₦airaland Forum

openmine:
Views and opinions are debated to evaluate its credibility and authenticity...
Just because you feel you may not get a job after an interview test doesn't mean you shouldn't give your ALL by studying, committing and ensuring that you pass it....
Everything is a risk!
You don't commit half way to a project or responsibility.... you give your all so that,even if it didn't turn out well,you will know you did your best!

The lady is giving her all in the relationship not because she depends on the guy or marriage for her happiness but because she believes in true love and true love will give her true happiness!
That's what I meant.....

austyn0:
Dear how do you explain "Threading with caution?" An example please

openmine:
My point is simple you want to withhold some of you love with a condition that your partner can only enjoy it only when he slips a ring on your finger....

Now my anology is simple....did God give a criteria for sending his son to die for us?

ImaIma1:
Let's meet in the classroom so that i can use a blackboard to elaborate more.

ImaIma1:
The fact that i need a job doesn't mean i will cheat in the interview just to make sure i get it by all means.

ImaIma1:
Everything is a risk but we as humans that have the brains to reason and make decisions that invlove our lives and future should know where to put discretion, where to pull back and where to draw a line

ImaIma1:
You cannot dive in head first and tell me it is because you are in love. Ask people with experience, they will tell you.

ImaIma1:
But the thing is, you might never see it or accept it till you experience it.

openmine:
I will tell my sister to love genuinely without holding anything back in a relationship because relationship is very important to the success of any marriage and if they both love each,then they can get married.....
I cant advise my sister to start managing her love for her partner simply because she is not sure if he will leave her or dump her?....that doesn't make sense unless she doesnt love him...
And besides,no matter my advise,its still going to be her decision not mine!



Marriage is as important as a relationship!
You cant in one breath condemn one while upholding the other!
Marriage is important but you expect marriage to do every thing that you didnt do before marriage which a relationship offers!
We expect way too much from marriage!
You expect marriage to make you and you partner become comitted...thats a big lie!
You expect marriage to solve all your financial,mental and spritual problems....thats another terrible misconception!

We ignorantly see marriage as an equipment that converts a person's personality....that's also a pathetic conclusion!

If marriage could do all these,why is there infidelity.?
....why are couples still unhappy.?
why do we have an astonishing increase in divorce cases?
why hasn't marriage changed a known cassanova or a lady who is a serial cheat?




You really don't get my drift do you?
if a man loves a woman and vis a versa,they will do things the right way by getting married but they still have to go through a relationship which is equally important to understand and communicate with each other...which is the norm!
But marriage in its context didn't make them fall in love or made them do things for each other....marriage didn't give them maturity or responsibility.... all these were done and planned before they married not afterwards!



That's also your opinion which you are entitled to....
But if your opinion has brought more harm than good to a married couple,I think it should be time to review your values!
Besides,relationship is a principle that has existed long before both of us we even born hence,you cant just erroneously say that relationship came as a result of a "new age".....



Whats really the requirements to be a wife that you cant do naturally for some one?
Do you need a Wifey title on your name to love and do something worthwhile?

But you will advise a guy to act like a hubby by assisting the lady since he genuinely loves her right?...okay!
My advise is that if you don't love the guy or he doesn't love you,then get some one else whom you love and who is ready to make you a life partner....
Relationship is another phase of commitment, if you get it wrong in a relationship, you will definitely get it wrong in marriage

openmine:
Please can you point to where I said cheating?
Thats a wrong response....i didnt say cheating,i said giving you all which entails commitment and determination which is a prerequiste for passing an interview test...i never wrote cheating! pls go back and preuse that part!



True but without commitment,how would you apply discretion!



Before you go into a relationship with some one,you must have known who you are getting involved with...
and besides,isnt this the same thing you would do when you go into marriage?

What if after all the brain work and discretion tactics,you still ended up in marriage with a liar and cheat,of what purpose was your discretion?

My dear no matter how experienced you are in relationship,with out commitment and dedication which a relationship provides,that marriage is bound to fail!



I guess you are the only one that has experienced a heart break in life....go and hear other people's experience and you will find out that yours is little compared to what they went through!
Yet they still gave their best and were committed and today are happily married!
U can't give what you don't have!
...and you can't give LESS(in a relationship) hoping to get MORE(in marriage)!
It just doesn't work that way!

austyn0:
Pretty hilarious.

ImaIma1:
You want to use God sending His son to justify your points?

ImaIma1:
Like since God sent His son to die for us without any criteria, we should be allowed full access to each other's bodies even if we are not married?

ImaIma1:
Or since God sent His son to die for us, a woman can leave her parents' house and go and live with her boyfriend because she loves him as God loved us enough to send His son...
Come on!!! Use another argument please and stop trying to blasphem.

openmine:
It seems you are having a hard time comprehending my analogy....
Now let me explain....
God gave his son willingly and without a caveat which was classified in the bible as the greatest show of love by God for mankind....
The bible went further to say let this love that was in God also be in you!
Now if you study 2 Corinthians 13,you will understand that you cannot love without being committed or dedicated!
Hence,you can't say you will love some one less then give him the remaining love once you get married....
Was that what God told the world when he gave his son Jesus?
Hope U get my drift unless you just want to stubbornly claim you don't comprend!




This is the issue that is so paramount to you which is a wrong and misconstrued concept about what a relationship represents....
Must every thing in relationship be about sex....is that your ideology about a relationship?
What about motivation? communication? offering gifts? Assisting each other? Or inspiring each other?

Engaging in sex or not is a decision between partners,there is no rule book that makes sex a priority in a relationship!
That's why you communicate with your partner and see if he agrees with your decision on sex before marriage!

Being in a relationship does not imply that you must have access to each others body....that's a decision both of you will have to make...don't blame relationship for that!



Hahahahaha.....
Please can you define a relationship?
This simply shows that you dont read before responding...you just rush to respond.....
Where is it written that you must stay in your bf house as a show of love or a prerequisite for a relationship?

People do that based on decision not based on a rule book!

If you feel staying with him will make you feel happy,then by all means do so....thats your decision...stand by it....dont blame relationship for that!

ImaIma1:
Dating someone and assuming the role of the wife is it not cheating?

ImaIma1:
So you think when you go into a relationship you already know all about the person and what you are getting into. Didn't you say it is a risk?

ImaIma1:
Heartbreak is relative to different people. I never left a relationship with the mind of hating men.

ImaIma1:
And my hubby didn't insist i have to spend nights at his house, wash his clothes, cook, clean to prove that i loved him. It doesn't mean i do not do all that now.

ImaIma1:
But many people want their paradise now before they reach heaven by all means.

ImaIma1:
Let's meet and have Bible study then

openmine:

Okay what is cheating using your anology as a yardstick?



Good now we are getting some where...so I ask will marriage enable you know the person better?
What do you engage in without an element of risk involved?
infact the real risk is marrying some one you know little about..
What if you found out during ur marriage that he was and still is a cheat,what do you do about?
What has your discretion previously been able to achieve?



Okay


U still far away from my point.....
i didnt force my gf to do all those stuffs to prove her love for me....
Thats her decision simply because to her,it gives her pure happiness doing such for the one she loves!
But it would look senseless if she says she wont do nothing simply because she doesnt know if i will marry her or dump her!
That for me is preposterous!
Its like undertaking a project only to stop half way saying you dont know whether the project will work or not!
How would you know if it will work without being committed?



Marriage is not heaven my dear....
marriage just like a relationship has its own challenges and difficulties.... hence if you are able to do most of the work in a relationship, be sure that what you will face in marriage is going to be a bit easier....

openmine:
No problem name the venue

ImaIma1:
Your long epistle and various "quotings" still ball down to the same thing.

ImaIma1:
At the bolded, how many people do the right thing? You are looking at an ideal situation and not a real life situation.

ImaIma1:
A relationship is that and a marriage is that. Both roles should not be intertwined. You pass through a relationship to get to a marriage...you said that. It doesn't mean you have to make the relationship a marriage.

ImaIma1:
Is it only guys that help financially? Ladies do too. Even friends help each other. So that does not count.

ImaIma1:
No i cannot be a wife for all the guys i date. That would be the height of foolishness. Same guys on Nairaland will start the talk of "body count" yet they don't see anything wrong with this lady's attitude. But just wait for a lady here to say the same and the word "olosho" finds its way out.

ImaIma1:
There is absolutely nothing you would say for me to accept your points even if you write 3 pagesand quote every letter.

ImaIma1:
Are you married? Did you marry the first girl you "wife relationshiped"? Please don't deceive ladies that it is ok to assume responsibilities of a wife when they are dating. If they do it, let it be their decision and cross

ImaIma1:
Time is 7pm. You name the venue.

ImaIma1:
Sweetie i still stand on my word that no woman should become a wife in a relationship.

openmine:
honey you are entitled to your opinions but that's what they are: opinions not facts!

openmine:
Nah that's not how it works....
A student should choose both time and venue that is convenient to her esp if she wants to learn

ImaIma1:
Just like yours

ImaIma1:
Yeah Austyn

You know what i meant. But you were just trying to undermine me.

ImaIma1:
Since there is no teacher or student but just 2 people coming together for a bible study, one has picked the time, the other should pick the venue

openmine:
Hilarious!
U want to learn right?
U have provided a time!
Now complete ur interest by naming a convenient venue that will be suitable for both of us!
Online venue is also included! Just to help make it easier for U!

openmine:
Let those reading our posts be the judge!

ImaIma1:
I don't want to learn...i want to correct your interpretations of the Bible that you seem to model to suit your argument

LivingFree:
She should've kept this to herself! Watch a bitchè come and proof her wrong

Next week this nigga will complain about the salt levels

ImaIma1:
When you have a daughter that sees you as her hero and you see as your princess and angel forever...when she is of a dating age and you can tell her to give her all in all(holding nothing back)to every guy she dates, then only then will we say you have won this argument.

ImaIma1:
I don't want to learn... i want to correct your interpretations of the Bible that you seem to model to suit your argument

austyn0:
You misunderstood my intention...

I'm replying still because you are one of the ladies I find worthy of my mentions...

This is a thread for discussion,, I wanted to discuss and was anxious to see your examples of threading cautiously,, to see if it would relate to one of the reasons I broke up with my ex lover.

openmine:

That's not what you said ab initio....
if you are going to a discus with a misconstrued belief that you are crème de la crème,hence you have nothing to learn,then the purpose of communication is already defeated...

Have you considered the fact that you may be wrong with your own assertions or are you one of those who believe they are always right....?
And what if I say your interpretations are flawed?

openmine:
Well that will be my daughter's decision not yours!
And i know she do what makes her happy at the end!
You can tell your daughter not to give her all in every thing in life.....or better still do less and try to gain more!
More like eating your cake and having it!
Let life be the judge but remember you don't get anything worthwhile without working for it....
There must be a price to pay if you want to achieve something great or meaningful!