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Stats: 2,097,744 members, 4,537,595 topics. Date: Monday, 22 October 2018 at 01:15 AM

How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? (39170 Views)

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How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Reader530(m): 3:05pm On Aug 09
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Babyforever(f): 3:21pm On Aug 09
Look him straight into the eyes and tell him you've over stayed your welcome

375 Likes 22 Shares

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by nifemi25(m): 3:36pm On Aug 09
So far your name is still on the receipt your landlord gave you, definitely the apartment still belongs to you. Let him know you need privacy.

34 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by OneCorner: 3:38pm On Aug 09
Burn his best clothes

38 Likes 5 Shares

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by kimbraa(f): 4:17pm On Aug 09
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Reader530(m): 4:33pm On Aug 09
kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.
Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Nobody: 4:43pm On Aug 09
Reader530:

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

If "he can stay even for a year", then why're you complaining? In your OP you said "you're tired" (likely of feeding him 3x daily and giving him money), "want to be alone" and "want him to leave in a pleasant manner". Now "he can stay for even a year". You seem confused.

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by kimbraa(f): 4:46pm On Aug 09
Reader530:

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?
I read your post again, but that doesn't seem like your worries. You mentioned you needed privacy when he hasn't lived up to a month, now you don't mind him staying up to a year? If you feel he's draining your resources and you don't have, can't you communicate that?

You can't manage any adult as you would manage yourself, but you can be accommodating. If he isn't straight forward, talk to him.

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Sunxylove(f): 4:53pm On Aug 09
Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though smiley

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Reader530(m): 6:54pm On Aug 09
Sunxylove:
Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though smiley
Tnx. good advice

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by Acidosis(m): 8:39pm On Aug 09
Reader530:

Tnx. good advice

Use the above ^^.

Telling a friend to vacate your apartment is not a good advice. Those advising you to send him out would not do such when faced with a similar situation.

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by sisisioge: 9:11pm On Aug 09
grin grin grin grin grin

There is no nice way of doing it. The best you can do is to pretend to be travelling if you don't want him around anymore. Just give him two days notice of your impending journey and ask him pointed questions of his move too as you apparently couldn't leave him alone in your house. Worked for me well before wink

Life could be just simple...

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by ImaIma1(f): 9:15pm On Aug 09
Hmmm...just tell him "guy abeg when are you going? I dey try manage myself here" .

Just look for a way. You are wearing the shoes and you know where it hurts.

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by 9japrof(m): 10:05pm On Aug 09
The best suggestion is look him in the eye and tell him you can't accommodate him no more. Make him understand that he has inconvenienced you and you can no longer put up with him. Give him a reasonable timeline and stick with it and make it short.

For example

"Bros with all due respect as my guy, the truth is that your staying here wasn't planned snd budgeted, but your still staying here has been a burden to me, my finances and privacy, so considering all these factors I am deciding that in a day time you find another alternative please cos you would no longer be welcomed here and i mean it ( make sure you maintain eye contact)

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Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by modelmike7(m): 10:06pm On Aug 09
Just say.... Hello my FRIEND, it is time you leave.
Thanks for coming!

1 Like

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by modelmike7(m): 10:06pm On Aug 09
ImaIma1:
Hmmm...just tell him "guy abeg when are you going? I dey try manage myself here" .

Just look for a way. You are wearing the shoes and you know where it hurts.
You've said it all!

4 Likes

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by obowunmi(m): 10:07pm On Aug 09
Change the locks.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by danthamccoy(m): 10:07pm On Aug 09
Na wa. I think it's best you sit down and have a talk with him about it. It is not easy dealing with people who are not straight forward so I understand the OP's predicament.

I'd be worried if someone came into my house and stayed for weeks without change of clothes and all that. What if he is on the run and using my house for a hideout? That is a very real danger and you could possibly get into trouble for harbouring a fugitive.

Insist he lays all the cards on the table and then you can make a decision on whether to keep him for a while longer or get rid.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by gambit10: 10:08pm On Aug 09
Ask him to go on nairaland , he should see this

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by chicoMX(m): 10:09pm On Aug 09
How can you be feeding three times a day in this buhari regime?

49 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by shoczy(m): 10:09pm On Aug 09
At first why do you allow him to come to your house...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by julybaba(m): 10:10pm On Aug 09
Simple. Just withdraw the food. He will exit sharply.

16 Likes

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by fashrola(m): 10:11pm On Aug 09
Don't cook for three days... (Eat outside) trust me, Starvation will drive him away

29 Likes

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by 400billionman: 10:12pm On Aug 09
Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all
cool coolwrite him an open letter on Vanguard newspaper

8 Likes

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 10:15pm On Aug 09
OneCorner:
Burn his best clothes

Person wey no bring clothes?

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by addikt(m): 10:16pm On Aug 09
VERY EASY, IT WILL ONLY COST YOU 100 NAIRA.


1 TELL HIM YOU'RE TRAVELLING TOMORROW

2 WAKE UP AND PACK YOUR THINGS AND HE'LL DO THE SAME AS HE'LL BE SET TO LEAVE TOO,IT'S YOUR HOUSE SO YOU'RE TAKING YOUR KEY ALONG !...

3 TAKE A BIKE TO ANOTHER DIRECTION WHILE HE LEAVES TO HIS OWN DESTINATION ,

4 TELL THE BIKE MAN YOU FORGOT SOMETHING AT HOME ,TURN BACK AND GO HOME , PAY THE BIKEMAN....


I HAVE DONE THIS SEVERAL TIMES !!!

51 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by mcdokwe(m): 10:18pm On Aug 09
Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all
Bros travel leave am
Re: How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? by israelmao(m): 10:18pm On Aug 09
Action speaks louder than voice.

1 Like

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