What if you work in a big private company and years later you lost your job and your wife becomes financially okay than you, should you now divorce the woman?

SageMK:
Love is never enough.
You can't demand respect when you don't give that out.
It's evident he didn't respect and appreciate her doings.

Its possible. Maybe he took her for granted. I recognise an elder when I see one. You have spoken well.

That's why its wrong to judge without considering both parties.

Op has told us what he saw but he won't tell us what he didn't see or what he feels will make us not to side his guy.

greatbygrace:
This has nothing to do with finance or academic. It has everything to do with the attitude and the love they claim they had. There are people in the same scenerio who are happily married. So your generalization is wrong.

There is nothing wrong in a wife calling her husband by name. It only depends on the attitude and manner.

There is also nothing wrong in a man dishing his food himself and even dishing for his wife. It is all about understanding and love.

Loving someone isn't all about money and academics afterall there are illiterates who are madly in love and there are poor people in love also. Although money makes it better. The main thing about love is understanding and sacrifice.

My opinion.

God will bless you. My wife a graduate for UI with Master degree from lasu marries me. I only have OND.

Her parent were finally buoyant than mine because the dad was an ex staff of chevron.

5 years ago when we wanted to marry, the daddy collected only 60 naira as dowry. They are not Hungary at all. From jss 1 to ss3 she use to board planes to and fro - FEGOCAL TO LAGOS. Meanwhile me I did not even know how to enter airport sef until we marry and she booked a flight for us.

Apart from the normal quarrel, she had respected me all the time and never say any stupid things to me. She corrects my English at times but with love. She still cook my food with will even me use to complain sometimes to rest. She is gainfully employed and holding a managerial post at a company.


People just assume anything.

I have said it repeatedly, MARRY A GOOD GIRL. A good girl remains a good girl. A bad girl will only appear like a good girl if there are other things to benefit from you.

SageMK:


From what you posted, he wanted her to serve him his food in the presence of a stranger (you). And while she declined, he tried forcing her. (Bear in mind she did the cooking with her own money).

From this it clearly depicts —

1. He felt entitled to her caring and wasn't appreciative.
2. He had no respect for her by trying to emasculate.

Note that I am not saying she isn't disrespectful.
But her husband gave her a reason to disrespect him.

And it's not because of financial status but his behundingavior.

Are you okay?
A married man feeling entitled to his wife's care?
You tried sounding smart but still goofed

kevin25:
My neigbor got married to a woman that is financially and academically ahead of him yes they started with love at initial stage she did everything possible to make sure the man suceed i mean everything she sacrify evrytn kudos to her, but the problem now is how the woman talks to the husband with no atom of respect she goes around telling people what she has done for the man to the extent her friends no longer see the man as anything .. The one that pains me was the day she told the man to go and dish out food for himself even in my presence, wen the man try to force her my dear come see insult from how she feed him to how she made him who he is,just because the man ask her to go and bring his food even dou the man is working now but stil the woman stil look down on him.. The worst she stil call the man by his name . The man is talking about bringing another woman that wil respect him as The man of the house.. This is a big lesson without money i dnt think you can control a nigerian woman .

Crazy Macho mentality.
What's the meaning of "Man of the house"?
Why can't he serve himself? Or even cook himself?
What's wrong with calling him by his name? Is his name not to be called?

This entitlement mentality is detrimental to some African men, and is destroying relationships.

SageMK:


From what you posted, he wanted her to serve him his food in the presence of a stranger (you). And while she declined, he tried forcing her. (Bear in mind she did the cooking with her own money).

From this it clearly depicts —

1. He felt entitled to her caring and wasn't appreciative.
2. He had no respect for her by trying to emasculate.

Note that I am not saying she isn't disrespectful.
But her husband gave her a reason to disrespect him.

And it's not because of financial status but his behavior.

Correct

LordKO:
Balderdash. So if your poor and uneducated wife of today becomes more wealthy and formally educated than you tomorrow, you'll divorce or kill her.

Marry a virtuous/strong-minded woman, with her you won't have a frenemy in any condition, so long as you remain good to her.

baba you nailed it .from the little i know about marriages ,disparity in income or level of education has nothing to do with respect ,RESPECT IS EARNED .Marriage is teamwork and each player knows his roles and duties and must be ready to fulfill this roles at any given time with little or no support from the other player (except in some cases).The fact a woman has a phd does not mean she wont cook for her family and the fact a man is a farmer does not mean he wont put a roof over his family and food on the table ,once you don't see yourself performing these roles easily then know it is not the right time for you to get married .It is painful many use income disparity as a yard stick to be lazy and care free and leech on their partners

ibekwe97:
Through thought my brother, it just happened to recently. The girl I dated for years, no respect, she can't wash my cloth, she can't sweep my house. The worst part of it is that she always do what she likes. Thank we are no longer together. We guys should be careful seriously

What happened to your arms bro?
You lost them in an accident?

The part in red/blue seems to be the only issue I saw in your post.

Bossjakande:
pls wat does dis mean Chineke ekweghi ihe ojo! and Nwoke m, nodi odu!

You will pay me for this.
The first means 'God forbid bad thing' in pidgin.

Second means 'young man, sit!

Bossjakande:
pls wat does dis mean Chineke ekweghi ihe ojo! and Nwoke m, nodi odu!

-God forbid bad thing.


-Mr man, sit down!!

Headlesschicken:
Please tell that person above me to keep quiet...

She post the truth. Nothing wrong in the man going to the kitchen to dish his food.

victorDanladi:

Please tell us how you've not reduced your husband and in what way have you shown him respect if you do all you posted above

What is disrespectful about how she and her husband relates? If you questions how this person lives with her husband, what it means is that you do not know the meaning of a wife.



I think what most Nigerian men mean when they mention wife is a MAID.

SageMK:
Love is never enough.
You can't demand respect when you don't give that out.
It's evident he didn't respect and appreciate her doings.

Guys like you would type just about anything to score brownie points with the female folks. You'd sell yourself just for fleeting attention from them.

Romantic love is not enough reason to marry anybody in 2019 and beyond, time have changed, things have changed, money is the petrol that fuel every aspect of human life now.

Guys, if u are not financially okay to a good extent, I will advice u, don't go into marriage. Anybody pushing you to get married should donate at least 5million free gift support to you.

Ladies, marrying without a job of your own or a viable business or handwork is an abomination today!

I don't care your reason, I don't care if your parents are poor or not, if your parents are poor, remove pride and go learn a skill or handwork. You have no excuse to be unemployed as a lady desiring to get married in 2019 and beyond. Work! Work! Find something to do no matter how small! Your pussy is no longer enough quality to get you married to quality men, wake up!


Stop giving birth to children without financial plans for their well being.

It is not a crime to stay single for life!

kevin25:
My neigbor got married to a woman that is financially and academically ahead of him yes they started with love at initial stage she did everything possible to make sure the man suceed i mean everything she sacrify evrytn kudos to her, but the problem now is how the woman talks to the husband with no atom of respect she goes around telling people what she has done for the man to the extent her friends no longer see the man as anything .. The one that pains me was the day she told the man to go and dish out food for himself even in my presence, wen the man try to force her my dear come see insult from how she feed him to how she made him who he is,just because the man ask her to go and bring his food even dou the man is working now but stil the woman stil look down on him.. The worst she stil call the man by his name . The man is talking about bringing another woman that wil respect him as The man of the house.. This is a big lesson without money i dnt think you can control a nigerian woman .

Mods please introduce the 'unlike' button. Some posts are not it.

immaculate1234:
My uncle is having this same problem everyday na wahala but they have 3 kids now I guess he is enduring the relationship and being matured about it, love supersedes all

Though some men are lazy and wicked, they want to marry women that are made and want to the woman to be under them/slave with phrase like[i] I am the man of the the house [/i], depend on the woman you meet but if you want to keep your respect as a man, don't depend on a woman's wealth.

kevin25:
I dnt have such time guy they are my neigbor get that if not watin concern me nd them the man always advice me not to end with her kind of woman... He always regret everytn he says had it been he married a woman of his level he wil not been havin dis issue... Guy wen ur wife dnt respect u my dear ur finish.

The husband sounds like a loser. Imagine ordinary dishing of food causing wahala. As if there are not more important things in life to worry about. Poverty mentality. Na dem dem. Lmao.

luminouz:

I like the way u reason, objective and logical!!!

Mercì

ibekwe97:
[s]Through thought my brother, it just happened to recently.The girl I dated for years, no respect, she can't wash my cloth, she can't sweep my house. The worst part of it is that she always do what she likes. Thank we are no longer together. We guys should be careful seriously [/s]

*spits*

chinchonglee:
If u hear marriage, run!!!

I dnt see myself tied down wit anybody in d name of being married.


Meanwhile my kid sister is here playing love. Love is shacking her. I jst dey laff

Shud i tell her?

no, don't tell her

greatbygrace:
This has nothing to do with finance or academic. It has everything to do with the attitude and the love they claim they had. There are people in the same scenerio who are happily married. So your generalization is wrong.

There is nothing wrong in a wife calling her husband by name. It only depends on the attitude and manner.

There is also nothing wrong in a man dishing his food himself and even dishing for his wife. It is all about understanding and love.

Loving someone isn't all about money and academics afterall there are illiterates who are madly in love and there are poor people in love also. Although money makes it better. The main thing about love is understanding and sacrifice.

My opinion.

lol this one is not about who to dish the meal and who not to dish d meal. Frm the op's story the lady does not love the man but just managed him cos she was desperate to become a Mrs while d man was just looking for a rich woman to feed and sponsor him. They dont love each other.

kevin25:
My neigbor got married to a woman that is financially and academically ahead of him yes they started with love at initial stage she did everything possible to make sure the man suceed i mean everything she sacrify evrytn kudos to her, but the problem now is how the woman talks to the husband with no atom of respect she goes around telling people what she has done for the man to the extent her friends no longer see the man as anything .. The one that pains me was the day she told the man to go and dish out food for himself even in my presence, wen the man try to force her my dear come see insult from how she feed him to how she made him who he is,just because the man ask her to go and bring his food even dou the man is working now but stil the woman stil look down on him.. The worst she stil call the man by his name . The man is talking about bringing another woman that wil respect him as The man of the house.. This is a big lesson without money i dnt think you can control a nigerian woman .

Op wait!

Wait.

Just wait, okay?

The younger, timid and lowlife women are the ones to beware of.

It pains a man more, even to the marrows and to a man's soul that he brought out a nobody as a wife, brushed her up and made her somebody, then she disrespects him. This case in point as you paint it isnt that too bad.

My thought:
May be the wife at that point was exhausted and, for that reason, requested that the man dish his food by himself.

In family setting, its no big deal for a man to go dish out his food himself, in fact it does not amount to disrespect. I presume that the woman cooked the food. Is it dishing it for his stomach that is a hard labour for a loving husband?

SEE OP, TAKE IT FROM ME AND TELL ANY ONE WHO CARES TO LISTEN:

A MAN SHOULD NOT EXPECT HIS WIFE TO DO ALL MENIAL JOBS AT HOME ALONE. IT SHOULD BE SHARED AND THAT IS WHEN THE COUPLE ARE IN 21ST CENTURY.

TO TRY TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN SUBSERVIENT AND LABOUROUS, MAY BE THE WAY OUR GRAND PARENTS HAD THEIR WIVES DO WILL NOT ENGENDER HEALTHY HOME FOR MODERN FAMILIES.

ADVICE: Let the man not always insist on asserting himself. Let him apply humility, it smoothens love and peace in the home.

If the man had (perhaps foreknowing the way his wife behaves) gone to the kitchen and fetched the food himself without demanding that from the wife, perhaps the woman may have toned this way: "oh Darling, you should have asked me to serve your food na"

In that way, your friend could have saved himself, his wife and their family this whole embarrassment.

The good news is: soon their children will complement the deficiencies of either of them by rendering this kind of services...

ibekwe97:
Through thought my brother, it just happened to recently.The girl I dated for years, no respect, she can't wash my cloth, she can't sweep my house. The worst part of it is that she always do what she likes. Thank we are no longer together. We guys should be careful seriously

Can you wash hers? If yes, good for you. Is she can't wash yours though, do it yourself.

kmcutez:


Lol. The husband sounds like a loser. Imagine ordinary dishing of food causing wahala. As if there are not more important things in life to worry about. Poverty mentality. I’m sure you all reside in face me, I face you. Na dem dem. Lmao.

Lmao

There are some brilliant people in the world! I also came to this conclusion via experience. As a man, always marry a woman who looks up to you if you wish to keep control of your family. A woman who feels she's your equal or better will NEVER respect or desire you...it is not a question of being intimidated by a woman's success, it is a question of biology.

My only disagreement with your conclusion is the idea that it is only Nigerian women when in fact it is women in general. Nigerian women are actually the best truth be told, at least they try to pretend to control their natural instinct. Other races of women are insufferable.

sassysure:

U can never be half of who he is. When u see his type out there, u will only wish but your retarded mindset will never allow u to grow.
slowpoke and dunce.
U write like a gateman.

leave the foolish boy

He and this OP and the true husband of that lady, are all impoverished minds.

They walk around thinking money begets respect, or academic qualifications. If you conduct yourself in a respectful manner, people will respect you, it is a given

Women need to watch out for all these impoverished men, with impoverished mindsets. They want to drag you down to their level, they want you to respect them by force. These ones are not men, they are weaklings

That is how I told one yesterday that my father was changing diapers and cleaning baby poop and he said I won't find such a man....if someone found my father, I am sure there are still men out there with sense, despite the overwhelming stupidity that permeates this site.

I'm happy for you, that you are lucky to have found one. Some women, like the wife of this OP's friend, have not been lucky at all

desiredhome:

Though some men are lazy and wicked, they want to marry women that are made and want to the woman to be under them/slave with phrase like[i] I am the man of the the house [/i], depend on the woman you meet but if you want to keep your respect as a man, don't depend on a woman's wealth.

well you are right she trained my uncle throughout the duration of his years in school

kevin25:
My neigbor got married to a woman that is financially and academically ahead of him yes they started with love at initial stage she did everything possible to make sure the man suceed i mean everything she sacrify evrytn kudos to her, but the problem now is how the woman talks to the husband with no atom of respect she goes around telling people what she has done for the man to the extent her friends no longer see the man as anything .. The one that pains me was the day she told the man to go and dish out food for himself even in my presence, wen the man try to force her my dear come see insult from how she feed him to how she made him who he is,just because the man ask her to go and bring his food even dou the man is working now but stil the woman stil look down on him.. The worst she stil call the man by his name . The man is talking about bringing another woman that wil respect him as The man of the house.. This is a big lesson without money i dnt think you can control a nigerian woman .

You are a typical timid man that is incapable of understanding that cerebral power is the divine order. I am a man, a real man and not a snow flake. I am such man that is not afraid of the devil and not even the Gods. But even as tough as I am, if I ever get challenged intellectually by a woman, I am humble enough to admit to learn from that woman. If she is more wealthy, then there is something she knows more about money that the man does not know, so what makes the man superior to the woman? His dick? His name? or his ego?

I am of the opinion that Gender is a farce, and brain power is ultimate. Success leaves clues and if the woman makes more money, she is more experienced in conversion of intellectual and intuitive functionalities to material gains.

So, the woman is absolute head of that home and the man should wash the fuccking plates or go out there a be a man and bring money and respect to the home and himself.

Full stop to foolishness of snowflakes and weak men who think they deserve Glory because they were birthed with a phallus.

Respect is Earned and Money is Key to any earnings.

franchasng:
Romantic love is not enough reason to marry anybody in 2019 and beyond, time have changed, things have changed, money is the petrol that fuel every aspect of human life now.

Guys, if u are financially okay to a good extent, I will advice u, don't go into marriage. Anybody pushing to get married should donate at least 5million free gift support to you.

Ladies, marrying without a job of your own or a viable business or handwork is an abomination today!

Stop giving birth to children without financial plans for their well being.

It is not a crime to stay single for life!

You are a smart man.

Macwrites:


Crazy Macho mentality.
What's the meaning of "Man of the house"?
Why can't he serve himself? Or even cook himself?
What's wrong with calling him by his name? Is his name not to be called?

This entitlement mentality is detrimental to some African men, and is destroying relationships.

My brother some guys get issue.

No lady will ever tell me she did this or that for me.

I wash my clothes right from school. I cook my meals or I eat out! I don't even like ladies cooking or washing clothes for me.

And today, washing machine is affordable. There are wash and spin machines of 40,000naira.


I arrange and clean my house. Also, there are vacuum cleaners for easy home cleaning and manual dust moppers too.

If u want to form man of the house, hire a housekeeper,I used to have one in the past until I was advised to stop for my safety, I use to pay her 20,000naira.

These things are cheap now.

Your wife or girlfriend shouldn't be your slave or househelp.

You should be more concerned about her looking hot and young instead of using stress and house chores to kill her lol

This op rant, me I no support this one

ibkayee:

*spits*

Why are they always looking for who to wash their clothes and sweep their houses? Who trained these ones?

greatbygrace:
This has nothing to do with finance or academic. It has everything to do with the attitude and the love they claim they had. There are people in the same scenerio who are happily married. So your generalization is wrong.

There is nothing wrong in a wife calling her husband by name. It only depends on the attitude and manner.

There is also nothing wrong in a man dishing his food himself and even dishing for his wife. It is all about understanding and love.

Loving someone isn't all about money and academics afterall there are illiterates who are madly in love and there are poor people in love also. Although money makes it better. The main thing about love is understanding and sacrifice.

My opinion.

Thanks men. Don't mind all this lazy thinkers. They want money so they can occupy the high ground. If you can reason you can get at women easy.