₦airaland Forum

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

bro u no get wife, na mama pikin u get, hmm arrest who and who,u better let go before she show worse

Why would your wife cheat on you outside your matrimonial home??

This matter is deep? Are you not satisfying her bedmatically? If you are then why? Is she bored? Is it money.....because u said she is working?

See there are many Y's you need to answer.

In summary

1. Ask for a family meeting with your evidence at hand.

2. If she shows remorse... Forgive and move on with your life with her!!

3.If she insists on promiscuity ...Omo get a lawyer for legal advise and process.

4. Before u divorce her sha...Give her the best Bleep of her life...that might change things for you both...

Good Luck

Uchenaija:
Once you start, it's hard to cure immorality, it's like drug.


What do you want: your wife back? Divorce? Ending your wife's or/and her colleagues job? Destroy the lives of two families? Forgiving and managing your wife? Managing life alone with your kid?

After careful thought, state exactly want you want, what will truly make you happy then your want would determine your decisions & outcome.

No one can make the choice for you in glaring facts.

Modified: I remembered your wife was reading this too, so let me send her a message:

Stolen waters are sweet, And food eaten in secret is pleasant but the aftermath is as bitter as wormwood. And your disgrace would never be wiped away.

wISE WORDS..
That last sentence is everything... that last paragraph

How do people even cope with a cheating partner sef talk more of married partners? Some men sha.. Me I'm a jealous partner o, I don't tolerate cheat biko, as you're a keeping a male friend so close, I would be warning you and upgrading our skills in the house and advising you, but as u slip off, believe me, no redemption for a cheat, the saving GRACE is a divorce. I can't even stand it, the op must be more amiable than Jonathan, even GEJ as less troublesome as he is can't take this poo. Man up in your marriage and be firm, do not confront her friend, before someone even plan to kill you and take over your wife, and make your kid fatherless, better separated than killed. Brother, file a divorce and stay happy ..she really killed the vibe in your Marriage, she lacks proper communication with you, I believe if you married a good wife, whatever would have attracted her to other men, she would imbibe such in her hubby and make you more exceptional to her except the man failed to take heed.I just pity the kid!, her mother's eyes would soon clear when that her friend disappoints her, she might not even be moved a bit getting separated from you her husband sef since egbon is still making her hysterical and hypertensive.

It is wellooo! Women and wahala

pocohantas:
Yes. OP, should fight for his marriage

Ok

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

Arrest him for what? did he rape your wife?

If we should investigate carefully now we'll see that it was your wife that started the conversation not him.

I don't just understand what is wrong with Nigerian men ,arresting men who fvcked their wives and beating cheating wives.

Have you ever seen an American man beating his wife because of cheating or arresting who she cheated with? No

They divorce. It's either you forgive her or you divorce not this one you just typed here.

shineeye1:
Whether it is male or female is immaterial. The comment made is true and valid!

my comment is immaterial to the topic. I directed it to this particular person for a purpose.

E be like say na your wife dey marry you, since there is only a kid from the union , run as fast as your legs can carry , an adulterous wife can lead a man to the grave

The level of promiscuity and sexual frivolity among youth today is getting alarming. They are quick to attack you if you take a position against their lack of sexual restraint, calling you all manners of awkward names. At the end they transfer these traits into marriage. Marriages are becoming a hell on earth. The result is rampant breakdown in many marriages today.

yettymuse:
Divorce is not even an option because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. You just have to make your marriage work. I hate to hear about cheating causing dissolution in marriages or relationships.

By the way your wife could be flirting and not cheating completely... Are you still doing those things you were doing during courtship? 9 years is a long time and trust me you must have begin to adopt the mama and papa style. When was the last time you both went for a dinner, movies, walk, vacation...?
Do you even still remember to call your wife sweet names?? Some foot massage after a hectic day?... Raunchy whatsapp message whilst at work?, breakfast in bed.... Little gift, lingeries, etc..

How's is your sex life? Do you communicate your fantasies and cravings? , when was she last time she got an orgasmic gift and said "THANK YOU"! Hunku you're married so no limits, no boundaries... Set everything on fire!

Maybe your marriage needs a rejuvenation, we sef dey get bored sometimes..

Reignite 'em romantic spark and set the atmosphere on fire. Instead of snooping, change your mode of dressing, stay trim and fit, wear a clean hair cut and smear some cologne mix n match.

If all this doesn't work, pray and watch WAR ROOM, please watch this movie and your marriage would be back to how it was.

Look at what too much of nollywood and hollywood movies have caused... Can you just re-read your post and see the trash you wrote up there? To you, you think his wife could have been flirting(cheating) because he didn't sex her like a stallion on bed to reach climax, or he need to start dressing like wizkid or Olamide so his wife will stop cheating.

It's crystal clear , you have just exposed yourself that you can cheat on your husband if he didn't dress with swag like a boy. Or if he didn't give you the 69 sex style on bed. I pity those who seek relationship advice from people like you, because you will have 1000 reasons to cheat in marriage/relationship.

Nonsense.

patani:
Sometimes I wonder why some men come to nairaland to ask for advice after catching their wives pants down. Can’t you man up for once @OP? Even bible(the holiest of all books ) said you can put your wife away on the ground of infidelity.
Hear this, a cheating wife is a killer.

My simple advise, don’t bother arresting the other guy, that’s a waste of time. Simply take your son and move on dude.

Abeg abeg abeg. If you don't understand the Bible, don't misquote and send wrong messages

take her to scoan for deliverance, tb joshua will deliver her, is a small case for that prophet

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it
Thank you.

I stopped posting on NIRAland because of those immature kids that's has swamps the land.but honest advice from me,quit that marriage or next we hear from u will be from the grave.
do these two thing's.
Call ur family her family,show them ur evidence, do DNA test and confirm d paternity of the child.

if its u that fathered him good
if not Good,it will only show what ur next priorities will be.

finally I will forgive a cheating partner but she has to go and whoever bring the Christianity issh here am gonno cursed u cos it was never recorded in the bible that d adulterous woman stayed with the husband,yes Jesus says we should forgive that's what's am gonno do but to stay with No no.

it is common is banking sector we see things there daily

after all this things she has done, just post her picture let's, anything wey wan kpa make e kpa

Wilfredpat22:
SIR, that is we women for you. It is so difficult for us to close our legs especially if we have been sleeping with countless men before marriage.

Her colleague has been enjoying her with you and you are the weaker man here. I will advice you to take a divorce. If my man cheats, I don’t even want to hear forgiveness, I am exiting from the house (that is if it his house)

And sir, it is only the colleague you are aware of, she might have been opening her treasure for the Bank manager, Auditor, Security guard... etc

Please take CHARGE AND DONT BE A SISSY

That one is just Keziah

victorian:
Behind this moniker lies a man not a woman. No woman will say such senseless thing. Perhaps u are from the pit of hell, sent on earth to destroy homes.
What a waste of a human being u are.

the lady is saying the truth, you people are calling her, hypocrite, that's how women do.

op sorry! it is painful for a partner to cheat. cheating is inexcusable and should never be rationalized. marriage is not for children. op that said, there are two sides to every story. let us hear from her b4 commenting fully. thank you.

yettymuse:
Divorce is not even an option because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. You just have to make your marriage work. I hate to hear about cheating causing dissolution in marriages or relationships.

By the way your wife could be flirting and not cheating completely... Are you still doing those things you were doing during courtship? 9 years is a long time and trust me you must have begin to adopt the mama and papa style. When was the last time you both went for a dinner, movies, walk, vacation...?
Do you even still remember to call your wife sweet names?? Some foot massage after a hectic day?... Raunchy whatsapp message whilst at work?, breakfast in bed.... Little gift, lingeries, etc..

How's is your sex life? Do you communicate your fantasies and cravings? , when was she last time she got an orgasmic gift and said "THANK YOU"! Hunku you're married so no limits, no boundaries... Set everything on fire!

Maybe your marriage needs a rejuvenation, we sef dey get bored sometimes..

Reignite 'em romantic spark and set the atmosphere on fire. Instead of snooping, change your mode of dressing, stay trim and fit, wear a clean hair cut and smear some cologne mix n match.

If all this doesn't work, pray and watch WAR ROOM, please watch this movie and your marriage would be back to how it was.

You mean it's his fault that his wife is cheating? You must be joking.. like seriously. That thing you wrote up there is trash..

Some men Sha can be so weak.

oglalasioux:
Whatever you do she will find someone else to cheat with. Divorce her and stay single. Marriage is not for reasonable human beings.

You said it all.

Most girls ain't loyal. I don't see myself tying the knot with a lady.. After all we owe each other nothing.

Iamdmentor1:
Abeg abeg abeg. If you don't understand the Bible, don't misquote and send wrong messages

Ok, tell me what the Bible say? N back it with the exact scripture. From new testament of course.

pocohantas:
Exactly!!!
A wise man buildeth his home...

OP, please follow this advice. Don't listen to all these alphas that would tell you to divorce your wife. They want you to be an unhappy bachelor like them!

Op divorce your wife.. it's actually either one or two things divorce her or die.. She won't stop. People don't change because you want them to, they only change when they care to change.. and your wife doesn't give a hoot. You might as well die.. forgiving trash is that one forgiveness

mankettle:
@ Op.
1. keep the evidence.
2. don't tell the wife.
3. Since you have proof that your wife is committing adultery,, a. if you can tolerate her, don't divorce her if not get a divorce. get a lawyer to advise you.
4. if getting a divorce you can sue the colleague as the named party. if you are lucky, the Judge may award damages to you.
5. on no account must you arrest him as the offence he committed is purely civil and not criminal? except you stay up north.
6. do not allow the wife to loose her job as it will affect your finances.

If this stuff actually works in Nigeria male celebrities wouldn't be cheating with their wives neither will female celebrities be cheating on their husbands.
Seems like you mistake Nigeria for UK or USA.

Iamdmentor1:
Abeg abeg abeg. If you don't understand the Bible, don't misquote and send wrong messages

can u pls explain what the bible say on this, a man caught his wife pant down and u wanna bring Christianity here,am gonno cursed u if u say the man should continue in that marriage,yes I support what Jesus said,forgive of course we ve all done such but stay with her no way,u may say if a man did it what shld be d reaction of d woman,I support d same treatment if d woman cannot take it moved on life is short to be miserable in any marriage

Wilfredpat22:
SIR, that is we women for you. It is so difficult for us to close our legs especially if we have been sleeping with countless men before marriage.

Her colleague has been enjoying her with you and you are the weaker man here. I will advice you to take a divorce. If my man cheats, I don’t even want to hear forgiveness, I am exiting from the house (that is if it his house)

And sir, it is only the colleague you are aware of, she might have been opening her treasure for the Bank manager, Auditor, Security guard... etc

Please take CHARGE AND DONT BE A SISSY

That's no treasure but public property

victorian:
Behind this moniker lies a man not a woman. No woman will say such senseless thing. Perhaps u are from the pit of hell, sent on earth to destroy homes.
What a waste of a human being u are.

She is smart that person you quoted.. way smarter than you can ever be! Pit of hell my foot.. did she send her to cheat on her husband??

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

My brother your marriage is gone. If after you caught her she is still on the guy then there is no hope. But first inform the guys wife,he does not deserve to have a peaceful home either.

Ishilove:
Haha!

I'm just a youth who recognises the quality which is missing in contemporary music. From my childhood to adulthood, I listened to music from different eras and perceived a vast difference. As a child, the way i reacted to Bee Gees, Queen and ABBA was always very different from the way I reacted to Run DMC, MC Hammer and disco music. The former had beauty and soul while the latter sounded like...noise.

Quality, my friend.

You and lies ehn.. youth ke

You and Dominique are no longer youths.. you guys are much older than that level.

I wonder how you can get aroused for a woman though who is bleeping someone else.. and still want to keep her. This one is either death by heartbreak or std..

Oshey

Maybe people should stop getting married sef.. fidelity has gone with the wind

Desloaaa:
Oga make this a sticker.

This is the best advice I've seen in ages.
If all of these does not work then you can give divorce an option

Only God's mercy can save your family