₦airaland Forum

Malawian:
Eleyi Gidi gan. On a serious note, you said you relate with your kid son as age mates, do you not think that contributed in making him "smarter" than he is supposed to be at such an age? Although the girl is 14, she probably is as wise as an 18 year old boy. What might actually be happening there is two consenting "adults".

There is also the possibility that they might have heard moaning coming from your bedroom, saw you guys in action through the key hole and experimented with what they saw and probably liked it.

About moaning, this girl i brought home was really loud such that the whole compound probably heard her, now whenever i greet any woman in my compound, i notice their eyes stray towards my dignities.

Are you guys loud?

Lol, A 14yrs old girl is not as wise as 18yrs old some people can be more intelligent than their elders, but they are not so many though

Timih:
He is bro.. He's my nigga.. That's why i relate with him as if we are mates

Please stop this nonsense of been best friends with your kids,it's nonsense and extremely foolish.
You're a parent, your duty is to take care of your kids,guide,protect and discipline them when and where necessary. You suspect your 7year old son of been sexually active and you're here droning on and on about how sad you are.
First things first,whoup his ass and your maids ass
Speak to them individually, then collectively
They are both kids and have acted as kids do.
Let them know that what they do is wrong.
Make sure your doors are closed when you're intimate with your wife.

Don't wait till your son gets into serious trouble before you act.

Man up ,be a fathe,be friendly and approachable to your kids,but stop this best friend nonsense.

If you don't discipline your kids now be prepared to cry over them in future.[color=#770077][/color]

From his age.
Think he shuld be in either basic 2 or 3.
I'm a teacher and such case re seen even in nursery classes.

Beating him wnt solve anything.
Talk to him,advice him bk up the advice with sum words frm d bible make him see d consequences of his act,pray for him and get to knw his frnds.
Try to go 2 his school knw those 8 kids he does such act with seperate him frm them.send d maid away.
I dnt think u shuld hide dis kind of issue frm ya wife let her knw abt it.

My childhood my mum doesn't let any silly act exhibitd by me n my siblings to slide by.
She will punish u n then wait for my dad to return frm work.

Before sending the girl out, talk with her and understand the root cause. It could be your boy initiating it all out vice versa.
Secondly have a relaxed atmosphere with your son and let him know you guys will occasionally have man to man talks to help you guide his path in life. Then bring up the issue and have that talk.
What I do is tell them the end effect of that action they've done with visible examples from our society. It will help draw them to reality.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

Situations like this isn't something to bother yourself about. First of all I'll advice you to pray, and pray.

Feed him with the right Christian materials.

Take him to Sunday school, Intact bombard his mind with Christian materials.

And you also have to pray to, about it and give him the necessary advice to unhealthy sexual orientation. You can tell him in the basic level and tell him how God feels about people who do such a thing and before that your son is whole in his mind again.

And I'll be put you in my prayers, I assure you your son won't be destroyed by the evil one. God bless you.

Ishilove:
Oh dear... That ex-maid of yours needs to be jailed. She messed you up.

Manmen

Timih:
. Thank you for this.. He sleeps in my room alongside with my wife, so I'm very sure about him sleeping.. He's even afraid of darkness so there's no way he can crawl out to watch TV even though I keep the remote in a place his hands can't reach.. There's time for him to watch TV.. I don't deny him that.. I just don't watch the TV with him except football.. We watch that together all the time I'm around.. He's still angry about Nigeria's loss to Madagascar sha.. So I just tune in to a cartoon station and off I go with the remote... No way for him to watch any other thing unless they show another thing on the cartoon station

I read your earlier comment on how smart your son is. Are you absolutely certain he didn't pick up some of these sexual habits from seeing you and your wife having coital relations? This is a huge possibility especially when you all sleep in thesame room and bed. What the eyes has seen cannot be unseen and the heart/mind may never forget it.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

A very smart 8yrs old, not allowed to bath himself

This one don happen already, make ur corrections with his siblings.

I've got two of them myself. By five, they were bathing themselves. Though, I or their mom gives them a wash at least 2wice a month.

Seems it's very hard for a young boy, living with a teen girl/unmarried lady not to be sexually assaulted.

Sharp boys in the building.

Cama at work.

Like father, like Son. You don forget when you dey small abi

Well, on a serious note. Paint a picture of what you've seen with your son and ask for his opinion. Let him do move of the talking so you can know how to handle the situation.

Lass lass he will be alright.

DominantMale:
Hi. I sent a pm

Ok

samista:
From the story, it was your son that was assaulting the maid

Spot on

Ishilove:
The beating will be shared all round. Of course, the maid will get the lion's share. However, while dealing with her they should investigate if someone has been molesting her too, or if she is just plain rotten.

You're the very last person I would think to talk like this. See how you're carrying beating beating on your head like Agege bread. What has beating ever solved biko? Later you'll join mouth to criticize parents for not building a good relationship and safe space for their kids to talk to them.

evilive:
Father, you are smarter than most ignoramus you seek advice from. Some of them are so blind they couldn't see what's going on under their roof.

I've had friends with strict religious but blind parents who are real perverts at a tender age while their parents were busy baptizing other people's children up and down.

There is nothing wrong with your son.
There is nothing wrong with your fathering style.
That's the problem with young explorers; they are older than you think.
Remain his friend to understand his feelings, and try not to involve his mother; it will likely boost his trust in your fatherly understanding.

Beating did not work on me, therefore, I will never recommend it.

Word.

Beating will not solve anything, it is just a quick attempt at a fix that will make a parent believe the problem is solved.

I cannot even say what the solution is, but the first thing is to make the child understand that what he and the maid did is wrong and should not repeat itself

The dad will have to interview his son and maybe the maid extensively to find out just how long this has been going on. This will enable the dad to figure out whether the issue was a one off or a full blown habit.

Shygirl1989:
Please stop this nonsense of been best friends with your kids,it's nonsense and extremely foolish.
You're a parent, your duty is to take care of your kids,guide,protect and discipline them when and where necessary. You suspect your 7year old son of been sexually active and you're here droning on and on about how sad you are.
First things first,whoup his ass and your maids ass
Speak to them individually, then collectively
They are both kids and have acted as kids do.
Let them know that what they do is wrong.
Make sure your doors are closed when you're intimate with your wife.

Don't wait till your son gets into serious trouble before you act.

Man up ,be a fathe,be friendly and approachable to your kids,but stop this best friend nonsense.

If you don't discipline your kids now be prepared to cry over them in future.[color=#770077][/color]

Thank you, I wonder why people are telling him not to flog the boy. Seems they have forgotten Prov 22:15.

H

genq:
Good.

But just so you know, that 14 year old girl you employed is a CHILD just as your son is. It could very much be a mutual affair between them.

I know your madam will beat that girl once she hears of it but I must warn you that if she lays a hand on that girl child, she will never know joy over her own children. Mark my words.

I'm just warning you ahead of time. Protect and guide that girl like she is your own. If your wife cannot correct her in love, then send her back peacefully.

14 is not too young to talk to. Let her be guided and sent away

@misterpresident

adontcare:
14 is not too young to talk to. Let her be guided and sent away

14 years children for north dey carry belle self.

bro as a matter of urgency have your son tested for STDs so you can have peace of mind that your (should be former by now) housemaid hasn't infected him with anything. Also inform the agent or whoever offered the housemaid to you to work with about what she was up to with your son. she might also be a victim of sexual abuse from wherever she came from and would need counselling.

have that talk with your son let him know you saw what he did and why it's wrong. encourage him to tell you everything that happened between him and your ex-housemaid explaining to him that you will not get angry. his mother your wife has a right to know what has been happening please find a time and place to tell her. pray God will give you wisdom on how to break the news to her so she will not over react and punish your son harshly.

most importantly look for a good therapist your child will also need counselling.

side note if you intend on hiring housemaids in the future please try and hire ones older than 18 years because hiring an underage househelp is also a form of child abuse

wish you all the best and blessings to your family

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

crazygod:
Dude e be like say u wan spoil d boy. Na naija u dey o not abroad. By the wlay, how can an 8 year old boy not bath himself

Same question I wanted to ask too.

This nonsense started from when she was bathing the boy and and I am sure one day in the process of bathing ,the boy got aroused and the pen.is got erected and the girl too was aroused .

I tell you it started this way.The next thing , affection for the pen.is got into the girl mind .Even my one year old boy pen.is got erected early in the morning much more of a teenager touching and stimulating a 7- year old boy pen.is in the name of bathing .

My advice ...Send the girl packing and beat the boy and later talk to him.

I hope the lady have not had sex with him or vice versa but u can get this info .from the girl and your son too

Unfortunately beating won't solve anything. Simply lovely have a talk with him, admonish him. For the maid, punish her sensibly.


Disadvantages of television for kids. It's even possible he's see his parents doing the nasty and trying to imitate with d help.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

I feel like flogging you and weeping at the same time!

How can you think that your son`s smartness made him sexually aware?

Your househelp taught him!
She has been teaching him to rub her boobs!
When you both are not at home, when you both are not looking!!!

Scripture says, "Foolishness abounds in the heart of a child but THE ROD OF DISCIPLINE drives foolishness far away from him". Proverbs 22:15KJV
Do you know what rod of discipline is? IT IS CANE!!!
You need to call them both in front of eachother and the Mum, tell them what you saw.
Then proceed to flog them first, telling him why it is wrong and why you are flogging him.

Then go and get wire (Don`t ever use it on any of them),
threaten to flog them mercilessly with it if they do not confess.
All the while, let your gaze be on your son.
Threaten him to confess or get whipped, he will spill it out, (if you flogged him well with the cane initially).

And stop acting stupid, your son is not your guyman BUT YOUR SON!
He is to be seen as a gift of God, that needs to be trained by you his parent!
He is not your guy man BUT YOUR SON.
Train him, discipline him!
Bring him up under your watchful eye.

Which house hires househelps these days without CCTV, ehn??
Let your Madam warn the houshelp never to tie wrapper or walk naked around the house so the camera does not capture it.

Someone wants to ruin your child`s destiny, you are there doing yen yen yen

AwkaetitiBabe:
Unfortunately beating won't solve anything. Simply lovely have a talk with him, admonish him. For the maid, punish her sensibly.


Disadvantages of television for kids. It's even possible he's see his parents doing the nasty and trying to imitate with d help.

he should punish the maid sensibly, and leave the boy sensibly, that's good.

Joystark:
Lol... abi future of the country is at stake like this...

Ah.. Yes oo.. 8 year old boy is already pressing bobi like no tmrw.. Haba na.. I plan on having a daughter.

Timih:
He is bro.. He's my nigga.. That's why i relate with him as if we are mates

he is not your bro, your nigga, or your homie, he is your son, not your agemate. all that terminology is the language deadbeat dads use to address their children so that they feel relevant. you are not a deadbeat dad, i am sure all these 'degrading terms' contribute to his behavior, he is acting like a nigga and homie because his father calls him such at home. you are his father before his friend. Blurring the lines shows that you are a permissive parent which isn't good.

on to the matter, others have given you good advice, talk to the son and the maid,if you are flogging anyone, flog them both equally because it takes two to tango. Also look into his school friends, does he roll with seniors, does he watch music videos. Keep reinforcing and tell him that touching a girl like can get her pregnant and that means he has to marry her. Just be more vigilant with your kids.

one more thing have him, your maid and other children tested for STDs and HIV. especially gonorrhoea, syphillis, herpes.

comtem2011:
he should punish the maid sensibly, and leave the boy sensibly, that's good.

Well, I'm not a believer of corporal punishment.

ifex370:
Ah.. Yes oo.. 8 year old boy is already pressing bobi like no tmrw.. Haba na.. I plan on having a daughter.

And d daughter's kini will be pressed if you don't protect her well. That's just how it is. Go and investigate what these secondary school kids do and you'll marvel.

paroh137:
You're the very last person I would think to talk like this. See how you're carrying beating beating on your head like Agege bread. What has beating ever solved biko? Later you'll join mouth to criticize parents for not building a good relationship and safe space for their kids to talk to them.

Some parents don't even know they are actually psychologically bruising their kids by flogging them. Child falls instead of hug and love you see them shouting and beating the child.... Flogging will only repress cos of possible fear but at d slightest freedom, a perv is reborn.

AwkaetitiBabe:
And d daughter's kini will be pressed if you don't protect her well. That's just how it is. Go and investigate what these secondary school kids do and you'll marvel.

Lol... I've been hearing oo.. Please everybody, just hold your child well oo.. Nobody should come and become a nuisance to other peoples children.

ifex370:
Lol... I've been hearing oo.. Please everybody, just hold your child well oo.. Nobody should come and become a nuisance to other peoples children.

Buhhahahahhaha.... Very funny