CAPSLOCKED:



LOL. WE'RE VERY MUCH AWARE THAT MOST WOMEN (NOT ALL) WOULD RATHER COMMIT SUICIDE INSTEAD OF HELP OUT A MAN.
THEY CAN'T HELP THEIR MALE FRIENDS, NOR THEIR BOYFRIENDS, NOR THEIR HUSBANDS.. NOT EVEN THEIR OWN BLOOD BROTHERS.

THEY ONLY WANT TO RECEIVE, AND NEVER TO GIVE.

"SELFISHNESS AND WICKEDNESS" IS THE SYNONYM FOR WOMEN LIKE YOU.

ZoeyJ:
I made that mistake of lending out 43k and never got it back.
I'm still pained

CAPSLOCKED:

JUST LIKE MISSRAINE69 SAID... MONEY BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE. . [/color]

Colourich:
700k is too much to lend a man. Give him back the 100k, tell him that's what you have.

CAPSLOCKED:


BUT IT'S A MAN'S JOB TO GIVE WOMEN MONEY... HAHAHAHA.

NO WONDER AUNTY CHIMAMANDA WANTS MEN TO STOP DOING THINGS FOR YOU PEOPLE (INCLUDING THE SIMPLEST THINGS LIKE OPENING DOORS) CUS MOST OF Y'ALL TERRIBLE HUMANS WHO DON'T DESERVE ANY LOVE OR FAVOURS.

DID YOU SEE WHERE THIS LADY SAID HER MAN HELPED HER WITH SOME MONEY TO DO BUSINESS? AND NOW HE'S UNFORTUNATE WHILE SHE'S BETTER THAN HIM AND ALL YOU WOMEN ON THIS THREAD ARE DOING IS DISSUADE HER NOT TO HELP HIM BACK JUST THE WAY HE HELPED HER.

YOU WANT HIM TO REMAIN BROKE SO SHE CAN BROKE-SHAME AND DISRESPECT HIM, AND JUMP ON TO THE NEXT AVAILABLE MAN.

MOST OF YOU GIRLS ARE TERRIBLE.
WOE BETIDE THE MAN THAT'LL TAKE ANY ONE OF YOU AS HIS WIFE OR ANYTHING SERIOUS.
HE'S DESTINED FOR RIDICULE, SORROW, POVERTY, PAIN AND UNTIMELY DEATH.

THIS IS WHY MEN DON'T GO TO WOMEN FOR HELP. YOU AIN'T GETTING NOTHING.
THIS IS WHY WOMEN DON'T GO TO OTHER WOMEN FOR HELP. NOTHING GO FALL OUT... EXCEPT SHAMING AND INSULTING YOU.

YOU CAN'T HELP YOUR MAN WITH CASH, YOU CAN'T PAY BILLS, YOU CAN'T CONTRIBUTE IN ANYWAYS TO ANYBODY'S LIFE...
YOU ONLY USE YOUR MONEY FOR WIGS AND MAKEUP AND YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY LIVING? DAMN.

JUST LIKE MISSRAINE69 SAID... MONEY BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE. .

Suzzyyy:

You are too rude, this is 700k we are talking about, my life savings not that I don't wnt to help, I love him so much tht I cnt see him sad, I just want advice to know if Im doing the right thing, dassall.

CAPSLOCKED:





LOL. WE'RE VERY MUCH AWARE THAT MOST WOMEN (NOT ALL) WOULD RATHER COMMIT SUICIDE INSTEAD OF HELP OUT A MAN.
THEY CAN'T HELP THEIR MALE FRIENDS, NOR THEIR BOYFRIENDS, NOR THEIR HUSBANDS.. NOT EVEN THEIR OWN BLOOD BROTHERS.

THEY ONLY WANT TO RECEIVE, AND NEVER TO GIVE.

"SELFISHNESS AND WICKEDNESS" IS THE SYNONYM FOR WOMEN LIKE YOU.

GerogeI:
Hello OP,
I logged in just cause of you.

1. First 700K is not 100K, do not equate the two. For any man (angel or demon) to give you 100K freely, he has at least 900K to spare.

If your life will change drastically if you loose 700K, then do not ruin your life by giving that to someone. Nobody is infallible. The first rule of life is never lend out what you cannot loose.

2. Then separate business from pleasures. Why do you have 800k sitting in you account? If 800K is your life savings, you have a very low income level. At your income level you can not grow if you do not invest every spare penny. Go buy land or something, stop keeping money for the bank to use. Moreover, just one emergency can wipe out that sweat, commit it to something tangible that your can cashout in future.

3. 700K is not such a huge money. Your bf should be able to get that without putting you at risk. You are not a bank. Take your bf to a microfinance bank, speak with the bank manager on the available loan solutions they can offer him. You can help him by guaranteeing him for a loan, since you still have a steady income. For this you know he must have run away from Nigeria before you become liable for the money.

Cheers and Goodluck!

emmaodet:


Saff, good evening. Did you just say you can't give your hubby 700k?
Waoooooo, what a life but it is okay if the man raises 700k to set up is wife?
Then am beginning to wonder if relationships or marriage really Worth it sef, i think it is all scam.
Why? Because am 32 yrs old and 5 yrs in marriage and have taken loan of 2.5m twice making 5m to set up my wife who is a graduate but has no job but unfortunately we lost the money due to bad business plan and preparation.
Now the question is, assuming my wife is the one working but am jobless or struggling when we were dating, will she marry me? Probably not because she will think am not ready to settle down or not in are level as the case may be but since am the one on advantage, it is okay for me to go down and pick hevup, dust her up and support her but when it is the ladies turn, they will dump our ass.
The question still remains, does relationship or marriage really worth it for guys at all? Just thinking

Offpoint:

If you truly love him, help him out in his darkness hours, stand by him, he needs whatever helps you can render now than ever.
We say "love his all about sacrifice" dear, this is the time to show how far you can go for love.

Do whatever you can to help your man back to his feet, remember when you needed him he was there for you without weighting loses. I know it's not easy, but do it. Nature has a way of rewarding our good deeds, and our evil deeds.

stand by your man

LadyHeaven:
Don't lend him all, dash him like 100-200k tell him it's what you can afford and no need to pay back,firstly it validates you as having his back and been kind enough to freely give without hope of payback and secondly you still have a strong back up, what my eye has seen when it comes to money and trust no be here, Be wise

PS- even if it was the woman asking the man I would still maintain same stance.

Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
@Suzzy as a criminologist whose number one is trust nobody, what if this your boyfriend sold off everything to traveled abroad Pretty conducive he encountered a problem that got him owning or did Custom seize his goods or they capsized in the Sea

For you to know his true side just tell him you can cough out only 200k intact you have only 250k in your savings and can give 200k.

The ultimate con is using little money to catch more Money.

Just saying

Suzzyyy:

You are too rude, this is 700k we are talking about, my life savings not that I don't wnt to help, I love him so much tht I cnt see him sad, I just want advice to know if Im doing the right thing, dassall.

Jazmiynne:


Let's start with some things that I find worrisome in your story...

1. Your boyfriend got into business trouble deep enough that he lost his shop and entire business and you had no idea? As in he didn't tell you, instead started throwing moods around? Really... Please what do you guys discuss in your relationship biko?
Who does your boyfriend confide in?
In a commited relationship, couples share their struggles and wins.
For me that says a lot about your relationship and it's not a good lot I tell you.



2. The quoted above is yet another worry. That the thought enters your mind is normal, don't let anyone make you feel stupid. No one wants to be cheated, so that thought entering your mind isn't out of place. But what is worrying is that the thought stayed. As in, it didn't just fleetingly occur to you, it sounds like this is an actual thought process for you. Again this tells a lot about your relationship.
As
3. Still on the quoted, why will your boyfriend see that your entire money in this life is 820k and then request for 700k to pay off debt and start a business afresh? Especially when he knows you also run a business, it's not like you earn salaries such that he is banking on next month's salary to cushion the effect. Is it 120k that you will use to run your own business and cater for your personal expenses (including his own expenses that you're currently assisting with)?
Not to sound like a bad wish, but what if he honestly intends to repay but the business fails?
I find this really worrisome. A partner who is thinking with you in the picture, will consider these factors "when she gives me, how do we survive?" If he had asked for 500k sef that would have been more understandable. It's not a bad thing if he gets the bulk sum from you and sources for the remaining 200k.

3. Completely ignore the people that are singing how they spent millions on their girlfriends and how women never want to spend on a man. First off, you didn't send them to spend the money. Also, this is your story not theirs, you choose the risks you're willing to take. Don't let anyone conscientize you into making money decisions. I'd tell you for free that if you were a guy who posted this same story on NL, 88% of the comment would have focused on how the lady is a gold-digging bitch who keeps info from her man (and is hence not to be trusted) and wants to run him down by taking 700k out of his 820k life savings.
For that reason, expunge gender bias from your mind when you're making the decision. You have absolutely NOTHING to prove to anyone by giving him money just to show that women can give too. It's YOUR money, YOUR man, YOUR life, YOUR risk.

Oh well...

I'm not going to say give or don't give. That's because in relationships, things are rarely ever black or white, there's lots of grey lines that your narrative will not explain to us. But before you make your decision, please think about these points I've raised and especially if you're making the decision with a mind that will later think "after all I've done for him".

And if you're giving, don't just borrow money without some sort of recorded outline of your money is to be repaid. Except you're dashing him, make it plain that it's a dash. If it's a loan, let him make it plain how it will be repaid. It's a business transaction, leave love out of it please, your business is loaning another business funds; so make sure to DOCUMENT it in the presence of a neutral witness.

Whatever you do, don't give out of a heart that intends to "trap him" into commitment on the basis of your "sacrifices" (you can watch Acrimony to confirm how that turns out).

Thanks to you and the other selfish females on this thread for giving me even more reasons to act aloof towards women and their problems, to never bother about helping out female non-relatives financially.

I'm glad I made and stuck to that decision years ago.

Suzzyyy:


Hez hardly make promises he can't fulfill because he likes keeping his words and he has never for one day ask for money from me if not this one

yazz09:
You are not obliged to lend him the exact amount he asked. Give him what you are comfortable with and tell him that's what you can part with as you still have other personal and business things that needs your funds

DissTroy:


Thanks to you and the other selfish females on this thread for giving me even more reasons to act aloof towards women and their problems, to never bother about helping out female non-relatives financially.

I'm glad I made and stuck to that decision years ago.

yazz09:
You are not obliged to lend him the exact amount he asked. Give him what you are comfortable with and tell him that's what you can part with as you still have other personal and business things that needs your funds

funmisticqueen:
please this is blackmail of the highest order. Dont use your heart, but your head

ZoeyJ:
I made that mistake of lending out 43k and never got it back.
I'm still pained

ZoeyJ:
I made that mistake of lending out 43k and never got it back.
I'm still pained