obembet:
Good evening guys, please I have a question that has been bordering my mind for some months now since I met my spouse. All though I don't really have a bad past but I don't want my guy to see me as bad girl even through he has his own. So I want your advice if Is it right to narrate my past to my partner?

I don't know about others but to me, I'll like to know your past

obembet:
Good evening guys, please I have a question that has been bordering my mind for some months now since I met my spouse. All though I don't really have a bad past but I don't want my guy to see me as bad girl even through he has his own. So I want your advice if Is it right to narrate my past to my partner?

Your question should be rephrased to:
"Is it okay for me not to know about my partner's past?"

When courting for marriage, yes.


When you are courting, tell your spouse everything about you:

1. You may not tell every detail and flings but tell him/her about your past relationships cause they may be an issue later
2. If you have ever stolen or done something evil
3. Idiosyncrasies
4. If you have a child before, tell it all
5. Your real age (even if you as a woman is older than him but reassure him of your submission and mean it)
6. Even your admirers that is still contacting you but once you are married, do away with all bfs, exes and admirers because you should and Okafor's law is constant etc

You should totally be open to your spouse. You shouldn't password your phone and each partner can use each other's phone freely, but there is an exception. For example, if your spouse is a wasteful spender, don't reveal your true financial level to him or her.

not all partners o. personally i dont give a Bleep about a girl's past. my present fiancee was a real freak. i twisted her little brain till she told me every thing she did, she told me how she was gangbanged several times. she told me how she was bleeped in cars, toilets and some public places, she told me what exactly she did, like sucking, anal etc. yes i am still gonna marry her even after knowing all that. just imagin if you get to tell that to some guys, the relationship don end be that na. no one should quote me please

SmellingAnus:
I prefer we talk about everything including the past so that I will know how best to manage the babe... Infact I can't be with someone that is scared about talking about the past... I have my past mistakes too so there is nothing wrong if we learn from them... Although not all persons can handle information about the past maturely...

Even you, if your wife told you she was once a slut. How do you handle it maturely, cos when she is held up on traffic or chatting with a man. Wont your head be suggesting things.

Everyone thinks he is matured until such delicate issues arise.

OkaNaUbe:
When courting for marriage, yes.


When you are courting, tell your spouse everything about you:

1. You may not tell every detail and flings but tell him/her about your past relationships cause they may be an issue later
2. If you have ever stolen or done something evil
3. Idiosyncrasies
4. If you have a child before, tell it all
5. Your real age (even if you as a woman is older than him but reassure him of your submission and mean it)
6. Even your admirers that is still contacting you but once you are married, do away with all bfs, exes and admirers because you should and Okafor's law is constant etc

You should totally be open to your spouse. You shouldn't password your phone and each partner can use each other's phone freely, but there is an exception. For example, if your spouse is a wasteful spender, don't reveal your true financial level to him or her.

Both the man and woman were naked and were not ashamed suggests transparency.

When you are with someone you cant be open with means you are with the wrong person.

Don’t make that mistake!

That’s like loading a rifle and handing to someone to shoot you with ... and they will shoot you .

Not everything

Love is still shacking you. Give it some time and the right approach to your unique situation will come

This shite can spoil relationship, I won't try it again. What you don't know, you can't get mad about.

I would advice you to join APC , when u do all ur sins in the past would be forgiven

Nature8:



I don't know about others but to me, I'll like to know your past

And what if she's telling you lies about the past? Do you have a lie detector to analyze her stories?

obembet:
Good evening guys, please I have a question that has been bordering my mind for some months now since I met my spouse. All though I don't really have a bad past but I don't want my guy to see me as bad girl even through he has his own. So I want your advice if Is it right to narrate my past to my partner?

say for instance one of your ex threatens to expose your nudes to the public or to your current spouse and you have never told him imagine the emotional trauma you go through trying to hide it or giving him what he wants probably money or hmmmmmmm.

but if you have already told your spouse he will be your shield,no need for u to defend yourself plus peace of mind.

Dnt tell all.


Be selective and form amnesia for some thatvas u remember u will let him know.


Most of these boys no get brain to handle those information.

Wisdom demands you keep your past to yourself.


"A word is enough for the wise"

Babe, for the love of everything good, keep your past to yourself... Truth is you can never be ABSOLUTELY honest about the past in the first place, and I'm sure he won't extend you the same courtesy because men are wildly hypocrites.

People should learn to live a life that they will not be ashamed of in the future.

This stereotype of ' everyone has a bad past' is an unfortunate assumption that is aimed at justifying some of our weaknesses and make most people go deep into avoidable errors.


Determine you will live a pure life and you will not have dirty heavy baggage in life.

Valerie47:
This shite can spoil relationship, I won't try it again. What you don't know, you can't get mad about.

It all depends. If faced with the situation that the past presents itself in the present, you should clarify and be upright with your clarifications not that you will go about narrating your past to your present partner.

obembet:
Good evening guys, please I have a question that has been bordering my mind for some months now since I met my spouse. All though I don't really have a bad past but I don't want my guy to see me as bad girl even through he has his own. So I want your advice if Is it right to narrate my past to my partner?

when I was single I decided to narrate my past to my girlfriend, unfortunately she flared up and I was pissed off. However, I think its necessary to inform your partner of your past so that he or she will be aware because if its heard from someone else it could cause more harm than good. Moreover, Salt and pepper could be added to the story which will be harmful to the relationship.

Its funny how most people want to ignore the part that has made them who they really are today. The past is important in any serious relationship. No matter how uncomfortable it might be,it is best for him/her to hear that past from you and not a third party. If its a bad past,let him know about it and tell him things have changed and explain all the effort you have put in to become a new person. Serious relationships are not built on hidden secrets and lies. Except you guys havent defined this relationship yet,then you can keep your past s much as you want to

As a man, you can but as a woman, never try it o. I'm a man, I know the outcome.

Only tell him the things you're comfortable to discuss with him. The rest is none of his business. It doesn't concern him if it happened before him. Remember that sometimes people will use what you tell them against you in the future, so choose your words wisely or just be prepared to defend yourself.

If your partner is emotionally mature. Else, don't try it. Some things a better not said.

ritmek:
if u guys trust each other I don't see a big deal there

No try am

DanDeeBoss:
I have no time to narrate my past to anyone..... Talk less of a partner

People who couldn't keep their "dis tin" inside their pant...always avoid talking about their past.

If you have better things to work on I don't think telling him ur past is okay... What will it change, why bringing it up now? Why didn't u tell him during ur courtship.
Do u remembered when he asked u to tell him about itself.... Yeah that would have been de right time to do that.
.....let de past rest joooooooo, no trouble DAT innocent soul

Expensive2000:

No try am

When you were doing "one tin" with something upandan. Cold catch you now. You dey fear to talk about past.

ClassiqKufor:
That's what kills most relationships. You live in the the present now, Forget it all and live for the future not the past

Nd what if he finds out elsewhere later?..it's better you let him/her know, if he/she really loves you, they'll stay..simple

Yes to avoid stories that touch if he or she later find out especially if it's ugly. An understanding person will be able to reason well with you and it's left for them to make their decision.

If you decide to keep it to yourself, be ready to bear to the consequences

Let everything out of the dark box mama...
For being hunt by your past is one of the few certain things in life especially if not shared with those you intend to ride the whole of your life with...

Back then in my final year I advised my friend to let her fiance know about the type of job she had before school (club girl) I forced her to do it because of the experience I already have regarding relationships with dark secrets even though I knew so well that she's now a rebranded girl...
Guess what?
The day she summoned courage to do it, her fiance in replied told her that a friend of his revealed that to him a week ago and that he was so disturbed and was already on the verge of giving up but couldn't just call things off immediately because he was still investigating how true that could be, giving that he has never lied or kept anything in the box from the girl and do not expect her to hide a thing like that from him...
And that he now has a reason to love her more perfectly...
Openness fosters trust and creates the strongest bond.
Even if you lose him in the process, you'd at least know that you have no skeleton in your cupboard.., But believe me mama, no sane man leaves a woman who doesn't hide things from him...