₦airaland Forum

geek4k:
I Need Help! I'm Emotionally Traumatized.

Hi guys!

It's quite a long read so I've tried make it as concise as possible..

I bet you'll enjoy every piece as you thumb through.

We've known each other for some time before i asked her out. She gave a "Yes" sometime on August 2014, which has practically made the relationship 4 years old.

At the earlier stage, we had great feelings towards each other, we where literally submerged in love, did stupid and childish things together. Y'al know what love turns one into nah.

We where practicing a distance relationship. Same city, although just a 45min road trip kept us apart ~ we never denied visiting each other as we often did. thanks to 2go and what'sapp.

Time past, amidst the minor quarrels we had a greater reason to remain put, we grew stronger in love ~ i bet we had the best teenaged age. Got to a point we believed we where both destined for each other i was even prepared to tie the knot if only nature treated my pocket right.

All the while, we never had any bed intimacy only kisses and bla bla... Not until sometime 2017 when i went in. Arrghh! Very awkward i must say, just try to imagine where 2 novices are trying to make something of it. All through the session i was just looking for my way in.

The subsequent attempts after taking several xx video tutorials was fairly good NOT GREAT because she had a very bad sex beginning; a rape victim to be precise and that experience corrupted alot in her sex life. You don't want me to go into details, I hate to too.

[b]Note: [/b]She is a very brilliant girl who got great personality, more reason i loved her wholeheartedly. The not-too-great sex paragraphs isn't made to sabotage her memory but because it's a cornerstone of my ordeal with her.

Heads up guys! She started having issues with the sex experience thing. Not because it wasn't SO GREAT but because it makes her backslide from her faith. Ohh didn't i mention? She's from a very strong Christian home.

I guess the devil took its chances on us, never wondered why it took so long before her realization. Now she's trying to be that born again kind of person again. Guys! I'm sure you know what that means.

The privileges i used to enjoy as a boyfriend where all ripped away not even a kiss or bla bla to manage almost drove me into maturating. Not just that, this is also garnished with some funny acts, not having my time et all. On my end it seems she utterly turned her back against me.

The whole quarrels erupted and all made me look myself like a devil trying to deviate God's child. I on the other end I'm just a lover boy trying to fight back for his feelings.

Things deteriorated, we hardly talk and even if we do wouldn't last more than a minute, all the while i was just drowning in sadness and heartbreak.

I still remember when we broke up our sexual relationship and remained good casual friends. My mind chose to cut any connections with her but my heart said otherwise. I couldn't cut it down, the imaginations of never seeing her again dreaded me even.

Bluntly speaking. I'm very emotionally sensitive with dealings with her. My happiness depends hugely on her, hence, any unfair act she gives set my heart ablaze. that's exaggerated though, but it's just as bad as that. Every now and then I'm always emotionally traumatized and this has bad effects on me.

My Regrets?
I wouldn't blame myself much because i was inexperienced and naive when our feelings was blossoming, I let loose my 100% heart commitment and now the consequences is just as fatal.

If i had known and took precautions earlier I'd have moved on with my life by now. But unfortunately, the reverse is just the case here.

Back to the present.
I've discovered that even the casual friendship hurts me. I mean Yes! No sex, no kisses i get it! I don't just get a dedication from her, no special moments everything is just as boring AF and this disgusts me.

This is where your I need advise.
Respective of the fact I'm still emotionally attached to her, I've accepted my faith of letting her go the issue now is doing this practically. It's just too difficult for me to handle.

Beside this, i feel we might later need each others help one way or another as we're both distant learners in same institution.

The feeling of not seeing her ever again dreads me alot whilst i doubt I'm capable of moving on if i don't cut her completely of my life.

Sometimes I feel the cause of this crazy feelings is because she deflower me. I don't just know why it's this much.

[b]Note.[/b]It might sound to you that she stopped loving me or never had feelings for me. But the fact is she's too very in love with me all along even till now. Her faith is just strong and nothing can supersede it.

Insults are welcome. But first understand its usefulness her before you waste that effort.

What do you think i should do guys?

Get a life sir. All you've said here is sex sex sex. And that's why you should be dumped and forgotten. Define love and lust, then come back to us. You think you love her? Nahhhh it's just her body you want.

Forget about sex, give your life to Christ and get burn again

Idio.t, technically as a guy you never had any ''flower''.
Doesn't it feel somehow when a guy uses the term 'virgin'?
With a girl, this can easily be proven scientifically but how the hell are we going to know a virgin guy aside from what he tells us?

geek4k:
Sir. I don't think getting another girl will solve the issue. Besides, never again will i be fooled by love.

Relax, take your mind away from her for a while and focus on getting another girl.... Yes another girl.

Don't get another girl for love.. It will not work. But get another girl who likes and enjoys sex, a fwb (friend with benefits) if possible, a girl just for the fun of sex with no love attached.. just to get you over your sexual tension... It will help your balance and help you think not with your manliness.

It is not easy getting over 1st love... Many of us have been there and over... Don't break off with her just like that, it will disturb you and affect your balance. Call her and accept her condition of no sex and other intimacies. Just be a good friend to her, treat her well, call her, chat her, buy her gifts sometimes, take her out to open places, educative and church programs.. If the love is real, the bond will grow and she might even fall for sex once in a while with you agan and u might end up saying "I do" to each other... If the love is not real... It will fizzle away before you know it... You might end up not even liking her at all again..

Good luck.

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Liliyann:
I took out time to read the crap you wrote and I wasn't disappointed as usual!!!
Not even a sentence stating when you had to give her money for shopping or get gifts for her!!!
I commend the girl act of wisdom!!
How do you expect her to open up for someone that can not even take care of her financial needs??
Relationship are for real men with enough cash and not for penniless boys!!!

Coming from someone who's probably typing on a broken screen and an empty stomach.

Bros, d first is 2 determin u want let ur past exprence wt her go, becos it wil keep on comng fresh in mind. D 2nd thng, is 2 hav it in ur mind dt havng sex wt her, is lik havng it wt any oda gel no emotionaly attach. D 3rd thng is keepng urself busz nd neva stay alone. Luv is like a shadow..

to be sincere bro
nobody is a saint
from my experiences, good girls use repentance and Jesus to achieve break up when they're no longer interested
unlike bold girls that may start cheating or call it off plainly
I've never seen a pure love that would make you change your stand with what you want,i passed thru the Christian home thing too. She can withdraw sex, yes, but she also withdrew communication.
she's gone bro, move on

Liliyann:
I took out time to read the crap you wrote and I wasn't disappointed as usual!!!
Not even a sentence stating when you had to give her money for shopping or get gifts for her!!!
I commend the girl act of wisdom!!
How do you expect her to open up for someone that can not even take care of her financial needs??
Relationship are for real men with enough cash and not for penniless boys!!!

It is very obvious from your posts that you are a first class pauper. It is not our fault that your parents cannot afford to take care of you and your needs. 3 for 5 naira Cash 'n' Carry advocate. Carry on!!

I really think what you need to do Op is to get yourself occupied with other things, give yourself a spiritual goal. try to go grow in faith too, believe me, your heart will be too occupied with the things of the spirit that you won't feel depressed, or heart broken anymore, and if it's God's will you and your lady will be united in love once again. thank you

funnyteeth:
Shey man get flower we woman dey disflower?...wonderment.

So MEN now get deflowered...??
I guess these are not the REAL MEN

@op, trouble not your heart because the girl is just experiencing early conflict of convictions between her love life and her faith, and most of the time the love life always becomes victorious over their faith,so do not panic but just be yourself, try to give her that space that she need and i assure u 100%, that she will come around, i have experienced it with my ex and she always come around. By the time she begin to think of and miss the time you guys have spent together believe you me that she will come back running back to you especially now that it seem like you are her first love.

A woman deflowered you and you are a man ?, coming on NL to whine like a goat?, I now see why she left you.

Firstly, you sounded like a sissy with the 'she deflowered me...' thing...I don't know, I may be wrong but it's kinda un-manly to say that shii

Secondly, since you ve decided to attach much importance on a girl while you are still in school, I will advice you to cut her loose completely, get another girl, if she loves you like you claimed, she will come around,but u gotta be bold n cut her loose first. Don't call her, dont text, view her WhatsApp story and ignore.
And I will advice you focus more on graduating on time cos the lifeless one in conjunction with the minister of education is suggesting tertiary institution school fees is gonna start from 350k anytime soon, I don't think ASUU can stand their ground for long.


With Love.
Bro.

lalanice:
Congratulations, you are now one of those who'd lose a good thing because they couldn't wait for sex

To be honest I should say sorry about what you going through because I understand completely but I also know that even if she stays with you, it wouldn't be like before, it wouldn't be original, it will all just be an act. Only few people will understand how this works.

By few people you mean virgins like yourself huh (I know )? I'm sure you read the part he played the victim by implying that she deflowered him? If she really indulged him in the romp, then both partook in it so I can't relate with your first paragraph. He didn't lose a good thing, they just aren't sexually compatible with each other and hence her behaviour.

To your next paragraph. He didn't rape her so why wouldn't it be like before? They both had consensual sex. If there's a reason things shouldn't be as before, it should be because she didn't enjoy the sex and wants out so she resort to claiming spirituality. I don't understand how this works and yet I'm like you, a person who thinks having premarital sex come with a price. A great price.

Lalanice, I remember you.

geek4k:
Sir. I don't think getting another girl will solve the issue. Besides, never again will i be fooled by love.

that exactly what I want to hear from you that you can't be fool by love again have gone through it too I have to let go of her imagine her blocked me on fb i was like is this how much you hate me i doubt my feeling and waited for her to unblock me for 6 months and maybe she will realise her mistakes but she didn't then i unfriend her when she started showing on my fb stories that she doesn't use to view before and whenever i see her on my fb stories myself as fool that i too low myself and cheap to her they are other girls wanting me but i never for once think of them talkless of wanting them
Guy think of some else than all the girls they are insatiable you can't satisfied them
I only want my life companion not life disturbance that my wish for my future wife...
GOD BLESS US OUR NEEDS

ponti93:
Na so one babe... Tell me one time sey i made her deviate from church... Say she wan break, she don find jesus back... I say no p... I zoned her out completely... Travel out join... 3mnths later got her text... Dat she misses my touchs bla bla... Make she cme bak... I tell am say sorry oh, sey i don find jesus

On OG LEVEL

SirMichael1:
By few people you mean virgins like yourself huh (I know )? I'm sure you read the part he played the victim by implying that she deflowered him? If she really indulged him in the romp, then both partook in it so I can't relate with your first paragraph. He didn't lose a good thing, they just aren't sexually compatible with each other and hence her behaviour.

To your next paragraph. He didn't rape her so why wouldn't it be like before? They both had consensual sex. If there's a reason things shouldn't be as before, it should be because she didn't enjoy the sex and wants out so she resort to claiming spirituality. I don't understand how this works and yet I'm like you, a person who thinks having premarital sex come with a price. A great price.

Lalanice, I remember you.

right, I've tried to avoid your mention since then and this is not to say I'm willing to argue but you really don't understand how it works if you think that was consensual for a lady who initially didn't want to indulge in it . some ladies just try to act like it's Ok but this one couldn't.

just follow herand be born again

geek4k:
I Need Help! I'm Emotionally Traumatized.

Hi guys!

It's quite a long read so I've tried make it as concise as possible..

I bet you'll enjoy every piece as you thumb through.

We've known each other for some time before i asked her out. She gave a "Yes" sometime on August 2014, which has practically made the relationship 4 years old.

At the earlier stage, we had great feelings towards each other, we where literally submerged in love, did stupid and childish things together. Y'al know what love turns one into nah.

We where practicing a distance relationship. Same city, although just a 45min road trip kept us apart ~ we never denied visiting each other as we often did. thanks to 2go and what'sapp.

Time past, amidst the minor quarrels we had a greater reason to remain put, we grew stronger in love ~ i bet we had the best teenaged age. Got to a point we believed we where both destined for each other i was even prepared to tie the knot if only nature treated my pocket right.

All the while, we never had any bed intimacy only kisses and bla bla... Not until sometime 2017 when i went in. Arrghh! Very awkward i must say, just try to imagine where 2 novices are trying to make something of it. All through the session i was just looking for my way in.

The subsequent attempts after taking several xx video tutorials was fairly good NOT GREAT because she had a very bad sex beginning; a rape victim to be precise and that experience corrupted alot in her sex life. You don't want me to go into details, I hate to too.

[b]Note: [/b]She is a very brilliant girl who got great personality, more reason i loved her wholeheartedly. The not-too-great sex paragraphs isn't made to sabotage her memory but because it's a cornerstone of my ordeal with her.

Heads up guys! She started having issues with the sex experience thing. Not because it wasn't SO GREAT but because it makes her backslide from her faith. Ohh didn't i mention? She's from a very strong Christian home.

I guess the devil took its chances on us, never wondered why it took so long before her realization. Now she's trying to be that born again kind of person again. Guys! I'm sure you know what that means.

The privileges i used to enjoy as a boyfriend where all ripped away not even a kiss or bla bla to manage almost drove me into maturating. Not just that, this is also garnished with some funny acts, not having my time et all. On my end it seems she utterly turned her back against me.

The whole quarrels erupted and all made me look myself like a devil trying to deviate God's child. I on the other end I'm just a lover boy trying to fight back for his feelings.

Things deteriorated, we hardly talk and even if we do wouldn't last more than a minute, all the while i was just drowning in sadness and heartbreak.

I still remember when we broke up our sexual relationship and remained good casual friends. My mind chose to cut any connections with her but my heart said otherwise. I couldn't cut it down, the imaginations of never seeing her again dreaded me even.

Bluntly speaking. I'm very emotionally sensitive with dealings with her. My happiness depends hugely on her, hence, any unfair act she gives set my heart ablaze. that's exaggerated though, but it's just as bad as that. Every now and then I'm always emotionally traumatized and this has bad effects on me.

My Regrets?
I wouldn't blame myself much because i was inexperienced and naive when our feelings was blossoming, I let loose my 100% heart commitment and now the consequences is just as fatal.

If i had known and took precautions earlier I'd have moved on with my life by now. But unfortunately, the reverse is just the case here.

Back to the present.
I've discovered that even the casual friendship hurts me. I mean Yes! No sex, no kisses i get it! I don't just get a dedication from her, no special moments everything is just as boring AF and this disgusts me.

This is where your I need advise.
Respective of the fact I'm still emotionally attached to her, I've accepted my faith of letting her go the issue now is doing this practically. It's just too difficult for me to handle.

Beside this, i feel we might later need each others help one way or another as we're both distant learners in same institution.

The feeling of not seeing her ever again dreads me alot whilst i doubt I'm capable of moving on if i don't cut her completely of my life.

Sometimes I feel the cause of this crazy feelings is because she deflower me. I don't just know why it's this much.

[b]Note.[/b]It might sound to you that she stopped loving me or never had feelings for me. But the fact is she's too very in love with me all along even till now. Her faith is just strong and nothing can supersede it.

Insults are welcome. But first understand its usefulness her before you waste that effort.

What do you think i should do guys?

It might hurt you to know this, but the lady in question is already tired of the relationship but isn't bold enough to say it for fear of hurting you; the church thing is just a suitable excuse she's used to keep you at bay. If she's still into you, while being born again may stop her from getting intimate or physically close, it wouldn't prevent her from talking to you; infact the lack of physical touch would even push her to want to talk more out of fear of losing you over the 'lack of intimacy' thing.

It's very likely she's being distracted by another guy right now; she's not dating the other guy (yet) and may never do, but there's likely someone out there who's singing the very kind of songs she really wants to hear in her ears every day. That explains why she no longer has your time or has reduced communication with you. It's likely this new dude may also be chipping in the religious card which she wants to hear, so her inner mind is currently battling with the silly idea that the new guy is the one she divinely needs and not you who is 'carnal' and a 'bad influence'.

Once again, this might hurt, but it seems her mind is already messed up and stolen for good; you lost her already and by sticking around, you would just complicate matters for yourself. To save yourself further trauma, organise a meet up with her and thoroughly drill her till she confesses the truth about whether she's still interested in your relationship or not. Goodluck!

what's the title of this novel, I'll like to read the end because I believe someone his pocket isn't smiling can't waste his time writing this mumu thing

TarOrfeek:
Your talking like somebody that will soon buy Sniper.


Make sure you go with change. Make them no owe you for here and for there too.

LMAO

This one loud oh
Chill, you have not

In this kind of situation the only way to win her back is prove to her that you are now a Christian, you we also need to let her that you we not disturb her about sex again,this are things you need to do to win her confidence back since you said she still love you........

Take this advice it we help you alot, sex is not every she is doing the right thing by stoping it.

u need to think straight. ur thinking is beclouded

Oga do you want to just Bleep or you want to marry this girl. Abi what is traumatization because she's not sexing you. If your intention is to marry her, will she say no??

You want me to say something? av said it

geek4k:
I Need Help! I'm Emotionally Traumatized.

Hi guys!

It's quite a long read so I've tried make it as concise as possible..

I bet you'll enjoy every piece as you thumb through.

We've known each other for some time before i asked her out. She gave a "Yes" sometime on August 2014, which has practically made the relationship 4 years old.

At the earlier stage, we had great feelings towards each other, we where literally submerged in love, did stupid and childish things together. Y'al know what love turns one into nah.

We where practicing a distance relationship. Same city, although just a 45min road trip kept us apart ~ we never denied visiting each other as we often did. thanks to 2go and what'sapp.

Time past, amidst the minor quarrels we had a greater reason to remain put, we grew stronger in love ~ i bet we had the best teenaged age. Got to a point we believed we where both destined for each other i was even prepared to tie the knot if only nature treated my pocket right.

All the while, we never had any bed intimacy only kisses and bla bla... Not until sometime 2017 when i went in. Arrghh! Very awkward i must say, just try to imagine where 2 novices are trying to make something of it. All through the session i was just looking for my way in.

The subsequent attempts after taking several xx video tutorials was fairly good NOT GREAT because she had a very bad sex beginning; a rape victim to be precise and that experience corrupted alot in her sex life. You don't want me to go into details, I hate to too.

[b]Note: [/b]She is a very brilliant girl who got great personality, more reason i loved her wholeheartedly. The not-too-great sex paragraphs isn't made to sabotage her memory but because it's a cornerstone of my ordeal with her.

Heads up guys! She started having issues with the sex experience thing. Not because it wasn't SO GREAT but because it makes her backslide from her faith. Ohh didn't i mention? She's from a very strong Christian home.

I guess the devil took its chances on us, never wondered why it took so long before her realization. Now she's trying to be that born again kind of person again. Guys! I'm sure you know what that means.

The privileges i used to enjoy as a boyfriend where all ripped away not even a kiss or bla bla to manage almost drove me into maturating. Not just that, this is also garnished with some funny acts, not having my time et all. On my end it seems she utterly turned her back against me.

The whole quarrels erupted and all made me look myself like a devil trying to deviate God's child. I on the other end I'm just a lover boy trying to fight back for his feelings.

Things deteriorated, we hardly talk and even if we do wouldn't last more than a minute, all the while i was just drowning in sadness and heartbreak.

I still remember when we broke up our sexual relationship and remained good casual friends. My mind chose to cut any connections with her but my heart said otherwise. I couldn't cut it down, the imaginations of never seeing her again dreaded me even.

Bluntly speaking. I'm very emotionally sensitive with dealings with her. My happiness depends hugely on her, hence, any unfair act she gives set my heart ablaze. that's exaggerated though, but it's just as bad as that. Every now and then I'm always emotionally traumatized and this has bad effects on me.

My Regrets?
I wouldn't blame myself much because i was inexperienced and naive when our feelings was blossoming, I let loose my 100% heart commitment and now the consequences is just as fatal.

If i had known and took precautions earlier I'd have moved on with my life by now. But unfortunately, the reverse is just the case here.

Back to the present.
I've discovered that even the casual friendship hurts me. I mean Yes! No sex, no kisses i get it! I don't just get a dedication from her, no special moments everything is just as boring AF and this disgusts me.

This is where your I need advise.
Respective of the fact I'm still emotionally attached to her, I've accepted my faith of letting her go the issue now is doing this practically. It's just too difficult for me to handle.

Beside this, i feel we might later need each others help one way or another as we're both distant learners in same institution.

The feeling of not seeing her ever again dreads me alot whilst i doubt I'm capable of moving on if i don't cut her completely of my life.

Sometimes I feel the cause of this crazy feelings is because she deflower me. I don't just know why it's this much.

[b]Note.[/b]It might sound to you that she stopped loving me or never had feelings for me. But the fact is she's too very in love with me all along even till now. Her faith is just strong and nothing can supersede it.

Insults are welcome. But first understand its usefulness her before you waste that effort.

What do you think i should do guys?

Bro I have just one advice for you. Tell her to "fuc. K off"

Op,
I know the feeling,
Chances are your girl has grown up,
Someone else is in the picture, she's just trying to drop you carefully, in case it doesn't work out with the other guy.

I would say give her a break like a year or so, get caught up in something you like. This is healthy.

But if you want her back, make money while chasing her best friend.
She will come back.

Liliyann:
I took out time to read the crap you wrote and I wasn't disappointed as usual!!!
Not even a sentence stating when you had to give her money for shopping or get gifts for her!!!
I commend the girl act of wisdom!!
How do you expect her to open up for someone that can not even take care of her financial needs??
Relationship are for real men with enough cash and not for penniless boys!!!

ds1 hz a liability

iamdammie:
Firstly, you sounded like a sissy with the 'she deflowered me...' thing...I don't know, I may be wrong but it's kinda un-manly to say that shii

Secondly, since you ve decided to attach much importance on a girl while you are still in school, I will advice you to cut her loose completely, get another girl, if she loves you like you claimed, she will come around,but u gotta be bold n cut her loose first. Don't call her, dont text, view her WhatsApp story and ignore.
And I will advice you focus more on graduating on time cos the lifeless one in conjunction with the minister of education is suggesting tertiary institution school fees is gonna start from 350k anytime soon, I don't think ASUU can stand their ground for long.


With Love.
Bro.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha the ''lifeless one"

O.p shifit i wonder all this romsntic love that grace front page u would wonder who re d men dat cheat and massacre thier paterner wit cutlass ..

Hey man... I really understand you... We're in the same boat.. Fell for this girl whom i loved 10000% i loved her almost as much as i loved my mom... We started dating, everything was smooth till she made it known that I'm her greatest sin. We agreed to stop cos all i wanted was her happiness even b4 mine. Thats what love does. We stopped dating and became casual friends. We drifted to not talking cos i wanted to say so many love words to her bt can't. Cant see her as a friend cos i love her. Quit drinking and smoking when she asked me to. One day after 1yr she called, we started as frnds and now were dating though no sex till now bt i knw that's not cos she don't want it but will succumb if i really want it. I know she dont want it deep down from her heart due to one or 2 promises she has wt her God. I dont knw if I'll still let her be or have sex wt her cos i truly lov ha n wanna marry her soon. I'm back to my old ways nt going to gv up much for love cos its not a trusted feeling. Girls are good players and can pretend. Though I've not had a reason to disbelieve what she told me cos I've confirmed what she said. I've been down dere *wink*. Still don't trust her cos shes a girl n I've seen what some self acclaimed decent and God fearing girls do at the back as some even engage anal sex and keep pusssy virgin and be claiming virgin. No jokes i swr. Just be watchful. Stay arnd her bt nt close. If she truly loves u, She'll come bk. Peace