| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Sierusvirus(m): 8:28pm On Apr 20, 2019 |
Boss13:
I have read about some many sad tales on Nairaland about marriages and I have seen similar pitfalls. Please note that my post is from a man’s view and does not aim to bring down women. I am also posting this because many young men do not get solid advice on how to pick their partners.
It is only when you get married that you begin to understand marriage. However, young men, if you adhere to some of the advices below, you will avoid some marital pitfalls and approach marriage from a logical point of view.
No 1 - Never marry for love. Love should never be the underlying factor to marry a woman. Why - marriage is a long term commitment for the foreseeable future. Love is an emotional situation and just like every other emotions, love comes and goes. There would be days and even months, that your partner irritates and disgust you. If love is the main reason you marry, young man, you would be heading for the divorce court.
No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.
No 3 - Assess and conduct proper due diligence on your future in-laws. Know your in-laws properly. Know their source of livelihood. Ensure your future in-laws are doing financially well as well as the siblings of your future wife. You will not enjoy your marriage when excessive financial burdens fall on you. Except you are excessively wealthy, which I doubt as a young man starting off life, and you have a big heart as well as a big house, don’t marry a woman where you cannot verify her family income.
No 4 - Don’t marry a lady from a broken home. Many women will paint a story of not leaving their marriage because they are from a broken home. However, please note these women do not have the knowledge, opportunity or privilege to be in a stable household. Many of them did not see their mothers adore and respect their fathers. Many only get to hear about negative information of their fathers. These are the first set of women to leave their marriage when things take a downward spin. If you want to have an idea of how your wife would treat you, look at how her mother behaves or treat her father and if the father is not around, this is a huge risk.
No 5 - Never marry for beauty. I don’t need to explain this so much. Beauty fades as one age and even if it doesn’t, beauty becomes inconsequential during marriage. Behavioral attitude matters a lot. At some point, your wife’s beauty becomes non existent and you begin to see her as an individual and not because she is beautiful.
No 6 - Assess your future wife’s friends and those who influence her. Women are largely insecure. Many rely on the advices of their friends, family, or spiritual leaders to make decisions. You have to assess the character of the person who has a major influence on your future wife. You have no choice on this because this individual would be running your home from his/her own location. If the individual is of no good and your future wife cannot cut ties, don’t marry such a woman. If the individual is of good standing, befriend such individual.
No 7 - Polygamous home - if the father of your future wife do not have a strong influence over his large family, run away.
No 8 - Never marry for food or sex. These are things a man with good income can easily get. Don’t let this form an opinion for selecting a wife. As you age, your sex drive dwindles down. Also, you get preoccupied with other more important things. For food, we can all agreed many of us eat out either due to the job or recreational purposes. Furthermore, food and sex do not define a man. If this is why you want to get married, think again.
No 9 - Never marry an illiterate, semi-educated or poorly educated woman. This is actually because of your kids. Women play a pivotal role for the early development of kids. An educated smart woman would raise smart kids. OP, you are so on point. 1 Like |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by iLegendd(m): 10:17pm On Apr 20, 2019 |
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.
As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.
As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.
My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.
Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.
Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.
Why did I say so?
It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.
One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.
I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.
On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.
I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.
Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."
The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.
Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.
In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.
A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.
Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.
A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.
In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.
I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."
That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.
Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.
The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.
Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.
I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.
They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.
When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.
My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.
When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.
When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.
Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.
Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.
For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?
If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.
You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.
So, be a real man and be the king. 24 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 10:29pm On Apr 20, 2019 |
At the Chief above - enjoy your Bachelorhood days for when you marry they become sweet memories.
A woman who wants a man who accept nonsense till she succeed. Immediately she gets married, power dynamics changes. Women are not stupid. In fact, women are smarter than men. I stand to be corrected on this.
Once a man gets married and have kids, his responsibility changes. A man who acts single while married is an irresponsible man. Your focus changes, your family becomes your priority. You begin to think of how to increase family income. Though you would love to club or engage in so many social activities and vices. However, when you remember house rent/mortgage, bills, school fees, food for the kids - your priorities changes.
It is at this moment, your wife begins her power play. She is finally married, and with kids. I don’t know how to explain fatherhood. Words cannot explain it. It’s best being experienced. That moment you hold your child in your arms, or the voice of the child calling you daddy. It can melt the strongest of all men. Women know this and can use the children as bait.
High Chief, adhere to those rules so that you can enjoy your marriage. I greet you. 41 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 10:34pm On Apr 20, 2019 |
lawrykings:
I shouldn't marry for love... Hmmm. I am really not getting this one OP Love is important but the least of them all. If you focus more on love, your marriage will not succeed. Love is like a drunk who gets high on alcoholic beverages and once he is sober realizes he has made a mistake. At least you have seen the lady. You like her. Then begin to apply the rules to see where she fits. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Tony142: 11:37pm On Apr 20, 2019 |
iLegendd:
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.
As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.
As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.
My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.
Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.
Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.
Why did I say so?
It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.
One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.
I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.
On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.
I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.
Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."
The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.
Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.
In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.
A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.
Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.
A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.
In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.
I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."
That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.
Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.
The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.
Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.
I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.
They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.
When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.
My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.
When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.
When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.
Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.
Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.
For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?
If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.
You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.
So, be a real man and be the king.
I too like this boss, sir I will like to be like u when I grow up  6 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Basilona(m): 4:36am On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
At the Chief above - enjoy your Bachelorhood days for when you marry they become sweet memories.
A woman who wants a man who accept nonsense till she succeed. Immediately she gets married, power dynamics changes. Women are not stupid. In fact, women are smarter than men. I stand to be corrected on this.
Once a man gets married and have kids, his responsibility changes. A man who acts single while married is an irresponsible man. Your focus changes, your family becomes your priority. You begin to think of how to increase family income. Though you would love to club or engage in so many social activities and vices. However, when you remember house rent/mortgage, bills, school fees, food for the kids - your priorities changes.
It is at this moment, your wife begins her power play. She is finally married, and with kids. I don’t know how to explain fatherhood. Words cannot explain it. It’s best being experienced. That moment you hold your child in your arms, or the voice of the child calling you daddy. It can melt the strongest of all men. Women know this and can use the children as bait.
High Chief, adhere to those rules so that you can enjoy your marriage. I greet you. Exactly o....@iLegend. Do not be dismissive of the OP's nuggets ooo. Na experience dey talk here oo. Marriage experience and dating experience no be same. A Woman pre-marriage and post-marriage can be 2 different beasts if she chooses (operative word being CHOOSES). Even the best of Alpha-maleš have ended up losing their lives to the wrong women oo. It's almost impossible to change another save the changee takes a conscious effort to be changed. And even then you'll also need some help from a higher power cos it's established that Humans are deathly resistant to change Be guided Sir 11 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by lawrykings(m): 10:16am On Apr 21, 2019 |
iLegendd:
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.
As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.
As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.
My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.
Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.
Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.
Why did I say so?
It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.
One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.
I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.
On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.
I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.
Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."
The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.
Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.
In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.
A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.
Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.
A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.
In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.
I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."
That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.
Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.
The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.
Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.
I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.
They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.
When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.
My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.
When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.
When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.
Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.
Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.
For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?
If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.
You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.
So, be a real man and be the king.
My boss never stop educating me... I am turning to a beast gradually. 3 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Biglittlelois(f): 10:40am On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
I have read about some many sad tales on Nairaland about marriages and I have seen similar pitfalls. Please note that my post is from a man’s view and does not aim to bring down women. I am also posting this because many young men do not get solid advice on how to pick their partners.
It is only when you get married that you begin to understand marriage. However, young men, if you adhere to some of the advices below, you will avoid some marital pitfalls and approach marriage from a logical point of view.
No 1 - Never marry for love. Love should never be the underlying factor to marry a woman. Why - marriage is a long term commitment for the foreseeable future. Love is an emotional situation and just like every other emotions, love comes and goes. There would be days and even months, that your partner irritates and disgust you. If love is the main reason you marry, young man, you would be heading for the divorce court.
No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.
No 3 - Assess and conduct proper due diligence on your future in-laws. Know your in-laws properly. Know their source of livelihood. Ensure your future in-laws are doing financially well as well as the siblings of your future wife. You will not enjoy your marriage when excessive financial burdens fall on you. Except you are excessively wealthy, which I doubt as a young man starting off life, and you have a big heart as well as a big house, don’t marry a woman where you cannot verify her family income.
No 4 - Don’t marry a lady from a broken home. Many women will paint a story of not leaving their marriage because they are from a broken home. However, please note these women do not have the knowledge, opportunity or privilege to be in a stable household. Many of them did not see their mothers adore and respect their fathers. Many only get to hear about negative information of their fathers. These are the first set of women to leave their marriage when things take a downward spin. If you want to have an idea of how your wife would treat you, look at how her mother behaves or treat her father and if the father is not around, this is a huge risk.
No 5 - Never marry for beauty. I don’t need to explain this so much. Beauty fades as one age and even if it doesn’t, beauty becomes inconsequential during marriage. Behavioral attitude matters a lot. At some point, your wife’s beauty becomes non existent and you begin to see her as an individual and not because she is beautiful.
No 6 - Assess your future wife’s friends and those who influence her. Women are largely insecure. Many rely on the advices of their friends, family, or spiritual leaders to make decisions. You have to assess the character of the person who has a major influence on your future wife. You have no choice on this because this individual would be running your home from his/her own location. If the individual is of no good and your future wife cannot cut ties, don’t marry such a woman. If the individual is of good standing, befriend such individual.
No 7 - Polygamous home - if the father of your future wife do not have a strong influence over his large family, run away.
No 8 - Never marry for food or sex. These are things a man with good income can easily get. Don’t let this form an opinion for selecting a wife. As you age, your sex drive dwindles down. Also, you get preoccupied with other more important things. For food, we can all agreed many of us eat out either due to the job or recreational purposes. Furthermore, food and sex do not define a man. If this is why you want to get married, think again.
No 9 - Never marry an illiterate, semi-educated or poorly educated woman. This is actually because of your kids. Women play a pivotal role for the early development of kids. An educated smart woman would raise smart kids. 100% accurate. Happy Easter everyone  2 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Biglittlelois(f): 10:54am On Apr 21, 2019 |
iLegendd:
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.
As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.
As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.
My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.
Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.
Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.
Why did I say so?
It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.
One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.
I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.
On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.
I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.
Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."
The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.
Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.
In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.
A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.
Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.
A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.
In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.
I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."
That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.
Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.
The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.
Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.
I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.
They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.
When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.
My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.
When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.
When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.
Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.
Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.
For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?
If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.
You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.
So, be a real man and be the king.
You are a psycho, the reason why you were a psycho to that lady was cos you were not attracted or in love with her, and she, having a depressingly extreme low self esteem chose to believe otherwise, do not justify your silly drama as being a real man, you were only playing a mind game to yourself, like a kid bored with life, a real man will concentrate on his career and also be available for his lover, not scheming for unnecessary child's play. 24 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Biglittlelois(f): 11:00am On Apr 21, 2019 |
lawrykings:
My boss never stop educating me... I am turning to a beast gradually. A beast at your own detriment, until the right woman slips right past you, be guided in your doings, enough said. 2 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Nobody: 11:09am On Apr 21, 2019 |
.. |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 12:39pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Basilona:
Exactly o....@iLegend. Do not be dismissive of the OP's nuggets ooo. Na experience dey talk here oo. Marriage experience and dating experience no be same. A Woman pre-marriage and post-marriage can be 2 different beasts if she chooses (operative word being CHOOSES). Even the best of Alpha-maleš have ended up losing their lives to the wrong women oo.
It's almost impossible to change another save the changee takes a conscious effort to be changed. And even then you'll also need some help from a higher power cos it's established that Humans are deathly resistant to change
Be guided Sir Well allow him to enjoy his youth so that he can recount them as memories. However, if he takes this same attitude into marriage, it will not end well. A woman would tolerate all nonsense prior to marriage, but after marriage, you would see her true color. She is officially and legally married. Before you kick her out, you would perform rites and also go to court. Divorce is not an easy thing. Forget what people say. During divorce, your entire affair is out in the public. Kids soften a man’s heart. In all sincerity, forget the Facebook and WhatsApp pictures, many men still stick to their marriages because of the kids. Women too, but I’m speaking from a man’s point of view. When a marriage breaks down, the shame is on both parties regardless of who decided to push the separation agenda. A man who is divorced is still referred to as a useless man amongst his peers and strangers. Hence, it is necessary to avoid these pitfalls and pick a woman you know is a gem and treat her like a gem because women within the category I mention would majority of the time mess you up. 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by XklusivGistBlog(m): 1:31pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Rubbish Post  You don't know the meaning of Love. Its not a feeling. Love is Living. 2 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by lawrykings(m): 3:15pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Biglittlelois:
A beast at your own detriment, until the right woman slips right past you, be guided in your doings, enough said. Slips? She can't sleep jare! When we will be doing it all night? |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Estherosev2(f): 3:49pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
op is like don't marry for love, don't marry for this, don't marry for dat... what are we supposed to marry for then? 3 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 3:50pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Estherosev2:
op is like don't marry for love, don't marry for this, don't marry for dat... what are we supposed to marry for then? The advice was not for you. It’s for young men. Are you a man? 11 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 3:55pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
XklusivGistBlog:
Rubbish Post
You don't know the meaning of Love.
Its not a feeling. Love is Living. Thanks for your opinion. I’m very well versed in love due to age and experience. I can tell you all about it and the fantasies. What I have said is the reality. Don’t marry only for love. If you do, then be ready for rough consequences. Why - It would hurt you to your soul when the person you love call you disgusting names. - It would hurt you to your bones when the person you love ignores you. - Men who are so passionately in love with their partners do not end up well. They are the first to commit crime out of passion. Those who are married understand what I’m saying. You can choose to ignore the advice. However, when you do marry, you will see the pitfalls before your eyes. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by XklusivGistBlog(m): 4:16pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Hope your mum has her PhD.
Idiot post...
And to think you can find all these your qualities in one woman is foolhardy 1 Like |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 4:22pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
XklusivGistBlog:
Hope your mum has her PhD.
Idiot post...
And to think you can find all these your qualities in one woman is foolhardy Please note that first, I’m not your age mate. Second, to involve my late mom into this, depicts your upbringing. You can critique without being ridiculous. To answer your question, yes you can find women who don’t fall into these categories. I will tell you a story for free. I was deeply in love with a lady and was considering spending the rest of my life with her. However, she was from a broken home. The father was never in her life. The mom was out of the country and only sent money for upkeeps. She was brought up by relatives. She graduated school, but I noticed some form of unserious behavior. I got her a job and also tried to motivate her. Recall I said I was deeply in love with her. Logically I knew marrying this woman would cause me future pain, but I was in love and didn’t want to lose her. I assessed her family structure and financial well-being and it was not healthy in all ramifications. She wanted me to introduce her to my parents, but I couldn’t and then the problems started. She decided to get involved with someone else and told me she wasn’t interested anymore. I was deeply hurt. Guess what - her marriage is in bad shape. The guy she left me for married her and I would have been that man. Both her and the husband are terribly unhappy and are considering divorce. I am not mocking her - Hell No, but I am highlighting that if I had followed my heart, I would be miserable and may have divorced her. Love is not enough for marriage - Young man. 18 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by XklusivGistBlog(m): 4:26pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
Please note that first, I’m not your age mate. Second, to involve my late mom into this, depicts your upbringing.
You can critique without being ridiculous. To answer your question, yes you can find women who don’t fall into these categories. I retract my statement bro. Sorry about that. But I think you are talking base on ur own personal experience. Honestly, I have seen marriages blossom without these rules. I 2 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 4:36pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
XklusivGistBlog:
I retract my statement bro. Sorry about that.
But I think you are talking base on ur own personal experience. Honestly, I have seen marriages blossom without these rules. I Laughs - you see the shades of happiness that wants to be shown. What I wrote here is what elderly ones don’t tell or don’t know how to tell younger ones. 11 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by sacramento1212: 4:41pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
Please note that first, I’m not your age mate. Second, to involve my late mom into this, depicts your upbringing.
You can critique without being ridiculous. To answer your question, yes you can find women who don’t fall into these categories.
I will tell you a story for free. I was deeply in love with a lady and was considering spending the rest of my life with her. However, she was from a broken home. The father was never in her life. The mom was out of the country and only sent money for upkeeps. She was brought up by relatives. She graduated school, but I noticed some form of unserious behavior. I got her a job and also tried to motivate her.
Recall I said I was deeply in love with her. Logically I knew marrying this woman would cause me future pain, but I was in love and didn’t want to lose her. I assessed her family structure and financial well-being and it was not healthy in all ramifications. She wanted me to introduce her to my parents, but I couldn’t and then the problems started. She decided to get involved with someone else and told me she wasn’t interested anymore. I was deeply hurt.
Guess what - her marriage is in bad shape. The guy she left me for married her and I would have been that man. Both her and the husband are terribly unhappy and are considering divorce. I am not mocking her - Hell No, but I am highlighting that if I had followed my heart, I would be miserable and may have divorced her.
Love is not enough for marriage - Young man. There will always be an inner voice if you listen pointing out the red flags but lucky you that it never progressed to marriage. You have itemized very valid points and i agree with you. Though some may narrowly pull through if they make that mistake but it's usually a very slim margin. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 5:00pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
sacramento1212:
There will always be an inner voice if you listen pointing out the red flags but lucky you that it never progressed to marriage.
You have itemized very valid points and i agree with you. Though some may narrowly pull through if they make that mistake but it's usually a very slim margin. Yes - the moment you spot the red flags, quietly remove yourself from the equation before you complicate matters. These advice is the same I would give my son when he is of marriageable age. I still read threads on Nairaland involving young men who are about to mortgage their future. Avoid these pitfalls 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by sacramento1212: 5:11pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
Yes - the moment you spot the red flags, quietly remove yourself from the equation before you complicate matters. These advice is the same I would give my son when he is of marriageable age. I still read threads on Nairaland involving young men who are about to mortgage their future. Avoid these pitfalls And the Red flags are better spotted before any form of involvement not after entering into a swamp. So it's better one have an open mind over all these things so that if a particular individual of interest doesn't check out, one can easily withdraw. Also not neglecting the aspect of Spirituality which is also very very important. CC: lalasticlala |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 5:23pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
sacramento1212:
And the Red flags are better spotted before any form of involvement not after entering into a swamp. So it's better one have an open mind over all these things so that if a particular individual of interest doesn't check out, one can easily withdraw.
Also not neglecting the aspect of Spirituality which is also very very important.
CC: lalasticlala Yes you cannot ignore spirituality, but again I cannot delve into that aspect as I am not adept on it. |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by sacramento1212: 5:27pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
Yes you cannot ignore spirituality, but again I cannot delve into that aspect as I am not adept on it. I can understand. To me, spirituality comes first before other valid essentials. Your points once again are very valid. |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Limitless72(m): 5:37pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Boss13:
You would be unable to discipline that child. Because of the protective nature of mothers, the woman would be the first person to remind you that you are not the father of the child.
The child will grow to become a teenager and remind you that you are not his/her father.
The woman will be wary of you if the child is a girl because she maybe afraid you may sexually assault the child. Imagine your wife having such thought because you are only offering fatherly love.
Bro - forget single mothers I know what I’m saying and I know many men suffering this because dem no hear word. I recognize when mature men are talking.. Bro you saying the goddamn truth... 2 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Nobody: 5:50pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
iLegendd:
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.
As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.
As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.
My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.
Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.
Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.
Why did I say so?
It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.
One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.
I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.
On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.
I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.
Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."
The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.
Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.
In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.
A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.
Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.
A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.
In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.
I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."
That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.
Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.
The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.
Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.
I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.
They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.
When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.
My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.
When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.
When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.
Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.
Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.
For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?
If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.
You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.
So, be a real man and be the king.
Utter waste of who you truly are if you decide to be someone else. Just be yourself but open your eyes. There are far more important things in life than trying to be who you are not. Many of the world's leaders in terms of ideas are betas. The only place where your "alpharism" works is on women. What is the aim then of a so called Real man who fuxks say 1000 hoes? There are far more grounding discoveries and achievements than being a real man. There's no medal nor award for being a REAL man/ alpha male. My honest advice, just better yourself to achieve all your dreams and leave your mark in this world. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by Boss13: 5:56pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Thiwalade:
Utter waste of who you truly are if you decide to be someone else. Just be yourself but open your eyes. There are far more important things in life than trying to be who you are not.
Many of the world's leaders in terms of ideas are betas. The only place where your "alpharism" works is on women. What is the aim then of a so called Real man who fuxks say 1000 hoes? There are far more grounding discoveries and achievements than being a real man. There's no medal nor award for being a REAL man/ alpha male. My honest advice, just better yourself to achieve all your dreams and leave your mark in this world. Very well said. A real man chases and accomplishes his dreams. I didn’t want to tell him that because I believe he is still a boy who would grow up. Sleeping with multiple women is not an accomplishment. It’s a total waste of time and money. Bragging about sleeping with numerous women is plain stupidity. 16 Likes |
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by myself13: 6:13pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
catwalq:
Pragmatically valid points but everything you listed above is like playing on Defence..
No matter how careful one is,life still finds a way to tease you. |
|
| Re: Men & Marriage - How To Pick Your Wife! by iLegendd(m): 6:51pm On Apr 21, 2019 |
Thiwalade:
Utter waste of who you truly are if you decide to be someone else. Just be yourself but open your eyes. There are far more important things in life than trying to be who you are not.
Many of the world's leaders in terms of ideas are betas. The only place where your "alpharism" works is on women. What is the aim then of a so called Real man who fuxks say 1000 hoes? There are far more grounding discoveries and achievements than being a real man. There's no medal nor award for being a REAL man/ alpha male. My honest advice, just better yourself to achieve all your dreams and leave your mark in this world. Nice. Keep it up. 2 Likes |
