₦airaland Forum

NoToPile:
Why is it not necessary to include the wife's name in documents of family property

Why does her owning or not owning a property a determinant factor for where a MAN stands?

Why won't he be comfortable with it?

Let's assume he's not comfortable with it wifey wont/cant acquire a property right?

Will appreciate your response, trying to get how some Nigerian men think. Thank you.

cococandy:
So basically. She did not lie

sucre:
Have you not been pushed to the wall and you respond with nasty words. I beg go sleep

ExtraExtra:
out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

DMerciful:
You reason like a child and as such in no position to comment. when people are angry a lot of words they dont mean comes up but at the time the woman used her name only there was no apparent trouble meaning she's is deceitful. the issue the man has is the deceit which can be attributed to she doesnt really love the man, thats the issue the man has with her, its not about the property hence he wouldnt have so easily let go

pocohantas:
Your wife was right.
You are a proud man.
And wicked too.
Take your family issues off NL.

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think many men will be comfortable living in a house solely owned by the wife. If she had informed him, at least he would have determined whether to agree to such arrangement or continue to live in rented apartment while making efforts to build his own/family house.


Very obvious


Who says she won't/can't? But it will be for herself not one to house the family



You are welcome

tartarus:
"Dee" if you're reading this; STAND YOUR GROUND! If your "husband" won't agree to you adding his name right by yours as owners of that house then he can go to hell!.

Only a wicked man would want the house to be solely his!. He wants to be able to say, "get out of my house!" With his ego intact!

sisisioge:
True...outside their domestic dirty talks, she's a good woman. All those years she didn't squander her share of the profit o. She oversaw the project from start to finish, otherwise oga would have had to handle the papers and realized the fault in the title. And, life would just have been as usual if only oga didn't say she should get out of the house. May God bless us with fair people is a huge prayer my brother.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

TonyeBarcanista:
Did he just wake up from the blues to tell her to get out of the house? Did you miss where she was using toxic language at him and insulting his family? Any woman that doesn't regard my parents and family is unfit to be my wife even if she has 100 kids from me. Any man would react same way under such situation, some will back it up with follow-up resetting slap.

I blame the man, he has been a pussyniggar from the onset that is why the situation got to this level.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

NoToPile:
Thanks

But you did not answer the question 'why is it not necessary to include wife name on a house built solely by the husband:

JoannaSedley:
I will try to see if I can find it.

dabiton:
I think you Oga are very childish for bringing 'your side of the story' to complete strangers on social media just like your wife did.
I blame you for announcing your home to strangers, mostly unmarried kids to judge. So what did you hope to get by washing your dirty linen in public?
Now go back home, have a re-think, accept where things got wrong on your own path and get to work rebuilding the home YOU destroyed.
I am a married man and the only advice I will give you is that "Not even the closest person(friends, parents etc) to you should know about a problem you have in your home. it is a project you initiated and if it fails you can only have an excuse but you have failed all the same", only ever share the good side/strengths of your partner, NEVER their weakness.

Now get off Nairaland, and call your wife and have a honest conversation, not settle a case oo, because there is not case to settle!

YOU quit using your marriage as a source of entertainment and amusement to complete strangers!

Those kids need to have a MAN in their lives not EXCUSES!

if you wanna talk fine but I am not going to discuss what happened, just HOW YOU SHOULD NEVER LET THINGS SPIRAL OUT OF YOUR CONTROL!

it is not about WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG. it about YOU doing WHAT IS RIGHT!

Now, Get to work!!!

GrammarCheck:
That is why you are still unmarried

Platony:
Are u married??,..

If u're nt, den sharrap!!!

Husbands n wives do encounter such mishaps once once,...its part of marriage. Ups & Downs!!...always remember dat!!

Yagazie2016:
Both of you have erred in this case. Especially on the insults and anger you threw at each other. My advise to you are as follows
1. You are the leader in the house, you are the man. You need to take responsibility of the situation and work towards solving it. Your wife might be feeling some sort of insecurity and you need to identify it and reassure her. If she believes that you are cheating on her, you need to erase that. If she believes that you are spending money on your people without telling her, you also need to diffuse that thought.
2. If you run away from this problem by moving out and getting a new house, it will break your marriage completely and you will regret it for life. What is in a building that you are venting so much about? How old are you and do you believe that you cannot make enough money in life to build many more houses? Sometimes, people fail to see the positive future but wallow in the past as if God does not make every day new. Forget about that house. Call your wife and apologize for your unkind words. I'm sure when you do that, she will also apologise for her actions and for hiding the documents from you. Rebuild your home and close the doors of strife and anger, pray together with your family and ask God to come in and heal you all. Your marriage will be stronger at the end of this exercise.
3. I repeat, forget about your name being in that Title. Live your life and build up your family in love. Pride, anger, strife will get you nowhere in marriage. Make plans for the future with a cool mind. That's what you can never have if you break your home.

nipeks001:
Why's everybody missing the fact that the husband actually CONTRIBUTED FINANCIALLY( even though it's probably a little percentage) to the building of the house. Not putting their name Jointly on the name of the house is SWINDLING ,and hiding it was BETRAYAL. These are the offences the man felt from his wife towards himself .
what is this man's offence? Reacting to betrayal and swindling from the wife by telling the wife to do something that should normally not be acceptable? ( when we get offended, we generally try to lay terms of condition that will normally not fly on a normal day. Coz it makes you believe the person agreeing to such terms is actually sorry and making an effort........ it's normal!)

"Get out of the house" is supposedly another of the man's offence. It's indeed a vile word but it was said in a moment of heat while they were BOTH saying vile words to EACH OTHER. It doesn't excuse the behavior still though, and should be condemned, same as the woman's abusive nature(verbal)


Is the husband taking things too far? Maybe........ but it has to be said that it's was the swindling and betrayal from the wife that started all these drama. No problem in a woman owning her own house but she should have rejected her husband's financial input( no matter how little) and be straightforward with someone she claims to be close to her heart.


I hope the husband comes around and you guys are really able to settle this........ Peace out.

Ziggylady:
I laugh at the thought-process of some of you who may not know what life can throw in your faces..So if you are married and lose your job along the line meanwhile your wife is working and making money..you will stop eating because she is the one buying the food??..

Unfortunately your bragaddio ends here because in real life and in this buhari recession and hardship,millions of homes are being sustained by the women...and no one knows except you are told or stay with them

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

Platony:
One thing i cn sincerely argue wit my knowledge is majority of d commenters here sayin he wouldn't av told her to move out of d house "ARE NOT MARRIED".

....If u're married n av bn in marriage,...u'll knw such statements holds no water becos it is once in a while said wen ders heated arguments. Yet, dey stil grow stronger in love.

Wat i see here in der issue is "PRIDE" being incharge bt believe me u, dey'll reconcile & reunite.

By d tym dem stay 2 months without each other, der brain go reset to factory settings. Especially as children don involve.

Dem die there!!

Culled frm an experienced married man o.

ME

14yrs no be beans!!

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

MIKOLOWISKA:
what an unwise fellow. So a doctor shouldn't attend to patient unless he has had that exact same injury?

freshvine:
he had lived with the wife under the same roof for years but never enquire ownership cos he completely love and trust the wife. infact he believe in marriage.

asking the wife to change the document was a psychological response to the shock he got and if the wife was smart enough to have obliged, he could've got relaxed and reassured of her committment to marriage but rather she contested it that reinforce the fact that she's self centred.

the man tested the love with what she "prized" most and she failed!

Acidosis:
Nairalanders have eventually destroyed your home. They failed to look at the bigger picture even though a few contributions warned against the mindless and shallow thoughts. They took side and warned your wife against shifting grounds. I hope they're now ready to accommodate her and the kids.

The same people will come around later to preach how 1+1 = 1, how marriage means the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. Lol

What is more shocking is how they advised a married woman to use a mere property to spite a hard working man (not a jobless man o). People were more concerned about the property, not the issues that provoked the statement "get out of the house"? So a responsible married man will just wake up and tell the wife "get out of the house"? From page 1 to about 4, no one care to ask what transpired between her and her husband, na so so property we carry for head.

It is well.