Deji63:


So he shouldnt accept the child? Why even sleep with a womsn who you cant have babies with? Thats madness.

What are you on? We are not children or lily White Puritans here. People have sex with people they do not plan on having babies with all the time. It is what separates us from animals that are on heat periodically

nkwuocha:


Good you asked this question sir!But another question should be asked as well, "Why will a man with wife and kids abroad be sleeping around without any protection?"That child is his responsibility, he is a very stupid man.

That lady should connive with a very good doctor, claim she gave birth through CS and bill him a 500k for a start on well packaged hospital receipt.

The both of them are stupid cause having unprotected sex with someone you are not married to is risky it could have been worse apart from pregnancy STDS are there to watch out for, 500K to start with ?haba this is Nigeria things don't work like that, I have seen court divorcing married couples with 3 kids giving custody of the kids to the mother, placing the father on child support of just 10k a month

yeyeosoronga:


If he wasn't so keen on having children, did they discuss the use of contraceptives? Why was he having unprotected sex? If he is married with kids and doesn't want more, why didn't he get a vasectomy?
The responsibility of family planning shouldn't just rest on the woman. Unless he didnt sleep with her unprotected or he is truly infertile, he has a responsibility towards that child whether planned or not.
Even those on contraceptives sometimes "accidentally" get pregnant. Not everyone believes in abortion whether feminist or not, and definitely not in Nigeria where unsafe abortions are the order of the day.
Not every woman can tolerate the available contraceptives. Why would you deny your child especially when they didn't discuss family planning? Men who don't want children from their concubines should know better by using condoms. STIs are real

Nature is not fair. It is the woman who is carrying the pregnancy, not so?it is the woman who will give birth, not so? It is the woman chasing the guy on social media. Nature has made it such that it is WOMEN who bear kids. So taking a lions share of responsibility for pregnancy as an emancipated adult female is a no brainer. Who is it that must avoid drugs alcohol etc during pregnancy, the man or the woman?

ornicus:


What are you on? We are not children or lily White Puritans here. People have sex with people they do not plan on having babies with all the time. It is what separates us from animals that are on heat periodically

And when they take such risks they should face the consequences that come with it . Shikena.

If he got infected with HIV in the process he would have faced it squarely. Wouldnt he? So he should do same with the pregnancy. Risk taker, all na consequence.

Deji63:


And when they take such risks they should face the consequences that come with it . Shikena.

That is the issue here. The woman deliberately refused to follow through.

She could have taken postinor 2,she could have gotten an abortion. All those considered she wants to be baby mama /wife by force. She is not a small pikin with no access to safe methods of termination.

ornicus:


Nature is not fair. It is the woman who is carrying the pregnancy, not so?it is the woman who will give birth, not so? It is the woman chasing the guy on social media. Nature has made it such that it is WOMEN who bear kids. So taking a lions share of responsibility for pregnancy as an emancipated adult female is a no brainer. Who is it that must avoid drugs alcohol etc during pregnancy, the man or the woman?

That's why it's her body . However, if the man is so averse to having children, then snip it away. Thank goodness things are changing, and people are being made to face their responsibilities. The unborn child remains the responsibility of both people who gave it life including the man who got its mother pregnant. A woman may take a lion's share in looking after a pregnancy, because whatever she does affects the fetus, but the dynamics change when you have a livebirth.
OP, you should have your baby first before all this noise. Go to the courts and let them order a DNA test. Once that's sorted and he is established as the father, the child becomes his responsibility. Safe delivery, call us to come and chop rice during the naming.

CaptainMitch:
Doctor jokwa

chief pikko, jokwa sir, e don tey oo..how your end

ornicus:


That is the issue here. The woman deliberately refused to follow through.

She could have taken postinor 2,she could have gotten an abortion. All those considered she wants to be baby mama /wife by force. She is not a small pikin with no access to safe methods of termination.

My btother you be learner?

You never see where woman go say she take postinor 2 still get belle? Best bet if you dont want to screw yourself up is abstain, use protection always or only go raw when you know you can marry her.

That's how to stay safe.

For me, abortion is tantamount to murder so its a no no. I dont encourage that.

yeyeosoronga:


That's why it's her body . However, if the man is so averse to having children, then snip it away. Thank goodness things are changing, and people are being made to face their responsibilities. The unborn child remains the responsibility of both people who gave it life including the man who got its mother pregnant. A woman may take a lion's share in looking after a pregnancy, because whatever she does affects the baby, but the dynamics change when you have a livebirth.
OP, you should have your baby first before all this noise. Go to the courts and let them order a DNA test. Once that's sorted and he is established as the father, the child becomes his responsibility.

I wish her good luck. It is the poor child that will suffer in all this.
Rejected by dad and very possibly resented by the same mother after all is said and done if the guy doesn't come through.

Deji63:


My btother you be learner?

You never see where woman go say she take postinor 2 still get belle? Best bet if you dont want to screw yourself up is abstain, use protection always or only go raw when you know you can marry her.

That's how to stay safe.

For me, abortion is tantamount to murder so its a no no. I dont encourage that.

Yes, we see the.those who spit it out because, like the op, they want to bear someones pikin. This was a one night stand, not a week long marathon.

People don't like abortion, but also do not like taking care of the armies of neglected children in this country.

ornicus:


That is the issue here. The woman deliberately refused to follow through.

She could have taken postinor 2,she could have gotten an abortion. All those considered she wants to be baby mama /wife by force. She is not a small pikin with no access to safe methods of termination.

Is abortion legal in Nigeria? How do you know she has access to safe abortion? What if her beliefs are against abortion? She may be a pro lifer, and believe it is murder. She has a right to her beliefs.
You shouldn't have postinor more than 2ce in a month, and I'm sure they were quaffing steadily and definitely more than 2ce a month. Who uses postinor as a form of family planning if not ignorant people? It's an EMERGENCY contraception and shouldn't be used anyhow. This is for those who swallow postinor like pure water, you're just messing up your hormones and inviting all sorts of disorders into your lives. Even oyibo that brought it don't try the nonsense people try with positnor. It's high time all these meds/ things are regulated

Deepfeel:


The both of them are stupid cause having unprotected sex with someone you are not married to is risky it could have been worse apart from pregnancy STDS are there to watch out for, 500K to start with ?haba this is Nigeria things don't work like that, I have seen court divorcing married couples with 3 kids giving custody of the kids to the mother, placing the father on child support of just 10k a month

I blame both of them.But then the bigger blame goes to the man.He already has got baggages, he should be the smarter one here, knowing how women can be , especially single ladies.He played with her feelings, lied to her , knockesd her up and now he wants to bail

That lady need to contact me, i have a good doctor friend that can bill her that muxh in his private clinic in VI.By the time him pay hospital bills alone, him eye go clear

bukatyne:


Hmmmmmmmmm

Fraud kwa?

Can call it fraud or anything, She should do that. Let the guy pay through his teeth.

nkwuocha:


I blame both of them.But then the bigger blame goes to the man.He already has got baggages, he should be the smarter one here, knowing how women can be , especially single ladies.He played with her feelings, lied to her , knockesd her up and now he wants to bail

That lady need to contact me, i have a good doctor friend that can bill her that muxh in his private clinic in VI.By the time him pay hospital bills alone, him eye go clear

What if he refuses to pay and keeps denying that the child is not his till a DNA is done before he will spend Kobo

yeyeosoronga:


Is abortion legal in Nigeria? How do you know she has access to safe abortion? What if her beliefs are against abortion? She may be a pro lifer, and believe it is murder. She has a right to her beliefs.
You shouldn't have postinor more than 2ce in a month, and I'm sure they were quaffing steadily and definitely more than 2ce a month. Who uses postinor as a form of family planning if not ignorant people? It's an EMERGENCY contraception and shouldn't be used anyhow. This is for those who swallow postinor like pure water, you're just messing up your hormones and inviting all sorts of disorders into your lives. Even oyibo that brought it don't try the nonsense people try with positnor. It's high time all these meds/ things are regulated

The moment she chose to fornicate I think those religious beliefs went out the window

Add adultery to the mix

Then Remember that it was a one night stand, if I'm not mistaken.

ornicus:


oga, stop encouraging FRAUD. this is EXACTLY the problem with Nigerians. so lets say the guy is able to investigate, or even come to this thread and prove conclusively that the woman FORGED medical documents, then it becomes clear she is nothing but an extortionist and teh entire story will change.

it seems you are already seeing the unborn child as a meal ticket to be used to make repeated demands

let me tell you how that can also go. the man keeps paying money, then one day he goes to a judge with all the receipts and says this woman is an unfit mother; she squanders etc etc. this is nigeria, the guy gets custody of the child who now becomes a second class citizen in the man's house. naija women are wicked like that.

in the end the loser in all this is the child to this foolish woman who decided to turn a one night stand into a lifetime attachment

I dont think this case at this point needs any atom of moral compass.A fraud like himself should be seriously dealt with.The unborn child is already a meal ticket.Look, I'm not here to sugarcoat anything. When i say she should run him down, it includes stripping him off of everything left of him.

If she likes make she dey dull.

Deepfeel:

What if he refuses to pay and keeps denying that the child is not his till a DNA is done before he will spend Kobo

No problem, when the DNA is out he will still pay na.Na just delay, but he go still pay las las

nkwuocha:


I dont think this case at this point needs any atom of moral compass.A fraud like himself should be seriously dealt with.The unborn child is already a meal ticket.Look, I'm not here to sugarcoat anything. When i say she should run him down, it includes stripping him off of everything left of him.

If she likes make she dey dull.

Lying to have sex is not fraud
Men and women do it all the time in different ways.

You have been watching too much oyibo tv. This is Nigeria
It is a patrichal society. If you're thinking she will be hammering big chunks of the man's income as child support, you are on a very long thing.

nkwuocha:


No problem, when the DNA is out he will still pay na.Na just delay, but he go still pay las las

Las las they will just place him on a child support allowance of 10-20k the lady will still suffer more you know

[quote]He was living with a lady before we started talking. The lady moved out. He jumps from club to club and ladies to ladies.Caught him more than 3 times. I told my friend all these and the reply he gave her when she queried him was that the lady cheated on him and he told her to go.
7. This is not about money. It is about him doing what is right. I am ready for any test or DNA just to prove to the fool that he baby is his. [/quote ]

Just FYI.

I think it should be clear now that the op is just stoopid. She walked into this with her eyes and vagina wide open. I was even think3the guy was husband material. Na real wa.

ornicus:


is the woman a small child who cannot take any responsibility for her actions?
[s]
this is what feminism is supposed to be about. total emancipation and responsibility. [/s]

the man is not interested in having a child with her. he said so and made it clear - and she is still forcing it on him.

unprotected sex is a two way street. this is not about the morality/slut shaming.

mistakes happen. i can guarantee if this lady had thought this guy was not husband material or someone that could not be coerced into marriage, she would have sorted herself out. as it is, she ultimately has the most to lose in this scenario.

was there a mutual agreement that they would raise a child?

was there any commitment from the guy in this regard?

you cannot just impose a decision to raise a human being on a person.

all those area boys you see running around, that is why they are there, because someone was foolish enough to refuse to face the reality that the resources were not available

in the end, the guy will pay what he can afford. if it is not enough, what happens next? another disadvantaged pikin, unwanted by his father, and possibly resented by the mother.

this is not obodo oyibo where laws are over skewed towards women. this is naija where laws are skewed towards men.

this is about a woman unilaterally taking a decision bring a human being into the world - and then trying to drag an unwilling participant into it.





women are not stupid like that. especially naija women. they know exactly whats up. for whatever reason, too many of them are content to become concubines or second wives. that is all this is as far as i am concerned.

as others have said - a woman scorned. anyway fir the guy, he better go and find his own maury.

Look, I come from a very responsible family setting, forgive me if i find some certain things irritating.


I had to boldly rubbish your "feminism" sentence because i noticed many if you here use that to slut shane women, even when its absolutely not necessary.

A man is FULLY responsible for any PREGNANCY he committed, it DOESN'T matter if his intention was never to have a baby.ANYMAN that sleeos without a woman without protection MUST be ready to accept whatever consequences thereof....

I absolve the lady of any serios blame when i realise that she is not even aware he is a married man.Guy, we know how e be, many men are adulterous.Around me, you see very wealtgy ones sleeping around but cases like this hardly comes by.Its all this one-room lowlives, you see creating more nuisances in the society despite their limited resources.

"Unliterally taking a decision to bring a child?Na she fuk herself?So you want her to abort the child?And what if she dies in the process?Are you aware that even if(God forbid) she dies at childbirth, this guy is also in serious problem?


If we all know tgat nigerian women are desperate why then my guy man go looseguard?Him comot nylon lick sweet now hom dey complain of stomach ache.

Finally, to me the lady is lenient.She just got a foul mouth, thats all.There are some " strong " minded ladies that he wont try this and still standing on his feet.For a lady who stays in Ikorodu, Ijebu ode environs, and the guy still dey waka, She has a good heart.

Deepfeel:

Las las they will just place him on a child support allowance of 10-20k the lady will still suffer more you know

As long as he pays for child support to qualms.No be naija we dey?Who is having it easy?Even if its one kobo, let him pay.

Poor child, the internet never forgets.

nkwuocha:


Look, I come from a very responsible family setting, forgive me if i find some certain things irritating.


I had to boldly rubbish your "feminism" sentence because i noticed many if you here use that to slut shane women, even when its absolutely not necessary.

A man is FULLY responsible for any PREGNANCY he committed, it DOESN'T matter if his intention was never to have a baby.ANYMAN that sleeos without a woman without protection MUST be ready to accept whatever consequences thereof....

I absolve the lady of any serios blame when i realise that she is not even aware he is a married man.Guy, we know how e be, many men are adulterous.Around me, you see very wealtgy ones sleeping around but cases like this hardly comes by.Its all this one-room lowlives, you see creating more nuisances in the society despite their limited resources.

"Unliterally taking a decision to bring a child?Na she fuk herself?So you want her to abort the child?And what if she dies in the process?Are you aware that even if(God forbid) she dies at childbirth, this guy is also in serious problem?


If we all know tgat nigerian women are desperate why then my guy man go looseguard?Him comot nylon lick sweet now hom dey complain of stomach ache.

Finally, to me the lady is lenient.She just got a foul mouth, thats all.There are some " strong " minded ladies that he wont try this and still standing on his feet.For a lady who stays in Ikorodu, Ijebu ode environs, and the guy still dey waka, She has a good heart.

He was living with a lady before we started talking. The lady moved out. He jumps from club to club and ladies to ladies.Caught him more than 3 times. I told my friend all these and the reply he gave her when she queried him was that the lady cheated on him and he told her to go.
7. This is not about money. It is about him doing what is right. I am ready for any test or DNA just to prove to the fool that he baby is his.

That is your innocent victim. What was she expecting?

I have alway been feminist. And for me it is not just about rights but about TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE.

You do not commit pregnancy.

ornicus:


Lying to have sex is not fraud
Men and women do it all the time in different ways.

You have been watching too much oyibo tv. This is Nigeria
It is a patrichal society. If you're thinking she will be hammering big chunks of the man's income as child support, you are on a very long thing.

Who is talking about bog Chucks?Before she concluded her message i already knew already the guy must be this lowlives who are greatly irresponsible.Lying to have sex may not be fraud but its a Lie and lying sometimes may come with hefty consequences.The lie don turn to 8 months, No matter how he runs from it, as long as she takes legal means, he definitely will be mandated to show some level of responsibility.

nkwuocha:


Look, I come from a very responsible family setting, forgive me if i find some certain things irritating.


I had to boldly rubbish your "feminism" sentence because i noticed many if you here use that to slut shane women, even when its absolutely not necessary.

A man is FULLY responsible for any PREGNANCY he committed, it DOESN'T matter if his intention was never to have a baby.ANYMAN that sleeos without a woman without protection MUST be ready to accept whatever consequences thereof....

I absolve the lady of any serios blame when i realise that she is not even aware he is a married man.Guy, we know how e be, many men are adulterous.Around me, you see very wealtgy ones sleeping around but cases like this hardly comes by.Its all this one-room lowlives, you see creating more nuisances in the society despite their limited resources.

"Unliterally taking a decision to bring a child?Na she fuk herself?So you want her to abort the child?And what if she dies in the process?Are you aware that even if(God forbid) she dies at childbirth, this guy is also in serious problem?


If we all know tgat nigerian women are desperate why then my guy man go looseguard?Him comot nylon lick sweet now hom dey complain of stomach ache.

Finally, to me the lady is lenient.She just got a foul mouth, thats all.There are some " strong " minded ladies that he wont try this and still standing on his feet.For a lady who stays in Ikorodu, Ijebu ode environs, and the guy still dey waka, She has a good heart.

@bold:

One of which is not fraud.

ornicus:



That is your innocent victim. What was she expecting?

I have alway been feminist. And for me it is not just about rights but about TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE.

You do not commit pregnancy.

The court wont even waste time to know who was living with what!NO!We are talking about a pregnancy here and not what led to what.There's no time for that.Did he have unprotected sex with her?If he did, a DNA may be conducted and he will be forced to pay.Simple!

I dont care if you're a feminist. There are women who are not!It doesnt make them less irresponsible.Many of you feminists these days are even becoming babymamas just like every other girl.Dont force your doctrine on people.

Deji63:


I bet you won't write this on Annie Idibias page despite her raw raw with Father Abraham Tubaba without being married.

. Both parties are at fault. The dude who wanted no kids ought to have used protection. Contraceptives are not a 100% gurantee for avoiiding pregnancy neither are condoms that could break accidentally.

If you dont love a woman and cant stand having a child with her. Please let her be and go search for your true love elsewhere. Thats the ideal thing to do.

Stop blaming her.

pls stop making excuses for stipudity.the man in question has always been irresponsible.its like u see a mad man!u know he is mad and u still slept with him.
First he had a woman without paying dowry living with him.what do u expect from such a person.you openly choose to be a second fiddle.
Let me tell u something;women have what we call intuition but choose to ignore it due to gain or desperation.
Then again he is sleeping around and u knew.u did not break up.lf he gave her hiv do u think she would say ityou choose to settle for less.less you will get.women need to realize themselves and stop been petty.you see signs he is not the one then why not break up.when u know it will all fall back on you.women need to love themselves more you will see a lady date a man for so many years.las Las he will not marry.when u know as a woman your time ticks.my dear the blame falls on women.so use your brain women.by God's grace I have daughters and I am already grooming them to know their worth.these days girls open their legs without shame.dont be surprised she and her friends had discussed to get preggy that the man will marry her .guy nor try women ooo.i am a woman.whilst the man is living with another woman at home.why did she not consider the one at home.you will see a side chick saying she is in love with a married man.and yet know he is married;if such is done to u how would you feel.she is getting what she planned.why not use CD.do u know women have the highest rate of hiv. this is a man's world.find your feet as a woman.love yourself and never allow yourself to be treated less than u deserve .

bukatyne:


@bold:

One of which is not fraud.

Its not fraud.. its payback time.He is lucky the said lady isnt who i know personally.The guy salary go red!

nkwuocha:


As long as he pays for child support to qualms.No be naija we dey?Who is having it easy?Even if its one kobo, let him pay.

Yes or na naija we dey that's why am more worried about her cause even if the man is forced to be paying child support he might not do it, the system is too F*cked up to follow up such cases, I know of a lawyer barrister Emeka ugwounye founder of the due process advocate, who handle cases like this and follows it up, but the man is in prison in Abuja cause of a sensitive information he posted in public regarding the murder of one of his female client

ornicus:
It takes two to make one, but was the man's decision considered in all this?

This same thing happened to eddie murphy and Mel b. They had a one night stand, she got pregnant, carri2e the baby to term, and then eddie murphy was stuck with child support ( she took him to court).

She had multiple opportunities to terminate the pregnancy, from morning after pill to abortions but she chose to go all the way without the Father's agreement. Now a man who had no interest in being a father is in the first place is being tagged as a deadbeat.

We can call the guy deadbeat etal, but did he take any part in the decision to have the baby?

Our having mutually enjoyable sex does not count as a decision to bring a life that resources are not available for into this world

Jeez how the hell will a man have a one night stand and not use condom? One night stand means "e no go happen again" and "I no go see you again", so why should a man be that careless? When sex is involved, it is a two way thing, anything that happens after is their responsibility, if it is pregnancy and agree for abortion, two of them should foot the bill, if it is pregnancy and she doesn't abort, two of them will take care of the child simple.

Deepfeel:

Yes or na naija we dey that's why am more worried about her cause even if the man is forced to be paying child support he might not do it, the system is too F*cked up to follow up such cases, I know of a lawyer barrister Emeka ugwounye founder of the due process advocate, who handle cases like this and follows it up, but the man is in prison in Abuja cause of a sensitive information he posted in public regarding the murder of one of his female client

Yes! This is naija.The system is fcked like you said.But the bills that will come in early years of the lad, he must participate.Thats one of the most crucial moment in a child's life.