₦airaland Forum

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

God!! Please save me from posters such as this one!!!

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

This is silly comment. Can you keep public restroom open while you are using it?. Charity begins at home. Sounds like you and her got the same attitude

Many people have spoken well. I think I go with majority opinion here. Pls quit the relationship. Marriage is an institution you can't never opted out the moment you enter it.
Never too late to call it off.

generationz:
what was her reason for the breakup then

Her former crush came back (A once med colleague now Doc too n more endowed financially than me but no swagz ).....so she became confused.....

She started demanding from me what the dude promised her .... I can but won't simply because that ain't my priority for then based on available resources ..... She wants us to settle to avoid the temptation but we can't cuz we were yet to graduate from boy/girl into Man/Woman ....... we were evolving ....

I can't be chasing another man's dream, I gatz chase my own .... So, Demand n Supply no gree and market end .... Both of us are faultless !!

walesalak:
ijebu shey?

And, what's wrong with ijebu girls?

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Read what you typed and ask yourself if you made any sense, SMH.

Olifiz:
Pls forget the toilet part. Do you apologize wen wrong or u put up a nasty face n keep malice?

Are you open to corrections or u feel to big to be corrected?

Don’t get it wrong these are the major complains OP is tryin to make. I’m sure u won’t like a guy who won’t apologize to u wen he’s wrong or a guy who keep malice with u wen u correct him.

The point I'm making is that op sounds overbearing. If someone is constantly correcting you and trying to control your actions it's very hard to treat them with love because to constantly correct someone suggests that the person being corrected is incomplete and wrong. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel less than.
I believe the problems he has with her is probably the problems she has with him. If he came here to be told she is not worth it so he should dump her then he got what he wanted.
I gave a devil's advocate point of view, instead of being a robot and repeating what he wants to hear. If he can't take any ownership for his part of the problem and he wants to put all the issues they're having at her door, then that's childish, he will have the same problems in his next relationship.

DonroxyII:
Her former crush came back (A once med colleague now Doc too n more endowed financially than me but no swagz ).....so she became confused.....

She started demanding from me what the dude promised her .... I can but won't simply because that ain't my priority for then based on available resources ..... She wants us to settle to avoid the temptation but we can't cuz we were yet to graduate from boy/girl into Man/Woman ....... we were evolving ....

I can't be chasing another man's dream, I gatz chase my own .... So, Demand n Supply no gree and market end .... Both of us are faultless !!

Lol

Hisduchess:
had a similar experience too.he offended me I was kinda angry that I had to tell him that am pissed cos of how 'childish' that behaviour was.he picked on that word 'childish' and refused talking to me anymore.in fact it got to an extent that he cleverly turned the table against me, he became uncommunicative. I started the pleading journey. had to call his close friend to help me convince him to take my calls cos he travelled then yet all to no avail.I just woke up one day and stopped calling him.after a month I called him to wish him a happy birthday and that was it till today. after some months he started asking friends why I suddenly bone his way and didn't do more as par continue the begging but by that time I was fed up with all his shii and ain't in no mood for anymore nonsense.so I just let him be.
I left cos he always wanted to be the victim in any misunderstanding and I will end up being the wrong person. it is very dangerous when people can't admit their wrongs and say 'sorry'.he always has this mentality that am an intelligent woman and therefore i should know everything and shouldn't ever be caught making any mistake. so @op be ready to always be apologising or u take a walk

exactly, u did the right thing.

romenna:
ur reply is interesting. I noticed u used the word "dieing" instead of "dying"

thanks for the correction.

delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.

Ur comment is full of flaws. If u read the ops comment he never said anything about nagging or disrespectful so this Ur speculation leaves me to believe that u have no idea what u are advising about.

pocohantas:
So, are you (still) single now?

yes am very much single now and I would prefer to be forever single if all girls were like her, I really passed through hell the period I was with her.

biafraisdead:
Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.

U were too harsh, there are ways to handle such women with minimum risk and still get required results. What's important is that she wants u and is prepared to change. No matter how proud she feels she is, she can be mastered, be humbled, be tamed. Question is do u want to do it.

drnoel:
U were too harsh, there are ways to handle such women with minimum risk and still get required results. What's important is that she wants u and is prepared to change. No matter how proud she feels she is, she can be mastered, be humbled, be tamed. Question is do u want to do it.

no I was not, u need to see what I passed through.

Jejely walk away from the relationship and let her continue to date herself...

MissJoy29:
Lol....my wealth of experience runs deep honey.

After insulting me the other day, you are the last person I wanna see on my mention.

Aunty stop keeping malice. Jesus is coming soon!

profeazy:
Aunty stop keeping malice. Jesus is coming soon!

Thank you sir.

drnoel:
Ur comment is full of flaws. If u read the ops comment he never said anything about nagging or disrespectful so this Ur speculation leaves me to believe that u have no idea what u are advising about.

I suspect you are a woman.... And a nagging disrespectful one at that!

MissJoy29:
Thank you sir.

From the way you are respectful, you will make heaven.... And a good wife!

DonroxyII:
lol, Maturity is key to successful Home ! A man gat to Man up and be in Charge of whatever situation and possessed higher level of good human management !
Be firm when the need be , be sober when d need be , Smiles when d need be ....

I grew up around lot of women (mamma,grandmas,aunties,sisters, cousins..... Maternal and Paternal oo) and From them I learnt a lot ....... Most girls out there today are Drama queens so, I gat a lot of Drama in house sef ....... Also, I am a movie guy (Hollywood mostly) so, I had a lot of exposure in that regard , I use to picture myself in some scenarios and determine what I would have done differently or better .... with that, You learn !! .....

Accounting is my endeavour not Psycology. Though I considered myself a Psychic and I use psychology a lot......

As for ex, it ain't that I don't attached importance to her issues but when someone tend to turn something trivial into a big drama.........

I knew I had a lot of work to do on that girl but unfortunately she couldn't wait for it , she got swayed while I was busy with Masters ...... I allowed her to learn as I didn't fight her braking up ......... I was her first and she mine(but me exposed o) ...........

I knew an average dude can't put up with such excesses so I grin alot when her broke up drama began......Only if she understand out there (Husband scarce abeg) ....... But she can never understand unless she goes there.......u know, When you chop belleful , Na time to find something wey no lost Na !
So, I allowed her without braking a sweat nor feelings. She asked me to fight for her not going away , For where .... My brain told me face ya book and fight for career and in a matter of time she broke up the dude again ........... Me just siddon dey watch in 7D !!! .....

Her killing points was that She is very good academically (Always first 3 in class), Career oriented (Foresight career wise is extraordinary) , Highly Religious (me be badoo oo as I still dey enter , one of her broke up point was I am too lustful as she always commit sex sins around me , she no lie as we can't help it.... e must happen noni plan no plan) and mostly, she will be good for the kids as she is very firm with no nonsense mien .....She doesn't take nonsense from anyone.... I think that's good for the kids (When I ain't around , I know a capable hand is around )!!!

Gawd, Epistle much ooo (squeeze face)

Please anyone that read this textbook should summarise what the heck the dude is saying for me.

Hisduchess:
had a similar experience too.he offended me I was kinda angry that I had to tell him that am pissed cos of how 'childish' that behaviour was.he picked on that word 'childish' and refused talking to me anymore.in fact it got to an extent that he cleverly turned the table against me, he became uncommunicative. I started the pleading journey. had to call his close friend to help me convince him to take my calls cos he travelled then yet all to no avail.I just woke up one day and stopped calling him.after a month I called him to wish him a happy birthday and that was it till today. after some months he started asking friends why I suddenly bone his way and didn't do more as par continue the begging but by that time I was fed up with all his shii and ain't in no mood for anymore nonsense.so I just let him be.
I left cos he always wanted to be the victim in any misunderstanding and I will end up being the wrong person. it is very dangerous when people can't admit their wrongs and say 'sorry'.he always has this mentality that am an intelligent woman and therefore i should know everything and shouldn't ever be caught making any mistake. so @op be ready to always be apologising or u take a walk

Why do people beg to continue a relationship? If he no want you, I want you. If I no want you, my friend wants you....etc! Endof!

LivingFree:
The point I'm making is that op sounds overbearing. If someone is constantly correcting you and trying to control your actions it's very hard to treat them with love because to constantly correct someone suggests that the person being corrected is incomplete and wrong. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel less than.
I believe the problems he has with her is probably the problems she has with him. If he came here to be told she is not worth it so he should dump her then he got what he wanted.
I gave a devil's advocate point of view, instead of being a robot and repeating what he wants to hear. If he can't take any ownership for his part of the problem and he wants to put all the issues they're having at her door, then that's childish, he will have the same problems in his next relationship.

Cool dear I get ur point. It will actually be wrong from the OP if he’s always constantly correcting her.

LivingFree:
The point I'm making is that op sounds overbearing. If someone is constantly correcting you and trying to control your actions it's very hard to treat them with love because to constantly correct someone suggests that the person being corrected is incomplete and wrong. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel less than.
I believe the problems he has with her is probably the problems she has with him. If he came here to be told she is not worth it so he should dump her then he got what he wanted.
I gave a devil's advocate point of view, instead of being a robot and repeating what he wants to hear. If he can't take any ownership for his part of the problem and he wants to put all the issues they're having at her door, then that's childish, he will have the same problems in his next relationship.

Cool dear I get ur point. It will actually be wrong from the OP if he’s always constantly correcting her. More like always finding fault.

delugajackson:
[b]

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

Raskasal! You have been maturely advised. A wife that keeps MALICE is no wife at all. The writing is already on the wall. The choice is yours. BE WISE! A mature mind needs no constant correction and no relationship that hopes to go through the hurdles of bonding as a team can ever win with an immature Mind as a partner. HABITS ARE HARD TO CHANGE! Be wise! While it's a TRUISM that nobody is perfect, we must never settle for defects that will forever affect our life on the NEGATIVE all because we choose to compromise in the name of 'LOVE'.

If I were u I will pretend till she come back 2 normal then I get a sachet of trams 250g or so I will Bleep her sotey she goes back 2 factory settings.

Somehow you've managed to convince yourself that your happiness is explicitly dependent on her countenance towards you. So each time she throws one of her fits, she plays the waiting game knowing you'll surely be the first to break frame, always be the one tying to make things right.

It should be you being her if you know watta mean. It's obvious she's got you by the balls in that relationship, so till you turn the tables and learn how to manipulate her emotions to your benefit - you can't be wifing that, at least not yet. I love women like that, they are capable of loving deeply.

DonroxyII:
Her former crush came back (A once med colleague now Doc too n more endowed financially than me but no swagz ).....so she became confused.....

She started demanding from me what the dude promised her .... I can but won't simply because that ain't my priority for then based on available resources ..... She wants us to settle to avoid the temptation but we can't cuz we were yet to graduate from boy/girl into Man/Woman ....... we were evolving ....

I can't be chasing another man's dream, I gatz chase my own .... So, Demand n Supply no gree and market end .... Both of us are faultless !!

goodluck in your search for Mrs right

biafraisdead:
no I was not, u need to see what I passed through.

Can't be worse than what I saw bro but that still didn't make me bitter. Instead I learnt from both our mistakes and fine tuned my flow. Any man can do it that really is ready to take that step

profeazy:
I suspect you are a woman.... And a nagging disrespectful one at that!

U See how wrong u are again. Remember what I told u about speculation? Never ever speculate about what u have no knowledge of but rather attempt to ask and educate urself. It's Ur speculation that placed u in the situation u are now.

profeazy:
From the way you are respectful, you will make heaven.... And a good wife!

Thank you again sir. You are farr too kind.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

Take a break from the relationship and review it if it Worth's it. Left for me leave her and cool down your self, she doesn't know the importance of your relationship and marriage.
Probably she is too proud of her self if she is from a rich family the don't blame her, if she is financially buoyant don't blame her and if you have given her hope that she is the only one on earth don't blame her.
Be serious this time marriage is like a raw egg � be sure of who to handle it with.

Olifiz:
Cool dear I get ur point. It will actually be wrong from the OP if he’s always constantly correcting her. More like always finding fault.

I believe that is what the Op was doing and why she refused to listen anymore. That thing I said about speculation