₦airaland Forum

Backfornow:
I just sit back and watch these discussions quietly whilst gathering intel.

Some of you guys will go into these "relationships" trying to get something for nothing and then turn around and get BIG MAD when you are equally played. And then spout, "a katas are no good blah blah blah" with moral high ground, when the very same lot of you are promoting deception and how to get over on others including the US Government. The nerve...

Ugosample:
no mind them

deception is never the way to go

You either be genuine
or let her know what's up from day 1 (tho not ideal)

trickery is not fair

Beautyaddy:
Hmmm...not to sound as if one encouraging bad behavior but how many people like to hear the bitter truth at times.

Confessing to an American women or men in some cases that you're only having the relationship with them because you need them just for getting a green card and once you've achieved it you're out of such a relationship...

How many genuine people will be able to pull through with such a confession?...little to none.

Most times the truth might sound bitter but how many people are really ready to hear it.

Beautyaddy:
Hmmm...not to sound as if one encouraging bad behavior but how many people like to hear the bitter truth at times.

Confessing to an American women or men in some cases that you're only having the relationship with them because you need them just for getting a green card and once you've achieved it you're out of such a relationship...

How many genuine people will be able to pull through with such a confession?...little to none.

Most times the truth might sound bitter but how many people are really ready to hear it.

Beautyaddy:
Triplets!...wow!...that's a lot of expenses to handle in one stand.

And to now add all that expenses he has to dish out all by himself for the next 18 years?...hmmm!

Moreover, I really think that if your friend was in any doubt that those kids were not his he would have already gotten the DNA done before subjecting himself to all the expenses he's now faced with to pay child support for three kids.

Blastedholligan:
There's this sweet Akata I met on fb, we are getting along well and she's thinking we could spend our lives together. She's a single mother of one, older than me with one year and a medical assistant.

Now the problem is, she doesn't really earn too much and she has accumulated alot of loans that could amount to 50k dols and she wants to acquire another to study at the University for 4years, calculating all these could amount to like 150k dols and I've not even talked about my own cos I'll have to sponsor myself through school.

Another issue is that I don't think I'm really ready to settle down cos I really need to hustle and make money to help my family if I eventually travel before marrying and I intend on doing a course here in Nigeria for Digital Marketing to help me secure a nice job.

My problem now is, I'm scared of marrying someone who has acquired these loans cos Las Las na me go still follow pay wetin I no sabi.

Please, I need a clear guide on what I should do cos I don't wanna be selfish here with her by using her to get to the USA, I'm very willing to let go of her if I have very good reasons to.

Pardon my scattered words.

chukwuibuipob:
dnt allow Satan to fill ur eardrum with Spirit of deaf N Dumb.U have sincere/open lady.Who told u dat she won't pay up her debt? Dnt let diz opportunity slip from U.Wen u get there,(by His Grace.I pray for ur open door) .U'll work and assist her to pay part of d debt(to show appreciation) .Dnt listen to those shouting SLAVES. God didn't created u a slave.Block ur ears to NEGATIVE pipu..GO FOR IT

LordKO:
Don't marry her based on the material things you can gain from her (and vice versa). As for her loans, both accumulated and yet-to-be accumulated, the repayment plan she's in place will go a long way to determine your final decision.

stevio:
You said "She's a sweet Akata",my question is,Have you tasted her before? If you think with your Dickson,you might make some mistakes.

Blastedholligan:
Thanks boss. Please help push this to FP so I can get more views people.

Blastedholligan:
Thanks alot for your input boss. I've known her for a little bit and I can say she's a very nice person, she's a nice person. As regards your point 4, what if I travel with a tourist visa, can I also get married to her there? And possibly work my papers out? I also learnt of this k1 visa, can I get something doing while I hold sure visa?

Nostradamus:
I hope the o.p. is not chatting with one yeye boy somewhere?(because these boys are very cunning,when they know one format has expired,they quickly come up with another.if white pics expire, akata go do.if akata expire,maybe na to use atiku picture).

Onyinyechiakata:
WOW LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE !
THIS IS YOUR ONYINYECHI SWEET "AKATA " you speak of I am across the world and have stumbled upon
A whole forum bashing and judging me about making a better living for MYSELF IN MY country!
How could you tell me to MAKE DECISIONS for myself when I shared with you about my people accusing you of being a user and scam! Because you are from Nigeria! I didn't listen I followed my heart I made a decision to use my VERY OWN JUDGEMENT , I listened to what you said and respected your wishes all for you to turn around behind my back and do the very same as me except its from COMPLETE ICOMPENTENT and IGNORANT TROLLS , you value these opinions !?? YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT Finance , money and opportunity not once saying you love me .. the username Byron asked if you did IN FACT LOVE ME and YOU couldn't even answer! That is what marriage is about LOVE ! I fell in love because I thought you were so different ... not looking to use me but I see I was so wrong ! YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA what its like to be an AMERICAN so really all your opinions do not matter. I have not committed a crime ! I simply did what was best for my future. If you all had the chance you would ! How do you think you can afford school here , YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING MOVING HERE.I was willing to go after OUR DREAMS we talked about together! I DIGRESS I am appalled in this community. My family and friends were right after all I wont say this about all of NIGERIA but I FELL IN LOVE WITH A SCAM !
I could be so DIRTY and EXPOSE WHO YOU REALLY ARE! EXPOSE SECRETS AND FLAWS YOU WANTED ME TO ACCEPT AND I DID BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and still care.! AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM YOU! PATHETIC! AS FOR ALL YOU STUPID JUDMENTAL PEOPLE I PRAY YOU GET A LIFE AND EDUCATE BEFORE JUDGING !

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!

Onyinyechiakata:
WOW LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE !
THIS IS YOUR ONYINYECHI SWEET "AKATA " you speak of I am across the world and have stumbled upon
A whole forum bashing and judging me about making a better living for MYSELF IN MY country!
How could you tell me to MAKE DECISIONS for myself when I shared with you about my people accusing you of being a user and scam! Because you are from Nigeria! I didn't listen I followed my heart I made a decision to use my VERY OWN JUDGEMENT , I listened to what you said and respected your wishes all for you to turn around behind my back and do the very same as me except its from COMPLETE ICOMPENTENT and IGNORANT TROLLS , you value these opinions !?? YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT Finance , money and opportunity not once saying you love me .. the username Byron asked if you did IN FACT LOVE ME and YOU couldn't even answer! That is what marriage is about LOVE ! I fell in love because I thought you were so different ... not looking to use me but I see I was so wrong ! YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA what its like to be an AMERICAN so really all your opinions do not matter. I have not committed a crime ! I simply did what was best for my future. If you all had the chance you would ! How do you think you can afford school here , YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING MOVING HERE.I was willing to go after OUR DREAMS we talked about together! I DIGRESS I am appalled in this community. My family and friends were right after all I wont say this about all of NIGERIA but I FELL IN LOVE WITH A SCAM !
I could be so DIRTY and EXPOSE WHO YOU REALLY ARE! EXPOSE SECRETS AND FLAWS YOU WANTED ME TO ACCEPT AND I DID BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and still care.! AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM YOU! PATHETIC! AS FOR ALL YOU STUPID JUDMENTAL PEOPLE I PRAY YOU GET A LIFE AND EDUCATE BEFORE JUDGING !

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!

BiggyB242:
I thought you were dealing with a white woman I would have advice you to ride on without thinking twice but African American them wise like Naija babe and they lie a lot, from my experience with various they are very stingy.

byrron:
That's a generalization that is not backed up with facts, just like most foreigners sees all Nigerians as criminals which is also a foolish generalization.

My younger brother is married to an Akata that is Heading the HR department of her organization and my brother that just came here barely 3 years ago has gone all over the world courtesy of his akata wife compared to me that has been here before he came.

There are good and bad people everywhere my brother.

It is most preferable to marry the educated and enlightened one's amongst them though.

kroger:
I was refering to the OP particular situation.. The said lady is a medical assistant earning Approximately $15 to $18 an hour, with a kid and debts. I have witnessed scenarios like this, she will so depend on the guy financially. Your brother is a lucky man cos ita rare to find the educated and more financially stable ones.

AkataWoman:
Why would a man need a woman to take him all over the world? An African man? A big strong Naija ‘man’ at that.

Everything else is true. I don’t know of one African man who is unhappy with his Akata wife. I also agree with avoiding the uneducated, ghetto ones. But are your brothers educated? It sounds as if they’re not good providers.

Onyinyechiakata:
WOW LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE !
THIS IS YOUR ONYINYECHI SWEET "AKATA " you speak of I am across the world and have stumbled upon
A whole forum bashing and judging me about making a better living for MYSELF IN MY country!
How could you tell me to MAKE DECISIONS for myself when I shared with you about my people accusing you of being a user and scam! Because you are from Nigeria! I didn't listen I followed my heart I made a decision to use my VERY OWN JUDGEMENT , I listened to what you said and respected your wishes all for you to turn around behind my back and do the very same as me except its from COMPLETE ICOMPENTENT and IGNORANT TROLLS , you value these opinions !?? YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT Finance , money and opportunity not once saying you love me .. the username Byron asked if you did IN FACT LOVE ME and YOU couldn't even answer! That is what marriage is about LOVE ! I fell in love because I thought you were so different ... not looking to use me but I see I was so wrong ! YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA what its like to be an AMERICAN so really all your opinions do not matter. I have not committed a crime ! I simply did what was best for my future. If you all had the chance you would ! How do you think you can afford school here , YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING MOVING HERE.I was willing to go after OUR DREAMS we talked about together! I DIGRESS I am appalled in this community. My family and friends were right after all I wont say this about all of NIGERIA but I FELL IN LOVE WITH A SCAM !
I could be so DIRTY and EXPOSE WHO YOU REALLY ARE! EXPOSE SECRETS AND FLAWS YOU WANTED ME That O ACCEPT AND I DID BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and still care.! AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM YOU! PATHETIC! AS FOR ALL YOU STUPID JUDMENTAL PEOPLE I PRAY YOU GET A LIFE AND EDUCATE BEFORE JUDGING !

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!

hammed71:
lol the hustle is real

AkataWoman:
I don’t believe you’re the Akata in question.

Not one detail to let him know it’s really you? No initials or pet name only the two of you would know?

Okay.

CanadaOrBust:
Thanks so much !
WOW! WOW!!
It is indeed a small world! This forum is not so faceless after all. Wow!
Onyinyechi, I believe u r the real person they have been discussing and I want to apologize to u and akatawoman for all the vile, cringe-worthy comments and generalizations. Most exposed Nigerians no longer even use the word “akata”.
And the GENERALIZATIONS!! These people deal with the lowest of the low and use them to generalize an entire people. Here u r, an upwardly mobile Nigerian-American of Igbo descent and they lump u with crack-smoking ghetto women. They forget people like the Obamas are also “akata”. They forget there are many African-American families where entire families are well-educated professionals and entrepreneurs with better work ethic than these people making these comments.
Once again I apologize on their behalf and I commend your honesty and openness about your debt. I bet you’ll now receive lots of dm from Naijas. I’ll advise u carefully consider the expenses and waiting that marrying someone over here entails.

Madisonsqua:
Ok listen @Oyinyechiakata, I don’t know if u are the lady in question or not. But if u are, I will love to clear something for u and your lover. I don’t know u or your lover but I was once in his shoe. But now happily married to my partner for some years now.

Firstly this is a faceless forum and I will advise you to be a little bit more respectful of people’s opinions, either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ , not take critics too seriously and also generally direct your anger towards your lover if u have to do so.

People here don’t take side as u can see some have showed so much concern about you and even questioned his love for you. The question of if it’s ‘true’ or ‘not’ is between the two of you.

When it comes to making life decisions, people generally have worries and concerns. Some deal with this all by themselves while some seek for public opinions.

His concerns were more of money, life and migration. Ain’t saying this is right, but has bitter as this may sound, every intending migrant will ask about these three things before uprooting their own life for anyone. It’s not unusual for people in developed countries to quickly see themselves as the victims. So I will advise you stay calm for now.

think about it this way. he knows you are not rich but you are doing everything you could to have a better future. Which is the best thing and I must commend you for that.
In the course of this, you’ve incurred some personal debt and you still planning to have more. A potential partner is not wrong for having concerns about it. If anything, it shows he’s not planning to dump you so fast and he’s concerned that once you’re married, your problem becomes his. Which is generally true because you will end up sharing bills and other household expenses. And if u can’t afford a lot due to your repayment then he has to step up for you.

Nigerians are not so exposed to living on debt as we do in developed countries and our orientation about debt is completely different. Nigerians grow up being told to stay away from debts and we have no government or institutions financial support.
When I migrated myself, I will get mad at my partner for acquiring new loans or credit cards. I thought her about finances and how to live on a budget (not the easiest job anyway). But you know what? 2 years later I realised having debt is even a good thing for myself if I wanna go far in this countries. As long as they’re for the right reasons.

My Orientation changed even though I was still very careful with my finances. All over the world, Nigerians are making history and working their ass off to have a better life. Your partner is planning to migrate and also work his ass off but he’s concerned if he would be responsible for your loan. That’s for you to know he’s inexperience about how things works out there.

The same way your family is concerned about you falling in love with a scammer, he is also concerned about being used considering the news we’ve been told as African growing up that our men have been used and abused by foreign women just the same way some people around you think all Nigerians are scammers.

I’m not encouraging you to continue or end your relationship, but just telling you’ve got heaps to learn about each other if you truely wanna be together.

AkataWoman:
The way Africans worship white people is so weird and strange to the rest of the world.

In any situation an African will insist white people are perfect but black Americans are the devil.

It’s funny and sad at the same time.

You obviously know NOTHING about white women especially in comparison to black American women.

I’ll just let you find out the hard way.

Nostradamus:
lol

Onyinyechiakata:
WOW LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE !
THIS IS YOUR ONYINYECHI SWEET "AKATA " you speak of I am across the world and have stumbled upon
A whole forum bashing and judging me about making a better living for MYSELF IN MY country!
How could you tell me to MAKE DECISIONS for myself when I shared with you about my people accusing you of being a user and scam! Because you are from Nigeria! I didn't listen I followed my heart I made a decision to use my VERY OWN JUDGEMENT , I listened to what you said and respected your wishes all for you to turn around behind my back and do the very same as me except its from COMPLETE ICOMPENTENT and IGNORANT TROLLS , you value these opinions !?? YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT Finance , money and opportunity not once saying you love me .. the username Byron asked if you did IN FACT LOVE ME and YOU couldn't even answer! That is what marriage is about LOVE ! I fell in love because I thought you were so different ... not looking to use me but I see I was so wrong ! YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA what its like to be an AMERICAN so really all your opinions do not matter. I have not committed a crime ! I simply did what was best for my future. If you all had the chance you would ! How do you think you can afford school here , YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING MOVING HERE.I was willing to go after OUR DREAMS we talked about together! I DIGRESS I am appalled in this community. My family and friends were right after all I wont say this about all of NIGERIA but I FELL IN LOVE WITH A SCAM !
I could be so DIRTY and EXPOSE WHO YOU REALLY ARE! EXPOSE SECRETS AND FLAWS YOU WANTED ME TO ACCEPT AND I DID BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and still care.! AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT ME TAKING MONEY FROM YOU! PATHETIC! AS FOR ALL YOU STUPID JUDMENTAL PEOPLE I PRAY YOU GET A LIFE AND EDUCATE BEFORE JUDGING !

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!

AngelicBeing:
Chai, nawao, let me wait for the Op to respond to your post

CanadaOrBust:
WOW! WOW!!
It is indeed a small world! This forum is not so faceless after all. Wow!
Onyinyechi, I believe u r the real person they have been discussing and I want to apologize to u and akatawoman for all the vile, cringe-worthy comments and generalizations. Most exposed Nigerians no longer even use the word “akata”.
And the GENERALIZATIONS!! These people deal with the lowest of the low and use them to generalize an entire people. Here u r, an upwardly mobile Nigerian-American of Igbo descent and they lump u with crack-smoking ghetto women. They forget people like the Obamas are also “akata”. They forget there are many African-American families where entire families are well-educated professionals and entrepreneurs with better work ethic than these people making these comments.
Once again I apologize on their behalf and I commend your honesty and openness about your debt. I bet you’ll now receive lots of dm from Naijas. I’ll advise u carefully consider the expenses and waiting that marrying someone over here entails.