₦airaland Forum

Why do I have a feeling that this is fiction?

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

Suicide is not the way out of this. You said the truth and your conscience is cleared of guilt.
You have inner peace of confessing the wrong you did. Your husband's decision is irrational. God knows your heart and He alone will make your husband reason rationally and forgive you. Learn not to rely on man and suicide is definitely not a way out rather it will cause pain to your kids, family and friends. Pray and hope your husband change his mind. If he is without sin let his conscience be the judge. Remember the story in the bible of the woman caught in adultery, nobody was bold enough to cast the first stone
Be happy #saynotosuicide

nairalee:
Suicide? That'll be extreme. I wish I could have a platform to discuss with u more extensively.

Look I want u to calm down. Your situation is not the worst possible thing that could have happened. Ure only human. We all make mistakes. Let's not even call urs a mistake. Let's say it was a yearning that landed you in trouble.

But I want u to understand that it's not the end of the road. There's nothing that time cannot heal.

1) Your husband may forgive u (my instincts tell me this would happen but it'll take time) however the sweetness of your marriage may not be restored fully due to your mind.

2) Point 1 above would possibly occur if you involve both families to intervene. But the man may grudgingly accept u back which u may not like


3) Even If he doesn't come back to u, life goes on. Some women become widows at younger ages than u and it was the end of their lives. So why should yours be?

4) If he doesn't come back you may find love somewhere else. Love that may even supersede this

U just have to be open minded.

THERE'S NOTHING THAT TIME CANNOT HEAL

Wish I could talk to u more but stop beating yourself. You'll be just fine

Word!!!

Beckham14:
When you were spreading your legs like blue band you never thought of the love you had for that innocent man who put a roof over your head, you never thought of the "marriage" you wish to protect, Now you have lost the trust your parents had for you, and might as well lose the love of your kids when your "ex" husband tells them how promiscuous their mother is and how adventurous she can be with the dick in an hotel room.
Some mistakes are avoidable and you don't have any excuse to give for this silly mistake you brought upon yourself.
May God bless that your "ex" husband for handling that heart shattering news with such calmness, not all men can wait till you finish your sexcapdes without registering some thunderous blows on your face.
The m0ron who fuucked you like a cheap slut has dump you like a piece of trash.
Before you think of killing yourself by yourself, take those innocent children to your parents. I won't stop you from doing what you feel best for you, After all, you didn't seek for our opinions when you wanted to collect the dick.
Put yourself together and accept your fate.
Rest well.

Best advice ever!!! Thank you very much

higgs:
Why do I have a feeling that this is fiction?

Don't take every story as a joke people are committing suicide at an alarming rate.

Let me tell you ladies on this thread, it is not by force to accept a cheating wife back.

I believe the man reacted the best way he could. He didn’t kill her. He hasn’t even told her parents yet. He wants his divorce and he is entitled to it.

There is a big doubt now that he is the biological father of her children. Let her go and continue collecting preek from young virile men since that’s her mission in life. She even had the effrontery to enjoy the affair. Chai! I’m angry.

Make she carry her market go abeg.

And please do not take your life.... I beg you, that is pure wickedness, think of the pain u will cause ur kids, your parents, family, even ur husband...
TRUST ME ALL THESE WILL PASS JUST LIKE A BAD DAY, IT ISN'T FOREVER...

kunleweb:
If the story isn't a fake, if its real we three can form a WhatsApp group and team up on steps to take to reconcile both. There's life left in this situation. It's too. Minor to end a marriage however big it is in the eyes of people.

Please keep me posted

Mac2016:
Babe, suicide shd be the last resolve
Am just trying to help save a soul

By dating her?
Did you read what you posted?

RiyadhGoddess:
Please keep me posted

Okay madam

You said you love your husband and you could go behind him and cheat. What could have made you to sleep with another man when you are married and you love him? Madam carry your load and live with it. If you commit suicide, you are on your own

[quote author=Marbella003 post=78299813][/quote]Your husband is hurt and is reacting justifiably. Your actions brought this on, I know it's hard but forget yourself for a bit and think of your husband. Put yourself in his shoes, you'd probably react similarly.

I advise you weather the storm, be strong, penitent and don't push your husband to forgive you too much. Allow him to vent, time will do more than your apologies can do. Give him space to heal. He may go today and return tomorrow, have faith. Know whatever you suffer is deserved

Please don't hurt yourself, you're not the first to sin and you won't be the last. Stay strong and have faith, people judging you here have done the same or will do worse.

Don't hurt yourself, bear your shame, gain strength and be better. Contact me, if you need to talk I will listen and won't judge.

Please stay strong.

kunleweb:
Okay madam

Thanks

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

I don’t understand u madam , no man accepts a wife that opened her legs for another man to dive in.
U would have forgiven urself and kept it as a secret from him.

rafhell:
Something tells me the OP is a big liar.
Let us read between the lines. You put out your post 11 days ago asking for advice. In eleven days, all these drama had played out.
You even got a 2 bedroom accommodation close to your work place and you already moved in with the kids.
Madam or whoever you are, not everybody on nairaland is daft.

Nice storyline BTW

I don't know if she's saying the whole truth or not. But like you pointed, I perceived,instinct wise, some fouls here. She's not saying it all. And I'm thinking she came online to seek advice the first time when the husband already had his suspicion and she was looking for a rendezvous and some "welcome-good-child" advise.

However, poster, a lot can go hay wire and wrong within 2 days in life and in marriage...

;DI'm sorry for anyone that believes this��....

He wants a divorce cos he knew deep down that if things align perfectly you will still cheat. Find another man and move on you are still young.

powerkey:
Be Strong.

it's better the way you confessed to him.

Yes, it's also better you pay the price of your sin now.

You are free now in the sense that you have confessed and therefore the burden is now on him.

However, you need to make efforts to reconcile. use your pastor (not the type that will take advantage of your situation).

Use your brother, any good family member will do.


And finally, Separate [i]yourself from that useless gu[/i]y/man in your office that took advantage of you.

Hate him with all the strength in you....


I will follow up on you and I assure you that your husband will return.

nobody took the advantage guy she enjoyed every penetration

Pro 28:13 “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”

James 5:16 “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed”

fertilewomb:
Well move on. It's not the end of life. Adultery is the only stated reason for divorce according to the bible.

Is not every sin you confess to people. Bible said Confess your sin to God and not man.

You should have confessed to God and forget about it.

You are so mean. Mr perfect.

Beckham14:
When you were spreading your legs like blue band you never thought of the love you had for that innocent man who put a roof over your head, you never thought of the "marriage" you wish to protect, Now you have lost the trust your parents had for you, and might as well lose the love of your kids when your "ex" husband tells them how promiscuous their mother is and how adventurous she can be with the dick in an hotel room.
Some mistakes are avoidable and you don't have any excuse to give for this silly mistake you brought upon yourself.
May God bless that your "ex" husband for handling that heart shattering news with such calmness, not all men can wait till you finish your sexcapdes without registering some thunderous blows on your face.
The m0ron who fuucked you like a cheap slut has dump you like a piece of trash.
Before you think of killing yourself by yourself, take those innocent children to your parents. I won't stop you from doing what you feel best for you, After all, you didn't seek for our opinions when you wanted to collect the dick.
Put yourself together and accept your fate.
Rest well.

Telling your husband the truth is the best thing you have done in your entire life I assure you. Now your are free from the guilt of infidelity. Your husband needs time to heal. You staying away for now is best for both of you and the children. Will he come back to you? My answer is YES HE WILL!.
I am a man, a well schooled and trained Sociologist, Psychologist and Criminologist. I TELL YOU MY SIS, YOUR HUSBAND WILL COME AROUND!! But plsssssssss, stay strong, beautiful, trustworthy and never justify your action. Again your husband will come. Men will always be men. In his quiet time he will remember that you are truthful and he will trust you once again.
DON'T LIVE IN SELF-PITY, YOU'RE NO MORE UNFAITHFUL TO YOUR HUSBAND. YOU MADE A MISTAKE. IF YOU HAD NOT TOLD HIM, HE MIGHT NEVER HAVE FOUND OUT. SO YOU'RE THE MOST TRUTHFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
Taking your life? no; you can't do that. you're too strong and loving for that. You're not a weakling. Suicide is for weaklings. I know you're a strong woman, you loves God, her husband and children.

YOU ARE THE BEST.

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

that's what sin can do to someone. Your husband will definitely forgive you but I think you will still do it again. No need to die now as you already dead. Just sincerely repent

Ganjafama:
You are making it seem as if the man is bad. The lady deserve no pity. Imagine her saying she would love to fvck the colleague over and over again in her previous post . If the husband decides not to forgive, he has done nothing wrong. The woman is a dangerous person who needs to be disgraced.

That’s the typical statement of anyone carried away even guys talk more rubbish after a successful escapade. Doesn’t mean she ment it or wud go through with it. Her sobriety and confession shows she’s not a bad person or what will u call those ones that give their husbands other men’s kids and keep mute for life?

DukeNija:
That colleague of yours will reap the rewards of his action. He won’t go scot free.

Did he rape her? The only foolish person is the lady.

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

Three persons have volunteered to mediate and try to combine resources and good will to reconcile you with your husband. Do you mind sending me a Pm so we can get your WhatsApp contact?

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

Three persons have volunteered to mediate and try to combine resources and good will to reconcile you with your husband. Do you mind sending me a Pm so we can get your WhatsApp contact?.

Hmnn!!!! OP your story is quite, touching and the same time pathetic regrettably you've have lost your husband trust no doubt, and it will be pretty difficult for him to just forget what you told him, and the shameful act you committed however its not the end of the world, you did the right thing by telling him the truth, and conscience is a silent killer it will hunt you everyday until, you tell the truth cos only God knows the intent of every man heart, by telling the truth you have set yourself free from any silent guilt and you have received forgiveness from God, after all we have all sinned and come short the glory of God, and let him without sin be the first to a cast the stone!!! as human we all enjoying the divine grace of God, however at the moment your husband is in deep pain and he's finding difficult to forgive you, i dont blame him if iam your husband i will act the same way the best you can do now is to pray for God to touch his heart, call for a family meeting, open up and ask for forgiveness if after all these your husband is still adamant you have to brace yourself up and move on with your life, an open my mind fear no guilt once you have been forgiven by God go and sin no more, and finally forgive yourself else you will continually live in guilt and regret for the rest of your life. You need encouragement and not online bashing!!!

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised.....

You should never have told him since he didn't discover it or suspect you. Such developments in marriage are better left as secrets.

Anyway, I don't see him taking you back but if he should take you back, I am optimistic that he will never be the same man you married. He will be with you because of pity and I don't think you will enjoy such marriage.

I suggest you prepare the hunt for another man who will love you despite the situation and sincerely wanna marry you. It is well.

Please don't be suicidal about it; it is not strange in life. Pick up the pieces of your life and make peace with yourself and God. You only need the forgiveness of God and that supersedes his own, if he doesn't want to forgive you. Be happy and blessed, take care of your kids and love yourself.

1cor2v9:
The moment she said she enjoyed the evil act with the colleague and even wants more I knew her innocent husband deserves to be with someone better...

You are right

Taking your life is not an option please. Accept your mistake and learn to move on with ur life.

Ur kids oooooo

Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.

Marbella003:
I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over...

Sincerely, I think that's hard to believe.

But, u did right thing by telling him. I think u should brace up itself and face d challenges ahead like a strong woman. You can...

It would oy take a short time and everything will get back to normal. There 're many single parents out there who've made great impact in d society.

Besides, who says you can't ever get married again?

Challenge d fears and conquer ur challenges