Use that money to get him married to you first....start the business together...then....

For those ladies making phony comments just know that a woman's responsibility to a man is not solely being his cock holster.

DissTroy:


Thanks to you and the other selfish females on this thread for giving me even more reasons to act aloof towards women and their problems, to never bother about helping out female non-relatives financially.

I'm glad I made and stuck to that decision years ago.

.. Honestly I'm disappointed with most of the comments here. Imagine our mentalities and we still call ourselves humans. This shows that most of our ladies are only in relationship for what they can gain without offering anything apart from pussy. Just listen to the op,the guy has always been there for her and nobody heard about it,just to be of help even if its a little she is here seeking for validation to know if she is doing the right thing. Does she ask or seek for validation from people before offering him pussy? I don't tire for some people and the way they reason anytime money is involved.

Give him what you can part with, without regrets . Don't expect anything in return

don't give him o, unless you are willing and are in position to let go if he refuses or is unable to pay back.

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

For 3years now, you should know where this relationship is getting to and if you don't trust this guy, you won't still be in a relationship with him. If you love and trust him, help him out with the money but if it will affect your business you can take off what will sustain you and give him the rest. Say give him 500k or 400k depending on how much you are putting into your business. Trust me this guy will forever be grateful whether the relationship works out or not.We should also learn to give without expecting anything back in return so please don't give because he will marry you in future because that's where it will hurt the more if it didn't work out. If you are able to raise such amount yourself, even if he goes away with it which is what I'm sure you are afraid of, you will still make this money back. There is more to relationship and friendship than just MONEY. If you can't sacrifice now, are you sure you will be able to sacrifice for him in future if such case arises. Love requires sacrifice, I'm sure you know that before you agree to date him.

Babe...don't risk the relationship. Give him what you can afford to let go. If he was a husband, I will have no worries, but a boyfriend is no guarantee.
Money is one of the most potent relationship wreckers among friends so watch it.
My humble opinion though.
Personally I will not let go that amount for a boyfriend but I will gladly let go all for my husband.

Suzzyyy:

You are too rude, this is 700k we are talking about, my life savings not that I don't wnt to help, I love him so much tht I cnt see him sad, I just want advice to know if Im doing the right thing, dassall.

I need just 50k abeg. 2112394728 UBA....Don't worry, you'll be fine.

stuffs4me:


Another leach comments. You were not a criminologist when he gave her N100K for her business but now it's her turn to help, you suddenly become a criminologist.


Olodos criminologist, since when did it become a crime to borrow money from a girlfriend.

Oh pls shut it! I never said it is a crime. But giving one's savings to such? It will definitely bring problems for her. Its so unnatural for men to ask women for money eh, deal with it.

Don't forget he z not married to you yet, I won't advice u to give a man u are not married to ur life savings. Think twice. Sometimes love can be a scam oo

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

forget all this "I need advice on what to do. I've read through and seen how you responded to a lot of comments. You are only here to get a good reason not to help him in his own time of need. Sugar, do not lend him the money. You obviously do not want to lend it to him. Personally, if my girlfriend helped me once without batting an eye, when she needs my help, I will help her also if I have the means. That you are thinking twice and unsure only means you do not want to help him. Simply tell him "no I can't help". It's better than having such thoughts in your heart and outwardly make him think you really trust him just as he does. You said it yourself. He doesn't tell you his problems and solves them alone because he likes to handle his sh!T like a man. He never intended to ask you because he probably felt you will never be as selfless as he can be but then, you forced him to tell you his problems which he didn't want and since you now know, he let go of his pride and stooped low enough to do the one thing he never does which is to beg for your help and now you are here getting jittery. The money you have saved up, I hope you know it is because of the help he rendered you that you have been able to get your business to stand and thrive? Let your conscience guide you. Help him if you want to, do not help him if you have doubts about his character. The choice is yours. Just know that if he knows you have the capacity help and you do not help now that he needs you and he eventually is able to stand on his own, succeeds and his life goes back to how it used to be and even better, you will lose his love and trust to ever be his pillar of support and as such cost you his love which I would really support. Last words..

You have 820k in your life, borrow what you can afford to dash him Incase he can't pay back. That he needs 700k doesn't mean you should be the one to pay it all. Besides, you know how the money will be used. Look for the most important thing among his list and help him out with the most pressing that is "IF YOU CAN"

I like this very candid answer....

donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out of his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

madridguy:
Don't borrow anyone amount you cannot let go. My kobo

Like I keep saying, anytime you're not blindly defending Buhari, you're actually very sensible.
The grammar is Don't lend anyone an amount you can't let go though

This could be a lifetime opportunity for you to have a man that will carry you like egg for the rest of your life OR lose him entirely. God help you.

khalazi:

No de hide behind ur dialect. Talk Wetin I go hear as you get mind

I said you're a mean b!tch.

Give him 350k tops and see what he does with it. Do not part with your life savings. It wont end well if he could not pay back as you will lose both ways and become bitter. Do your best but don't kill yourself.

donstan18:
You don't want advice, you want to see a reason not to.

Nairalanders don't know your boyfriend as much as you do, you know him and should be able to tell if he's responsible or wayward, if he's extravagant or not, if he's wise or dumb, if he's worth the sacrifice or not. You alone can tell yourself these, not strangers. You'll be advised by people here based on what they can personally do for a partner, some will advice you to go ahead because they can do it, while some will discourage you not to, because they can't do it.

I would have advised you not to, but I made my first comment because this same guy helped you when your business needed to stand, so if you feel he's worth it, do it.

I can do this for a woman, but before I do, there are positions you must hold in my life to be qualified. You must be my mum, sister, daughter or wife, any position less than the aforementioned will be a NO NO for me.

The Boss has spoken

donstan18:
You don't want advice, you want to see a reason not to.

Nairalanders don't know your boyfriend as much as you do, you know him and should be able to tell if he's responsible or wayward, if he's extravagant or not, if he's wise or dumb, if he's worth the sacrifice or not. You alone can tell yourself these, not strangers. You'll be advised by people here based on what they can personally do for a partner, some will advice you to go ahead because they can do it, while some will discourage you not to, because they can't do it.

I would have advised you not to, but I made my first comment because this same guy helped you when your business needed to stand, so if you feel he's worth it, do it.

I can do this for a woman, but before I do, there are positions you must hold in my life to be qualified. You must be my mum, sister, daughter or wife, any position less than the aforementioned will be a NO NO for me.

The Boss has spoken ��

donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out of his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

There are several cases of Men who gave their life-savings for a girl education and eventually got disappointed at the end of the day. They become bitter and some do crazy things including murder. So this is not an issue of relationship but business. Do not give what you cannot afford to lose.

Jazmiynne:


Whatever you do, don't give out of a heart that intends to "trap him" into commitment on the basis of your "sacrifices" (you can watch Acrimony to confirm how that turns out).

I like your analysis

abegi...give am if you get am

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khalazi:

No de hide behind ur dialect. Talk Wetin I go hear as you get mind

I said you are a mean b!tch.

yazz09:
You are not obliged to lend him the exact amount he asked. Give him what you are comfortable with and tell him that's what you can part with as you still have other personal and business things that needs your funds

@Op, was going to say these same words to u.

700k is too big an amount to lend to him, just give him the amount you know you can part with. DO NOT EXPECT A REFUND

madridguy:
Don't borrow anyone amount you cannot let go. My kobo

Yes o,that's the blunt Truth

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

Babe,give him an amount you're comfortable with such that if he doesn't return it,you would be able to forget

funmisticqueen:
if you think relationship/marriage isn't worth it, ask cheating husbands why they cant leave their wife for a sidechick?

1)guilty conscience
1.5) no emotional attachment to sidechick.
2)children
3)relatives
4)reputation
5) the african dogma.

Rubbiish:

How did u come abt this?
Do u know if all he had when he gave her d 100k was 120k?
Dont jump into hasty conclusion

And so. So because you gave all the patapata #100 you had, I should now give you all the #100,000 that I have. Maybe you are dreaming. Do you know the amount of work I put in place to raise the 100k while you lazy around or while you are not business smart enough to increase your #100?

He helped you our of a tight corner once, its only proper for you to help him out now that he's in a fix.

If you truly love him as you say you do, help him out, but I wouldn't advise you give him 700k... Thats more that 70% of what you have in ur akant, sorry... Account

Give him what you feel you can conveniently part with

kkins25:
1)guilty conscience 1.5) no emotional attachment to sidechick. 2)children 3)relatives 4)reputation 5) the african dogma.

lol, men have everything to gain from a marriage

Offpoint:

Baby girl... only those who understands what love means will understand my comment.

I will ask you a question, your answers will determine the level of your understanding.

if your boyfriend was in a life threatening situation e.g accident and the doctors need 800k to save him and you're the only one person on earth he has left, and you have 820k in your account.... will you save him or not?
I need an answer.

love indeed. this is very different from that scenario because no one is dying here. You cant compare the two scenarios please. Do not vex me.

I need to have a private chat with this lady, maybe I will be the lucky guy to have the money

funmisticqueen:
love indeed. this is very different from that scenario because no one is dying here. You cant compare the two scenarios please. Do not vex me.

I see, baby girl what scenario is not the same?
Lose of source of living = depression = suicide

tell me what the difference is.

donstan18:
You don't want advice, you want to see a reason not to.

Nairalanders don't know your boyfriend as much as you do, you know him and should be able to tell if he's responsible or wayward, if he's extravagant or not, if he's wise or dumb, if he's worth the sacrifice or not. You alone can tell yourself these, not strangers. You'll be advised by people here based on what they can personally do for a partner, some will advice you to go ahead because they can do it, while some will discourage you not to, because they can't do it.

I would have advised you not to, but I made my first comment because this same guy helped you when your business needed to stand, so if you feel he's worth it, do it.

I can do this for a woman, but before I do, there are positions you must hold in my life to be qualified. You must be my mum, sister, daughter or wife, any position less than the aforementioned will be a NO NO for me.

This is why we don't succeed in business in this country.She needs to set aside at least 500k as Working capital for her business.She needs to replace fixed assets too.She can give him 200k.He can start from somewhere.Do you want both ship to sink? Yes business is a risk but it needs to be calculated to worth it.Op,give him 200k and explain to him your plans.It will benefit both of you if one side is still standing instead of all falling.Op,give him all and watch him pay off his debt without investing it.I believe he cant use because of this to breaks up but if he does,allow him.