₦airaland Forum

Olanireti:
No it won't be late, afrer all you have responsible right from the onset supporting her financially and emotionally. Just keep sending her money for whatever she needs till she delivers. When she delivers, do the paternity test to ascertain. Then you make your decision after then. Don't feel condemned.

sirdouglas:
What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.

If you can't. Mpa nyem efe dia.

grossintel:
IMO, where you're getting it wrong is your mind! You consider you're self first. You think she doesn't fit your class and status, do you know that some other guy can pick this girl and turn her to gold? When I met the girl I'm dating now she barely had good education, uptil this day she can't write very well because she dropped out of school when she was younger for 5 years! Infact she was a sales girl in one shop, we didn't start off by having sex, I took sometime to understand her and loved her sense of reasoning, she was 21 at that time.

I advised her to return to school, even though her parents can't afford it I promised her I'll help. I did this because I knew she's the girl I want to settle down with, I'm not struggling at all, I earn far more than my peers and considered a Big boy among them.

This girl who used to be a sales girl in one shop is completely transformed and every dick and Harry wants her and this is scary the shiit out of me but then, this is what I wanted. I'm also making plans to leave the country, but not without putting a ring on it. Last week I rented a 3 bedroom apartment, not because I want to get her pregnant and leave but because I want her very comfortable and should incase we have a child, it won't be long before I come back and take her.

You plan your life well, but you use others and fail to include them in your plans. You know you fvcked up, so I won't beat on that, I can't force you to marry her, no one can. But I want to let you know that that girl can be transformed if you invest in her education, she can learn to be the woman you want if you truly want to give her a chance. Jonathan's wife never went to school and can't speak properly, but helped him while he was in school, she took food to him and sacrificed a lot. Jonathan became the president of Nigeria but was never ashamed of his wife!

If you still don't want to marry her, please take full responsibilities of the kids but make sure they are really yours. That's all I can really say.

Chi59:
But then, you'll have daughters in the future. Let's see how much you won't care when karma visits one of them.

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

bdchange:
Hmmmm am sorry if I sound too rude because I don't actually condemn people. See while I was a bit younger let's say about 23yrs. I dated a girl who wouldn't mind getting pregnant even when both of us knew we were not ready. She was a novice and naive because she was younger then, and I was being foolish too. But after few years now comes maturity and responsibility. That is why I am blaming you meticulously. I can't even date a girl now if I don't see her as a potential wife because now I am more mature and I know what I want in life. You are a grown man and I believe you are way older than her. So you should have stood your ground when you know you can't marry her and never allow her sympathy wears on you.well such is life and shiite happens like you said. But make this a lesson never to smell what you won't eat again. Thanks and good luck

Charelsz:
Nigeria women are crazy set of women, i bet you if the reversed was the case, all theses nonsense way you they type, you no go type am

sirdouglas:
Oga is not how far but how well. Now I have seen you arenothing but a kid in adult skin.

What happened to the ten year old baby you impregnated you pervert??

Chi59:
You're the crazy one.

judgementyard:
Your matter just tire me.Will come back and tell u what to do!

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

daddytime:
Go and sit your nonsense ass down.

Go look for oyibo or slay queen marry, when your eye clear na double knee you go take cry come look for this mgbeke.

You are a cunning, deceptive and self-centered predator who fed fat on the naive girls innocence.

You dey look for people wey wan tell you wetin you want hear to justify your actions.

Nonsense an ingredients.

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

Chi59:
But then, you'll have daughters in the future. Let's see how much you won't care when karma visits one of them.

do you even know the meaning of karma? i repeat op should move on with his life. life is so easy but people try to make it complicated it is not must that op must marry the lady, free the guy joor.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

CableWire:
Very unpredictive, unfinding, unstable like water kind of dude.
Please just don't allow me say a prayer for you... You are simply disgusting!
And I just blamed the poor girl for giving so much (2years of her life) to an unsuspecting dog...please take your crap-time and read your piece again.
1. she's not smart
2.Uneducative
3. 19 years *simply not your spec*
4. Doesn't know what she wants
5. Gossip
6. Mummy's girl
7. Doesn't have her own say
8. Undemanding *a juu girl*
9. You don't like her family
10. You hate to marry from her state but never cared to tell us your state....etc

In fact, your list of debate is unending buh you sniffed beyond all these negatives and impregnated her with those loads. Now, you are here lamenting. How many of us here did you consult when you were scooping the cream even on 3semesters?

Guy, just go and own up to your responsibilities or else, you will regret it.

Karma is a female dog with hot red hole!

ImaIma1:
If she is not fit for you to marry, she should not be fit for you to sleep with. Now you have complicated her life and you want to run.

Where do you want her to start from with two children? You probably don't like the idea of marrying a single mother. And you have put her in that status. She has that single mother "Nigerian curse" hanging over her head.

Her family is bad. If she is with you in whatever country, the influence from her mum should be limited and as she grows, she will get wiser. When you decided to date a 19 year old, you should have known it has down sides too.

She could be the way she is...naive and all because of her age. Though there are many smart ladies her age but she is different. You could help develop on that.

You didn't try. You point fingers and say she's not smart. Meanwhile you kept sleeping with her without protection even as you say you don't love her and didn't intend to marry her.

What does that say about you too?

Onyi22:
Bros I swear to God e no go better Wit all ur remaining miserable generation... So after u don Bleep Bleep all the sweetness cormot from her body, u no even stop there, u come put her in the family way n want come abdandon her with the belle ko? I swear u no go make heaven at all...
U know within urself say u no marry her n yet u no gree use Condom because of the sweetness..
Now tell me, this one way u don spoil, na who go come marry her?
Assuming na ur sister n someone else did this to her, how will u feel?
Karmal is a bitch