EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

If you guys can afford the foetal test or IVF+PGD then proceed else part ways amicably.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Op, i beg you in God's name, do not try it.. I repeat do not try it....i knw a woman in my place of work whose children are all SS genotype, she spent almost her salaries on poor children who re always on drugs mostly all the times... Future is adorable than the present... Peace

My friend it is not easy. I am in this kind of situation presently. My third child/son is SS and the financial, physical and mental stress is too unbearable. Thanking God though. He is 3yrs now

EmpresFIDEL:
what are the solutions

I feel your pain dear. I don't know how old you're but I guess you should be above 25. I'll advice you verify if that procedure a guy suggested that costs between 350 to 400k. Check if its true and the things involved. If yes its true, then you both should work on your finances and go ahead with the marriage. Being AS has denied a lot of women suitors that they eventually ended up single. Dating for 5 years is a lot of time. Wish you the best.

I may not understand what you are going through concerning the matter at hand, but what I can say is, its only logical you two end the relationship in a bid to save the future as the trauma that comes with the consequences of your actions can be devastating . Most importantly, time heals every pain. Peace out.

Many are chanting leave him, breakup, leave him as if they've done it before. As the saying goes, "It's easier said than done". However, the financial, emotional and physical requirements of parenting an SS is far more than you can imagine, that aside, just imagine the feeling of seeing your child going through severe pain and you can do absolutely nothing about it.

Lastly, pain is known to destroy even the so called strongest love, when the time comes and everything turns upsidedown, either you or your husband would have to sacrifice your career or job to stay with the baby... The regrets, guilt, pains... could lead to either of you to even file a divorce.

The truth is, I'll never allow my child to marry a carrier if he/she is a carrier.

Sorry to say this, I think if you love him so much, and really don't want to see him going through the hardest of time, you should let him go. I know it's not easy, but I sincerely wish we have another fair option.
I pray you find another that loves you and you also love even more.
Good luck dear.

These people coming here to give testimonials on how God changed their genotypes from SS to something else or talking about how they married AS to AS without birthing an SS child, may God not allow you to be used in destroying another person's life.

My parents are both AS and not because they chose to love blindly but because my Dad had been given a wrong result when they went for premarital testing. In fact they didn't know until about 2 years ago, and I and my sibling are AA and AS respectively. But you will NEVER hear me advocating for two aware individuals to blindly enter such a union.

Just because my case or your case turned out an exception to the rule, or became a miracle as it were doesn't make it a norm. It doesn't give you the validation to open your two eyes and test God. Even Jesus Christ flatly refused to test the power of God. Yes God is All-Powerful and can do whatever necessary to fulfill his will but even the Bible knew that when it says "You must not put Jehovah your God to the test".

Yes you may think you have the money for exploring these options... But do you know the emotional drain that comes with spending that money? The frustration that comes with trying and trying? And what if the money goes? We live in an uncertain world. Even healthy couples and kids have complications. Don't subject yourself to a premeditated complication. There's a certain relief that comes from throwing our burden to God on problems we didn't see coming... When you already saw the problem coming you'd be dealing with the burden of the problem, the guilt that you could have avoided it and then the confusion towards God on top something that is not his fault. DO NOT TEST GOD. Even Jesus refused to do so.

In regular marriages, love fades and couples have to struggle to keep the flame. Imagine if you're adding a sick child to that naturally dwindling?

Tbh I think you should just start crying for the breakup already so you can begin your journey towards healing fast.

EmpresFIDEL:
what are the solutions

I feel your pain dear. I don't know how old you're but I guess you should be above 25. I'll advice you verify if that procedure a guy suggested that costs between 350 to 400k. Check if its true and the things involved. If yes its true, then you both should work on your finances and go ahead with the marriage. Being AS has denied a lot of women suitors that they eventually ended up single. Dating for 5 years is a lot of time. Wish you the best.

Also once you verify it, tell your fiancé so he can convince his parents to accept the union.

I just pity u. You don't know what you are going into.

It is better not to get married than to give birth to SS; I have a family friend that is regretting this action u are about to go into now. He loved her so much but now the love can be found in oblivion. In as much as u may be desperate to be married or love dey shack you, I will advise that u desist to go ahead. To forewarned is to be for harmed. My candid advice

What do you know about love. When you jam wahala you will know that your problem is infatuation. Better let him go, there are better love out there that can last.

charliboy654:
If u have the money go ahead. There are solution to these problems but requires alot of cash.

Not a good advice dear, the consequences out weigh the benefit, they will be hold responsible to bring an innocent child in the name of love to have endless suffering, wetin be love abeg.

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

I can feel your pain young woman but leaving him is the option now, because now you can manage and get healed than when you eventually marry him the pains then will devastate you for ever, that is nature you can't change it.

Love is beautiful but some times it can be a monster, some times forget love to better ur life and i assure you' you will live to thank God in future that you took a right decision.

Ignore that guy who is talking about solution to it, a bitter cola is not sweet as it sounds while eating.

Just 5years?, this exact Situation as cost me a relationship of 11 solid, good and best years, today I'm happily married and thank God with a kid, you'll later hate each other more than the way u love either party later, if u love urself, forget u ever been into dat relationship.

ROSYL:


Bullshit! Please let’s hear about the little biology you did in school which says if you have SS, the next is most likely not going to be SS

Again, how could you forget the financial and psychological trauma that come with having SS kids or aborting them as you suggested?

Well, I have earlier stated so long they both have the will to follow through.

I am not for or against abortion. I have learnt long ago to never say never because only he who wears the shoes knows where it itches.
I equally said so long they are financial capable to pull through my suggestion. Also that on no account should they birth any child with SS. These are all in my previous post.

All I am doing is providing an alternate solution and not just a one way solution. Everything is possible.

I will advise you Guys to breakup peaceful, rather than creating more issues, particularly giving birth to SS, which may eventually lead to total separation as a result of the crisis that may follow.

mfm04622:


Please leave theory. I know many families regretting this same decision you want her to go ahead with

Yes they are suffering it because they didn't follow this theory.

Now I wish I didn’t delete that topic. I didn’t want to be insensitive but perhaps this lady would have read and understood the risks.

You’re adults. If you knowingly marry each other, then you and your man should have your heads examined.

ireneidiva:

Nobody is saying it is impossible. People here are asking 1) Does she have the strength to look for solutions? 2) Does she have the money? 3) Is going after this worth it? 4) What if her husband gets tired and leaves her? 4) Is any procedure 100% sure or is there still a risk of having ss kids? These are not stupid questions.

I dont know how that is your business. She is asking if there is a way, the answer is yes there is a way but there are steps to be taken. Give her whatever information you feel she needs and let her decide for herself. Is there anything you undertake that doesnt have risks?

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

forget difficult. Once u are out, u are out. Mehn! Ur child might dislike u knowing dt it's an avoidable issue but u make them pass thru SS wahala

Sweetheart, Pls don't marry him,
You are at the risk of having SS children Pls,
If you have those children, the love will fade. He will blame you for forcing him into it, believe me These ones cos family aren't in support. They will advise him to marry another wife who can bear him "strong" Children.
Abeg Don't let that child you bring into the World curse you.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

I know someone in a similar situation and he got married to her nonetheless, but after the wedding here is what they did.

He seeked the help of a doctor here and was referred to india to meet with a specialist on IUI Artificial insemination, his sperm taken and all sorts were carried out to make sure that when it is inserted into the uterus it wouldnt produce an SS child.

The procedure cost him about N5m, so if you or your boyfriend can raise such cash, then breakup shouldnt be an option, but if you both cant well i guess you’ll have to leave it to chance and that has a 50/50 chance.

Anyways Fast forward to now, they have an AA genotype boy. Thats what money can get you. Who says money is evil right?

My advice, if you can pay for the procedure then go right ahead and marry him but if you both cant, I think you have to really think deep about having kids with the SS genotype.

princeadams11:
Send me mail for solution to your problem

Lol. I like ur style!

Hey, I have been through that lane 4times. Trust me wen j say I know how it feels. But Dear, u are to be blamed. In this jet age u dated a carrier for 5yrs knowing fully well ur also a carrier or are u part of those that judge genotype by looks and won't bother asking till marriage is calling? I know it's hard to let go but my dear if u have ever witnessed an SS during their crisis u will never pray to have one. Study the SS around you, do u think they are happy? Living on pills all your life and not been able to do what normal kids do. Would you rather live with the guilt of bringing the innocent child(ren) to this world to suffer when you know u should have prevented it? My dear ignorance is not an excuse. I have a friend back then at the University, She is the first born an SS her two immediate siblings are SS too only the last two are AS. So forget about cross breeding, you can't predict what genotype comes first. She didnt even graduate with her mates cos of crisis. As she is leaving the hospital her siblings are going. Do u know what it feels like to have a permanent bed in the hospital? My dear you and ur boyfriend will end up hating yourselves in the future when the crisis begins and none of you have rest or savings. Then you will blame each other . I will advice you to let go and look out for your own man because if he is actually your God ordained husband he would be AA.
To avoid stories that touch next time, before you consider saying yes to a man ask of his genotype first. all the best.

Let go...
the pain you will endure now is better than the unforseen pain that awaits you.,Be wise

Let him go.The pain you will endure now is better than the unforseen pain that awaits you..Be wise

If both of una marry una go give birth to chinko child... Made in China pikin. Try to marry AA so that ur children go dey healthy...
If u no won get permanent bed space for hospital no marry AS if u r also AS. Lol

TrumpDonald2:

I feel your pain dear. I don't know how old you're but I guess you should be above 25. I'll advice you verify if that procedure a guy suggested that costs between 350 to 400k. Check if its true and the things involved. If yes its true, then you both should work on your finances and go ahead with the marriage. Being AS has denied a lot of women suitors that they eventually ended up single. Dating for 5 years is a lot of time. Wish you the best.

Also once you verify it, tell your fiancé so he can convince his parents to accept the union.

wrong advice

Save yourself agony of a lifetime... Let go of him in peace.
If you don't you will watch your life crumble in front of you like a pack of cards when your children start crisis and die one after the other before the age of 25. Don't be blinded by the so called love. I've lost a blood brother, a cousin, best friend, neighbour the list is uncountable due to SS. Don't make the mistakes our parents made in the 80's. This is 2018 please wise up.

Jaqenhghar:


I dont know how that is your business. She is asking if there is a way, the answer is yes there is a way but there are steps to be taken. Give her whatever information you feel she needs and let her decide for herself. Is there anything you undertake that doesnt have risks?

You that knows the solution, tell her. I'm only only telling her the risks.

Let me tell ya.

My very good friend died about a year now. He was HbSS.
If you see suffering and pain, your love love eyes go clear!!!!
Pls don't let another person lose his/her friend to avoidable death.

Break up is painful but you both gonna survive it.
Am a living example

filleSouriante:
Hey, I have been through that lane 4times. Trust me wen j say I know how it feels. But Dear, u are to be blamed. In this jet age u dated a carrier for 5yrs knowing fully well ur also a carrier or are u part of those that judge genotype by looks and won't bother asking till marriage is calling? I know it's hard to let go but my dear if u have ever witnessed an SS during their crisis u will never pray to have one. Study the SS around you, do u think they are happy? Living on pills all your life and not been able to do what normal kids do. Would you rather live with the guilt of bringing the innocent child(ren) to this world to suffer when you know u should have prevented it? My dear ignorance is not an excuse. I have a friend back then at the University, She is the first born an SS her two immediate siblings are SS too only the last two are AS. So forget about cross breeding, you can't predict what genotype comes first. She didnt even graduate with her mates cos of crisis. As she is leaving the hospital her siblings are going. Do u know what it feels like to have a permanent bed in the hospital? My dear you and ur boyfriend will end up hating yourselves in the future when the crisis begins and none of you have rest or savings. Then you will blame each other . I will advice you to let go and look out for your own man because if he is actually your God ordained husband he would be AA.
To avoid stories that touch next time, before you consider saying yes to a man ask of his genotype first. all the best.

Only someone like me can relate to this. My lil bro willcry in excruciating pains and unease until he died in my arms at 22 on 7th July 2008. It is a terrible experience I do not wish for my enemy. Tell the babe make she let the guy go in peace. A word is enough.....

EmpresFIDEL:
what are the solutions

Entire blood transfusion and bone marrow transplant.