Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Look him straight into the eyes and tell him you've over stayed your welcome

So far your name is still on the receipt your landlord gave you, definitely the apartment still belongs to you. Let him know you need privacy.

Burn his best clothes

I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

Reader530:

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

If "he can stay even for a year", then why're you complaining? In your OP you said "you're tired" (likely of feeding him 3x daily and giving him money), "want to be alone" and "want him to leave in a pleasant manner". Now "he can stay for even a year". You seem confused.

Reader530:

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

I read your post again, but that doesn't seem like your worries. You mentioned you needed privacy when he hasn't lived up to a month, now you don't mind him staying up to a year? If you feel he's draining your resources and you don't have, can't you communicate that?

You can't manage any adult as you would manage yourself, but you can be accommodating. If he isn't straight forward, talk to him.

Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though

Sunxylove:
Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though

Tnx. good advice

Reader530:

Tnx. good advice

Use the above ^^.

Telling a friend to vacate your apartment is not a good advice. Those advising you to send him out would not do such when faced with a similar situation.

There is no nice way of doing it. The best you can do is to pretend to be travelling if you don't want him around anymore. Just give him two days notice of your impending journey and ask him pointed questions of his move too as you apparently couldn't leave him alone in your house. Worked for me well before

Life could be just simple...

Hmmm...just tell him "guy abeg when are you going? I dey try manage myself here" .

Just look for a way. You are wearing the shoes and you know where it hurts.

The best suggestion is look him in the eye and tell him you can't accommodate him no more. Make him understand that he has inconvenienced you and you can no longer put up with him. Give him a reasonable timeline and stick with it and make it short.

For example

"Bros with all due respect as my guy, the truth is that your staying here wasn't planned snd budgeted, but your still staying here has been a burden to me, my finances and privacy, so considering all these factors I am deciding that in a day time you find another alternative please cos you would no longer be welcomed here and i mean it ( make sure you maintain eye contact)

Just say.... Hello my FRIEND, it is time you leave.
Thanks for coming!

ImaIma1:
Hmmm...just tell him "guy abeg when are you going? I dey try manage myself here" .

Just look for a way. You are wearing the shoes and you know where it hurts.

kool

Na wa. I think it's best you sit down and have a talk with him about it. It is not easy dealing with people who are not straight forward so I understand the OP's predicament.

I'd be worried if someone came into my house and stayed for weeks without change of clothes and all that. What if he is on the run and using my house for a hideout? That is a very real danger and you could possibly get into trouble for harbouring a fugitive.

Insist he lays all the cards on the table and then you can make a decision on whether to keep him for a while longer or get rid.

Ask him to go on nairaland , he should see this

How can you be feeding three times a day in this buhari regime?

At first why do you allow him to come to your house...

Simple. Just withdraw the food. He will exit sharply.

Don't cook for three days... (Eat outside) trust me, Starvation will drive him away

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

write him an open letter on Vanguard newspaper

OneCorner:
Burn his best clothes

Person wey no bring clothes?

VERY EASY, IT WILL ONLY COST YOU 100 NAIRA.


1 TELL HIM YOU'RE TRAVELLING TOMORROW

2 WAKE UP AND PACK YOUR THINGS AND HE'LL DO THE SAME AS HE'LL BE SET TO LEAVE TOO,IT'S YOUR HOUSE SO YOU'RE TAKING YOUR KEY ALONG !...

3 TAKE A BIKE TO ANOTHER DIRECTION WHILE HE LEAVES TO HIS OWN DESTINATION ,

4 TELL THE BIKE MAN YOU FORGOT SOMETHING AT HOME ,TURN BACK AND GO HOME , PAY THE BIKEMAN....


I HAVE DONE THIS SEVERAL TIMES !!!

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Bros travel leave am

Action speaks louder than voice.