₦airaland Forum

OKOATA:
I wanted to abuse you but I know that feeling when you are in love with a hoe. You are to blame for all this, You are too open minded to a woman and that's what killing you. Must you tell a woman that your work mate came visiting? Tell her to pack out to be with her new guy. She's staying in your home and you are condoning this. Bro you are a weakling I swear. You should be in control, don't beg a woman. Woman will always take advantage of you when you beg them in situations like this. Women like men that are in control. Be in control of your relationship and please what's with the I haven't cheated on her for the past 3 years. So you mean you never see girls for instamessage, stop dulling yourself Mr

Triniti:
Are you sure you have a pair down there? I mean in between your damn legs? Yes a pair of balls, do you have any? You gave a woman the key to your happiness? Now she’s gone with the key, what else would you do now? Jump into the lagoon? The type of effeminate guys we have these days parading as men is quite appalling. Grow some balls, move on with your life if she’s not ready for a relationship with you

Dipsie:
I made the mistake earlier on, been so open with her was my greatest undoing!
Thanks for your response

Generalnomercy:
BROS, YOU MAKES THE GIRL FEEL EXTREMELY IMPORTANT WHICH SHOULD NOT BE SO.


SECONDLY, THAT LADY IS THE VERY TOXIC TYPE. SHE ALWAYS BELIEVES THAT AN EYE FOR AN EYE, VERY UNFORGIVING.

IS THAT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?

AS SHE LIVES UNDER YOUR ROOF, ANY CHEATING SHE DOES WILL DEFINITELY AFFECT YOU.


LEAVE HER ALONE, FACE YOUR LIFE AND BE A BETTER PERSON FINANCIALLY AND IN OTHER ASPECTS...


THE NEW GUY WILL BARTER HER SOON AND SHE WOULD WANT TO COME BACK, BUT MAKE SURE YOU SHUT YOUR DOORS.


LET HER GOOOOOOOOO.

tosyne2much:
Anyway, I'm not really surprised about her behaviour because MOST ladies are programmed that way. Money brings out that rude, disloyal and pompous traits that have been hiding inside almost every Nigerian lady

tosyne2much:
I'm sorry to say that you're a weakling bro

A lady is staying under your roof yet she has the enfrontery to be doing this nonsense and still rubbing it on your face. Your girlfriend is flirting with men using "payback" as a lame excuse.. Who does that?

You have to man up and be strict, and you should let her abide by your rules, if she can't make she waka abeg.

Anyway, I'm not really surprised about her behaviour because MOST ladies are programmed that way. Money brings out that rude, disloyal and pompous traits that have been hiding inside almost every Nigerian lady

austyn0:
PURE!

Dipsie:
Thank you bro, I admit I've messed up too.
Money truly brings out their real behaviors, all these wasn't there when she was entirely dependent on me for her whole financing

Dipsie:
I made the mistake earlier on, been so open with her was my greatest undoing!
Thanks for your response

OKOATA:
Bro let me tell you my story, I will soon open a thread on it soon. My best friend had sex with my fiance. My point is that I threw the two fuckers out of my life like the trash they are. Once you start giving a girl the I can't do without you attitude she will take advantage of you. I haven't been in any relationship for about a year now and am so at peace with myself. That girl is manipulating you psychological and you need to get hold of yourself or you get into a nervous wreck down. You are the master of your faith and the captain of your soul. Look for a lady that will benefit your life not energy drainers.

tosyne2much:
I'm sorry to say that you're a weakling bro

A lady is staying under your roof yet she has the enfrontery to be doing this nonsense and still rubbing it on your face. Your girlfriend is flirting with men using "payback" as a lame excuse.. Who does that?

You have to man up and be strict, and you should let her abide by your rules, if she can't make she waka abeg.

Anyway, I'm not really surprised about her behaviour because MOST ladies are programmed that way. Money brings out that rude, disloyal and pompous traits that have been hiding inside almost every Nigerian lady

UyaiIncomparabl:
It's not bad that you were honest. But you see, most women cannot condone the truth, so what do you do? You give them a lie or you just keep shut! What you don't know won't kill you. Telling her about your colleague was your greatest undoing. But then, only you understands the dynamics of your relationship. Steer it to the direction you desire. Leave the hateful advices you read on here. Most of them are effeminate and nothing to write home about. They possibly are passing through your same ordeal but come online to act like a macho.

I'll always advise partners in a relationship to take note of their temperaments and tolerance levels. Your girlfriend is predominantly Melancholic. She has an unforgiving spirit and will likely always want to revenge. As much as I hate to say this, but do not always be honest with her. Filter out some truths. This will save you lots of heartaches. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be upright, in summary, continue being faithful.

As for the guy she's falling head over heels for, I think you have to give her an ultimatum to choose between you and him. For the fact she stays with you under your roof spells doom and heartache. If she still doesn't yield, for peace's sake, please let her leave. Life's not that hard. Que sera sera!

Dipsie:
Thank you so much for this, I know just what to do.

Dipsie:
Thank you bro, I admit I've messed up too.
Money truly brings out their real behaviors, all these wasn't there when she was entirely dependent on me for her whole financing

Oyindidi:
Sharrraaapp! A lady who is about to cheat or is cheating on you is your source of joy? Una weak like rubber wey don slack.

Trendytessy:
I always like your comments
Good day ma

Trendytessy:
I always like your comments
Good day ma

Margy:
OP!

I am going to write a few things for you!
First do not, I repeat do not listen to most advise you see above.. some people are broken and speak out of their brokenness! They never say anything good.

I do not believe in judging a case from one side, if only I hear her part of the story, then I'll advice accordingly!

But, from this single story of yours, why on earth will you destroy the trust you both built for 3 years in a twinkling of an eye!

First, you invited a female colleague to your house, and never deem it fit to tell the one you love forehand? You broke trust,
Secondly, you commented on a post you are available, that means you don't appreciate and value the woman you have!

No girl, no girl will take this likely, it takes time to build trust but this trust can be destroyed in seconds. You broke the trust. Now, she'll never forget!.. some thing in her will keep telling her to act fast. I am not surprise she already found someone taking her to work! Trust me, she is trying to find solace! She might not even like that dude.
I guess, this is the only time she has defaulted...
Now, you fix it. Fix what you've broken! Make your ways straight, value her and stop trying to compare her!. Tell her everything, nothing is hidden under this earth. If after 3years because a man picks her up you want to breakup with her!!! Then you are sailing on a wrong boat.

Read my lips: There is no good girl out there! Mould the one you have, stick to her.... las las..na the same anatomy all girls have and na the same werey all girls have it all depends how you press the button.

That girl loves you! Fix this

Margy:
OP!

I am going to write a few things for you!
First do not, I repeat do not listen to most advise you see above.. some people are broken and speak out of their brokenness! They never say anything good.

I do not believe in judging a case from one side, if only I hear her part of the story, then I'll advice accordingly!

But, from this single story of yours, why on earth will you destroy the trust you both built for 3 years in a twinkling of an eye!

First, you invited a female colleague to your house, and never deem it fit to tell the one you love forehand? You broke trust,
Secondly, you commented on a post you are available, that means you don't appreciate and value the woman you have!

No girl, no girl will take this likely, it takes time to build trust but this trust can be destroyed in seconds. You broke the trust. Now, she'll never forget!.. some thing in her will keep telling her to act fast. I am not surprise she already found someone taking her to work! Trust me, she is trying to find solace! She might not even like that dude.
I guess, this is the only time she has defaulted...
Now, you fix it. Fix what you've broken! Make your ways straight, value her and stop trying to compare her!. Tell her everything, nothing is hidden under this earth. If after 3years because a man picks her up you want to breakup with her!!! Then you are sailing on a wrong boat.

Read my lips: There is no good girl out there! Mould the one you have, stick to her.... las las..na the same anatomy all girls have and na the same werey all girls have it all depends how you press the button.

That girl loves you! Fix this

ImaIma1:
The idea of living together should not be encouraged.

Why did you allow a colleague that you know she isn't comfortable with visit when you were not around?

If it were the other way around, most guys would have said she slept with the guy. But as it is you...a guy, it is fine.

She obviously has trust issues especially as you have not given her prior reasons to distrust you.

Constant relation with the other guy is bound to spark up something. That's the way women are. She might not sleep with him but she will get emotionally attached.

Has she given you reasons in the past for you not to trust her now? If she hasn't and you believe you guys can still be together, you both should talk before ending things

ImaIma1:
The idea of living together should not be encouraged.

Why did you allow a colleague that you know she isn't comfortable with visit when you were not around?

If it were the other way around, most guys would have said she slept with the guy. But as it is you...a guy, it is fine.

She obviously has trust issues especially as you have not given her prior reasons to distrust you.

Constant relation with the other guy is bound to spark up something. That's the way women are. She might not sleep with him but she will get emotionally attached.

Has she given you reasons in the past for you not to trust her now? If she hasn't and you believe you guys can still be together, you both should talk before ending things

austyn0:
Great piece, very nice...

BUT....

You are making it sound like the guy is the only person to be faulted. Yes, he broke the trust and should be faulted for not telling the shawty abou the colleague that visited, no sane woman would not think negative. The second story of joking on an article isn't worth excogitating on because the same way I would be okay with my shoddie befriending other guys, provided she isn't laying with them, she too should be able to trust that I won't cheat on her.. The major problem here is, the dude mentioned he has been apologizing like he killed the one person that could save Nigeria from its damnation, yet she stood her ground and went all the way to find his substitute. A girl that is bent on revenge,,tell me sweetheart, what is left to be fixed and how is it gonna' be fixed??

islandmoon:
Op! you are a jobless weak man, convert her to bushmeat and find another girl, start drilling yourself before she return home today, immediately she step in , tell her to go and shower and move to the bedroom with her hands up facing the wall in her birthday suit. join her later and nack sense to her head! tell her she wont be going to work tomorrow because you must nack sense to her head at all cost or she pack out of your house to that Uber driver house, thank me later

Dipsie:
Hello Guys,
I had to create a new account to discuss this topic with you.
I have a lady I have dated for 3years now.

The past few months especially has been challenging.
She got a job sometime in August last year and had to move in to my apartment here in Lagos, she had just finished her master’s degree then at University of Ibadan. She stayed at my place from August until December when she quit the job.

For almost the whole of January she was at her family house at ibadan, during that period a female colleague came visiting at my place just after work that evening. I initially didn’t inform my girlfriend about it because I knew she didn’t always feel comfortable with that Lady. While the lady was around, my girlfriend called and later got to know that she came to visit that evening. I have never cheated on my girlfriend since we started dating, she was angry and all that and promised to pay me back or so because of my colleagues visit.

As fate would have it, my girlfriend got another job in Lagos again so automatically she moved in again, I apologized profusely about the other incident of my female colleague coming over and not informing her prior to the visit.
Something else happened few weeks later again, I was on Instagram one evening when I saw an old time friends comment on Bellanaija about getting a best friend to love etc. My playful self, I dropped a sarcastic message on her comment that I was available. My girlfriend was able to see my message because she one way also saw the Bellanaija post on her Instagram. Heaven almost fell, I apologized for about 6 days before she finally pretended the situation was over.
The following week she got back from work and confessed that she had an impromptu date with one of her old time toasters. I was initially pissed off then later calmed down.
But the whole game changer was this last week, while going to work she met a guy who gave her a lift to her office area. Since then they’ve been chatting late nights and he also calls her early in the morning so they arrange where to meet.
Due to my suspicions, I one way gained access to her phone while she slept and actually realized this guy has been picking her up every morning to work at our bus stop and to the extent she’s even been sending him her pictures at work. She actually lied to me she hasn’t followed the guy since the very first day he gave her a ride. She’s been lying a lot to me since this guy came into the picture.
I Challenged her last night and she couldn’t defend herself neither could she give a reason why she lied to me, she only made reference to me breaching the trust she had in me by that Instagram message and then​ my colleagues visit.
Out of anger I spoke already and told her I wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore if this was how it was going to continue. The guy already called her this morning again and she has joined him at the bus stop to go to work again.

P.S.
I have never cheated on this lady for the past 3 years we’ve dated.
I virtually gave her the key to my happiness.
She’s also been in contact with her ex which she broke up with before we started dating for the past 3 years.
Even when we used to have issues in the past, she hardly apologizes genuinely or deeply as I do.
What do you advise?
Sorry for the epistle, thanks for your advise

Dipsie:
Thank you, she going the extra mile is an issue to be worried about.
She has made mistakes too which hardly led to anything extra like this has.
Thanks for your response

MissRaine69:
Can you two kindly break up and do all of us a favour? This won’t end .
This tit for tat behaviour is what juveniles do not adults.
You are both immature if you cannot resolve your differences. You beg , she pretends, she then goes and does something to get even and nothing gets resolved .
Neither of you is emotionally intelligent enough to realise that there is no trust here. This is not a relationship if there is no trust.
She needs to move out.