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Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? - Romance (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceShould I Go For Marriage Or Career? (22460 Views)

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Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Nobody: 3:53pm On Sep 20, 2018
tintingz:
I'm just emphasizing how he will be more attracted to ladies even without a girlfriend.
she's my girlfriend... we have been talking about marriage lately, just for me to propose, she told me point blank she's ready if I am.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by pocohantas(f):
soviete:
ohh..i love intelligent girls kiss kiss please let's skip the introduction.. Will you marry me ? cry
Lol. Just like that? Introduce yourself first na.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Hopebringer: 4:00pm On Sep 20, 2018
PrecisionFx:
"" If you are a man think back on every mistake you ever made, trust me you usually made them again and again right ? Now at some point your perspective changed and it was due to age ""

Story.
A silly man will keep making those mistakes for life n won't even regard it as a mistake.


"" The older you got your mind matured gained wisdom through repeated experience and self teachings
""

This is just a generalization n not not fact for men. Some Men want wisdom, Some Men dont. Some Men keep living the same dangerous lifestyle till whichever day it will kill dem. In fact even as their lungs de fail n dem dey for hospital admission bed,dem go still go hospital toilet go smoke.

Men don't get matured @ 30 or at any older age for that matter. Maturity is connected with many factors.
Many facts agreed

Age is one of them

It just is , the older we get the wiser , there are even proverbs to back this in every culture

That aside it is the truth
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by AdorableJosh(m): 4:03pm On Sep 20, 2018
id4sho:
Thanks man, no vacancy
You're welcome, thanks.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Boss13: 4:03pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
Have not proposed to her to marry me, but of recent we have been talking about how it will work out, it's all in my hands now... she seems ready, but don't want to start what I won't e able to finish because seems there is more to marriage hearing from people that are already in it.
Oga don’t try it. Go and increase your earning capacity. Money/finance is very important in keeping a happy home. If you strongly feel that the masters would increase your earning capacity and you have the funds for it; please go ahead else go and look for another job or business that can improve your finance.

As at now, you are not ready for marriage financially. Please know your girlfriend earns more than you at the moment. Women are wired to be dependent on a man and look up to their male companion for leadership and guidance. She maybe understanding now with the view that things will improve in the future. However, if they don’t, she will haunt you consciously and unconsciously. She would lose all respect for you. She would disregard you and you would regret the day you wedded her.

Finally what kind of life would you want your children to live. I bet you would want a better life for them. To be blunt N50,000 or N110,000 would not be enough to cater for your kids, living expenses, feeding and even emergencies. Don’t go and dig your grave. If she is understanding, let her wait and even if she leaves, you will get another one especially when you are now financially buoyant. Success attracts women like Bee to a honeycomb.

Advice from a married and experienced man.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by tosyne2much(m): 4:08pm On Sep 20, 2018
pocohantas:
"Nigerian girls can't marry a man without money, they don't believe in humble beginnings"... yet when they see a Nigerian girl ready to begin with them, they start second-guessing and discouraging themselves.

Confusion... grin



Here comes the defender of confused alpha males grin
How am I a defender of confused alpha males?

I didn't insult you ma
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Tompee2: 4:13pm On Sep 20, 2018
Please do not go for marriage now, go for Professional Courses bro

If you did Sciences, I would advise you go for NDT Courses.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by jeff1607(m): 4:20pm On Sep 20, 2018
Dorcas212:
lol 50k job and you want to get married?? Combination of 110k are you kidding me?


As a single i spend more than that in a month. How will you raise children? Depend on relatives? My brother think very well
everything has to do with planning and if both parties are in sync then the sky is just the starting point
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by BanjiHols(m): 4:24pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
she's my girlfriend... we have been talking about marriage lately, just for me to propose, she told me point blank she's ready if I am.
Life after school is different from school/NYSC times..welcome to the real World

My advise for you is to go ahead and marry her only if you know that she is a ride or die galfy.(a focused lady that can be there come rain come shine)
Cos its hard to find tru love after school/NYSC.

You can always further your education as long as u are compatible.


If not focus on your career.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by MrOpp(m): 4:43pm On Sep 20, 2018
BanjiHols:
Life after school is different from school/NYSC times..welcome to the real World

My advise for you is to go ahead and marry her only if you know that she is a ride or die galfy.(a focused lady that can be there come rain come shine)
Cos its hard to find tru love after school/NYSC.

You can always further your education as long as u are compatible.


If not focus on your career.


My dear, don't bank on what you know people to be before marriage, In marriage a lot of things change, people change, not intentionally, situation, challenges change people, When your girlfriend/boyfriend tell you "I will be there come rain come shine" my brother/sister don't bank on it, I repeat don't bank on it, am not saying don't trust people, but beware that situation change people, everyone has his/her breaking point.

TBH, love begin to grow long after marriage, when you have face a lot of challenges together and overcome it, when both of you have been & seen difficult times (this does not mean only financially) together and still standing, that's when you begin to really and genuinely begin to love each other earnestly.

I do tell most unmarried and single guy/ladies that when you have not spend reasonable time with your partner be it girlfriend and boyfriend what you feel, I don't call it LOVE yet, love takes a lot of time to grow, you must have seen the positive and negative side of each other and accept it. that is when you begin to say I really love you. Any other thing is just attraction, likes etc. but not love love is a strong word. I advise people not to use it carelessly.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by poweredcom(m): 4:46pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
lol sho mo age mi ni ?grin considering am 28, if I marry at age 30... my first child will be around 20 when am 50... it's not good to raise a child when u are old, I had a fair share of it, my parents where old when I was growing up, and I know how tough it is... no one is ready to help u train a child at the current times, one has to plan well.

That's the reason I posted it the first place so as to know if am on the right track or sliding away.

thanks for your advice smiley
It's just a state of mind

Rush rush no means say na u go born the best child
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by MrOpp(m): 4:46pm On Sep 20, 2018
BanjiHols:
Life after school is different from school/NYSC times..welcome to the real World

My advise for you is to go ahead and marry her only if you know that she is a ride or die galfy.(a focused lady that can be there come rain come shine)
Cos its hard to find tru love after school/NYSC.

You can always further your education as long as u are compatible.


If not focus on your career.
My dear, don't bank on what you know people to be before marriage, In marriage a lot of things change, people change, not intentionally, situation, challenges change people, When your girlfriend/boyfriend tell you "I will be there come rain come shine" my brother/sister don't bank on it, I repeat don't bank on it, am not saying don't trust people, but beware that situation change people, everyone has his/her breaking point.

TBH, love begin to grow long after marriage, when you have face a lot of challenges together and overcome it, when both of you have been & seen difficult times (this does not mean only financially) together and still standing, that's when you begin to really and genuinely begin to love each other earnestly.

I do tell most unmarried and single guy/ladies that when you have not spend reasonable time with your partner be it girlfriend and boyfriend what you feel, I don't call it LOVE yet, love takes a lot of time to grow, you must have seen the positive and negative side of each other and accept it. that is when you begin to say I really love you. Any other thing is just attraction, likes etc. but not love, love is a strong word. I advise people not to use it carelessly.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Nobody: 4:49pm On Sep 20, 2018
He's earning 50k ..his wife to be is earning 60k.

They can't run a home with a joint income of 110k?

You people will just be spewing bullshît. There are people who are earning 25-30k monthly yet they have families, own houses and some even maintain their own cars.
Shut up o. Do not compare them to those earning 25k. Do you want them to start thier life as peasants. 110k combined its small. The man should be earning like 200k
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by MrOpp(m): 5:07pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
lol sho mo age mi ni ?grin considering am 28, if I marry at age 30... my first child will be around 20 when am 50... it's not good to raise a child when u are old, I had a fair share of it, my parents where old when I was growing up, and I know how tough it is... no one is ready to help u train a child at the current times, one has to plan well.

That's the reason I posted it the first place so as to know if am on the right track or sliding away.

thanks for your advice smiley
OP, about this, I want you to know that its a good thing to have your kids early in life, for whatever reasons you might have, beware, if you decide to get married early and start having kids, its a good thing, but you might not afford to give your kids the dream life you want them to have, why? because you start having kids when your where still managing, you might not afford to send them to school in the UK, US etc, you might not afford to give them a world class education, an average standard of living until there grow up, when you start having kids it becomes very difficult for you to develop yourself professionally why? because caring and raising kids is time consuming and require a lot of money, since you don't have a big job or business yet, where will you get the money to raise your kids and still develop yourself? So you need to understand that for you to get married early and start having your kids young, you need to tradeoff something. So what am I saying, when you get married early, there is possibility that you need to trade off some growth in your career.

Op, I want you to find this book and read it "Winning by Jack Welch" read the last part of the book that talk about "Work life balance" you will get a perfect answer to your above comment on getting married early and having kids.

Cheers
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Shugavee(f): 5:09pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
I'm a of dude of about 28 years, I just finished my NYSC program and I secured a job that pays me about 50k, my girlfriend who is about 25 years too just acquired a job that pays her about 60k per month too.

Is it advisable I go for M.Sc. program or just settle down for marriage with my girlfriend and then follow my career later.

We both stay at Ibadan, the city is averagely okay.

What's your take ?
my darling, as far u r ready n ur gf is ready n hv no problem with what u earn , get married.. more money n masters will come.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by derbykol(f): 5:10pm On Sep 20, 2018
Go for marriage.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Shugavee(f): 5:14pm On Sep 20, 2018
pocohantas:
"Nigerian girls can't marry a man without money, they don't believe in humble beginnings"... yet when they see a Nigerian girl ready to begin with them, they start second-guessing and discouraging themselves.

Confusion... grin
asin ehn

Complete confusion
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Amalekki: 5:18pm On Sep 20, 2018
Go get married and have the babies. We at Nairaland are here for you whenever you need money to support your family grin
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by whytepawn1(m): 5:20pm On Sep 20, 2018
Dorcas212:
lol 50k job and you want to get married?? Combination of 110k are you kidding me?


As a single i spend more than that in a month. How will you raise children? Depend on relatives? My brother think very well
people raise kids on even smaller amounts.... it's all about priorities.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by abescom: 5:21pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
I'm a of dude of about 28 years, I just finished my NYSC program and I secured a job that pays me about 50k, my girlfriend who is about 25 years too just acquired a job that pays her about 60k per month too.

Is it advisable I go for M.Sc. program or just settle down for marriage with my girlfriend and then follow my career later.

We both stay at Ibadan, the city is averagely okay.

What's your take ?
50k a month and you are talking of marriage? You both should be aiming to make at least 200k a month combined and be ready to live an average live before you talk of marriage.

And at 28 you are still quite young. I got married at 30 and I would not have done it if I was making 50k a month. Try improving yourself career wise and you will have the chance of making more money and living a better life.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by bigpicture001: 5:23pm On Sep 20, 2018
Dorcas212:
lol 50k job and you want to get married?? Combination of 110k are you kidding me?


As a single i spend more than that in a month. How will you raise children? Depend on relatives? My brother think very well
..not every one is a slay Queen dt paint their nails nd spend so much all from a guyz pocket. if u live in ibadan,nf earn that much nd u have a supportive gf cuz wife..its ok....DORCAS life is not all gucci bags.....
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by bigpicture001: 5:23pm On Sep 20, 2018
Dorcas212:
lol 50k job and you want to get married?? Combination of 110k are you kidding me?


As a single i spend more than that in a month. How will you raise children? Depend on relatives? My brother think very well
..not every one is a slay Queen dt paint their nails nd spend so much all from a guyz pocket. if u live in ibadan,nf earn that much nd u have a supportive gf cuz wife..its ok....DORCAS life is not all gucci bags.....
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by gideonvalor98(m): 5:29pm On Sep 20, 2018
Both of you should further your studies, maybe Msc or professional degree or cert that relate to your course of study or values and interest to enhance your employability. You na still dey young, marriage no dey run.do that for 2-3yrs then see what's up about marriage
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Nobody: 5:31pm On Sep 20, 2018
tosyne2much:
50k to start your family? That's too risky man

Forget about her own contribution.. You know women can swear talk you to do anything especially when it comes to marriage matter

I will advise you to put both marriage and Msc aside and focus on your current job
Thanks a lot man.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by tintingz(m): 5:40pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
she's my girlfriend... we have been talking about marriage lately, just for me to propose, she told me point blank she's ready if I am.
The question now is, are you ready?
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Nobody: 5:45pm On Sep 20, 2018
Dorcas212:
lol 50k job and you want to get married?? Combination of 110k are you kidding me?


As a single i spend more than that in a month. How will you raise children? Depend on relatives? My brother think very well
I'm tempted to say shut up!
Shallow reasoning, soo full of yourself. Surely an empty barrel.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by TGM2015:
thegentleman:
I'm a of dude of about 28 years, I just finished my NYSC program and I secured a job that pays me about 50k, my girlfriend who is about 25 years too just acquired a job that pays her about 60k per month too.

Is it advisable I go for M.Sc. program or just settle down for marriage with my girlfriend and then follow my career later.

We both stay at Ibadan, the city is averagely okay.

What's your take ?
First question is why are you going for Msc? MSc is best to be taken when your current job require it for increment in pay and on part time basis, it will take you 3 to 5 years with total cost of not less than N400K. Moreover, MSc is best adviced to be taken after 5 years working experience, by then, you will have clearer view of your life time career. So the baseline is, if your current pay will not guarantee increment in your salary by the company's standards policy, please suspend MSc for now.

For marriage, hmmm, it is advisable to get married at early stage because of training the children before old age. For Ibadan, you can comfortably live with your wife and two children with combined sum of your salaries only that you may have little or no savings depending on your savings culture and unforseen circumstances. And if you 'girlfriend' has professes she is ready for marriage, I believe discussing the MSc issue with her shouldn't be difficult as you both can put fund together to support the first two years of the programme before children start coming in.

So, go for the marriage now and discuss way out doing your MSc immediately after marriage. You need focus and commitment but remember MSc shouldn't be rushed into with the hope of getting better job after completion. It is only in higher educational industry (polytechnics and universities) that Masters are very critical. To get better job in other industry, you just need your BSc, years of relevant experience, records of achievements and contributions to previous/current jobs and display of necessary competencies through your responses during interviews or assessment center.

Wishing you the best in your decision.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by mccoyelectric: 5:51pm On Sep 20, 2018
Marry oh....start early n thank me later
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by Nobody: 5:57pm On Sep 20, 2018
thegentleman:
I'm a of dude of about 28 years, I just finished my NYSC program and I secured a job that pays me about 50k, my girlfriend who is about 25 years too just acquired a job that pays her about 60k per month too.

Is it advisable I go for M.Sc. program or just settle down for marriage with my girlfriend and then follow my career later.

We both stay at Ibadan, the city is averagely okay.

Consider the level of your girlfriend in her family. She might be one of the children or the main child the parents expect to assist them after securing a job. Hear me, no matter how little the salary may be, she must send to them. Same applies to you because one Yoruba adage says: A ti fe 'yawo ko soro, owo obe loni ra (To get married is not a problem but carrying out your responsibilities as the head may be difficult sometimes. Additionally, your wife will also be asking from you even if her salary doubles your own. She only assists you. Think deeply.

What's your take ?
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by sexdoll: 6:06pm On Sep 20, 2018
divinelove:
He is just sampling opinion he will still decide what to do
the problem with sampling so many opinions like he's doing right now is that he will end up being more confused than he was ab initio.

besides, he's the one wearing the shoes so he should know where it pinches him.

most people who will give him advice will be biased in their opinions sort of, and that's simply because they are speaking from their own personal experience and views but there's no guarantee that what worked for Mr. A will surely work for Mr. B.

what good decision makers do is to quickly make a decision and then stick to that plan to make it work rather than being stuck in a mud where people will be telling you to do this or do that and in the end you will not even know what to do again.

if you want to get married, get married.

if you want to go for masters, go for masters.

if you think you can do the both, then do the both.

i don't even know why you will need someone to tell you what will be good for you.
Re: Should I Go For Marriage Or Career? by divinelove(m): 6:14pm On Sep 20, 2018
sexdoll:
the problem with sampling so many opinions like he's doing right now is that he will end up being more confused than he was ab initio.

besides, he's the one wearing the shoes so he should know where it pinches him.

most people who will give him advice will be biased in their opinions sort of, and that's simply because they are speaking from their own personal experience and views but there's no guarantee that what worked for Mr. A will surely work for Mr. B.

what good decision makers do is to quickly make a decision and then stick to that plan to make it work rather than being stuck in a mud where people will be telling you to do this or do that and in the end you will not even know what to do again.

if you want to get married, get married.

if you want to go for masters, go for masters.

if you think you can do the both, then do the both.

i don't even know why you will need someone to tell you what will be good for you.
you need people to advise you on some issues in life especially if you are inexperienced in those areas that's why government even have advisers
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