My sister, though I'm not an expert on relationship or woman affairs but all I know and I see is that your not more a kid and you have to plan your life.
1. If you disagree to lend or give whatever the case maybe, do you have anyone else
2 if you give him all can you bear it
In a nutshell I will advice you to put him on a trial be giving him 300k out of the whole money because this is your life saving here I think that amount is not too small if he has God feelings. Perhaps he has family to help him with some money again

On a positive side though she could lend him the money and nigga could blow from there and become rich and you'll enjoy the benefits.

Suzzyyy:

You are too rude, this is 700k we are talking about, my life savings not that I don't wnt to help, I love him so much tht I cnt see him sad, I just want advice to know if Im doing the right thing, dassall.

Rule number 1: Don't borrow ANYBODY money you can't afford to lose.

Only give him money that you won't find killing if he doesn't pay back. Else, the money issue will kill the relationship.

Since he keeps his promises....Do give him something reasonable,it musnt be 700k....but have it at d back of your mind that if he doesn't pay back you will part with it....my humble opinion.

Do not give him your life saving girl.

In fact, dont give him anything.

If you give him less than what he has asked, there's every possibility he won't start up his business cos of insufficient fund.

850k is all you have, please let him source for funds elsewhere.

donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out of his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

You be fool ah swear. Mumu.

EllaSparkles:
He knows ur account balance and he's asking for almost everything. Babe don't be blinded by love, it could backfire.
I once had an experience where a guy l was just starting a relatnship wit asked me to lend him some money, mind u we were just getting to knw each other and he was always forming busy wit work, not even having time to hang out. I told him l didn't have money at that moment. My guy run o, he stopped picking my calls and never called again. My dear, we knw u love him but he's only a bf. Pls giv him something u can afford to lose, hav something to fall to in case it goes the other way, which is likely. All the best

I wonder where you ladies come across these kind of men sha

KMSunshine:


Who is taking shots at you? Get your facts right, Modern Masquerade. Please leave here with your modern Masquerade face, I take God beg you, abeg no quote me again abeg I don't want to have nightmare please! Your face is worst than all natural disasters in existence put together! Igwe Kala Masquerade ( Queen of Masquerade)

As per na your papa get this thread shey? Ode oshi. I can't bet 700k this modafucka ain't up to 20yrs. Coming here to talk shii wif me. Consider your pathetic self ignored.

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

If you borrow him, you are going to regret it..

It's hard for people to pay back debts.. I'm talking from experience.

Give him what you can afford to loose which in this case is in the range of 200k.

We don't want to see a thread of how you borrowed your boyfriend 700k and he refused paying back.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
As per na your papa get this thread shey? Ode oshi. I can't bet 700k this modafucka ain't up to 20yrs. Coming here to talk shii wif me. Consider your pathetic self ignored.

E pain am

Suzzyyy:


Hez hardly make promises he can't fulfill because he likes keeping his words and he has never for one day ask for money from me if not this one

Don't ever ever lend someone 90% of your life savings. And the dude is not even your husband sef. use your head woman

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

commonsense is really not common. after all sense is profitable only to those who can use it.

cucuma give him the while 820k.

what you will see next is IV inviting to his wedding celebration.


how did he even know you heard such amount of money?

@Suzzyyy

Be very careful with serious financial decisions as this, giving away all your savings is a financial risk you should NEVER take in my opinion, you don't have to lend him your whole life and be left with nothing, If you must lend, lend him what you can afford for now, not more than 10% max of your savings (lets say 50k to 80k max), that's significant enough, he can put that into his business while working on figuring out how to settle his debts gradually with time. Please note, you cannot afford to give away 700,000 out of only 820,000 of your total savings, it is not financially responsible, i want you to understand this. Even if it was your own financial challenge, i would not advise you to empty your bank account to rebuild a failed business.

Sit down with him and discuss his plans about solving this present financial challenge. Find out the details of this problem before you offer any help, since you're getting involved with helping him solve the problem, its fair that he lets you in on it with more information. Know exactly where your money is going into, that is, is it going into his business or into debt repayment? Work out feasible ways to move forward and possible repayment plan

donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out of his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

kikikikikikikikikik

Don't forget the word "BOYFRIEND "
It is a major factor

There are things to consider before giving him the money.
- What if he couldn't refund it, will you be willing to let go?
Because even if he has a good heart, circumstances may not allow him to repay the loan. And if you ask him, he may feel you're not understanding enough. The suggestion is if you're giving him, just make up your mind that peradventure he couldn't repay the loan, you'll be able to cope fine.

- Then, if it's your Business savings, consider that you may find yourself in some challenging situation in your Business too, can you cope without a back up?
It's not a wise decision to empty your Business Account. That can equally send you out of Business.

And note that he's already indebted to a lot of persons, so repaying yours may not be on priority list. Will you still love him if he can't repay the loan?

These are questions you should ask before you take any step.

yazz09:
You are not obliged to lend him the exact amount he asked. Give him what you are comfortable with and tell him that's what you can part with as you still have other personal and business things that needs your funds

if I where you I'll take this

Thank God i opened this thread na here we go sieve the chaff from the millet ***grabs a chair***

Suzzyyy:


Hez hardly make promises he can't fulfill because he likes keeping his words and he has never for one day ask for money from me if not this one

Aunty please hive to him, he'll for ever be grateful and he'll respect you. do it like you are doing it for God. he needs you now, responsible guys never forget who helped them when they are down. don't give him anything less than 300k-500k.

You even need to let go of this relationship. Now that you cannot give him the money he requested he will resent you and not marry you. This is why you DO NOT show people your account because they start planning how to spend your money. Without thinking that you have planned how to use all that money to the last one naira in the account.

emmaodet:


Saff, good evening. Did you just say you can't give your hubby 700k?
Waoooooo, what a life but it is okay if the man raises 700k to set up is wife?
Then am beginning to wonder if relationships or marriage really Worth it sef, i think it is all scam.
Why? Because am 32 yrs old and 5 yrs in marriage and have taken loan of 2.5m twice making 5m to set up my wife who is a graduate but has no job but unfortunately we lost the money due to bad business plan and preparation.
Now the question is, assuming my wife is the one working but am jobless or struggling when we were dating, will she marry me? Probably not because she will think am not ready to settle down or not in are level as the case may be but since am the one on advantage, it is okay for me to go down and pick hevup, dust her up and support her but when it is the ladies turn, they will dump our ass.
The question still remains, does relationship or marriage really worth it for guys at all? Just thinking

@bold for d sake of kids...not that it is really worth it though...
Mind u considerable number of ladies are like saff, just that she voiced it. u can deduce that from their comments. We see how husband buy cars worth millions for their wives on birthdays & anniversary here on nairaland daily, how many women have u seen doing same for their man? Here we have someone screaming she cant give her hubby 700k?? Anything a woman step into, is only abt what she can gain...

girl, you are 29 and unmarried just use that 700k to buy your ticket for marriage...... ask me why






because you're never getting your money back in the nearest future. just take it as if you helped your husband business.. that way you go follow chop the money. if he doesn't marry you and doesn't pay you girl, you've lost all

Rubbiish:

@bold for d sake of kids...not that it is really worth it though...
Mind u considerable number of ladies are like saff, just that she voiced it. u can deduce that from their comments. We see how husband buy cars worth millions for their wives on birthdays & anniversary here on nairaland daily, how many women have u seen doing same for their man? Here we have someone screaming she cant give her hubby 700k?? Anything a woman step into, is only abt what she can gain...

700k is 80% of her savings. I am sure you cannot give 50% of your savings to your dying relative not to talk of your wife. Think before you spew rubbish like your name implies. So after giving him 80% of her savings how is she supposed to manage recurrent expenditures in her personal life and business? You want her to spend her money till she runs down so that she and the man will both be broke and useless abi. You are the type The is restless when they see a woman has money and will not hesistate to make her squander it all so you can feel like a man. Any human that has the guts to ask for 80% of another’s savings is simply wicked and has a plan.

Dou he has helped in d past, but he gave wat he cn let go, so my dear, just Gv him wat u can let go, in order 4 u not 2 b @ d loosing side. 4get luv nd tink wit ur head ohk.

Dou he has helped in d past, but he gave wat he could let go, so my dear, just Gv him wat u can let go, in order 4 u not 2 b @ d loosing end. 4get luv nd use ur head ohk.

Refreshingly, she has given meat to the notion that ladies by default are self centered and selfish.

The same dude gave you a whole 100k at a time when your business needed a breath of cash to survive. You didn't pay back. You didn't come online to ask us if you should accept the money or if he was testing you. I bet at that time, the relationship was barely 2yrs old..

Fwd to when he needs your help, he has proven to be loyal and trustworthy, the relationship has firmed up, then you come online to declare and to ask opinion from us who don't even know you or your bf.

It's typical of women when they want to offer help or after they have offered help, they would red flag it and trumpet it. Just one Bleep up from you, even if it's 10yrs after, and they would remind you how they saved your career.

I wish I could meet the guy whose condition made him to stoop low to ask you for money in private, yet you brought it online. It's certainly condition that makes crayfish bend. I would advice him to take an interest loan from the bank for it's better to take a loan with peace of mind than to be 'helped' and be a financial captive.

I wouldn't even mind giving him an interest free loan to sort his ish out.
No man should be made to suffer such ridicule.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
On a positive side though she could lend him the money and nigga could blow from there and become rich and you'll enjoy the benefits.

That's my girl...Now u are talking. It is a two way thing, we shouldn't always look at d negative...What is important is knowing if d guy is responsible & good headed. Her past dealings with him should tell d kind of person he is. Good people hardly forget who helps them, it played out in the life of stella obasanjo & wizkid also alluded to it in his chat with his babymama.

Op if u can't help your man now, it is best u end that relationship, if things eventually turns out well for him, just know he won't treat u right.

fancy4eve:
Dou he has helped in d past, but he gave wat he could let go, so my dear, just Gv him wat u can let go, in order 4 u not 2 b @ d loosing end. 4get luv nd use ur head ohk.

How did u come abt this?
Do u know if all he had when he gave her d 100k was 120k?
Dont jump into hasty conclusion

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

Oh I'm so disappointed with the comments I'm reading on this thread and it's so disheartening knowing they're all coming from women who definitely want to build a home with a gentleman someday...Oh I so much pity that Man.

Now back to the situation on ground, I trust you've heard enough and you've made your decision already but one last thing I'll love to tell you is this, Always remember whether you help him or not, he will get back to his feet and never forget in a hurry that you can be in his shoes someday.

baby124:

700k is 80% of her savings. I am sure you cannot give 50% of your savings to your dying relative not to talk of your wife. Think before you spew rubbish like your name implies. So after giving him 80% of her savings how is she supposed to manage recurrent expenditures in her personal life and business? You want her to spend her money till she runs down so that she and the man will both be broke and useless abi. You are the type The is restless when they see a woman has money and will not hesistate to make her squander it all so you can feel like a man. Any human that has the guts to ask for 80% of another’s savings is simply wicked and has a plan.

Wasn't expecting anything less from u...Thought your man hating had led astray by now...Surprised u still here...

It is now like you want to bet. Rule is: Don't stake what you cant afford to lose. In the same vein, dont lend what you cant afford to lose. He needed 700k, that doesn't mean you should give him that. I'm into business too and I know sometimes things doesn't work out as I often imagine. He might analyze how he would spend the money and it looks almost real and cool, but mind you, that's just a forecast. It might end up not working as he assumed it would. Be careful and listen to the good advice which you've been given.

Rubbiish:

How did u come abt this?
Do u know if all he had when he gave her d 100k was 120k?
Dont jump into hasty conclusion

no man, I repeat no man will risk 100k out of his 120k, so tink b4 u talk.

Hv seen so many cases dat ended in big fight, so dear, to avoid long story, u Gv wat u cn let go.