₦airaland Forum

franchasng:
romantic love is a fallacy, please note that!!


True love has no condition.

But in the scenario you gave above, she may have rejected the rich guy out of fear that he maybe a ritualist or a cheat or a playboy who will cheat on her or beat her, or just scared of rich guys. Some poor ladies are usually scared of marrying rich guys thinking he may use them for money ritual.

So she settled for the broke guy she is comfortable with hoping that he will become successful in future.

There is no selfless, non conditional romantic love anywhere

pocohantas:
I don't care either. Whichever way it is, it has nothing to do with if the other person offered nothing besides love.

Jewingle:
i just read this comment and just smiled to myself. Truth of the matter is just as you said, most people are very selfish and only cared about themselves . I dated a girl while in school for several years and I can’t count the number of times she has help me when times where tough. To the point we practically started living together to save rent because she sacrificed her rent when I couldn’t come up with mine. I would say she was a blessing that period to me because for two years when I was dead broke she was there. Things where very difficult for me to the point she have to sacrifice buying things for her self like makeups, cloths and shoes so we could just have atleast two square meal each day for the rest of the week until she gets her monthly upkeep money.
She was just 19 I was 23. Long story cut short, she got tired towards her final year and wanted breaking up because everything was unbearable for her and also felt at the end I won’t even marry her so why killing herself. I felt she discussed with her friends and they advised her, couple with my own issues too. A broke guy is always angry and has low self esteem because even when ur girl is faithful, u would always think she’s cheating on you. We began having little issues and stuffs and finally she left. She never cheated while we where together. I was hurt and devastated because she left at my most vulnerable time.
After several months, things where back to normal for me. Most guys would never ever remember her again but I still remember all the good times we had and how she has always been there even though she didn’t stay till the end. She has her own girls issues too but she was there financially, emotionally and psychologically.
Till date we still communicate and I send her cash sometimes because I know it’s not easy.
Right now I’m really confused if I still love her or I’m just being caring and nice to her out of pity because of the times we had been together and how she practically saved my sorry as for years.
And for if she loves me, yes that girl still loves me but I don’t want to marry out of self pity. I’m just a confused guy honestly.

seanwilliam:
did she contribute anytin to beta the guy's life?

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
It is sad seeing how everything in this country has to be about money, no wonder people resort to Yahoo Yahoo, prostitution and rituals and in spite of that many people in the typical nigerian society hail them. I said she stood by and encouraged the guy and you are asking me if she contributed anything to the guy's life, so if a girl does not give a grown ass man money, she has not given him anything?

AstroG:
That was how one girl said that she stood by me when I was still broke. I asked her,what tangible thing did you do for me asides sex(that both of us enjoyed) she started stammering,started crying. I told her these ur tears na crocodile tears ooooh. Besides that,I had earlier told her to go and find something doing yrs back but she declined.

Naija bitches are Leeches,looking for who to perch on.


Hahahaha,,,,,,,,walahi naija girls loves this line,,even though they've gat nothing to offer,,,,

eni4real:
What about the psychological support and the peace of mind she offers??

babakb:
You should have asked him what the stupid guy contributed to her life too?

Honestly i blame girls that fall for this relationship thing, boys will use them and still blame the for using them.

lilmax:
all this yeye topics

its still guys that will tell the first girl not to leave them for a guy who can build them

the idea of a girlfriend while most of you struggle is because of sex

now why can't guys struggle on their own and marry someone who's accomplished as them?

if you find out a girl isn't building herself while you build too, its better you let her go immediately



you guys should take a seat

pocohantas:
I expected your response. When you push aside the woman who built with you and marry a younger one to make her first lady or controller of your estate. That isn't abandonment ba?

If I abandon my broke bf who contributed nothing but prick and love. He will run to NL to create thread, telling everyone who cares to listen how I dumped him after getting a good job.

The general consensus would be how women can't handle power and/or how they change when they see small money. It will never be how he contributed nothing besides love and no sane woman would abandon a man who helped build her.

Abandonment is abandonment, be it taking additional wives or total cut off. Neither of them was the initial plan when you had nothing.

King44:
If we are dating but dreaming different I drop you.

How could a lady or guy claim he/she stood by somebody and they are not helping each other grow, you can't help financially OK let assume no money normal, intellectual wise, if we are together we can't support each other aside the love what the essence of keeping the relationship, just imagine you hustling you have a girl or a guy who loves you but just lazy,intellect lazy and has no dreams she is working towards n after some years u made it dumped him or her now he or she is claiming I stood by u, u stood by who? I will dump you on earth if we peradventure meet in heaven I will dump your ass over and over

PoliticalChinex:
i didnt date her for long and it was a long distance thing. She was the one kind of being desperate and imposing herself on me coz at that time i was more concern with upgrading myself than relationships.

1x2x3:
Only those who are empty use that line "I Stood By You When you had nothing" those who know their worth will count it as your loss....... In fact a man will even be scared of leaving a supportive woman.

1x2x3:
So last night a female friend of mine posted this question below.

Who would a guy choose between a girl who loved him while he was nothing and a girl who made him what he is today?

Below is my response to such misconstrued thinking of some ladies who play victims.


Okay let me clarify a bit. When a girl says she loved you when you were nothing I tend to wonder what the girl was at that moment. If you look closer she may be nothing financially and intellectually as well. I mean both of them were nothing while loving each other.

On the flip side there are situations a girl with financial and intellectual capability can be in love with a broke guy. She stays because she believes in him and to help him build till he becomes the person of his dreams.

In both examples.... Both girls stood by the guy while he was nothing right?

In first instance, the girl was just there standing in the relationship with nothing to offer as well besides love. The opposite of this is two people who fell in love while they are both rich.

In the second instance, she is in love with you even when she had the opportunity to go for someone better, she put in her effort and all to build the guy till he became who he wants to be.

Every sane person will choose the second girl. The first girl will only play victim and may not be able to pay the sacrifices the second girl paid if she was richer.

What do you guys think?

Fountainofyouth:
There is nothing like any misconception about it, sticking to someone should be sticking with someone regardless of when the outcome changes, for a lady to stick to a guy when he had nothing doesn't mean she didn't have other options, she chose to stay because she believed in both of them not just the man same with a man sticking with his woman,

We have cases of people who have been together from a very tender age till adulthood, and at the end, they got married regardless of how rich or poor or stagnant things turned out to be, deep real LOVE supercedes money, appreciate a loved one who stayed despite all else, if you both didn't end up together, compensate him/her to show the person how important he/she was to you.

GRACEGLORY:
So, if the girl happens to be broke as you, and you eventually made it, she hasn't played any tangible role bah!

In the environment where I live, they have an adage which says, "giving money isn't equal to giving yourself."

Biblically, even culturally, women majorly plays the of "help meet," as designed by GOD. Help meet' role among many are: "spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological, sociological, and many more...

A guy's got no job, his woman looks him straight in the eyes, and says, "bae, I see you as no jobless man, but a man waiting for the best of job to come." She brings out garrie and kuli kuli which she stole from her mother's basket that she hid under the bed, and you drink, the guy gets filled, and has an erection, he pokes the broke girl, and he remains good through the day peeing cassava water everywhere.

Same girl comes around, washes his clothes, and cleanses his 2/2 tiny pit he calls a room while he plays draft under the pawpaw tree as he sips rum, and kisses his claro and puffs into the air. He gets back to same pit of his room, eats stale fufu as hard as coconut with bitter leave soup, and ponmo, all stolen from her mother again... This goes on till he gets a good job, and he begins to wear coat, after two years omo boy begins to wear suit. And suddenly, he buys 4matic, now he's got potbelly like some 3 year old female pig.

So, one day, he says to the girl, how did you stand by me.

Oga, if bullet no catch you, I swear down, arrow will, and if you escape arrow, catapult won't miss you, and if it eventually missed, believe me, Karma is smarter.

Try to be broke, and have your woman walk out of your life after a couple of years... then, you'd understand by experience.

1x2x3:
Exactly the point. No sane man would leave a woman that helped them build. They will always leave the one who had nothing to offer.

Jewingle:
i just read this comment and just smiled to myself. Truth of the matter is just as you said, most people are very selfish and only cared about themselves . I dated a girl while in school for several years and I can’t count the number of times she has help me when times where tough. To the point we practically started living together to save rent because she sacrificed her rent when I couldn’t come up with mine. I would say she was a blessing that period to me because for two years when I was dead broke she was there. Things where very difficult for me to the point she have to sacrifice buying things for her self like makeups, cloths and shoes so we could just have atleast two square meal each day for the rest of the week until she gets her monthly upkeep money.
She was just 19 I was 23. Long story cut short, she got tired towards her final year and wanted breaking up because everything was unbearable for her and also felt at the end I won’t even marry her so why killing herself. I felt she discussed with her friends and they advised her, couple with my own issues too. A broke guy is always angry and has low self esteem because even when ur girl is faithful, u would always think she’s cheating on you. We began having little issues and stuffs and finally she left. She never cheated while we where together. I was hurt and devastated because she left at my most vulnerable time.
After several months, things where back to normal for me. Most guys would never ever remember her again but I still remember all the good times we had and how she has always been there even though she didn’t stay till the end. She has her own girls issues too but she was there financially, emotionally and psychologically.
Till date we still communicate and I send her cash sometimes because I know it’s not easy.
Right now I’m really confused if I still love her or I’m just being caring and nice to her out of pity because of the times we had been together and how she practically saved my sorry as for years.
And for if she loves me, yes that girl still loves me but I don’t want to marry out of self pity. I’m just a confused guy honestly.

1x2x3:
So last night a female friend of mine posted this question below.

Who would a guy choose between a girl who loved him while he was nothing and a girl who made him what he is today?

Below is my response to such misconstrued thinking of some ladies who play victims.


Okay let me clarify a bit. When a girl says she loved you when you were nothing I tend to wonder what the girl was at that moment. If you look closer she may be nothing financially and intellectually as well. I mean both of them were nothing while loving each other.

On the flip side there are situations a girl with financial and intellectual capability can be in love with a broke guy. She stays because she believes in him and to help him build till he becomes the person of his dreams.

In both examples.... Both girls stood by the guy while he was nothing right?

In first instance, the girl was just there standing in the relationship with nothing to offer as well besides love. The opposite of this is two people who fell in love while they are both rich.

In the second instance, she is in love with you even when she had the opportunity to go for someone better, she put in her effort and all to build the guy till he became who he wants to be.

Every sane person will choose the second girl. The first girl will only play victim and may not be able to pay the sacrifices the second girl paid if she was richer.

What do you guys think?

babakb:
I'm married with 3 years experience so i would tell you straight:

Marry a lady that loves you more than you love her.

What you feel for this girl is not pity, it's still love, your mind is just playing tricks on you.

Real faithful and decent girls are hard to find, don't let one pass you by.

GRACEGLORY:
So, if the girl happens to be broke as you, and you eventually made it, she hasn't played any tangible role bah!

In the environment where I live, they have an adage which says, "giving money isn't equal to giving yourself."

Biblically, even culturally, women majorly plays the of "help meet," as designed by GOD. Help meet' role among many are: "spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological, sociological, and many more...

A guy's got no job, his woman looks him straight in the eyes, and says, "bae, I see you as no jobless man, but a man waiting for the best of job to come." She brings out garrie and kuli kuli which she stole from her mother's basket that she hid under the bed, and you drink, the guy gets filled, and has an erection, he pokes the broke girl, and he remains good through the day peeing cassava water everywhere.

Same girl comes around, washes his clothes, and cleanses his 2/2 tiny pit he calls a room while he plays draft under the pawpaw tree as he sips rum, and kisses his claro and puffs into the air. He gets back to same pit of his room, eats stale fufu as hard as coconut with bitter leave soup, and ponmo, all stolen from her mother again... This goes on till he gets a good job, and he begins to wear coat, after two years omo boy begins to wear suit. And suddenly, he buys 4matic, now he's got potbelly like some 3 year old female pig.

So, one day, he says to the girl, how did you stand by me.

Oga, if bullet no catch you, I swear down, arrow will, and if you escape arrow, catapult won't miss you, and if it eventually missed, believe me, Karma is smarter.

Try to be broke, and have your woman walk out of your life after a couple of years... then, you'd understand by experience.

LordAdam16:
I can't say if you still love her, that's not an emotion I've ever had. But I can say for a fact that it's totally okay to care and be nice to her because you're grateful.

Many folks do same for parents and close friends for the exact same reason. If a guy friend had done same for you (excluding the sex part, obviously), you wouldn't really be calling it caring out of pity. You'd simply call it appreciation. And if you don't help, anyone who had a first hand knowledge would call you ungrateful or a "bad" person.

If I'm to advice you, do something tangible for her that in your mind would even the scale (if you have the means). Whether that is partly (or fully) providing capital to start a business, a lump sum that she can set away, or partly sponsoring her to do a graduate degree; or anything else really with input from her end. This should keep the 'pity' thingy in check.

As for the marriage question, I don't believe in the institution so I'd rather keep my opinion to myself.

All the best.

-Lord

seniorgozman:
When OBJ was in prison, it was only Stella that visited him through out that period

1x2x3:
Lol... Like wtf. I won't even stop her or cry afterwards. There's no need playing victim.

loswhite:
you don't know about love...the only thing in your coconut head is sex

truthsayer009:
I second this. Very True.

1x2x3:
Mr lover boy......Relationship and Marriage is far more than love. If you sit there without applying your sense then that thing you call love can send you to your grave.

I've experienced enough to know when to let who want to go to leave and when to keep holding. Holding who wants to leave isn't love but foolishness.