₦airaland Forum

TooNoisy:
I can see the devil is at work again

The devil is always trying to break a happy home... or was your home ever happy?

I guess all of these happened to expose your wife; I am shocked to hear that your wife did not tell you that your name was never on the house. That is treacherous. Now you should thank God for exposing the type of person you married.... and may be exposing the type of person you are as well. Joke or no joke, you should not have said she should leave your house.

Okay so let's discuss the way forward. First of all, forget about divorce - the children suffer most from a divorce and you shouldn't let your innocent children pay for your stupidity and that if your wife.

You need to call your wife and explain to her. In my view there are three options:

1. She sells the house and you both can jointly buy a house to be owned by both of you. That way, no one can send the other out.
2. You get another place and she moves in with you while she continues to rent out her own house. It is her house.
3. You move back to the house with a view to building your own house quickly. You allocate the family expenses in such a way that you are able to save quickly to build your house.

Please do not relocate to another state; it makes no sense and you are only punishing your children for their mother's sin.

What is now missing in your marriage is trust... you both will not trust each other for a long time, but time heals all wounds. You both will heal.. give it time but please don't punish your children.

First let them fix the issue of trust. Don't know if the man can still trust his wife. But they both need to take a away from town. Some moments out in a separate room but the same resort to have a clean plan on the way forward.
This is a court of public opinion and no one can fix your marriage here. You both must if you wish, see a shrink and work on anger and trust problem. If you can't get past that, what ever decision you make won't take root.

poster, property belong to your wife atleast legally. she didn't build it for love, she built it that one day you wont be a "member" of the family sad reality it is too soon otherwise a house built as a home should've the couple's signatory to it.

do not mind people supporting evil here. the got blinded with the fact that ur wife has been emotionally harrassing you but picked the "get out of this house here" as though it meant "pack ur things and leave my house'' but will be quick to encourage "you should've leave the house to cool off". i dont know how get out of this house is worst than verbal abuse.

the step you've taken is the best step. STAY OFF THE PROPERTY.

Women who act as your wife are mostly insecure.

Go for marriage counseling both of you or respected party and get advise. Getting online advise will not help you.

Elfmannisback:
But she said she wants him back.

Abi o.

All these slay queens with fish brain are just typing poo here.

Elfmannisback:
But she said she wants him back.

For peace to reign and probably because of the kids.

Oga you are a thief.

You used your own part of the money to build a house for your parent,is her name on that house?

She used hers to secure herself and her children and is even willing to make joint ownership. But you are so wicked you want just your name on it.

You are spineless and a coward.people are building houses for their family,gifting cars to their wife but you are here dragging house your wife used her OWN SHARE of the money to build.


Btw you are the head of the family,abi no be wetin in una talk but all of a sudden it is the woman's responsibility when things go bad. Aren't you just stupid.

saintade01:
Abi o.

All these slay queens with fish brain are just typing poo here.

And what have you typed mumu?

My brother i understand ur pain towards ur wife but that shouldn't be the reason of divorce for the sake of ur children, some women can be stupid and foolish at the same time, Please don't divorce her i felt she has learnt her lessons from this. Please

vululadilolo:
So you are basically trying to defraud her by emotionally blackmailing her into choosing between "her" house and the marriage/children? Wickedness!

they both share profit and decided to invest differently for the greater good of the family so the husband thought.

if they've pool resources together, would private ownership in a "union" arise?

if the table is turned and the husband has the resource to save the life of either her parent abroad but declined with the excuse that he's saving for "his" property, "sir, ma, will the marriage still continue?"

Are you sure your mental health is in tact?
A property you contributed 85% to shouldn't be in your name?

When most men build homes do they include their wives names on the documents?

TonyeBarcanista:
Did she inform him from the onset that she bought the property in her name? She fraudulently concealed it and rubbed it on his face years after.

PS: He said she should keep the apartment, I'm sure he'll get a place for the family...

The battle lines are drawn along familiar lines. Nothing stays same henceforth.

I blame the man for failing to properly manage his home. Two wrongs don't make a right. Things are escalated and you don't even know where this would lead to and you are so happy to proceed?

It breaks my heart to see good things go bad. Come down from your high horse and let go your bruised ego for the benefit of the greater good. This is what a father and true leader should do.

You have my respect for ejecting yourself from the house when your attempt to eject the woman you are under oath to love and protect was met with a superior argument.

The house can be sold and you guys can build another in your children's names.

Our ancestors mandates you to make the peace.

I couldn't even read the write-up, the intro was nauseating enough. Women are the backbone bla bla bla, it's her duty to hold the family bla bla bla. If it's the woman's duty to keep a marriage/family then what exactly is your purpose as the head of the family? To exert your powers as her Lord?

It's only an incredibly stupid woman that will build a house in her husband's name in this day and age where men are not loyal and sees cheating as a birth right. African men and their irritating egos deserve to be put in their place every once a while, some deserves to be outrightly dumped like this op

God bless you for this. Most Nigerian men find it difficult to be truthful when delving into marital issues. But you have spoken with all honesty and I commend you for that.

I'm sorry about the way your mum was being treated by your dad. Pls those house documents keep them very well because I know of a similar issue where the bread winner (the woman) worked her ass off and training all her kids abroad, built duplexes, bought cars and everything else without the husband contributing a Kobo. All the while the man kept lavishing his wife's money on little girls until he eventually got one pregnant. Well his wife died last year and the younger sister of the late woman informed us that several prayer houses had told them her husband was responsible for her death.

Now the shocking thing was that before the woman died, the man kept stole documents to her landed property and even sold off her cars. The first son had to come from the UK to come secure the rest of their property.

As I speak to you the children now hate the man and want nothing to do with him. The only thing they know about him now is hat he finally recolated to Abuja with the young girl he was dating.

Women should be wise. May this never befall anyone we know.

metro10:
Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

It really surprises me that you two can't sit together and resolve your differences, now you have joined your wife to wash your dirty clothes in the public.

Why are you the man, first asking for your name alone to be on the paper of house is very wicked of you, I would expect you to ask for your name to be included in the papers.

Go back to your wife sit her down and sort issues out with her, and stop dragging your family issues before your parents your wife inclusive.

I don't see her like someone that will not reason with you. Since you have a plan for a new place do that and move your family their. Please go to your wife and and sort things out your children needs you and also your wife.

And forget that response of your wife cheating as long as she has not given you any reason to doubt her, try and reassure her that it just her and her alone, don't allow this children in this forum sow a seed in you that will destroy your family.

The house is not worth the future of your children

TonyeBarcanista:
Sister, NOTHING will ever justify the irresponsible act of the wife. SIMPLE!

Meanwhile, he never meant to chase her out, it's like someone saying "get out, I don't want to see you again"...

Bros. You are right they both acted irresponsibly.

But can you tell your wife to get out of the house for you out of anger and expect her to feel cool and safe? - No disrespect-

If she told him to leave the house what would have been his response.?

Reading through both threads, i pity both husband and wife.

The namecalling and abuse they have suffered here is more than what they couldnt initially stomach in their closet to the point of some readers calling the man a thief or the woman a cheat. Hmmmmmm

I just blame the woman for bringing the matter to a forum like this for public dissection.

I wish you both the best and pray you find a lasting solution between yourself and not here.

Respect55:
Why are u so bitter?
Hope u dnt take this tongue wrangling to ur husband's house else u will end up in ur parent's house sooner.

If she built the house like the op's wife nko? Will you send her out of her own house like the wicked, selfish op? This "parent's house" threat you men love to churn out is getting old and lame.

Two of you are not serious.

Of all things on Earth to fight about it is this trivial matter

lilioj:
Awww, I feel sad reading this. Pls all marriages go through rough patches, guess this is yours for the sake of love you guys have or once had why don't you try to settle things amicably than tearing up your home. Madam if you get to read this pls apologise to your husband, change doc names to both and continue to live in peace.

She said she has been begging. The man's pride and ego won't let him.

Eketem:
Exactly just imagine how men would feel if after an arguement women tell them to get out of their house. Joke indeed, the God complex to add to it all smh.

While the wife was wrong to have insulted him and his parents he is not a saint in it all. I still don't understand how apart from the insult part this is different from what she posted, she should put the house in his name alone smh. I blame Nigerian women for their desperation sha

You have such wild fantasies that are incongrous with a stable and happy home. If you have not used this ideologies and built a home that has successfully transforned your children into responsible adults, then you might be living in a fools paradise.

Nonsense this one is just carrying shoulder for nothing, your wife is a smart woman. Go and build your own house with your name alone. Some men have it so good though, a lady builds you a house and you want it all to yourself.

keepingmum:
The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.

God bless you!!! Exactly my thought

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

.
Oga read the ops statement very well. It's not her house it was an agreement by both.ops use part of it for his ailing dad.

GrammarCheck:
God bless you!!! Exactly my thought

Have you not been pushed to the wall and you respond with nasty words. I beg go sleep

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

The husband self weak me. Even me as a man won't even allow my wife to use only my name on her property. Mr and Mrs will do or probably her name shekina provided it's not the house I currently live in. That's her money and I don't do sh1t with it because I gotta have mine and hers will be change to where mine is.

I MUST fault the wife for making it only her name in the first place, common sense would have made her use Mr and Mrs because She's under someone who owns her and everything She got. All I can decode is that maybe She forgot that and it's left for someone to remind her of the tradition.

I don't know why what shouldn't be an issue in marriages is now an issue. This is just a minor issue both should solve within 15 minutes, now they allowed it to stay longer.

Mehn, trying to sending your wife out because of this issue is laughable.

E be like say their love don hang boot.

foyeks2001:
Mr Man, u r a selfish being ...u asked someone that has the lion share of the said landed property to pack out of her own house. God is watching you.

Given all that you have heard from both sides, you would rather blame the husband.

Why did she add his money if she knew she wanted the house to be fully her own?

Why did she hide the title of the property from her husband till they had a quarrel?

Why infuriate her husband to that extent with abuses and disrespect?

Every of her actions show that from the day the husband decided to utilize some money to care for his dad, the wife developed a sinister plan. She is a treacherous and clever woman. She outdid him with the plan and if I were the husband, I can no longer trust her again.

Amberon11:
Are you sure your mental health is in tact?
A property you contributed 85% to shouldn't be in your name?

When most men build homes do they include their wives names on the documents?

.
Na wa for u. After marriage is it not the mans name the wife bears?

Eketem:
Okay na, let the African women continue to enjoy their slavery, when una taya una go find road

You are going to make a very bad wife. Tufia!

Acidosis:
Nairalanders have eventually destroyed your home. They failed to look at the bigger picture even though a few contributions warned against the mindless and shallow thoughts. They took side and warned your wife against shifting grounds. I hope they're now ready to accommodate her and the kids.

The same people will come around later to preach how 1+1 = 1, how marriage means the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. Lol

What is more shocking is how they advised a married woman to use a mere property to spite a hard working man (not a jobless man o). People were more concerned about the property, not the issues that provoked the statement "get out of the house"? So a responsible married man will just wake up and tell the wife "get out of the house"? From page 1 to about 4, no one care to ask what transpired between her and her husband, na so so property we carry for head.

It is well.

Pls, drop that line. The stubbornness of both of them was already destroying his house before the wife came online here. Why couldn't they resolve the issue between themselves?

This is not even a serious issue in my opinion, they just decided to blow it out of proportion.
The husband too should chill, and come down from his high horse. What the wife did was bad but he shouldn't forget to remember the good sides of his wife in this moment because that's what makes you forgive and forget.

Wanting the complete change of name on the house document is just a punishment which is extreme and unnecessary.

Who even told him that he can have the custody of the children who are likely minors. The Africa and crude mentality in him is still manifesting in him. The same way you want only your name on the documents. If you insist on having the custody of the children to yourself, what makes you think that your wife won't go to court? Who do you think is likely to have the custody?

Forgive your wife, accept joint ownership of the house. Or better still, tell her to put up the house for sale. Don't lose a good wife just because of one minor issue.

Why is your wife suspecting you of cheating on her all of a sudden, why not before? If you are flirting, better quit it if you don't know how to hide it.

You guys should agree on solution to this MINOR ISSUE and move on with your lives together.

Copy extraextra heseesall

lazy man. you cannot inherit a house with bullying, intimidation and threats, go and work and build your own like your mates. if you want to leave her, please do. for your wife to come and write here for people to insult you then she's ready for you either way. good riddance.

I Saw how people where just busy typing rubbish including that yarimo of a thing

When a woman says something I don't judge till I hear from both parties involved

Women hear them that's I don't trust any if I get married today the problem I will have with my wife is trust I just can't trust you not this time

That's why I dey do my hustle on my own I don't want someone one-day to tell me about how we started from scratch

If you want your wife to respect u so much make that money before marrying her so that when she comes in everything is settled

Respect55:
Why are u so bitter?
Hope u dnt take this tongue wrangling to ur husband's house else u will end up in ur parent's house sooner.

Please go and use your antipsychotic medication.

Don't mention me again