₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,296,524 members, 5,046,271 topics. Date: Friday, 19 July 2019 at 03:26 PM

Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man (35853 Views)

Woman Who Wants To Marry Her Son's Friend In Gombe Sent To Prison / Would You Marry A Man Like Your Dad? See Replies Girls Gave / Thread For Parents With Kids Who Top Their Classes Academically. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) ... (16) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by pocohantas(f): 4:44pm On Jun 13
trapQ:
You have so much sense but most times you'd rather say absolute trash.

This is a very brilliant piece. Whenever I see such lovely comments from you I wonder if it's your other personality typing.


Lmao. Abeg I dey office.

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by ibkayee(f): 4:45pm On Jun 13
pocohantas:


Man like this shaaaa.

Ibkayee come and see the main alpha male.
Excluding the man being the head part
But they won’t hear cry

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by drey076(m): 4:45pm On Jun 13
80% of Nigerian women who are financially better than their husband are disrespectful, even some of their male colleague at their places of work can testify to this. it would now take maturity from the side of the husband to manage them.

They feel the home can easily be financially managed by them, hence they want to have the final say.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by TemmyT002(m): 4:45pm On Jun 13
Jmk9292:
That's when both are in marriage because of pressure..... Pressure arising from poverty on the side of the man.... Pressure on the side of the woman to be a Mrs..

Pressure? That's new.
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by ibkayee(f): 4:45pm On Jun 13
Wtf is this obsession some Nigerian guys have with washing their underpants though?

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by Theyoungmatron: 4:47pm On Jun 13
eni4real:
That is the scenario!! The husband ask the wife to dish her food.... The wife refused and ask him to dish it himself. She did that in the presence of a guest...
How is that not disrespectful

If this happen in Nollywood, family meeting is the next step...
Except you are referring to your maids and kids that is when the scenario will be disrespectful. When you realize that you are addressing your wife, the person that compliments your effort in all things then i am not seeing any disrespect. It will be very disrespectful for you if you view your wife as your housemaid.
Meanwhile, where you there sir? How can you gauge the tone the man used in communicating to his wife? I still reiterates that actions and reactions are equal and opposite. He should've choose his battle wisely. He knew that all is not well with his relationship with his wife and to crown it all her believes that it is his right to order his wife around, the woman who provides and cooks the food he eats. He got served.

6 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by seyigiggle: 4:47pm On Jun 13
comments on this thread are based on family upbringing, culture, education/exposure and enviroment.
so, everyone may be right

6 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by sparko1(m): 4:47pm On Jun 13
greatbygrace:
This has nothing to do with finance or academic. It has everything to do with the attitude and the love they claim they had. There are people in the same scenerio who are happily married. So your generalization is wrong.

There is nothing wrong in a wife calling her husband by name. It only depends on the attitude and manner.

There is also nothing wrong in a man dishing his food himself and even dishing for his wife. It is all about understanding and love.

Loving someone isn't all about money and academics afterall there are illiterates who are madly in love and there are poor people in love also. Although money makes it better. The main thing about love is understanding and sacrifice.

My opinion.

Like you said your opinion, A rich/educated man can love a poor uneducated woman but trust me, the trust me, an educated/rich woman will never be under an illiterate/poor man.

From the outsider everyone that sees that relationship will be envious but until you go close then you will notice the pain the man is bearing, some men don't have a say on what their children will or will not do, the woman takes total control everything that happens.
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by 5ublime: 4:48pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
Imagine if your friends came around and u instruct your wife to go and bring food for U and ur frd then she told you to go and do by urself how wil u feel? My girlfrd wont try dat talkles of wife

Did you just say "instruct" ? That's why he won't get any respect.
If you treat your wife with respect, she will respect you in return. There's nothing wrong with dishing his food for himself and his friend.... in fact, with the permission of his wife.

Marriage is a partnership. Your kind has made it a master-slave relationship. The fact that you're even confident enough to bring it up here claiming right is very disturbing.

10 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by Gabson001(m): 4:48pm On Jun 13
Is it a crime for women to be rich? Little money they will become toxic.. Arrogant and disrepectful.. Wetin self

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by pocohantas(f): 4:49pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
For those saying there is nothing is wrong in a woman calling his husband by his name, my dear everytn is wrong kpatakpata if u dnt love d man call him papa watever dnt call a man that paid ur bride price by his name dat is lack of respect are they mate? Tradition forbid that

Now, tell me you are joking? What is wrong in calling my man by his name?

Dude, seems you are typing from the Medieval ages. You just wanna see how the future is huh?

9 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by trapQ: 4:50pm On Jun 13
Don't add or subtract to the op. The op never mentioned that the man said "dear pls dish my food".

It is only a mad person who will not respond respectfully when spoken to with respect.
eni4real:
"Dear pls dish my food" is a disrespectful call right??
That is immaturity on the part of the woman. There is nothing disrespectful in that!!!

3 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by kevin25(m): 4:53pm On Jun 13
akanbiaa:
What If she adds Boda or uncle to the name?
hahahahaha u funny die
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by eni4real(m): 4:54pm On Jun 13
Theyoungmatron:
Except you are referring to your maids and kids that is when the scenario will be disrespectful. When you realize that you are addressing your wife, the person that compliments your effort in all things then i am not seeing any disrespect. It will be very disrespectful for you if you view your wife as your housemaid.
Meanwhile, where you there sir? How can you gauge the tone the man used in communicating to his wife? I still reiterates that actions and reactions are equal and opposite. He should've choose his battle wisely. He knew that all is not well with his relationship with his wife and to crown it all her believes that it is his right to order his wife around, the woman who provides and cooks the food he eats. He got served.

Women will always side one another...
I get your perspective .... My concern is that if that wife is a saucy type by nature, which is possible because she dared her husband to marry another wife, then there is fire on the mountain top!!!!

2 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by HBB1(m): 4:55pm On Jun 13
ibkayee:

Excluding the man being the head part
But they won’t hear cry


hahaha...

A man is a shield, a provider, a covering, a priest, a coach...

He has muscles ( without working out) for a reason, he can commit suicide when he looses his job for a reason, he is naturally bigger than the female for a reason.

He is the one most responsible for the successes or failure of the home-- God made it so.

As there is a head of department and captain of a team, a man is the head of the home.

How he interprets it depends on how much 'maturity' he has!
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by kevin25(m): 4:55pm On Jun 13
pocohantas:


Now, tell me you are joking? What is wrong in calling my man by his name?

Dude, seems you are typing from the Medieval ages. You just wanna see how the future is huh?
The man dosnt like dat get it
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by akanbiaa(m): 4:57pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
hahahahaha u funny die
My wife calls me Boda because thats the name everyone use to call me and the name she is also used to but definitely when the babies come she will call me Baba/Daddy (name of baby. All this are just formalities respect is not by utterance but attitude and demeanor of a person.

2 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by 5ublime: 4:57pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
not matter of marry my girlfrd wont try such talkles of my own wife i dnt enter kitchen talkes Of dishing out food wen my gf is around my dear some women lack respect no matter what a man is a man

I know your type. You enjoy dating foolish girls that have no future that you will just put in one shop. All they'll be doing is "issok like that" to any of your decisions.

6 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by bluefilm: 4:57pm On Jun 13
So you reached your own conclusions just from this one instance?

Guy na wa for you o.

Being arrogant is an individual thing.

I will not want to believe that every woman who is above you academically and finally will automatically start disrespecting you.

But that's your opinion so your are free to believe whatever you choose to believe.

It's allowed.

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by trapQ: 4:58pm On Jun 13
Polygamists?? Hahahaha.. and you think men in polygamous marriages have anything to gain? Lol.

What if the husband of the woman you quoted just prefers serving his own food?Some people are like that.

Let me give you an instance. My mother rarely ever goes to the market. And I mean it, she very rarely goes. Most of the time my dad does. This has been going on for the longest time. And guess what? It's my dad choice. And it doesn't mean he's jobless or emasculated, no. He's infact a very very busy man but he doesn't joke with his stomach and takes his little time off to head to the market and get what he wants. When someone hears it they'll probably think my mom is a bad wife but it's far from that.
eni4real:
Of Course. That is understandable!!!
She is ill.

Even if she is not sick but tired. Helping out is not a problem.

But to say that "I have never dished out food for my husband since we married. After he finish eating his food he will wash his plate any dish he met on the basin..." Ha ha. You guys should stop emasculating men especially those that are gentle..

Issues like this make Polygamist believe they are better off..

4 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by ibkayee(f): 4:58pm On Jun 13
HBB1:



hahaha...

A man is a shield, a provider, a covering, a priest, a coach...

He has muscles ( without working out) for a reason, he can commit suicide when he looses his job for a reason, he is naturally bigger than the female for a reason.

He is the one most responsible for the successes or failure of the home-- God made it so.

As there is a head of department and captain of a team, a man is the head of the home.

How he interprets it depends on how much 'maturity' he has!

If that’s what both you and your babe agree on, I respect it for your household tbh
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by eni4real(m): 4:59pm On Jun 13
trapQ:
Don't add or subtract to the op. The op never mentioned that the man said "dear pls dish my food".

It is only a mad person who will not respond respectfully when spoken to with respect.
Enough of the focus on the husband, what if the woman is naturally saucy
Or can we just excuse such an attribute because she is a woman/wife
"The worst you can do is to marry another wife" just imagine!
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by pocohantas(f): 5:01pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
The man dosnt like dat get it

Since he started seeing money or right from their dating days?

What would he prefer she calls him?

Your Lordship?
His Royal Highness?
His Royal Majesty?
Eze Umunwanyi 1?
Olowo orimi?

What exactly?

3 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by joepentwo(m): 5:03pm On Jun 13
Jmk9292:
That's when both are in marriage because of pressure..... Pressure arising from poverty on the side of the man.... Pressure on the side of the woman to be a Mrs..
grin with this kind sense make i dash you Ph.d grin
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by kevin25(m): 5:03pm On Jun 13
D Man has warn her to stop calling him by his name stil no change d man has never called the wife by her name...
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by Acidosis(m): 5:06pm On Jun 13
@OP,




Many wives are willing to show respect, but they feel their men must be worthy of it. Fact is, respect is too great a need for any man to have it given and taken based on performance. Respect is not a fair-weather affair. A woman needs to learn how to respect her man even when he's not perfect.

^^ Sounds stupid and impossible, right?? Very well then, do NOT marry a man you cannot respect! How difficult is that??

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by eni4real(m): 5:08pm On Jun 13
trapQ:
Polygamists?? Hahahaha.. and you think men in polygamous marriages have anything to gain? Lol.

What if the husband of the woman you quoted just prefers serving his own food?Some people are like that.

Let me give you an instance. My mother rarely ever goes to the market. And I mean it, she very rarely goes. Most of the time my dad does. This has been going on for the longest time. And guess what? It's my dad choice. And it doesn't mean he's jobless or emasculated, no. He's infact a very very busy man but he doesn't joke with his stomach and takes his little time off to head to the market and get what he wants. When someone hears it they'll probably think my mom is a bad wife but it's far from that.
Muslim Polygamist are well adjusted to the practice because it is within the tenet of their religion. So, they should be happy. But topic like this cannot be raised among them. No woman will ask the husband to dish his food or do the laundries while the other wives are looking.. He must do all their laundries grin

The example you cite is real as your Dad has a unique form of upbringing and he must be an open minded man too...

You and I know that more than 50% of women buy groceries in the market. That your mum has such an understanding husband does not mean every wives should expect their husbands to act the same.

Especially when it is a privilege and not a right....

I don't know why women complain when it comes to widely duties, children adore you more they ever adore us.. Your reward is always there grin grin

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by CorperKola: 5:08pm On Jun 13
greatbygrace:



I quite understand what you are trying to say. The problem with what you just typed is "Instruct your wife"..... This shows an attitude problem. Many problems of marriage is perception and attitude.

Are there difficult peoole? Yes!
Annoying wives? Yes!
Annoying husbands ? Definitely!

But with the right attitude towards them some can change and with the wrong one, some get worse.

The whole point I'm trying to pass across is that both husband and wife in the story above have attitude problems. BOTH not just the wife.
I think normally the wife should serve her husband and his friends when she is in the house. The man wants to show off his wife to his friends and feel like he is the head of the house, na jst shakara for him friends.
However the guy suppose understand his situation and the kind of wife he has.
I have heard folorunsho Alakija talk about serving food and kneeling to serve her husband food
Also heard omotola talk about her husband going to the market to buy foodstuffs and cooking for her cos she is a superstar bla bla.
So its always about your preferences and choosing the partner that has those.
So the man is to be blamed as the leader of the relationship for choosing an incompatible partner except the woman toasted him and all.
My preferences align with the man's own but in this situation i wont try this shii and i certainly wont marry this kind of woman.
So ii summary the title of this article is very correct if you are anything like me
If not, no problem
Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by HBB1(m): 5:13pm On Jun 13
ibkayee:

If that’s what both you and your babe agree on, I respect it for your household tbh

That's the order of life.
The buck stops somewhere.

God did not question Eve, he questioned Adam!

A head should never lord it over people he is responsible for-- that's positional leadership, which is weak. He is supposed to lead. He is on the front-lines, he is the most responsible, the most caring, the most selfless, he sacrifices for those he is responsible for.

Any association where there is no assigned "head" is doomed.

Marriage is not a competition, its a partnership-- 2 people should be more effective than when they are single. 2 people working towards a common goal.

3 Likes

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by hush15: 5:14pm On Jun 13
kevin25:
My neigbor got married to a woman that is financially and academically ahead of him yes they started with love at initial stage she did everything possible to make sure the man suceed i mean everything she sacrify evrytn kudos to her, but the problem now is how the woman talks to the husband with no atom of respect she goes around telling people what she has done for the man to the extent her friends no longer see the man as anything .. The one that pains me was the day she told the man to go and dish out food for himself even in my presence, wen the man try to force her my dear come see insult from how she feed him to how she made him who he is,just because the man ask her to go and bring his food even dou the man is working now but stil the woman stil look down on him.. The worst she stil call the man by his name . The man is talking about bringing another woman that wil respect him as The man of the house.. This is a big lesson without money i dnt think you can control a nigerian woman .

you forgot spiritual and if it will sound awkward for you not to marry a more spiritually minded girl, can i urge you men to be more spiritually minded than the women. You are the head, who us supposed to be closer to God for direction and wisdom.

when a woman feels they are more spiritual than you, they tend to have misplaced priorities cos the church becomes more important than the immediate family when family is suppose to be your first church.

Just think it, if Adam was, Eve wont have left us to this trash...

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by eodavids(m): 5:17pm On Jun 13
GogobiriLalas:
I hate men like you more than the devil...all male feminists should be killed and their carcasses fed to dogs. You don't know what the eff you're saying.

I am married.

I know the intricacies of marriage.

You should learn from me. I believe in solution.

1 Like

Re: Never Marry A Woman who Is Financially And Academically Ahead Of You As A Man by Lightening: 5:19pm On Jun 13
sassysure:
So he can't go and dish out food?
I have never dished out food for my husband and he is not a small or hungry man. As a matter of fact even when I stopped working for sometime unless when we are eating together.
Once he finish eating, from the day one of our relationship, he will take his plate and wash, with every other thing he sees on the sink.
It has not reduced him from being a man and the man in the house that has my respect always.

Enough of all these gender rules. It has destroyed more than it builds.

Simple things like that are what endears your spouse to you but it seems like your friend is always trying to bring "I'm the man card" in his union like most of our men do.
The woman refused to dish out food, and she was forcing her?
If she usually dish out food, what made her not to do it at that time. Was she too tired or very angry over something?
Did he try to know what was her annoyance, rather he want to exert his right as the head by ordering her to do that. Somebody that houses and feed you?
Common, u guys are really very dumb sometimes. It takes so little to make women lay down everything they have for guys especially working ladies but pride will never allow you guys to see whats before u.

Abeg give us the expo na. What is that little it takes to make her lay down everything she has just for me?

(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) ... (16) (Reply)

8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. / Ghanaian Lady Married To A 90-Year-Old White Man Slams Her Critics / Hubby Caught Me Using Contraceptives!!!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2019 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 186
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.