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I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by EkoErrands: 12:01pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

As a principle, never give more than 50% of the amount a person wants to borrow from you. Never !

5 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by BLESSMME: 12:05pm On Sep 23, 2018
Please I beg you in the name of God, don't give him 700k, give him nothing above 300k. No one knows tomorrow o. Use your head my sister. 29 years is not teenage age o

11 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by iLegendd(m): 12:05pm On Sep 23, 2018
I would've given you the only advice you needed, but... lipsrsealed
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by LaDolceVida(f): 12:06pm On Sep 23, 2018
Don't do it
I repeat don't do it

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Miradamian: 12:13pm On Sep 23, 2018
Don't try it.u not get it back.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by grateful236(m): 12:18pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy,This is the best advice you can get coming from experience : what made his business crash in the first place? Ask him if he has found out ways to prevent it from happening again. Cuz the issue is not just about "will he pay me back" even if his mind is 100% made up to pay you back if the business fails again, the money is gone and both of you will be sad. Look into his business plan and try and make sure the problems he had before won't happen again and that he has a good business plan. Secondly, you have 809k and you want to give him 700k? . Do not do that. Give him 200-400k to start off with. It's a better and smarter move. Your helping someone you love and at the same time looking out wisely for yourself and your relationship. I wish both of you luck

36 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 23, 2018
700k is too much to lend a man. Give him back the 100k, tell him that's what you have.

3 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by NNAMDIII(m): 12:22pm On Sep 23, 2018
khalazi:
Don't lend him the money.
700k more than 80% of ur savings... abeg ooo.
Even the 100-200 wey pple de talk dash, make sure say na lend u lend am to am.
when she been need the guy help, him dash her 100k. So why she no go fit dash am 200k?


Nawa for you bros

5 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Les: 12:28pm On Sep 23, 2018
yazz09:
You are not obliged to lend him the exact amount he asked. Give him what you are comfortable with and tell him that's what you can part with as you still have other personal and business things that needs your funds
was about saying the same thing, I like 400k

3 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by sacramento1212: 12:30pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:


Hez hardly make promises he can't fulfill because he likes keeping his words and he has never for one day ask for money from me if not this one

If you have #7,000,000 as your NET, then you can give him #700,000. Please, only give 10% of your NET to him so that if something happens tomorrow, it won’t affect your business. #700K is huge and you must not give him that to proof you love him. Be sensible.

4 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Nobody: 12:34pm On Sep 23, 2018
donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

I swear nairaland is full of funny people. Shall him, shall us, should we, etc.
Looool.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Nobody: 12:36pm On Sep 23, 2018
I’m into Uk Clothings Business and I do wholesales. I might be able to help your boyfriend. Message me on Whatsapp +447895202949

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by khalazi: 12:36pm On Sep 23, 2018
NNAMDIII:
when she been need the guy help, him dash her 100k. So why she no go fit dash am 200k?


Nawa for you bros
Na him mother ne? .... Even 200k, some mothers no de dash am like that. Which one be say make the woman dash am 200k....

8 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by OdogwuMike(m): 12:39pm On Sep 23, 2018
I understand you clearly but unless you not a business woman as you claim, then you can try that.

I have seen a lot go wrong quickly when it comes to money, firstly, this guy is not married to you yet, and there's no sure guarantee that that money (700k) when given to him will yield the desired plan. Do not assume anything as assumption is the mother of disappointments.

I foresee your relationship ending because of this issue, cause he ll likely feel betrayed, and the relationship might turn sour.

In this instant, I suggest u lend 200k or less and remove your mind from the money cause I assure u, he ll likely not pay it back ever again.

Take it as a risk and a sacrifice you are making not just to c weda u can preserve the relationship, but also to pay him back exactly what he did for you when you had issues too.

Never, I repeat repeat, never lend any money you aren't willing to loose, that is total financial recklessness and must backfire!!

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by lovelybugs(f): 12:46pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:


Hez hardly make promises he can't fulfill because he likes keeping his words and he has never for one day ask for money from me if not this one
First of all give him not more than 300k. Tell him to manage it and see what can be done with that money after all I am sure if you had only 300k savings he'd be able to work with that.
I wouldn't advise you to give him the full money because like someone said what if the plans fails? The two of you would have nothing to fall back on.
With 300k he should be able to improve his situation even if just a little bit.

Also OP am sorry to ask but what about his life savings? Is it that he has none left? If so why?

Is he someone that is responsible financially? Or has he spent most of his savings trying to revive this business? If so what are the odds that he will succeed with the 700k he's asking for? If you give him the money will you be able to make enough profits in a weeks to stand on your feet in case of an emergency?

I wouldn't advice you to completely empty yourself. At least have 200-300k with you in case of business/family/health emergencies.

2 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by NNAMDIII(m): 12:46pm On Sep 23, 2018
khalazi:

Na him mother ne? .... Even 200k, some mothers no de dash am like that. Which one be say make the woman dash am 200k....
That one dey sha....but any woman wey help me when i need her, i no go fit forget her. Walahi na marriage straight...


They're some sacrifices you have to make for love. In olamide's voice; my brother show me love because when i hammer.....
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by FrostyButter: 12:50pm On Sep 23, 2018
SalafRider:
Well like you said he has been there for you when you needed him the most. I will advice even if you finally make up your mind to take the risk of borrowing him the money. Make it 500 biko not 700 leaving your account almost flat.... [color=#770077][/color][i][/i]

Exactly and biko, let there be a third party that you guys are comfortable with, or an agreement... Make sure the third party is from your end, not his. I tell you, people can be funny, and humans change. Lend him half of the money... If he is as responsible as he claims, he would gather resources together and make that money work. Ensure you have something you can take to court if things go south. You're a woman, and it's not easy for a woman to be dragging debt. Even if it's a recorded conversation, and keep it safely.

Yes, he might have known how much you have in your account, don't let that scare you, the man is just trying to find his feet. But don't do something that if it goes south, you can not recover from. People here telling you he went all out for you, fine, great, romantic... But remember, it wasn't his life savings and he had something to fall back on.

If I were you, I would give him half, or 400. A wise man would make something happen with that amount. Also, observe his reaction. This would tell you a lot about him. Don't pressure him, and give him all the support he needs.

4 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by NNAMDIII(m): 12:52pm On Sep 23, 2018
OdogwuMike:
I understand you clearly but unless you not a business woman as you claim, then you can try that.

I have seen a lot go wrong quickly when it comes to money, firstly, this guy is not married to you yet, and there's no sure guarantee that that money (700k) when given to him will yield the desired plan. Do not assume anything as assumption is the mother of disappointments.

I foresee your relationship ending because of this issue, cause he ll likely feel betrayed, and the relationship might turn sour.

In this instant, I suggest u lend 200k or less and remove your mind from the money cause I assure u, he ll likely not pay it back ever again.

Take it as a risk and a sacrifice you are making not just to c weda u can preserve the relationship, but also to pay him back exactly what he did for you when you had issues too.

Never, I repeat repeat, never lend any money you aren't willing to loose, that is total financial recklessness and must backfire!!
nice one sir

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by murphyrichy(m): 1:11pm On Sep 23, 2018
Talking from experience, if you try this just be fully aware that you will be answering him sir sir, I mean being loyal to the core..Don't give out what you can't forfeit...you won't notice now until you lend out the money, am sure love has covered your eyes.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by yinkeys(m): 1:12pm On Sep 23, 2018
@suzzyyy
Option 1: find a lawyer, then you guys sign court agreement
Be on the safe side o
Option 2: Don't lend what you can't forfeit

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Martinez19(m): 1:13pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:

You are too rude, this is 700k we are talking about, my life savings not that I don't wnt to help, I love him so much tht I cnt see him sad, I just want advice to know if Im doing the right thing, dassall.
Personally, I don't think your bf will turn his back on you. If he was the selfish opportunistic type, he would have begged you since. From what he has done for you in the past and how he tried to manage his business in the past on his own, I can say he is kind and responsible. However, if you feel like not giving up to 700k, don't give. Besides, business is a risk and the 700k might not yield the desired result.

Note that he would feel inevitably betrayed because he once took the risk to lend you 100k and didn't bother you with his business troubles and this would affect your relationship. Still, follow your heart.

4 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by chukzyfcbb: 1:23pm On Sep 23, 2018
You are a business woman. unmarried hanging on just hopes. now let's get down to reality.

You have just 800k+ home and abroad, if you lend him 700k and his business still doesn't revive, These are the likely followups

- Your business will go down as no new money to inject into it.
- Your relationship will suffer more as he runs from pillar to post over his finances.
- Possible quarrels over the money, that if not handled well could lead to a possible breakup.

Solution.
One good turn deserves another, Rather than part with 700k, give him say 200-300k, let him source for the rest...That way u can continue your business with the remaining funds while he also has some funds to lean on.


Don't part away with 700k because u want to bring back the love & attention. That's pure foolishness!.....

Use your head not your heart!

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Jennifer89(f): 1:23pm On Sep 23, 2018
DONT LEND YOUR BOY FRIEND THAT MONEY

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by highqueen(f): 1:29pm On Sep 23, 2018
Colourich:
700k is too much to lend a man. Give him back the 100k, tell him that's what you have.
babe, howfar? couldn't come online again like i promised,hope you are good? embarassed
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by khalazi: 1:42pm On Sep 23, 2018
NNAMDIII:
That one dey sha....but any woman wey help me when i need her, i no go fit forget her. Walahi na marriage straight...


They're some sacrifices you have to make for love. In olamide's voice; my brother show me love because when i hammer.....
Lol u just de talk fa... Guy there are every chances u may end up trearing the lady anyhow. Mind treacherous guy
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by victorian(f): 1:49pm On Sep 23, 2018
Dash him 200k

At all at all naim bad pass.

If you have only 870k, for God sakes u can't give out almost everything for a boyfriend.

200k is ok.

5 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by kellz0(m): 2:01pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.
If you trust him and feel he’s worth what he’s asking of you! Don’t give him the whole 700k cause it’s gonna affect you too, you can’t be begging after helping someone!!! Give him 500k and start managing your business small with 300k
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by laluski(m): 2:20pm On Sep 23, 2018
donstan18:
When it comes to their turn to help a man financially, they'll remember [What if, What about, Sacrifice, Risky, Should I, Shall I, Shall we, Shall should, Shall us, Shall him, Shall she, Shall shim]

He helped your business stood its ground without asking if the risk was worth doing for a girlfriend, and here you are, calculating and warring the gravity of his sacrifice and the one he's asking of you. Sacrifice is sacrifice. Do it if you want, and if you don't, then get the hell out his life.

Sex must not be the only thing you offer a man without seeking advice.

Haba my son,is it your brother she's talking about.if you don't have anything meaningful to contribute,shut up and go and do your homework

12 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by jaxxy(m): 2:23pm On Sep 23, 2018
Suzzyyy:
Hello Nairalanders! Plz help! I hv been scared and confused abt a risk I want to tk so I decided to share for advice.

Im 29 and I hv a boyfriend who is 33. We hv been happily dating for close to 3 years now, he once helped me financially in a good way with 100k when I had problem with my little business, then he was doing pretty fine with his business, I sell plastics and hez into cloth business. But somtin happened last 2 months, he had terrible problems with his business and lost almost everything including his shop and in a bid to salvage his situation he ended up owing many pple, when all these started he didn't tell me, thou hez a kind of person that likes handling his problem alone without disturbing or telling me which I don't like bcus it somehow makes me feel less important and useful to him, I got to know when he changed, his attitude, moods and everything changed, hez always disturbed, thinking and always visiting pple, he payed less concern and attention to me, don't even call and when I call, he will be in a haste to end it, I became confused, so I had to asked what was going on, he said nothing, I got upset and insisted he must tell me, he then opened up, I felt so bad and almost cried, since then I have been trying to maintain his upkeep and sometimes give him money which hez not comfortable with.

The problem now Is that im scared, he asked for a huge amount of money from me which is 700k, he wants to start all over again in his cloth business and also clear some debt, and I can only boast of 820k home and abroad as a business woman, i just feel he saw my account balance before asking for this, Im scared to loose the money and him too. I love this guy but im so scared of doing this, he helped me when I needed money, but this sacrifice is bigger than me, he showed and detailed everything he will be doing with the money, Im just confused to gamble with my life savings, I know I might sound ungrateful what if the business or our relationship crumble? Won't I be stranded and doomed? My business is not that strong and we all know how most of sacrifices like this ended for people. Is this kind of risk worth doing for a boyfriend

Plz advice me on what to do, plz.

If u have 820k home and abroad and ur bf asks for 700k knowing that’s all ur savings he must be a wicked, heartless and uttermost selfish human being, such person shud not be trusted and I also mean vice versa.

If u didn’t have wudnt he look for an alternative? It’s wrong to overburdened ur partner with ur problems. If they freely give u is a different situation bt asking stuff like this is wrong. How does he expect u to survive?

The fact he gave u 100k doesn’t guarantee he loves u either, don’t use that as a yardstick. Also verify all the claims of his business independently before u give him anything u can afford. I’m telling u based on stories out there. Cheers

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Nobody: 2:34pm On Sep 23, 2018
highqueen:

babe, howfar? couldn't come online again like i promised,hope you are good? embarassed
Happy Sunday dear, I'm fine, how you take come online now?
Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by ritylove(f): 2:36pm On Sep 23, 2018
I know this is a difficult situation for you but please


Don't make the mistake of lending your life savings to a man who is not yet your husband he is just your boyfriend your not even engaged...
This is almost all the money you got what if something goes wrong where do you start from?

If you love him assist him with what you can afford,show him support to the best of your ability but giving him all you got is a NO NO for me...

6 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend But I Am So Scared Of Lending Him 700k by Ferdinandu(m): 2:37pm On Sep 23, 2018
If you have 820k and he is asking for 710k, he is asking too much. He is not yet your husband. Don't sacrifice your happiness on the altar of unproven love and loyalty. The way you are talking it is obvious that you have not trusted him completely that he won't leave you or pay you back. Just lend him the amount you can confidently forfeit if things go sour and he fails to pay you. He is not even supposed to put in the condition of transferring his misfortune to you if he truly loves. You can help me but please consider your own peace of mind first.

2 Likes

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