AmConfused:


sorry eh, don't worry. There are many fishes in a river

lol
am out of bait

AmConfused:


Hahahahah.. Naaahhh I don't agree with you. my case is totally different from yours.
you obviously don't love your girl anymore, while I still love my man.

you want to break up because you want someone new, that reason is obviously very far from mine.

I gave you the male interpreted version of your case so you see how phony is can appear.

Mcslize:


Too much love is wrong on the part of a man. Now, flash back: have you not at any time take a guy for granted just for the fact that the guy is stocking you every second, minute and hour? Have you not at any time start going for the guy that doesn't give you attention but side line the one that is confessing his love to you every minute? That's the logic.

When a guy stock a girl with so much attention, she will start misbehaving. She will get fed up and will start preferring that guy that doesn't give her attention. The best way to show a girl love is not by proclaiming it to her face. She might lose interest in that process. Humans love what they can't get easily. And that same logic works with ladies. It's not about how many years they've been dating. It is just the way ladies are wired. You don't show them too much love by constantly proclaiming it to their faces. Texting her I love you text messages and doing all kinds of things thinking those stuff will make her love you in return.

Such a guy only end up being cheated on in the end. When a guy is thinking he has the best girl in the world, she may be fantasising about another nigga that doesn't even have her time. That's the law of scarcity. When there is scarcity, demand will rise. And when there is much availability, demand will fall. Same applies to humans.

This is the same thing most guys make use of to get other girls with ease even if they are in serious relationship. A guy doesn't need to proclaim love up and down to a girl to prove his love for her. It will only make her get fed up with him and it will look boring to her. He needs to speak less rather than being all overwhelmed and intoxicated with love. Such kind of guys are easily being chested on they won't know.

Bro, you're passing wisdom, but lemme add the correct word is "stalk", not "stock"

AmConfused:


you just told me what I needed to hear.
Lil problem is that this guy is good! like really really good. he's nice, caring, hardly ever quarrels, quick to apologize and always fight to keep me in his life.
many times I've tried to let go but he go through great lengths to get me back.

please tell me, what kinda approach should I use to break up with someone like this? it's hard u know, especially as he has done nothing to offend me

I've taken some time to read through your entire thread.
I see that you are very lucky to have your type of guy. But unfortunately, you have some very little love for him. Consciously, you think you have some great love for him. But unconsciously, your love for him is very weak!
This is the very reason why you always want to leave him. Those reasons you gave are innocent.
(You can work on those reasons and get better if they were the real reasons)

"Until you love your partner consciously and unconsciously enough, you will always find a reason to leave him/her"

Now let me tell you the approach to leaving someone who loves you and doesn't hurt you as well. But while following this approach, remember that karma will follow you in return.
Yes, you will surely get into bad relationship that will stress the hell out you later if you follow this route.

This is not a threat for you not to leave your current relationship. No. It's just a reality of what will later happen to you.
You can save this post somewhere if you don't believe what I'm telling you now.

Here's the approach to finally leave him.
Open your heart and start giving real attention to other guys that are showing interest in you. Hook up with one or two of them. At this stage, your attention will be decided so you can stop calling him and start ignoring his calls.
You can now delete his contacts and pics from your phone if you have any. I can assure you that it won't be long and you will stop seeing him and the relationship will die a natural death without a single qurell

Remember that you are on a mission to break an innocent loving heart that loves and care for you, and you must do anything to accomplish your mission because you are fully determine to leaving him

reservd:

Can u send me those e-books pls?

Abeg send to me too.

princfred:
Abeg send to me too.

Hvnt gotten any response from her

CosmicJames:

I've taken some time to read through your entire thread.
I see that you are very lucky to have your type of guy. But unfortunately, you have some very little love for him. Consciously, you think you have some great love for him. But unconsciously, your love for him is very weak!
This is the very reason why you always want to leave him. Those reasons you gave are innocent.
(You can work on those reasons and get better if they were the real reasons)

"Until you love your partner consciously and unconsciously enough, you will always find a reason to leave him/her"

Now let me tell you the approach to leaving someone who loves you and doesn't hurt you as well. But while following this approach, remember that karma will follow you in return.
Yes, you will surely get into bad relationship that will stress the hell out you later.

This is not a threat for you not to leave your current relationship. No. It's just a reality of what will later happen to you.
You can save this post somewhere if you don't believe what I'm telling you now.

Here's the approach to finally leave him.
Open your heart and start giving real attention to other guys that are showing interest in you. Hook up with one or two of them. At this stage, your attention will be decided so you can stop calling him and start ignoring his calls.
You can now delete his contacts and pics from your phone if you have any. I can assure you that it won't be long and you will stop seeing him and the relationship will die a natural death without a single qurell

Remember that you are on a mission to break an innocent loving heart that loves and care for you, and you must do anything to accomplish your mission because you are fully determine to leaving him

ahn ahn.. why are u just swearing for me upandan na??
You're not right tho but let me ask you.. is fear of karma enough reason for one to remain in a relationship they're sure isn't going anywhere?

I think the only place you're right is in your stating I can work on the reasons I give for wanting a break up.

aside that, believe me when I say I love him, consciously, unconsciously, subconsciously, and otherwise.

REB3L:


Bro, you're passing wisdom, but lemme add the correct word is "stalk", not "stock"

U b spell checker n is dt d only mistake u saw? D important tin is d msg passed nt grammar written

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reservd:

It's only fair u let him go n stop wasting his time if uv resolved dt u nt feeling him

yeah I know. it's just hard to let go

AmConfused:


ahn ahn.. why are u just swearing for me upandan na??
You're not right tho but let me ask you.. is fear of karma enough reason for one to remain in a relationship they're sure isn't going anywhere?

I think the only place you're right is in your stating I can work on the reasons I give for wanting a break up.

aside that, believe me when I say I love him, consciously, unconsciously, subconsciously, and otherwise.

So y do u wanna leave such a person? And fr d relationship goin no where, was dt insinuation frm both of u or jst u

reservd:

So y do u wanna leave such a person? And fr d relationship goin no where, was dt insinuation frm both of u or jst u

for me if a relationship isn't gonna end up in marriage I don't see the point. even if we're gonna get married, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

staying in a prolonged relationship without marriage in view is hard. controlling the physical aspect of the relationship is harder. So Laslas, I think I just have to make a sacrifice and let go.. instead of causing emotional scar later

and as for the insinuation on the relationship going nowhere, I don't know about him.. he says stuff like "I'm with you for as long as you're willing to stay" or "as long as you're willing to have me". I no even know wetin e dey mean by that yarn.

[quote author=AmConfused post=75535664]

for me if a relationship isn't gonna end up in marriage I don't see the point. even if we're gonna get married, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

staying in a prolonged relationship without marriage in view is hard. controlling the physical aspect of the relationship is harder. So Laslas, I think I just have to make a sacrifice and let go.. instead of causing emotional scar later

and as for the insinuation on the relationship going nowhere, I don't know about him.. he says stuff like "I'm with you for as long as you're willing to stay" or "as long as you're willing to have me". I no even know wetin e dey mean by that yarn.
[/quote
Smile, well maybe u should hv a session with a relationship counsellor bt sha leave amicably if/wen u hv to

Mcslize:


Take it easy bro. Loving a girl too much is not good. It might make the girl take advantage of you. That's what we call mumu love. It also make you look weak to her cuz she can command you around and talk to you any how she wants.

Even if you love a girl and you really want to keep her, then reduce the love. You need to be unpredictable. But right now you are predictable. And don't be surprised when you tell her you love her and she smiles sheepishly at you or says nothing in return.

I don't like it when a guy always use that word I love her like die. You wounldn't want to know what's going on in her mind when you use that expression on a girl.

Just take it easy.

ok, boss.

CreamyBanana:


i go soon marry am. i love her like die. i never dey ok financially but i don save wella and i go marry am this year.

awwww
Im so happy for you both

its quite rare to see a guy still crazy about his girlfriend after nine years

sha don't let the love change when money comes in

generationz:

awwww Im so happy for you both
its quite rare to see a guy still crazy about his girlfriend after nine years
sha don't let the love change when money comes in

thank you

UyaiIncomparabl:
Every frigging day! The friction is just too much. We have tooooo much issues I can't deal. He's too argumentative, defensive and thinks he's better than you in all ramifications, never agrees to your opinion, Infact he knows too much. I'm like that too, and that causes too much friction. I don't want two perfectionists as partners. I'm seriously pressed. We have too many differences than similarities, and that's not too good.

But then, I think he's the most sincerest, blunt, truthful and faithful person I've ever known and will ever know in my entire life. I don't think I'll ever meet someone as sincere and true to me as he is. I think he's the best, truth be told. He's literally my best friend and supporter, but I think he deserves better, maybe not better as you may think, but someone better to accept his perfectionism and flaws too, likewise me.

I don't know what to do.

hmmm truthful and faithful na wetin me I dey find but that strong head ehn I understand where you are going

what's your personality type?

[quote author=AmConfused post=75535664]

I think I can relate with this post. I took the bull by the horn today and I am hurting so bad . We have been together for 3years and he is an amazing guy but I really don't see our relationship ending in marriage.

CreamyBanana:


ok, boss.

One love.

Just go through this. Read it up. A lady wrote

this. You may learn one or two things from the write up.

https://www.nairaland.com/4747991/7-unbelievable-things-make-lady

REB3L:


Bro, you're passing wisdom, but lemme add the correct word is "stalk", not "stock"

Thanks for the correction.

[quote author=reservd post=75535844][/quote]
lol maybe. thank you

[quote author=Chifreda post=75537473][/quote]

Eyaaa sooo sad.. I'm so sorry dear. Don't worry time heals all wounds. At least u had the courage to do what you have to.

MobiusDickius:
Sometimes. But I try to ward off such thoughts. Quarrels happen, but it is better to go through them and continue communication eventually.

better pikin.. I feel you jare.

[quote author=AmConfused post=75544092]

Thank you

UyaiIncomparabl:


It's really hard.

I love him too much, but then I think love isn't enough. What amazes me is his lack of zeal to want to change. I've done all that I can. I admit, I have a lot of freaking flaws too, we are both perfectionists and it's too bad.

Don't take the advice of people telling you to leave your relationship... Most of them are miserable in theirs, and they find it ready to dish out QUIT IT advice. Always remember that miserable people are more opinionated.

CosmicJames:

I've taken some time to read through your entire thread.
I see that you are very lucky to have your type of guy. But unfortunately, you have some very little love for him. Consciously, you think you have some great love for him. But unconsciously, your love for him is very weak!
This is the very reason why you always want to leave him. Those reasons you gave are innocent.
(You can work on those reasons and get better if they were the real reasons)

"Until you love your partner consciously and unconsciously enough, you will always find a reason to leave him/her"

Now let me tell you the approach to leaving someone who loves you and doesn't hurt you as well. But while following this approach, remember that karma will follow you in return.
Yes, you will surely get into bad relationship that will stress the hell out you later.

This is not a threat for you not to leave your current relationship. No. It's just a reality of what will later happen to you.
You can save this post somewhere if you don't believe what I'm telling you now.

Here's the approach to finally leave him.
Open your heart and start giving real attention to other guys that are showing interest in you. Hook up with one or two of them. At this stage, your attention will be decided so you can stop calling him and start ignoring his calls.
You can now delete his contacts and pics from your phone if you have any. I can assure you that it won't be long and you will stop seeing him and the relationship will die a natural death without a single qurell

Remember that you are on a mission to break an innocent loving heart that loves and care for you, and you must do anything to accomplish your mission because you are fully determine to leaving him

So correct. That is why one must wait to be really offended and have a good reason to break up before jumping ship and entering another relationship. Karma registers and remembers.

reservd:

Hvnt gotten any response from her

Ok whenever you eventually do, please notify me.

AmConfused:


ahn ahn.. why are u just swearing for me upandan na??
You're not right tho but let me ask you.. is fear of karma enough reason for one to remain in a relationship they're sure isn't going anywhere?

I think the only place you're right is in your stating I can work on the reasons I give for wanting a break up.

aside that, believe me when I say I love him, consciously, unconsciously, subconsciously, and otherwise.

You think I swear for you? Far from it! I didn't swear for you. I mean why should I? I'm only telling you realities based on the knowledge of how the universe works. Because your today and future happiness is what matters the most

This your reply revealed the main reason why you want to break up with him -- your relationship is not well defined and you are not comfortable with it. The previous reasons you gave are not the major course of your worries.

You don't need to fear karma and stay in a relationship that you think is going nowhere.
Instead, you should handle karma in such a way that you will be fine even if you break up with him or someone else.

Since you love him that much, I will assume that you are very happy and comfortable staying with him.

Now here's what you should do to be on the safe side. Stop wishing for a break up with him. (Your wish have a way of coming to pass)
Instead, Peacefully and lovingly table the matter of the destination of your relationship to him. Let him declare his real intention for the relationship.

I'm not telling you to try to force him to say anything o.
But be sure he's 100% honest with you.
You should also be 100% honest with him as well.

Now base on your agreement, you will be free to take your action without the fear of karma.

Karma have been found to always follow dishonest people, and those who deliberately hurt others without valid reasons

In summary, always do good to others. Apply the Golden Rule (do unto others as you wish them do unto you) and you will always be fine.

I wish you the best

sommyboi:


Don't take the advice of people telling you to leave your relationship... Most of them are miserable in theirs, and they find it ready to dish out QUIT IT advice. Always remember that miserable people are more opinionated.

Wise advice. Thanks. I won't leave him for anything in the world.

generationz:


hmmm truthful and faithful na wetin me I dey find but that strong head ehn I understand where you are going

what's your personality type?

The strong head no be here o.

My personality type or temperament?

IamPlato:
You're Just Like My First Girlfriend Esejina..

Hardluck. I'm not her.