Sunxylove:
Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though

I don't subscribe to this.... What if he tells you he would be fine staying alone until you are back n even help secure your properties..
My own advice is ........ In a polite manner explain to him things are not really good to you at present. Also go ahead to tell him that you are expecting a very dear visitor that is coming over to your house, you may claim is your fiancee, a female cousin, a female sibling or a sick female relation that medication and rest. Tell him they would need privacy, because of your privacy or wish but theirs. I think he will understand. Since you claim he is not being honest and that you are not financially buoyant as well

[quote author=Reader530 post=70128810]Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

My own advice is ........ In a polite manner explain to him that things are not really good to you at present. Also go ahead to tell him that you are expecting a very dear visitor that is coming over to your house, you may claim is your fiancee, a female cousin, a female sibling or a sick female relation that needs medication and rest. Tell him they would need privacy, not because of your privacy or wish but theirs. I think he will understand. Since you claim he is not being honest and that you are not financially buoyant as well

This is very simple na...lolz... Tell him your girlfriend is coming over and she is gonna stay for 1 week

Lobatan... don't say it harshly. Like during your normal discussion.. Tell him 3 days before the time

Nigga how far na, my madam say she dey come so so day o. If you no get madam, tell him one of your gf. You don arrange the visit since last month.

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

What is your business with being pleasant with someone like that? Tell him he has to go. Simple.

If you can tolerate him more continue. If you cant tell him. Some mentalities will give reasons why you must, then you start suffering in silence!

If you can tolerate him more continue. If you cant tell him.

Nancypunni:


Atleast its now clear to me that majority of the advice from nairalanders can be trash...just look at wht dis one is yapping here...and in ur mind u made a valid point..you think he will be stranded forever....wht if end up needing the same help from him tmao...wch mouth u go use ask am...sometimes u do tinz diplomatically..infact its better to be kind than clever..

Madam abi padam, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion and way of handling issues.
This is my way of handling issues, and it has always worked for me, majority of times it has worked for me and the relationship still continued afterward.

My philosophy is to tell the individual to leave instead of acting funny or "tighten face"

Some guys stayed around me. Wont wash ordinary car, or clean it self talkless of clothes. After a long while of talks and talks I have to excuse them. Neighbours may think they are even paying me for staying when they see me cleaning my car myself and the guys staying in my BQ are walking up and down and even telling me weldone. Its crazy. I look wicked to ask them to leave but they are more wicked without any home training.

Hmmmm..... if u ain't married yet, I wud suggest u sud tolerate him. Thr is a adage dat says "respect who get but fear who never collect" lols. And yoruba use to say.... ojo ti'o su... ole ro lojiji. Meaning, rain can start falling all of a sudden witout givn a sign. We av seen rain falling in a very sunny day. It's a norms for guys.
Let me share a story wit u. I have a friend in institution days after school, after sch I had issues wit my parent so I left home. My dear friend was a banker at gtb in oyo state. I went to his family house in Ibadan. So he said I sud come live wit him in oyo. I dint have one naira. Jst me and my laptop. He feed me for a month, took me out and all. I later returned to lagos. Tins got better. Settle issues wit fams. Few years later, my dear friend called me. Told me he has been sacked for years but tins was pretty bad. He asked if he can come to lagos. I dint feel comfortable at first cos of his life style. Fake like and all. But I always flashed back to that a month love he showed me. Before I knew it he was in my family house. So I took him to my house. I told him, I dont have any job but I so much believe in computer. After few months I bort a small apartment . I left d rented 2 bed for him. Before a year he rented an apartment. Before I knew it he called me he wanted to marry. Not up to 2 years now.... he is d bread winning of d family. If I go to his house, bros e go use faaji kill me. And he's always thankful. My point is... if I dint accomote and tolerate him, he will still make it whc is very certain. But will I be able to go to his house? And thr was a day he was telling me his own elder bro he was staying wit bfor, always chase him out of d house if he wanted to go out dat he cant leave d key for him. Today d broda dey call him beg for money. He always cry wen telling his bro stories. And very sure ur friend life style cant be as worst as my paddy own. We rise by lifting each other bro. Ti o'ba wu Olorun, o'le so Oba ko' di eru... and if He wish again...O'le so eru ko di oba.

How many room do you have?

You can for example tell him your woman is coming and you both will need privacy for 1 or 2 weeks

hmm

9japrof:



Madam abi padam, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion and way of handling issues.
This is my way of handling issues, and it has always worked for me, majority of times it has worked for me and the relationship still continued afterward.

My philosophy is to tell the individual to leave instead of acting funny or "tighten face"

Ur advice is trssh...period

Greatzeus:

Whatever you decided to do,do it with maturity,don't make him feel like he's a failure or no good before leaving.
Believe me that guy can be someone who will help you tomorrow.
Believe me bro,I have seen a grown ass man who once beg for N20(many years ago) become rich and was even helping others. No condition is permanent,not yours not his.

Tnk u sir. I appreciate

Sunxylove:
Simple..just tell him you want to travel and that means you will have to lock your place because you dont have a spare key then pack your stuff and go to a relative house and stay for maybe a day or two and return.dont tell him you are back though

Ladies advice.
You must be a femespian .

Lol

Reader530:

Tnx. good advice

find out if he is battling with depression before you become the trigger for the unthinkable deed he is contemplating. He may have run to you for succor.

feed him once a day

u all spoke well. but let d young man just make a move of traveling, d guy will go

bring a girl to stay with u or pretend she is stay for a week every night him go sleep outside give u privacy to enjoy your babe only mosquitoes go format him aspect ratio na him go tell u say him move u can use a relative or a sister mosquitoes and cold be chasing people outside since jesus times

kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

but he has lied to the op

You have over fed him. He thought your apartment is a fair Haven. You have to feed him with gari so that he will remember home.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Time to show your friend you are a friend indeed. Stop whinging.

kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

Its been a while since I liked anything here. You try.

From all you just said He's not your friend but an acquaintance cos true friends dont get tired of each other. Be wise in your decisions cos u might be in a position of need tomorrow and the so called friend that seems to be a bug to you now............might be your helper.

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend invite him or her to come stay a few days and tell the person you need some privacy to enjoy your relationship.

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

You don't have to inconvenient yourself just because you want to maintain an unserious friend.

Tell him you don't have the resources to maintain him anymore.

He's not a serious friend. Any reasonable and serious friend would not behave the way is behaving.

Imagine he came with just one cloth.

Get a full glass mirror and practice what you plan to say.Negodu

Reader530:

Thanks, he can stay for even a year but he should have come with three pairs of clothes, he came with the cloth on his body, thinking that, he won't stay long. My brother, it is not easy to stay with someone that is not straight forward and keep enjoying it. Don't u know that u can't manage someone easily like u can manage yourself?

you r d cause
how will u feed him 3 square meals
Like good meals.
He wont leave.
Just reduce the food, eat dinner outside sef. Lol.
N tell him u r managing

My advice for you is to sincerely tell him how you feel in a polite way, he's your friend so you should know the right time to talk to him, bcus any means you come up with to take get him out of your house will be seen as wickedness..

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

In such situations you can not afford to be nice about it

addikt:
VERY EASY, IT WILL ONLY COST YOU 100 NAIRA.


1 TELL HIM YOU'RE TRAVELLING TOMORROW

2 WAKE UP AND PACK YOUR THINGS AND HE'LL DO THE SAME AS HE'LL BE SET TO LEAVE TOO,IT'S YOUR HOUSE SO YOU'RE TAKING YOUR KEY ALONG !...

3 TAKE A BIKE TO ANOTHER DIRECTION WHILE HE LEAVES TO HIS OWN DESTINATION ,

4 TELL THE BIKE MAN YOU FORGOT SOMETHING AT HOME ,TURN BACK AND GO HOME , PAY THE BIKEMAN....


I HAVE DONE THIS SEVERAL TIMES !!!

You're a bad person.

If you are in a better position to help please help because you were once jobless like him and somebody helped you before Npower started empowering you with little so manage with him because no conditions is permanent he will raise one day and remember your good bless

Babatundebaabs:
Hmmmm..... if u ain't married yet, I wud suggest u sud tolerate him. Thr is a adage dat says "respect who get but fear who never collect" lols. And yoruba use to say.... ojo ti'o su... ole ro lojiji. Meaning, rain can start falling all of a sudden witout givn a sign. We av seen rain falling in a very sunny day. It's a norms for guys.
Let me share a story wit u. I have a friend in institution days after school, after sch I had issues wit my parent so I left home. My dear friend was a banker at gtb in oyo state. I went to his family house in Ibadan. So he said I sud come live wit him in oyo. I dint have one naira. Jst me and my laptop. He feed me for a month, took me out and all. I later returned to lagos. Tins got better. Settle issues wit fams. Few years later, my dear friend called me. Told me he has been sacked for years but tins was pretty bad. He asked if he can come to lagos. I dint feel comfortable at first cos of his life style. Fake like and all. But I always flashed back to that a month love he showed me. Before I knew it he was in my family house. So I took him to my house. I told him, I dont have any job but I so much believe in computer. After few months I bort a small apartment . I left d rented 2 bed for him. Before a year he rented an apartment. Before I knew it he called me he wanted to marry. Not up to 2 years now.... he is d bread winning of d family. If I go to his house, bros e go use faaji kill me. And he's always thankful. My point is... if I dint accomote and tolerate him, he will still make it whc is very certain. But will I be able to go to his house? And thr was a day he was telling me his own elder bro he was staying wit bfor, always chase him out of d house if he wanted to go out dat he cant leave d key for him. Today d broda dey call him beg for money. He always cry wen telling his bro stories. And very sure ur friend life style cant be as worst as my paddy own. We rise by lifting each other bro. Ti o'ba wu Olorun, o'le so Oba ko' di eru... and if He wish again...O'le so eru ko di oba.

Nice story. I also don't believe in burning bridges because you never know who you will need their help tomorrow.

But according to the op, the visitor isn't straightforward with him. That's the only problem I have here. Like someone said somewhere here, what if he's hiding in your house for a crime? It's not usual for someone to come to your place pre-planning to stay for a while with no change of clothes, toiletries and he is not offering a reasonable explanation. It's suspicious abeg.

Again, if the op isn't buoyant enough, that's a huge inconvenience. Your friend was able to accommodate you for a month comfortably then cos he had the resources. You too were able to cos you had the resources. It might not be same with the op. If he has been managing, he knows how & it might not be easy to feed another person. Although, it doesn't seem like he's managing cos they feed 3 times a day.

But all I'm saying is, the guy should have laid his cards on the table earlier on. Come out plain. The OP can then decide to help him or not (it's his choice)