NwanyiAwkaetiti:
And you threw it all away because of your ego

Calm down... Try to see things from my perspective

MissRaine69:


In 4 weeks you had analysed her character, personality traits, demeanour points of view regarding life, career and aspirations. Because if you had, you would have not been in the situation you found yourself in as you would have KNOWN the type of person you were dealing with.
4 weeks is early days of a situation that could become a relationship.

I guess ya right.

ecstasy357:


Calm down... Try to see things from my perspective

I'm sorry I can't. What do u think a relationship is about? Is that the last interview she'll get? Did you ask if she actually likes a bank job? Did you?

ecstasy357:


I guess ya right.

Of course I am ...

CosmicJames:

Unfortunately, you can't reject it directly.
You can only reject it indirectly by minding the way you treat people that come your way.

I'm not wishing you bad or saying you should stay in a wrong relationship for the sake of keeping it.
First try your best, give it some time and make sure you quit for a valid reason.

In your one of your reply, you did say you were in a relationship with the wrong person?

And now, this girl in question is also a wrong person for you.

Did you see a pattern?

What is the quarantee that your next relationship won't be worse?

Nature has a way of dealing with us based on our actions and decisions.

You will want to look back how your previous relationship ended before this one.
Look closely how this one ended.
And see if you will need to make some adjustments on your part.

I wish you all the best

That wrong relationship lasted for a year, separated me from friends and family, kept me alone to myself and I lived a stagnant life. All because I was trying to make things work

What I was driving at earlier was....should i stick to this relationship to try and prove a point?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
I'm sorry I can't. What do u think a relationship is about? Is that the last interview she'll get? Did you ask if she actually likes a bank job? Did you?

Why are you angry?

I hope you read when I said a Lady in her submitted her cv internally. She missed the test, became sad. Then I managed to talk to the HR again.

Dearie, I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're angry not because of the story I shared but because of an experience you've had.

MissRaine69:

Of course I am ...

Hmmm.... Boss lady of course I am

Ya scary sha

IFEOLUWAKRIZ:
I'm impressed with all the comments above mine. Untypical of Nairalanders. Lols

Lols... I understand though...with the obvious fact that some of them are still toddlers under 25yrs, who ordinarily are suposed to be breastfeeding under their girlfriends

ecstasy357:


Why are you angry?

I hope you read when I said a Lady in her submitted her cv internally. She missed the test, became sad. Then I managed to talk to the HR again.

Dearie, I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're angry not because of the story I shared but because of an experience you've had.

one major of the major things in relationship is tolerance


you reacted too soon, say she didn't get the job and list her current job you won't have the patience of taking care of her till she gets another job.

she is independent despite earning so little ,learn to respect that

you can't get everything in a woman , if her good out weighs the bad things she exhibits it's a good thing, you also have your shortcomings.

as someone earlier said she has a heart of gold, taking into consideration the bereaved owner of the place she works.

if you want to grow and you want her to flow within the same pace as you give her something solid to hold onto.

A month is too soon , seems you have gotten what you wanted from her already.

ecstasy357:


Why are you angry?

I hope you read when I said a Lady in her submitted her cv internally. She missed the test, became sad. Then I managed to talk to the HR again.

Dearie, I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're angry not because of the story I shared but because of an experience you've had.

The thing is You became angry over a small issue.. Don't you know you're supposed to be petting her...woman are fragile creature...At that time you were calling her, she might be going through a lot...I suggest you call her and work thungs out

ecstasy357:


Why are you angry?

I hope you read when I said a Lady in her submitted her cv internally. She missed the test, became sad. Then I managed to talk to the HR again.

Dearie, I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're angry not because of the story I shared but because of an experience you've had.

Don't psychoanalyse my quotes pls. Anyways you got ur life, do as u please.

jackals:


Lols... I understand though...with the obvious fact that some of them are still toddlers under 25yrs, who ordinarily are suposed to be breastfeeding under their girlfriends

Saw four to five comments and I was like WOW. Is this not Nairaland again what's going on with all these reasonable comments. Breastfeeding by their girlfriends? let them hear you oo

IFEOLUWAKRIZ:


Saw four to five comments and I was like WOW. Is this not Nairaland again what's going on with all these reasonable comments. Breastfeeding by their girlfriends? let them hear you oo

Lols...Was surprised too....Nairalanders are known to be temperamental and overtly insensitive....surprised with what I'm seeing tho

ecstasy357:


That wrong relationship lasted for a year, separated me from friends and family, kept me alone to myself and I lived a stagnant life. All because I was trying to make things work

What I was driving at earlier was....should i stick to this relationship to try and prove a point?

Now you've started the main reason instead of hiding behind are lack of commitment towards getting a better job. Dating a lady that cannot afford to pay church offering is quite funny, after they'll be championing a cause they don't even follow in reallity

jackals:


Lols...Was surprised too....Nairalanders are known to be temperamental and overtly insensitive....surprised with what I'm seeing tho

We pray this manifestation of sense should continue.

The problem you have is you are not patient. Leaving a partner who is unserious isn't the issue, it's a valid reason, however, you have to have tried several times to motivate her without result. You don't say a person is unserious just after one attempt and she even had a valid reason. You don't write people off at all. This same girl can become your boss tomorrow, you don't control anyone's future. Learn from your mistakes. You might just be the helper and mentor this girl needs to be the best version of herself.

IFEOLUWAKRIZ:


We pray this manifestation of sense should continue.

That'd be a total overhauling...

jackals:


That'd be a total overhauling...

including people like me

Finally let me make a comment ..

Op you are not wrong for ending it the way you did.. Wat surprises me more was her response, I was like damn it.. It stinks of (too many options to choose from) you just dodged a bullet.. Nobody tells you that sugar is sweet ...just observe very well you will see that you were actually dating yourself..



*drops mic *

You made the right decision.
I've been down this road before. it's just a huge waste of time. only go with someone that matches your drive to grow, we don't have all day to be pampering or petting an Adult.

ecstasy357:


That wrong relationship lasted for a year, separated me from friends and family, kept me alone to myself and I lived a stagnant life. All because I was trying to make things work

What I was driving at earlier was....should i stick to this relationship to try and prove a point?

The decision is yours to make.
But for me, relationship is not about proving a point. Is about being happy with peace of mind.
What you should be very concern about is character. If she has a good character, then you can work out the rest.
One of your job as her guy is to help her get better and bringing out the best in her.

If you truly love her, then you will be patient enough with her.

Looks like you want to get her back?

If you don't really love her (I think you don't really love her), then I will advise you let her be.

ecstasy357:



"From different worlds"... If meant from different states, then I'll say ya right. But if ya trying to say rich and average background, you are very wrong. I lived in a face me face you environment until after secondary school.

Who dragged me? I made choices.

I like her a lot, we are still friends. I'm gonno assist in anyway I can... But building a future doesn't seem feasible anymore

In just a month relationship you have already concluded she isn't the type that would want to grow even when she gave genuine reasons why she couldn't attend the job invite? A month is not enough to make such conclusions. From your post you ended the relationship not because she wouldn't want to grow but because she made you look unserious to the HR which got you angry.

Some people actually dosent like to be drag, they want to just sit-down and cross their legs while manner falls from heaven, life is hard already as it is so we are expected to grab every opportunity that comes up...

ecstasy357:


"From different worlds"... If meant from different states, then I'll say ya right. But if ya trying to say rich and average background, you are very wrong. I lived in a face me face you environment until after secondary school.

Who dragged me? I made choices.

I like her a lot, we are still friends. I'm gonno assist in anyway I can... But building a future doesn't seem feasible anymore

ecstasy357:
This happened just over a week ago.

On a Friday afternoon, I called my gf but she was sounding off. I asked her whats wrong... She told me she missed a job invite scheduled for that day. She didn't check her mail on time. She further explained that a lady from her church took her CV and submitted to the HR internally. She called the lady to explain to her and was not pleased with her actions. I told her not to worry that i have the HR's contact convering that region cause I used to work at that bank in that same region.

I called the HR on Monday morning and explained everything to him. He asked me to tell her to come in on Tuesday morning. I called my gf but her number was switched off. I dropped offline messages for her on WhatsApp. She tried calling me but I missed all her calls, I was busy at work. I called her and told her I'll call her when I'm home.

When I got home I called her but her voice wasn't bright. What's up? She said she can't take excuse for a day from her boss.

OK...she is a teacher at a private primary school, where her salary is very very very very small.

Her boss, the proprietress, lost somebody and has been very sad all day, so she couldn't tell.

I don't want to appear like an insensitive guy though I know very well no boss would care much if the case was reversed. But I was angry that she made me appear like someone that isn't serious to the HR, and also wasting the opportunity of a better job.

For two days we didn't talk... We chatted again on Thursday. I later called her, then she started complaining about money.... No money for airtime, no money to go to church and for offering after I asked her about church. She was asking for money just two days after refusing to go for a better offer.

The following morning I called it quits....I told her she doesn't have a plan for tomorrow. That I needed someone to grow with and she doesn't seem like someone who wants to grow in life. All she could say was, "I can't force you to date me. If I am not what you want then it's OK." That's how we ended it.

She couldn't even see the reason I gave and inquire to know why I said that.

Life is all about taking risks, to go higher you have to raise a leg and stand on a foot. She's too comfortable where she is and I want to grow.

Lemme also point out that the relationship was only a month old.

Somehow I feel I'm a little bit too harsh with that decision.

I am appalled at most of the comments on first page

Op although harsh, you've made the decision already, she is too relaxed where she is which is bad for a lady, who wouldn't want to have a boyfriend that cares about your growth and also has connections to make that happen? See her reply after you called it quits and the comments above neglected that part ooo!! She wasn't really into the relationship abeg even if its just one month, continue to be focused in what you want in a partner jare, it has nothing to do with pride.

Even men do that rubbish, u suggest a better approach to them that will bring good result, nooo, they will rather do it their way... To me u did nothing wrong.. She's complaining of brokness yet she won't try getting a better job, i dnt like people being too relaxed when given an opportunity

IFEOLUWAKRIZ:


including people like me

Lols...Obviously.

Most people on here are all angry with one thing or the other, and the best way to shed that off is on a faceless forum like this..You'd agree.

Truth is U weren't patient and I know relationships need a lot of effort but partners should be like minded.She didn't see the job as important as you did and she lacks the foresight to see the job could have been her stepping stone, you gave her everything on a platter of gold. You're looking for someone who wants to inspire and develop herself +u to ur max potential, pray u find that person or work it out with ur ex . It's her reply after u told her u were calling it off that shocked me sha...

ecstasy357:
This happened just over a week ago.

On a Friday afternoon, I called my gf but she was sounding off. I asked her whats wrong... She told me she missed a job invite scheduled for that day. She didn't check her mail on time. She further explained that a lady from her church took her CV and submitted to the HR internally. She called the lady to explain to her and was not pleased with her actions. I told her not to worry that i have the HR's contact convering that region cause I used to work at that bank in that same region.

I called the HR on Monday morning and explained everything to him. He asked me to tell her to come in on Tuesday morning. I called my gf but her number was switched off. I dropped offline messages for her on WhatsApp. She tried calling me but I missed all her calls, I was busy at work. I called her and told her I'll call her when I'm home.

When I got home I called her but her voice wasn't bright. What's up? She said she can't take excuse for a day from her boss.

OK...she is a teacher at a private primary school, where her salary is very very very very small.

Her boss, the proprietress, lost somebody and has been very sad all day, so she couldn't tell.

I don't want to appear like an insensitive guy though I know very well no boss would care much if the case was reversed. But I was angry that she made me appear like someone that isn't serious to the HR, and also wasting the opportunity of a better job.

For two days we didn't talk... We chatted again on Thursday. I later called her, then she started complaining about money.... No money for airtime, no money to go to church and for offering after I asked her about church. She was asking for money just two days after refusing to go for a better offer.

The following morning I called it quits....I told her she doesn't have a plan for tomorrow. That I needed someone to grow with and she doesn't seem like someone who wants to grow in life. All she could say was, "I can't force you to date me. If I am not what you want then it's OK." That's how we ended it.

She couldn't even see the reason I gave and inquire to know why I said that.

Life is all about taking risks, to go higher you have to raise a leg and stand on a foot. She's too comfortable where she is and I want to grow.

Lemme also point out that the relationship was only a month old.

Somehow I feel I'm a little bit too harsh with that decision.

You are on point bro. U have standards and anyone who wants to be in ur life should measure up to it. I like ur kinda person. Women hold us to certain standards, don't see any reason why we shouldn't do same.

the1streak:
Truth is U weren't patient and I know relationships need a lot of effort but partners should be like minded.She didn't see the job as important as you did and she lacks the foresight to see the job could have been her stepping stone, you gave her everything on a platter of gold. You're looking for someone who wants to inspire and develop herself +u to ur max potential, pray u find that person or work it out with ur ex . It's her reply after u told her u were calling it off that shocked me sha...

To me her reply is not shocking.
Rather, it reveals some background information about OP. Looks like she was already tired of the relationship due to OP's behaviour towards her.

Consider that she said:

"I can't force you to date me"

That sounds like there was some existing stress already.

The way op ended the relationship and how she responded says a lot that op is not telling us here.

Ending a relationship is not a problem.
But how one ended it is.

CosmicJames:

The deep inner voice within is always right most of the time.
After you ended the relationship with her in a hurry, what voice did you hear from within?
I mean what did your heart tells you?
Did you feel good about the quick action?
I guess the answer is no.

You should have given her more time.
Why didn't you see her like your sister?

When we begin to show understanding, then we will make better decisions.

The ground on which you ended the relationship is very wrong. Plus you never gave her the time to grow.
You quitted too soon. That's a sign of weakness of the winning character.

You know what?
You will most likely to face a greater challenge (problem) in your next relationship than this one.
Until you learn how to deal with problem and succeed no matter the situation

1000000 likes

ecstasy357:
This happened just over a week ago.

On a Friday afternoon, I called my gf but she was sounding off. I asked her whats wrong... She told me she missed a job invite scheduled for that day. She didn't check her mail on time. She further explained that a lady from her church took her CV and submitted to the HR internally. She called the lady to explain to her and was not pleased with her actions. I told her not to worry that i have the HR's contact convering that region cause I used to work at that bank in that same region.

I called the HR on Monday morning and explained everything to him. He asked me to tell her to come in on Tuesday morning. I called my gf but her number was switched off. I dropped offline messages for her on WhatsApp. She tried calling me but I missed all her calls, I was busy at work. I called her and told her I'll call her when I'm home.

When I got home I called her but her voice wasn't bright. What's up? She said she can't take excuse for a day from her boss.

OK...she is a teacher at a private primary school, where her salary is very very very very small.

Her boss, the proprietress, lost somebody and has been very sad all day, so she couldn't tell.

I don't want to appear like an insensitive guy though I know very well no boss would care much if the case was reversed. But I was angry that she made me appear like someone that isn't serious to the HR, and also wasting the opportunity of a better job.

For two days we didn't talk... We chatted again on Thursday. I later called her, then she started complaining about money.... No money for airtime, no money to go to church and for offering after I asked her about church. She was asking for money just two days after refusing to go for a better offer.

The following morning I called it quits....I told her she doesn't have a plan for tomorrow. That I needed someone to grow with and she doesn't seem like someone who wants to grow in life. All she could say was, "I can't force you to date me. If I am not what you want then it's OK." That's how we ended it.

She couldn't even see the reason I gave and inquire to know why I said that.

Life is all about taking risks, to go higher you have to raise a leg and stand on a foot. She's too comfortable where she is and I want to grow.

Lemme also point out that the relationship was only a month old.

Somehow I feel I'm a little bit too harsh with that decision.

After reading this twice, I can't find the reason you ended the relationship. I think you don't love her enough, I know that you are trying to make her have the best. You should work on your temper though. Understanding matters a lot in a relationship, anyway Your decision is too quick

Lol.. This is what happens when you have a business mentality while entering a relationship . 'okay let's see, If I invest for sometimes and it doesn't yield interest at a specific time, I cut it out.' Even investors give their shares and bonds lots of time.

Truth is op, you are kind of desperate. You are probably running out of time, or emotions that you cut out unfruitful relations as soon as you define them. Your time range is crazy though. . Well I can't really say you did bad, your mistake was calling or assuming a 4 weeks acquittance a relationship. The problem with relationships these days is that they happen too fast. Barely four weeks of meeting a lady( a stranger) she's already your girl? seriously? So now that you have realized you aren't compatible, she's now what? your ex oh Lord! just like that. Something you could have known through friendship.

That girl get sense pass you.How? Her response.
While you are busy forming the boss in the 'RELATIONSHIP' She was observing you.Do you know if she had her own doubts about you? Do you even know her? All you care about are 'Plans' like some Onitsha clothe seller. . Dude its best you take several steps backward, heal from your past relationship, see people differently and then you can try being in a relationship again.


See him forming Macho like say relationship nah battlefield. God saved that girl o.