Highbrow:

This is just one reason women become side chicks. Other women don't need your money; they have other reasons.

i never said there are no other reasons. All i said is that in Nigeria the major reason is money. If it wasn't money then men who aren't well off wouldn't be spending through their nose to maintain a sidechic.

CeeKay17:

Agreed. What he's trying to say is, the other 4 reasons won't work on their own if there's no financial security involved. No Naija girl will just agree to become your backup just because of the "thrill" alone or because of "freedom" or simply because she's "lonely"
These are just the icing on the cake, but the "Money" is the cake bro.
Like seriously, girls usually have at least 3-4 out of their numerous toasters that they genuinely like, so loneliness is not even part of it at all bro.

What you fail to realize is he doesn't even accept. You are only trying to make it seem like he agrees too. No. He doesn't. He says the only reason is financial security.

CeeKay17:

Yes ladies do a lot of sieving. Yes it's perfectly normal for a girl to fancy a guy who's already taken. But for her to go as far as dating him, knowing fully well that she's the backup plan? [s]Only a lady with zero self-worth would do that except the guy is a rich dude[/s].
Mind you, being "rich" is relative. A man might be considered as rich to a girls and still be a like a pauper to another girl

How do you feel sitting up there in your elated moral stool, Judge CeeKay17?

Ladies routinely double date and can as well date someone who is already in a relationship without having "zero self-worth." Guys do it. Why can't ladies?

I find it curious that when ladies decide to do things that are not the norm, we find it necessary to slut-shame or insult them; but when you flip the tables, we make excuses for men. I bet you don't think side niggas have zero self-worth! I bet you think they've got their A game on.

-Lord

lefulefu:
Financial security is the only thing that motivate ladies to be sidechics so other reasons u listed are not really relivant. A nigerian lady even if she's very wugly still get chyked by ten guys on average in a day so u certainly can't give loneliness as a reason...and personality? .. Oga op ask any babe wey dey do street things and she will ask u weda na personality she wan chop. Even broke men who are involved in keeping sidechics spend a lot to maintain these sidechics. Some go steal money from the d company dem dey work and others go borrow money from money lenders or bank to maintain their sidechics. So the motive of sidechicking in Nigeria among ladies is money.nothing more nothing less. And also take note that many smart sidechics nowadays have their own serious boyfriends. So op all the other options maybe it applies in other countries but in naija it doesn't apply o.

Did you not say, here, that the only reason is financial?

Reason very simple ...because it's written....
Isaiah 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.

lefulefu:
then it could be obvious the deadbeat husband is spending on the sidechic. Make he no drop na and lets see if the sidechic will remain. Auchi poly where i from there this hostel porter who is in his 60.na so d man dey drink and e no dey gree give im wife money for upkeep. Even his children e no gree take care of them. Can u imagine this man that is so tight fisted and lives in a rented single room..this man bought land for one young single mom. It was revealed that the single mom was his sidechic. How d man take get d money u might ask. He had to borrow the money he used in purchasing land for his single mom sidechic from money lenders.the tin cause serious yawa b/w him and im wife but d man no care.but then he's a govt worker and at least he can borrow. Guys who are not that much well off still go that extra mile to satisfy dat sidechic financially.

And that one instance is reason to accede that ALL side chicks stay with deadbeat husbands ONLY for financial security?

-Lord

Highbrow:

Did you not say, here, that the only reason is financial?

yes in Nigeria its the one thing that would make a lady willingly be a side chic for a man who is married or in a serious relationship.Agreed there are ladies who might think they are in the main bae but in reality they are sidechics. But i do believe u were not referring to such. Sidechicing is a booming business in Nigeria after the sugar daddy business and runz business.

LordAdam:


And that one instance is reason to accede that ALL side chicks stay with deadbeat husbands ONLY for financial security?

-Lord

Don't they know that one must be careful when using extreme words such as ALL, EVERY etc

lefulefu:
yes in Nigeria its the one thing that would make a lady willingly be a side chic for a man who is married or in a serious relationship.Agreed there are ladies who might think they are in the main bae but in reality they are sidechics. But i do believe u were not referring to such. Sidechicing is a booming business in Nigeria after the sugar daddy business and runz business.

Your claim of "the only reason" has turned into "the one thing"! The way you argue is baffling!

CeeKay17:

That isn't really we call a side-chick. That's just's a lady cheating on her bf with another guy, who also has his own girlfriend. That's more like "friends with benefits"

Then it's clear you have a very limited understanding of what the term "side chick" covers. Which explains your misguided postulations.

-Lord

LordAdam:


How do you feel sitting up there in your elated moral stool, Judge CeeKay17?

Ladies routinely double date and can as well date someone who is already in a relationship without having "zero self-worth." Guys do it. Why can't ladies?

I find it curious that when ladies decide to do things that are not the norm, we find it necessary to slut-shame or insult them; but when you flip the tables, we make excuses for men. I bet you don't think side niggas have zero self-worth! I bet you think they've got their A game on.

-Lord

Nobody is judging or slut-shaming here. No need getting emotional. Zero-self worth simply means someone who doesn't know what they are worth. It doesn't mean the person is worthless.
That's why I said it's always for the money, otherwise no lady who knows her worth will agree to become your backup babe. This ain't the movies bro.
Do guys do it if there are no benefits involved? Will you agree to become a side nigga to a girl who has a BF, if you're not smashing her as well? I guess not.
So why do you think any lady who knows her worth would do so if there's no benefit attached?
You guys are sounding like girls enjoy being a side babe. Believe me, nobody does. It's just a means to an end. For guys it mostly to cure Konji, for girls, it's mostly for financial benefits

Highbrow:

Don't they know that one must be careful when using extreme words such as ALL, EVERY etc

No, they're experts in these matters who have done extensive peer-reviewed research using a sufficient sample size that'd stand up to any level of scrutiny.

All women have a single motivation when they chose to have a go with a guy in a relationship--FINANCIAL SECURITY.

-Lord

LordAdam:


Then it's clear you have a very limited understanding of what the term "side chick" covers. Which explains your misguided postulations.

-Lord

Just imagine his parochial understanding of what a side chick means!

LordAdam:


And that one instance is reason to accede that ALL side chicks stay with deadbeat husbands ONLY for financial security?

-Lord

u don't get my point. U said a deadbeat husband could get a sidechic and i am telling u dat even if a deadbeat husband has a side chic then he must spend to maintain her. He can't run from dat fact. There are some jobless men who get monthly stipends from their wives and such men use the money given to them by their wives to fund their sidechic or sidechics in school or use d money to generally take care of her.

Highbrow:

Your claim of "the only reason" has turned into "the one thing"! The way you argue is baffling!

at the time u had a sidechic did u not spend on her? I am very sure her financial wants was too much for you hence u had to delete her fast.

LordAdam:


No, they're experts in these matters who have done extensive peer-reviewed research using a sufficient sample size that'd stand up to any level of scrutiny.

All women have a single motivation when they chose to have a go with a guy in a relationship--FINANCIAL SECURITY.

-Lord

Just imagine their reasoning as you have replicated in sarcasm above. Yet, if you argue intelligently, they resort to their claim that Nigerian women are not varied so there must be only one reason. They will also tie this to the bad state of the economy. This is just an abasement of the varied nature of our Nigerian women.

lefulefu:
at the time u had a sidechic did u not spend on her? I am very sure her financial wants was too much for you hence u had to delete her fast.

Not too much. At all. You can't be sure of my reason. Once again, financial reason is not the only reason to end the side chick escapade.

LordAdam:


Then it's clear you have a very limited understanding of what the term "side chick" covers. Which explains your misguided postulations.

-Lord

I know what a side-chick means.That's why I used the word "really". Yes a girl dating another woman's guy is a side chick even if she has her own bf or husband. But in the context of this thread, we are mainly talking about single girls that agree to date married men or guys in a serious r/ship

CeeKay17:

I know what a side-chick means.That's why I used the word "really". Yes a girl dating another woman's guy is a side chick even if she has her own bf or husband. But in the context of this thread, we are mainly talking about single girls that agree to date married men or guys in a serious r/ship

This thread is about side chicks in general.

Highbrow:

Not too much. At all. You can't be sure of my reason. Once again, financial reason is not the only reason to end the side chick escapade.

we are not talking about generally what the side chic ish is all about. We are talking about Nigeria. The biting economic situation in the country...the situation about many nigerians living on less than a dollar a day. And u saying a lady in Nigeria would accept to be a sidechic cos of the man's shining personality and because she's lonely. I laugh.

lefulefu:
we are not talking about generally what the side chic ish is all about. We are talking about Nigeria. The biting economic situation in the country...the situation about many nigerians living on less than a dollar a day. And u saying a lady in Nigeria would accept to be a sidechic cos of the man's shining personality and because she's lonely. I laugh.

Some Nigerian ladies have other reasons besides financial stability to be side chicks.

Highbrow:

Some ladies have other reasons besides financial stability to be side chicks.

so a single lady in Nigeria would waste a better part of her years with a married man and you think the reason could be loneliness or his shining personality.na waoh. Why do u think geneive dated atiku? U think it was love? Even if she had great sex with atiku that one na jara. But we all know the main reason....

Highbrow:

This thread is about side chicks in general.

Reading your story in your 1st paragraph, I assume the girl in your story was single so I thought you are strictly referring to single girls who agree to become backup chicks to a guy.
Of course if a girl has her own relationship, she can still agree to become side chick to another guy for a variety of reasons not always about the money. Like I said earlier, there are so many reasons why women cheat
I guess I understand you better now.

lefulefu:
so a single lady in Nigeria would waste a better part of her years with a married man and you think the reason could be loneliness or his shining personality.na waoh. Why do u think geneive dated atiku? U think it was love?

He said he wasn't strictly referring to single ladies. That's what I initially thought he was referring to maybe because of his story. I guess that's where the confusion came from. Cuz obviously it makes no sense for a single lady to date a guy that's already taken if it's not about the money

CeeKay17:

Nobody is judging or slut-shaming here. No need getting emotional. Zero-self worth simply means someone who doesn't know what they are worth. It doesn't mean the person is worthless.
That's why I said it's always for the money, otherwise no lady who knows her worth will agree to become your backup babe. This ain't the movies bro.
Do guys do it if there are no benefits involved? Will you agree to become a side nigga to a girl who has a BF, if you're not smashing her as well? I guess not.
So why do you think any lady who knows her worth would do so if there's no benefit attached?
You guys are sounding like girls enjoy being a side babe. Believe me, nobody does. It's just a means to an end. For guys it mostly to cure Konji, for girls, it's mostly for financial benefits

There's nothing emotional about what I said. If you think a lady agreeing to be a side chick is an incontrovertible indicator of their self worth, then you are unreasonably judgmental. There's no two ways about it.

Dude, you didn't say low self-worth. You said zero self-worth. You basically said anyone who agrees to be a side chick for any reason other than financial security has zero self-worth. In what alternate universe is that not judgmental?

And what makes you think money is the only benefit a woman gets from a man? Do you think all women are primarily moved by the same thing? If sex is enough for a guy to be a side nigga, what makes you think it wouldn't be enough for some lady to be a side chic? What makes you think it is ONLY financial security?

I'm genuinely curious about how you see women. How is it that you believe that the only BENEFIT a woman who agrees to be a side chick can extract from a guy is MONEY? What you think you're offering, and what she thinks she is getting are not always the same. But somehow you think you have this all figured out.

I guarantee you, if all your past flings were asked to list the things about you that they found attractive, they'd have different lists. If you asked them to rank them by degree of importance, it'd be even more different.

-Lord

CeeKay17:

He said he wasn't strictly referring to single ladies. That's what I initially thought he was referring to maybe because of his story

well he didn't put married ladies or ladies with serious boyfriends accepting to be sidchics. For those ones there could be a number of reason. But for a young lady who is single accepting to be a sidechic for one married man who is probably advanced in years we all know d reason. The sidechic issue has no definite definition anyway.but when we hear the word, 'sidechic' the first image dat comes to our mind is a married man probably dating a single young lady.

Highbrow:

Just imagine their reasoning as you have replicated in sarcasm above. Yet, if you argue intelligently, they resort to their claim that Nigerian women are not varied so there must be only one reason. They will also tie this to the bad state of the economy. This is just an abasement of the varied nature of our Nigerian women.

Your last statement says it all.

How anyone can reduce all women from individuals having different desires to a singularity with one idealistic frame of mind is beyond me.

And later they complain that our women only care about money. When you firmly believe anyone who is a side chick for anything but money has "zero self-worth"? Why should she risk the stigma to be with you for any other reason but money? If she had other reasons, she'd dismiss or hastily bury them.

-Lord

LordAdam:


There's nothing emotional about what I said. If you think a lady agreeing to be a side chick is an incontrovertible indicator of their self worth, then you are unreasonably judgmental. There's no two ways about it.

Dude, you didn't say low self-worth. You said zero self-worth. You basically said anyone who agrees to be a side chick for any reason other than financial security has zero self-worth. In what alternate universe is that not judgmental?

And what makes you think money is the only benefit a woman gets from a man? Do you think all women are primarily moved by the same thing? If sex is enough for a guy to be a side nigga, what makes you think it wouldn't be enough for some lady to be a side chic? What makes you think it is ONLY financial security?

I'm genuinely curious about how you see women. How is it that you believe that the only BENEFIT a woman who agrees to be a side chick can extract from a guy is MONEY? What you think you're offering, and what she thinks she is getting are not always the same. But somehow you think you have this all figured out.

I guarantee you, if all your past flings were asked to list the things about you that they found attractive, they'd have different lists. If you asked them to rank them by degree of importance, it'd be even more different.

-Lord

I never said it's only money. You are mistaking me for the other guy. I said most of the time it's for the money but there are always exceptions.
And yes I don't believe in people settling for less. I'm the kind of person that doesn't stick around if I feel you're not invested in me the way I am. Maybe I misunderstood the context of side chick here, But If a girl is playing wife/gf duties for a guy who only treats her like a side-chick, yes she has zero self-worth. That's what I meant. If you choose to call it judgmental fine.
I actually realize some girls who are side chicks, know where they stand in the r/ship, so they don't go playing wifely duties to a guy who doesn't take them seriously.
So I take back my earlier statement seeing that the word 'side-chick' is a very broad term and can easily be misinterpreted.

lefulefu:
well he didn't put married ladies or ladies with serious boyfriends accepting to be sidchics. For those ones there could be a number of reason. But for a young lady who is single accepting to be a sidechic for one married man who is probably advanced in years we all know d reason. The sidechic issue has no definite definition anyway.but when we hear the word, 'sidechic' the first image dat comes to our mind is a married man probably dating a single young lady.

Why does he have to spell out all the categories of ladies who become side chicks?

He said "5 reasons why 'women' agree to be side chicks." He used a general term 'women.' And it's not like he made any reference to the relationship status of the lady he was wooing. Assumption is the mother of all screw ups!

-Lord

lefulefu:
well he didn't put married ladies or ladies with serious boyfriends accepting to be sidchics. For those ones there could be a number of reason. But for a young lady who is single accepting to be a sidechic for one married man who is probably advanced in years we all know d reason. The sidechic issue has no definite definition anyway.but when we hear the word, 'sidechic' the first image dat comes to our mind is a married man probably dating a single young lady.

Exactly, and that was the kind of example he gave in his write-up. Of course we know not all women are the same. Women date guys for different reasons,women cheat on their partners for different reasons. That's not the context we were talking about

CeeKay17:

Exactly, and that was the kind of example he gave in his write-up. Of course we know not all women are the same. Women date guys for different reasons,women cheat on their partners for different reasons. That's not the context we were talking about

why are you cheating on your partner?

LordAdam:


Why does he have to spell out all the categories of ladies who become side chicks?

He said "5 reasons why 'women' agree to be side chicks." He used a general term 'women.' And it's not like he made any reference to the relationship status of the lady he was wooing. Assumption is the mother of all screw ups!

-Lord

and i said that in Nigeria the major factor for a single lady to accept whole heartedly to be a sidechic to married man or a man in a serious relationship is money and he started attacking me. The way u and highbow argue on this issue its like u guys watch a lot of telenovella movies.Seems like its where u guys get your experience on it.