairaland activists would go at any length to defend these ladies. Maybe because they had the fortune of meeting the few 5-10% of Naija girls who aren't really concerned about money. I'm looking forward to the day NL girls would defend our Naija guys the way some guys are doing here

You are on point... Not far from the truth man. In Nigeria, it's all about the money. Everybody de form nobody wan suffer hence that's the motivation.

LordAdam:
And yet again you throw up a limited definition of side chic. Are married men the only guys who have side chics?

One minute you realize side chick is a broad term, the next you're limiting your use of it.

BTW, who said every Nigerian lady is into becoming a side chick? And no one except you is talking only about the ones involved in the racket.

-Lord

single guys in serious relationships also keep side chics. But bear in mind that there are guys who would lie to the second lady of she being the only one in his life while at d same time dating d main chic. But Some other dudes are bold enough to tell the second lady to know her limits that they involved with a main bae and she would gladly accept. Now do u think an undergraduate who is not financially well off but is double dating would be bold enuf to tell the sidechic to his face that she's a side chic? ..especially if he's the one who depends financially on one or two of the ladies? The ladies or one of the ladies would kick him to the curb if she finds out he's playing hereven if his dic game is A+ she had still react. But a single male who is in financial control of himself and takes care of his side chic....she wont complain and she would accept her boundary cos she knows wat she's getting from the man. That's the way the circle plays in Nigeria sadly.

CeeKay17:
That's exactly what I said earlier on. Yes they are still side-chicks or side-guy but we generally refer to them as FWBs cuz they have their own r/ship.
Nomenclature is important most times. When a Nigerian uses the word "Fuel", Kerosene, Diseal, Gas are all Fuels, but we know he's most likely referring to Petrol, not any of those.

exactly!

lefulefu:
there are ladies in Nigeria who think they are in serious relationships but they are actually sidechics because their boyfriend might give them dat false impression while behind her back he's already doing marriage arrangements with another lady. We are not talking of such ladies. What we are talking about are single ladies who know the man they are involved with is already married or about to get married but they still agree to play the second fiddle. In such a situation, financial inducements can never be downplayed.

At what point did anyone make mention of the first instance here? The title is "5 reasons women AGREE to be side chicks." It's very clear.

And it didn't say single ladies/women either. You are making that up. It said women.

Financial inducement is a factor. Heck it is the #1 factor in the OP. The fact is that it is not the only factor. Your first jab at the OP said it was the only factor. That's the genesis of this back and forth.

You make an uninformed statement based on a misinterpretation of an unambiguous viewpoint, realize it wasn't in good taste, and then complain that your uninformed statement was hounded. Of course, it'd be trashed. Whose fault is it that you didn't read the thread title and OP comprehensively before commenting?

-Lord

laliga01:
You are on point... Not far from the truth man. In Nigeria, it's all about the money. Everybody de form nobody wan suffer hence that's the motivation.

gbam!

LordAdam:
I've not even shared my belief. I've kept it to myself. All I'm pointing out is common sense. Side chick is an all-encompassing term, and financial security is far from the only credible reason why women become side chicks. You're the one making wild aspersions l[b]ike you're an authority on the matter [/b]or have met and interviewed every Nigerian woman out there.

Calling you out for making a judgmental statement doesn't mean I'm pained. It's just that, calling you out. Your attempt to float this back at me is poor.

What were you expecting? You'd say women who agree to be side chicks for anything other than money have "zero self-worth" and everyone would swallow it like its syrup? Don't go about typing controversial stuff if you don't want to be pilloried for it.

No one is talking about women rights here. This is your second attempt to change the conversation, I wonder what your motive is.

If no one called you guys out, you wouldn't be taking back statements.

-Lord

NL is a public forum, if you choose not to air your opinions, it's your problem. Where in any of my posts did I imply I'm an authority on this matter?
We all know the word side-chick is an all encompassing term, and the OP's write-up was interpreted using the wrong context. I wonder what's your point really?
Using swear words clearly means your are pained.
I already cleared that up. I agree I used the wrong word "side-chick" and I explained exactly what I meant. If you choose to keep on harping on a statement I've already corrected, good for you.
Lool, I dint't take back my statement because you called me out, I did so cuz I the OP explained that he was referring to a broader term not what I thought
How exactly did I attempt to change the conversation? If anything, it's you who decided to turn what was previously a civil discussion into a cat fight which I would definitely not be dragged into.

LordAdam:
At what point did anyone make mention of the first instance here? The title is "5 reasons women AGREE to be side chicks." It's very clear.

And it didn't say single ladies/women either. You are making that up. It said women.

Financial inducement is a factor. Heck it is the #1 factor in the OP. The fact is that it is not the only factor. Your first jab at the OP said it was the only factor. That's the genesis of this back and forth.

You make an uninformed statement based on a misinterpretation of an unambiguous viewpoint, realize it wasn't in good taste, and then complain that your uninformed statement was hounded. Of course, it'd be trashed. Whose fault is it that you didn't read the thread title and OP comprehensively before commenting?

-Lord

i know in nairalanbd we love to polish up situations. Make things look sweet and rosy. If a man is very good looking, has a sweet personality as op puts it,his sex game is A+ but he is dead broke...my guy in this Nigeria he can't get a lady who is single that would offer to be his sidechic. Except of course he can be involved in a friends of benefit sort of relationship. He must get the dough to make a lady who would solely give up a better part of her life to be his sidechic. Where is the compensation for her in giving up her life for him.... His big dic? His shining personality? I laugh. If d guy no ready to drop then the other points op listed will be invalid. Drop Money first for the babe make become ur sidebae...or as ladies involved in d racket would say...take care of my needs.

lefulefu:
single guys in serious relationships also keep side chics. But bear in mind that there are guys who would lie to the second lady of she being the only one in his life while at d same time dating d main chic. But Some other dudes are bold enough to tell the second lady to know her limits that they involved with a main bae and she would gladly accept. Now do u think an undergraduate who is not financially well off but is double dating would be bold enuf to tell the sidechic to his face that she's a side chic? ..especially if he's the one who depends financially on one or two of the ladies? The ladies or one of the ladies would kick him to the curb if she finds out he's playing hereven if his dic game is A+ she had still react. But a single male who is in financial control of himself and takes care of his side chic....she wont complain and she would accept her boundary cos she knows wat she's getting from the man. That's the way the circle plays in Nigeria sadly.

Long story.

We're talking about ladies that agree to be side chicks; not ladies that are being played. Stop conflating the two.or no money.

-Lord

LordAdam:
Long story.

We're talking about ladies that agree to be side chicks; not ladies that are being played. Stop conflating the two.or no money.

-Lord

sure i know ..i just brought dat up. Anyway Its only in telemondo movies that a single lady would agree to be a sidechic for a man cos of his sweet nature or cos he's romantic.telemondo storylines are always sentimental and ridiculous.

lefulefu:
sure i know ..i just brought dat up. Anyway Its only in telemondo movies that a single lady would agree to be a sidechic for a man cos of his sweet nature or cos he's romantic.telemondo storylines are always sentimental and ridiculous.

Those days, girls will be forming "it's not all about the money" "money isn't everything"
Nowadays, they will even tell you to your face "I didn't come to this world to come and suffer" "If you no get money hide your face"
Is it not this same NL where all of them are shouting "broke guys, broke niggas" up and down. Even the ones that don't have up to 10k in their accounts.
Nothing in this world applies to 100%, there will always be exceptions to the rule. But when we say "Naija girls", we are talking about the "majority" not "ALL"

CeeKay17:
NL is a public forum, if you choose not to air your opinions, it's your problem. Where in any of my posts did I imply I'm an authority on this matter?
We all know the word side-chick is an all encompassing term, and the OP's write-up was interpreted using the wrong context. I wonder what's your point really?
Using swear words clearly means your are pained.
I already cleared that up. I agree I used the wrong word "side-chick" and I explained exactly what I meant. If you choose to keep on harping on a statement I've already corrected, good for you.
Lool, I dint't take back my statement because you called me out, I did so cuz I the OP explained that he was referring to a broader term not what I thought
How exactly did I attempt to change the conversation? If anything, it's you who decided to turn what was previously a civil discussion into a cat fight which I would definitely not be dragged into.

Do you have issues with comprehension?

Because here's my statement:

You're the one making wild aspersions like you're an authority on the matter or have met and interviewed every Nigerian woman out there.

Is it that you don't know the meaning of like or are you just trying to pick issues where there isn't any?

And if I choose not to air my opinion and instead choose to lambast your opinion, only for you to think I'm attacking you because I'm pained, then it's not my problem. I have no interest to pander to your emotions. You say something silly, you'll get trashed for it. No one is here to organize a pity party for you.

Swear words? Where did I use swear words? Is "judgmental" a swear word? Is "19th century thought" a swear term? Or are you just making stuff up now? Don't be a bloody snowflake who can't take criticism but can call people who make personal choices that have zero effect on you as individuals with "zero self-worth".

The OP has always referred to a broad term. If you read the topic and the OP thoroughly, you'd know he was referring to a broad term. You went on a tirade based on an ultra-conservative take of the term in a complete tangent to what the thread is about, culminating in you shading personal choices; a poor decision which you're just realizing now. Now instead of letting that go, you think cheap shots such as "Women Rights Activist" is a brilliant way to cover up your gaffe. It isn't.

It's typical, isn't it. You make an illogical statement, get hassled for it, recognize you have no defense, then cry foul that you were hassled. Trying to deflect attention with tantrums.

-Lord

CeeKay17:
Those days, girls will be forming "it's not all about the money" "money isn't everything"
Nowadays, they will even tell you to your face "I didn't come to this world to come and suffer" "If you no get money hide your face"
Is it not this same NL where all of them are shouting "broke guys, broke niggas" up and down. Even the ones that don't have up to 10k in their accounts.
Nothing in this world applies to 100%, there will always be exceptions to the rule. But when we say "Naija girls", we are talking about the "majority" not "ALL"

i don't think this Adam guy and the highbow dude are based in Nigeria. Maybe they referring to their experiences overseas. Even high level chics like Roman goddess or daniella will never accept to be a side chic for a man not ready to spend on them. Na madness? And on the issue of some ladies sounding off about broke guys on nl quite paints the situation in the country. Look at our music as well. Is it money and materialism dem dey promote. Na d way our society be. I no argue that there aren't ladies in genuine relationship but then a lady accepting to be a sidechic for some dude then money has to be a motivating factor no matter how we sweet talk the issue.

lefulefu:
sure i know ..i just brought dat up. Anyway Its only in telemondo movies that a single lady would agree to be a sidechic for a man cos of his sweet nature or cos he's romantic.telemondo storylines are always sentimental and ridiculous.

Chief, sweet nature and romantic is one reason. There are several others. And as I said earlier on, it could be a mix of several factors.

The only reason I quoted you is because I suspected you didn't get that the OP was referring to a general term. That's why my first statement to you to was:

If you say for most ladies, I'll agree 100%. If you say for all ladies, then I'd have to respectfully disagree.

Now that you get the point, I don't see the need to press this further.

-Lord

LordAdam:
Swear words? Where did I use swear words? Is "judgmental" a swear word? Is "19th century thought" a swear term?



-Lord

How can you even lie when what you wrote is just right here. Dude I'm done with you cuz its obvious you're a troll and your just looking for who to pick issues with even when I've corrected myself.
Either your a troll or you simply have comprehension issues, or maybe both.
Cuz you keep repeating the same thing over & over like a broken record.
I'll let you have the last word. Goodbye

LordAdam:
Dude, what you believe doesn't f*cking matter! You don't live in the heads of the 80+ million females in Nigeria.


-Lord